Disclaimer: not mine. Still. Imagine that. Everything here belongs to Square whatever it is they're calling themselves now.

Warnings: heavy language. And, well, sort of a lemon, but not really. Lime? Which ever. It's not very good, but I tried, so there .-

B.S. note: I'll no longer be replying to reviews here, because I know that accounts are being deleted for that. So, if you have questions or comments, please email me with them! I'm never busy, really, so feel free. Or not. shrug anyways, sorry about this.

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Seifer

"Why the fuck did you decide to take this mission again?" I brush snow off of my wings and shiver, huddling close to a tree.

Squall throws me an annoyed glance which is kind of ruined by the big yellow umbrella he's holding. "I've told you."

"Yeah, right. 'It's your job.' You did it just to piss me off, didn't you." I shiver again, and pull my wings tighter around my body.

"That's ridiculous," he says in a bothered tone while surveying the ground in front of him. He doesn't seem to notice the snow falling around him. "Seifer, help me put the tent up over here."

"Put the tent up? Are you out of your mind? It's cold!"

"You'll be colder without it." He slings his pack to the ground and takes out a folded tent. I sigh, and go to help him.

I look at the large piece of cloth, and then at the mess of poles that are somehow supposed to hold it together. Fuck, who designed this thing? This is more complicated that the Hyne damned SeeD manual. And it's cold.

We're in a small forest a short distance from Winhill. There have been terrorist threats, although why anyone in their right mind would want to destroy this town, I haven't a clue. So of course Squall volunteered to come down and check it out. And guess who gets to come with him? Three guesses, and the first two don't count.

The pole I'm trying to slide into the tent fabric suddenly loses its traction and slams into my hand. I growl out a 'fuck' and throw the damned stick onto the ground

Squall barely glances at me. Now what happened? He thinks in my direction.

I fall back onto the ground and fold my useless wings around my body, still shivering. Teeth chattering, I explain to him. "It explodiated through the damned hydrostatics of the cataliebrium."

He snorts. "Do tell."

"Fuck off."

He doesn't even answer. Instead he finishes with his side, and then makes me hold the fabric up while he does his magic with the poles. In almost no time at all he has the large tent erected. About time too, now all he needs to do is light a really big fire and we'll be set.

I help him to set up our supplies, noting with a vague amount of pleasure that there is only room for one bed after he gets all of his equipment set up. I flop down on the air mattress as he assembles a portable desk and spreads his papers out. After about five minutes of watching him pore over reports and maps, I'm completely bored out of my mind.

"Squall, I want to go for a walk."

"Go then," he says distractedly.

"Can't. I have to stay next to you."

"... ..."

"Was that a yes?"

"... ..." He scowls at the desk.

"You can study later."

"I thought you were cold."

I smirk at him. "Yeah, but now I'm bored. Amuse me or something."

"Hn." He flips to the next page of his report and then consults a map.

I roll my eyes and sigh at the army print fabric ceiling. "Are you going to be like this the whole time?"

He puts his papers down and walks to his bag without a word. After rummaging around for a while he comes back up with a CD player and a CD case. He walks back to his chair and snaps the headphones over his ears, presses a button on the CD player, and then picks up the report again.

"Hmph, fine. Probably a tape recording of some damn lecture anyways." I turn to the back of the wall, and start to examine my wings.

"Well, in all fairness, he is trying to work on an important mission," an all too familiar voice says suddenly from behind me.

I blink and scowl. "Hyne dammit Loki, I thought she was going to tell you to stay away!" I roll over and glare at him.

The ebony haired man smirks at me. "And I did for over three weeks, didn't I? Hyne told me to come back though. She wants me to answer your question for you."

Hyne above. . . "what question?"

He waves his hand airily. "The one about you wanting to know if you were selected to be an angel for your skills or if it ran in the family."

I raise my eyebrows. "Okay?"

He smiles. "Well come on then, I'll show you."

I shake my head and sigh. "Listen idiot, I can't leave Squall's side. How the hell can I come with you?"

"Not a problem. Hyne waived that law for now, but only for a few hours." And with that he gets up and leaves.

I huff, and then go and lift up Squall's headphones. "I'm going out. Bye!"

He scowls again and forcefully pushes his headphones back over his ears. Poor Squall, so predictable.

I run out after Loki, my body immediately breaking out in goose bumps due to the biting cold. Loki is standing with his wings stretched over his head, forming a sort of huge black umbrella that blocks the swirling snow flakes. I take a page out of his book, and find it helps somewhat with the cold and visibility.

The going is rather slow, and we walk in silence for quite some time before Loki decides to talk. "Hey, you remember Fey and Nicholai?"

I grunt. Kind of hard to forget the people who want to ruin my death.

"Well," he says, "they used to be my parents."

Well, that's interesting. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah", he says, pointing the right direction, "When we were alive they gave birth to me and all that. They died when I was two, something about the first Sorceress War. I went to live my Granny here in Winhill. She was really poor, so we didn't have a lot, but we managed to scrape by. After we died they stopped being my parents, because that's only a worldly thing. Nothing like family matters after death, because Hyne is the mother, the world is the father, and all the Angels are brothers and sisters. But obviously people who live together in life are close in death, you know what I mean?" He shakes his head. "I guess you wouldn't, would you?" He muses to himself.

Actually it does kind of make sense, but no need to let him know that. I grimace as my leg smacks a sharp branch, but the cold helps to numb the pain. "So, how did you die?"

He snorts. "It's kind of tragic, really. And not at all pleasant. Do you really want to know?"

"I asked, didn't I?"

His black wings move with his as he shrugs. "Alright. Oh, hold on, let me see where we are." He peers around him, eyes squinted for better vision, and then nods. "Right, over here. Eh, my death. . . it's kind of a long story." He takes a breath. "I was fifteen. Granny was sick, and she needed medicine that wasn't available in Winhill. Obviously I didn't know where Esthar was, so I decided to go to Deling City. My first day there I checked into a motel, and then went out to find the medicine. I'd never been in a big city before, so I got lost. I had also never run into any bad people before, so when this older man offered to help me, I accepted." He scratches his forehead. "Well, to make a long story a little shorter, he raped me and then murdered me in an alleyway. Slit my throat. Still have a bit of a scar, actually, right here." He rubs the middle of his throat. "It wasn't fun."

. . .the hell? "Is that allowed? Shouldn't Hyne have been watching out for you?"

He shrugs. "When she really wants someone dead, she doesn't have to be nice about it. That's why I hated you, you know. I never understood what made you so great, why you got to be alive when I didn't. You and I were the same age, and I was probably smarter. I had people around who loved me and would be hurt about my loss, you didn't really, 'cept for maybe Squall and Quistis. You know how you resented having to guard Squall? That was nothing compared to me." He smirks. "I actually hit Hyne. Punched her right across that perfect face."

I smirk with him. I wish I had seen him do that, it's such a priceless image. I'm about to ask him about his Granny when he speaks up. "We're here."

'Here' is just like everywhere else we've been: white and frigid. "Um, 'here' where?"

"Cemetery," he says, and then waves his hands like he's shooing away a fly. I whistle as the snow immediately disappears over the small area.

"Neat trick."

He waves again. "Just a little something for the kiddies."

The cemetery isn't all that big, holding maybe fifty graves. "Hey!" I kneel next to one of them. "I met her!" It reads 'Raine Loire'. I frown. "She's kind of bitchy."

Loki laughs. "She had to be, to make you so what she wanted. She's actually a lovely person. Funny as hell, too."

I snort. I'll believe that when I see it. I move down the rows, reading names at random. Loki sits down on the ground, underneath a statue of an angel. His black wings and hair contrast dramatically with the white marble, and I'm momentarily struck by the humor in the situation. A perfect angel with black demon wings. Hyne sure does have one hell of a humor.

As I move up the rows the dates start getting newer. 'Alfred Mandell: beloved brother' (the word 'not' spray painted underneath); 'Xavier DeGraff: Bitten To Death by Bite Bugs'; 'Ty Murdoch: About Damned Time' . . .they go on and on. A faint smile is on my mouth, but it drops as I reach the end of the row. Frowning, I lean closer and read it again. And again.

"Uh, Loki?"

He looks up from inspecting his nails. "Ah, so you found it."

". . . I don't understand."

He raises his eyebrows. "What, can't you read?"

I growl at him. "You know what I'm fucking talking about!"

He stands, shakes out his wings, and smirks at me. "Yes, actually, I do. It's fairly self explanatory. I trust you can find your way back?" And with that he waves his arms and blinks out of sight as the snow begins to fall once more over the small graveyard.

I stand, silent for a moment, and then kick the stone cross with all of my might. It tilts slightly, but doesn't fall. And I hate it, hate it for not falling, hate it for being here, hate it for what it represents. I bow my head and squeeze my eyes shut, willing myself to block out the feelings. And then, a sick feeling in my stomach, I turn to leave.

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Squall

I lay the reports back on my desk and rub my tired eyes. If what I'm reading is correct, then there is way too much paperwork for this simple task of eliminating a small group of Sorceress supporters. I shake my head and look over the map again. Maybe I'll go tomorrow when the snow clears up. If it clears up, I think glumly, looking out at the swirling flakes.

I stand and stretch, glancing briefly at my watch as I do so. I lower my hand slightly, and then do a quick double take. 20:00. Seifer left about five hours ago, and it would appear he never came back. Whatever, if he's not back in twenty minutes I'll go after him. Probably trying to piss me off again. I lay on the air mattress, trying to get a bit of rest.

The bed is surprisingly comfortable, and it almost makes up for the fact that I have to share it with Seifer, wherever the hell he is. Seifer. . . Hyne. This means I'll actually have to get up out of this comfortable bed, find my clothes, and get dressed. And then I'll probably have to spend hours in the freezing cold looking for him, all because of his childish behavior. I scowl, feeling the scar tissue between my eyes scrunch up. When I find him he'll probably try to kiss me or some other idiotic thing. For the past week that's all he's been doing, trying to 'seduce' me. Whatever. He's a man, I'm a man. We're rivals, we exchanged scars. He tried to dominate the world, I saved it. It just wouldn't . . . work. . . I yawn. Alright, just a brief rest, and then I'll get up and get dressed and find him. I close my eyes. . .

. . .and snap them open. It's pitch black in the tent, and I wonder vaguely what time it is. . .Seifer! I jump out of bed quickly and then stumble as my foot catches on something. I hop on one foot, trying to regain my balance, but it doesn't help. I can feel myself falling, and brace myself for the impact. It comes hard and fast, but my arms and wrists absorb most of the shock.

Fuck. . .I turn to see what I tripped on. A large red bundle, almost invisible in the dark, seems to be curled next to the bed. I sit up and squint. "Seifer?"

"Whad'ya want?" The voice sounds tired, and holds none of his regular conviction.

I look at him, curled in his fetal position, and frown. This isn't right. "Why aren't you on the bed?"

He shifts his large body. "Didn't want to wake you up."

What? Of all the stupid things . . . "When did you get back?" A brief glance at the clock tells me it's almost one in the morning. He must have left around five in the afternoon.

"I dunno. Maybe an hour ago? Who cares."

I shake my head. "Seifer, get in bed."

He sighs, but miraculously gets up and goes under the covers. He rolls onto the farthest side and turns his back to me, still curled up in his fetal position. I watch him, puzzled. Suddenly a feeling comes over me, a feeling of strong confusion and something that runs deeper, a sense of loss.

I frown, and start getting undressed. I wonder where he went. It had to have been something terrible to shake him this much. I've never seen him like this. Whatever, I'm not going to get anywhere by thinking about it.

I let my pants fall to the floor and then fold them neatly before sliding into the bed with a shiver. Hyne, it's so cold. I clutch the blankets tighter around me, but it doesn't help. Seifer shifts next to me, and then I can feel his arms slide around my waist. A large wing drapes over me. I stiffen in his hold even as I'm sighing from the warmth.

"Seifer, what. . ."

"Almasy." He says, interrupting me. "It said Almasy."

Okay, this is way beyond me. "Seifer, I think. . ."

"No, you don't." He interrupts again. "Nobody does. You have your family, your precious father, even your mother is watching you. I never knew. . . you can't even begin to think. . ."

Out of all his rambling only one thing makes sense. "My mother?"

He doesn't seem to hear me. "Loki, all of them. All dead." He sighs. "Everyone. I never knew."

"Seifer, what are you talking about?"

"Almasy! It said Loki Almasy!" He's not shouting, but he seems to be in near hysteria.

"Loki?" I don't understand.

"Of course you don't understand, how could you?" He reads my thoughts again. "'Loki Almasy' December 22- February 3'. My brother. I had a Hyne-damned brother, Squall. A twin. Parents. She, Hyne, she killed them all, so that I could be the fucking Sorceress Knight. 'Everything has it's own plan and place'." He laughs, a cold dry laugh, and then hugs me tighter. "Why us? Why not some body else? Loki was barely fifteen, Squall, he had to finish growing up under her care in Heaven. Why does she do it? If she's so omnipotent, why can't she just do it herself?"

I sigh, and relax in his grasp. "I don't know Seifer. But we did it."

He snorts. "I guess so. It only ruined my family, not to mention the world."

"Nothing good came from it?"

He's silent for quite some time, and then says, "I'm not quite sure yet."

". . .?" What?

He moves me then, moves me so I'm lying flat on my back. Under him. "Seifer," I whisper. "Get off, please. . ."

"No." He shakes his head firmly, and then sighs. "Squall, I don't know what happened to you to make you want to kill yourself, but I'm not one of those bastards who hurt you. I'm not going to hurt you now, either."

I can see his eyes, oddly bright in the dark. I look beyond his head, at the ceiling, listening to the storm rage around us. "Seifer, Rinoa. . ."

"Can go to hell," he growls. His lips brush over mine, and then his head lowers. A tongue licks the side of my neck, warm and so unexpected, and my eyes open wide in shock. "Seifer!"

He nips the spot lightly and then releases, and I stare wide eyed at him. "You. . .I. . .you. . ."

"Me, you, me," he smirks at me. "Get to the point."

"What do you think you're doing?" I can't believe he did that! What is wrong with him? "You licked me, my neck, you licked my neck!"

"I plan on licking more than that, Squall."

Panic overwhelms me, and I try to throw him off. He doesn't even budge, something I'm sure is impossible. "Seifer, no. I refuse to do this."

"Do you?" His tone is almost bored as he smirks at me. Hyne, wasn't he just crying on my shoulder about his family? What happened to that?

"What happened, Squall, was that I'm at a very unstable point in my life, a point which requires human contact. Not only are you handy, you're the only human I can touch. Now hold still."

"Seifer, we are two men!"

"Oh, you're a man?" I scowl at him, and he smirks as he throws all the blankets off of the bed. "Squall, just shut your eyes. Relax. Enjoy yourself."

I'm about to get up and leave, but then he rubs my neck in the previously licked spot. Tension immediately melts away, and a fuzzy feeling takes over my brain. "Hyne. . ." It feels good. . . The thought initially surprises me, but then is forgotten as more waves of pleasure take control of my vision. "Okay, maybe just this once. . ." And, against my better judgement, my eyes close. I don't even feel in control of my own body at this point.

I can feel him get on his knees above me, and then he uses both hands to massage my neck. His hands, moving in long smooth strokes, move down to my chest, where he rubs away all the aches of the past several months. I hum in pleasure as his hands move to my stomach, my mind completely empty of trivial matters. I'm barely aware of him as he moves lower, only that he applies more force to my stomach. "Hn. . ." He chuckles, and then rubs further, pushing my underwear out of the way. He massages with one hand and uses the other to lift me up. I do so without a thought, barely registering that he's taking my briefs off. I lift my legs, allowing them to slide down, residing in that wonderful place between awake and asleep. If only he would stop rubbing my penis and start rubbing my neck again. . . something doesn't seem right with that thought.

I come back to earth with a start, really noticing for the first time what Seifer is touching now. And also noticing that I'm hard, sticking up for the world to see. "Seifer. . .!"

He looks up at me, the look in his eyes something I've never seen before. Something indescribable. "Squall," he asks softly, "Do you want me to stop?"

I've never felt this way, not even with Rinoa. With Seifer it's different, better. I flop back on the bed and put my arms over my eyes. "... ..." No.

He laughs breathily, and then does something I've never even heard of before: he licks my penis. I jerk my hips, but don't say anything. It feels so good, so much better than anything I've felt before. I can feel the aftershocks of that little lick reverberate through my body, creating waves of pleasure. "Hyne. . ."

"Please don't mention her," he states, and then I'm lost as he brings me into his mouth, slowly, inch by inch. I can feel myself losing it, becoming lost in the pleasure. Must. Not. Cum. In his. Mouth. I repeat the thought over and over as a mantra as he draws me in deeper. His hands run over my skin: my stomach, my legs, my chest. He tweaks a nipple, and pleasure explodes through my senses. I can feel myself thrusting up into his mouth, but he forces my hips back down to stop me.

And then I can feel the orgasm starting, like a tidal wave crashing and roaring towards the shore, and I can hear a high keening noise ripping unbidden from my throat, and his mouth is so hot on my dick. . .and then he's still. The impending orgasm halts on that one deliriously high point, and then sinks back to the ocean. "Seifer. . ." I can't keep the sobbing noise from my throat.

"Yes?"

"Nnnnnggh." I hate you.

"Oh, then I guess you don't want this. . ." And then his mouth is over me again, licking me, massaging me, and then his hands are on my dick and it's all I can do not to scream as he pumps and licks me. Black pleasure spots burst in my vision, and I can feel my body writhing and I can hear senseless words pouring from my mouth, and then he draws me fully into his mouth again and sucks hard while lightly running a hand over my nipple, and I can't hold it in anymore. I jerk my hips off the bed and I'm coming and I don't think it will ever stop. Seifer thankfully doesn't quit and even after the initial orgasm my body still twitches as pleasure rebounds through my senses.

I fall back on the bed, breathless. "Seifer, fuck."

"Maybe later Squall, I'm tired."

My eyes widen. "Don't you want. . .?"

Seifer shrugs and crawls up the bed to lie by me. He rests his head on my chest and curls up next to my side with his leg over mine and his arm wrapped around my torso, and then drapes his wing over us. "Later." And then he falls asleep, breathing evenly, his chest rising and falling as it rests on my own.

I rub my hand over his wing and revel once again in its smoothness and softness, not what I had expected when I first saw them. He shudders in his sleep, and smiles. Bastard didn't even give me time to thank him.

Well, I think as I drift off to sleep, I'll have to make it up to him later.