Chapter 15: Sirius Black's Insults Suck
"You ugly git," Lucius Malfoy snarled at (considerably younger, still-at-school) Sirius Black. "Just looking at you makes me want to jump off a cliff."
"Yeah?" Sirius asked with a scowl on his face. "Well…your mum."
"My mum what?" Lucius asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion and twirling his ever-present pimp cane (which really isn't there in the books but is strangely amusing, anyway).
"Just…your mum," Sirius replied, embarrassed.
"Did you seriously just say that?!" Lucius responded, disturbed.
"Yes," Sirius said. "Yes, I did."
"No wonder everyone says you're a freak," Lucius muttered, walking away.
"Your dad!" Sirius screamed after him. "Your cousin! Your…UNCLE'S GRANDMOTHER'S SISTER-IN-LAW'S SON, TWICE-REMOVED!"
"Nope," Lucius shouted back, "that still sucked."