Disclaimer: FF8: Squaresoft. Plot, etc.: Mine. Ha, I win. (sniffle Last disclaimer for this story .)

Warnings: Language, NO lemon (Sad, really.), crappy ending. Also, quickedit has killed my formatting! So please, kill , not me. ;

Whee, last chapter. But you already know that, because you read the last chapter (this makes perfect sense). Anyway, I would like to thank all of you for making it this far . Much obliged.

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Squall

"Yo. Yo, Squall, you thirsty, man? C'mon, wake up."

". . .ngh. . ." Go. Away.

"C'mon, we're almost at the Garden. You gotta get up."

I open my eyes slowly, and am met by the sight of a worried Zell. His tattoo catches my attention. No reason, it's just a place to look. I wonder vaguely where he got it and why. We've never discussed it. Then again, we've never discussed anything. Zell, the chicken-wuss.

Chicken-wuss. Seifer. Where's Seifer?

"Where's Seifer?" My head feels like someone's hammering the hell out of it with a big heavy book.

"Uh. . ." Zell turns his head slightly, and the tattoo leaves my line of sight. He peers at me and then touches my forehead with a 'hm'.

"Squall, Seifer died, remember? In Time Compression?"

No, really. Dumbass. I sit up slowly, wincing at the ache in my back, wondering vaguely why my body feels so crappy. It looks like I'm in the Ragnarok. Now that I'm aware of it, I can hear the vague droning of the engine and the feeling of being in an intensely smooth car ride.

Seifer is nowhere in sight. I can't feel his presence, the tiny space in the back of my head that connects me to him is gone. Wonderful; yet another person has left me. Like it wasn't bad enough the first time.

I scowl at Zell and stand quickly; the move makes me sway slightly.

Zell jumps back. "Hey man, what're you doing?"

I push past him, ignoring his annoyed humph. "Taking a piss."

"Wait, Squall, hey man, come on. . ."

I ignore him and shut the door behind me. It doesn't block out his voice though, as he yells, "Hey Selph! Something's wrong with Squall. He think's Seifer's alive!"

Selphie yells something back, and Zell cusses mildly. "Hey, Squall," he shouts while giving the door a single loud bang, "You've got ten minutes before we get there. Selphie is calling Dr. K now, so she'll be ready for you."

I lean against the cool metal door, sighing softly. "Go shove it up your ass."

"What?"

Looking at the ceiling, I reiterate. "I said, 'fine'."

"Oh," he states brilliantly, and then thankfully leaves.

I close my eyes and then sink to the floor, allowing the door to support my descent. I have a raging headache, I'm incredibly nauseous, and this bathroom has no handy window to jump out of. Sometimes life just sucks.

I draw my knees up under my chin and wrap my arms around them, squeezing my body together as tight as I can. I can't feel Seifer anywhere, so I imagine he must have fulfilled whatever it was he was supposed to do. I guess that's a good thing, for him, but still, I hate it when people have to leave, especially people I'm close to.

. . .What-fucking-ever.

"Squall? Squall, can you hear me?"

Selphie. ". . .yeah."

"Oh good! Hey, look, can you like, come out now? We're almost there, and Dr. K wants you to be right there when the door opens." Her voice is slightly high pitched with concern.

Zell's voice cuts in. "Do you need help? I can carry you if you need me to."

A thought occurs to me, and my eyes snap open. ". . .who exactly is driving?"

There is a pause, followed by both of them saying in unison, "Oh, crap."

I roll my eyes and stand awkwardly, wincing at the stabbing pain in my head. To hell with Dr, K, just give me a gun and two hours with these idiots.

I press the lock, and the door swings open. They aren't anywhere to be found, so I walk to the control room, where Zell grins at me nervously.

"Hey man, at least auto-pilot was on, right?"

I look at him, trying to figure out once again if he's for real. "Whatever. Are we there yet?"

Selphie turns around to smile at me, apparently having gotten over her mistake. "Yup, just landing, actually."

My stomach enters my throat as she proves her point. We land with a jolt that knocks me to the ground. I press my hand to my forehead with a groan, reminding myself to ask Cid to find a certified pilot for this damn ship.

The door lifts up, and immediately a small army of paramedics floods into the room. Before I have time to think I'm hooked up to blood pressure monitors and my hand is covered in iodine to make room for the IV. Two of them wheel a stretcher up the ramp, telling each other exactly what to do, and yet both working with a precision such that no words should really be necessary. Dr. K is in the middle of it all, giving orders and directing the ten odd people for what should be just a minor check up. She pauses to check my temperature by placing her hand against my forehead.

"Tell me Squall, how do you feel?"

"I feel fine," I say, then jerk my hand up and accidentally slap her as the sharp IV needle is inserted into my vein without warning.

With a frustrated growl I rip the IV out and throw it hard onto the floor. There is a collective gasp from the medics, who all stop what they're doing. Feeling as if my point has been made, I glare at the shocked paramedics and walk out the door.

Dr. Kadowaki chases me. "Squall, really, you need to stay for observation. Won't you just. . ."

"Fuck your observation," I state mildly, and then speed up. She stares after me, shocked. As if I care.

I enter the repaired Garden, not bothering to respond to whoever dares to speak with me. I almost collide with the boy who has made it his life's mission to have a coronary while running laps in the Garden, and glare at him too. Don't see why not, really. He simply flips me the bird and keeps running.

I shake my head, lips tight, and keep my eyes straight forward as I continue to my single special SeeD room with the extra bed. It doesn't exactly feel like home, but at least it has a nice strong lock on the steel door.

As I press in the code to unlock the room, I realize that maybe steel isn't enough. Rinoa immediately flings herself around at me and wraps her arms around my neck.

I roll my eyes towards the ceiling as she nuzzles her face into my neck, and don't bother to hug her back.

"Oh Squall, I was so worried! They said you were hurt really bad, I didn't know for sure that you wouldn't die!"

The tears building in her eyes just disgust me, and my lip curls.

"Rinoa, can you please leave?"

Her brows scrunch in confusion, and hesitation enters her lovely brown eyes. "Excuse me?"

"Can you leave? I want to be alone."

She makes an odd choking noise in the back of her throat, and a tear falls down her cheek. "Squall. . ."

She obviously won't be leaving on her own any time soon. I purse my lips slightly and ignore her gasp of surprise as I grab her upper arm. As I lead her to the door I manage to say, "goodbye, Rinoa," before literally throwing her out.

Once she is clear I jab the emergency locking mechanism and sigh as the door slams shut. Something tells me I should feel horrible for doing this to her, but I could honestly care less. She was nice while it lasted, but really, it only lasted about an hour.

I move away from the door, ignoring the petulant cries from the other side, and remove my jacket. I toss it on my bed carelessly, and it's quickly followed by my shirt and red belts. I toy with the idea of removing my necklace, and then decide to leave it.

I walk into my private bathroom and turn on the water, intending to take a nice hot bath. My muscles could probably use the relief, and it would give me a little while to relax and think things through.

The water flows into the tub, hot and steaming. I lean against the counter and stare at myself in the mirror. It's odd, I look just the same on the outside, but am so screwed up on the inside. I focus on my eyes, wondering at the many colors that form the grey iris, until the steam makes my reflection disappear.

Then I wriggle out of my pants and underwear, thankful that someone removed my shoes on the Ragnarok. I toss them into a corner, not caring anymore whether or not they'll get a wrinkle. Like Seifer once said: 'Heaven forbid.'

I step into the bathtub slowly, allowing my body to get used to the warm temperature bit by bit. First my feet, then my ankles, then I lower myself into a sitting position and slowly settle myself into the water. Finally immersed, I relax with a sigh.

I swirl my hands in the water, lazily noting the pull of the flow and the swooshing pressure against my skin. It feels good, almost too good. A man could live forever like this, not having to worry about everything or even anything. Idly I flick at the water, smiling slightly as it splashes against the wall. I follow the trail of the water as it drips down back into the tub, feeling languorous, like I'm floating on a cloud, or something flowery like that. The heat seeps into my muscles, relaxing me, and then, at that moment, I feel so tired. A peaceful kind of tired.

Maybe a little rest wouldn't hurt after all.

Seifer

"Okay, look. I don't give a shit whether or not I've 'fulfilled my mission', got it? Now if you all are done, can I please get the fuck out of here?"

Roughly a hundred Angels look at me, non-plussed. I had been set upon by them as soon as I got off that damn elevator, mobbed and totally outnumbered. They had all thanked me profusely, some of them twice, and had thrown a party in my honor.

"But," one Angel asks, blinking strangely, "don't you want to stay around for the verdict?"

He means the verdict from Hyne that will give the yeah or nay to Angels being allowed to physically interact with their charges. I sigh, telling myself this is the last time I'll answer before reverting to something drastic. "No, I do not want to stay for the verdict. I want to talk to Hyne."

The same Angel stares at me for quite some time, and then says, "but the verdict. . ."

". . .can go fuck itself," I finish for him. "Now would someone mind telling me where the hell Hyne is?"

Honestly, boy. How many times must I tell you, there is no real Hell?>

I groan and turn around. Hyne stands in the doorway, serene as ever. "Not the mental mind fuck shit again."

She smiles softly, and then addresses the other Angels. "My children, you have worked long and hard for the interaction of Angels and humans. Thanks to young Seifer Almasy and Squall Leonhart, I have made my decision."

There is a collective hush as the Angels lean in close.

Hyne stares at them all, no expression whatsoever, and then says, "I've decided on the blue."

I stare at her, bewildered, as cheers erupt around me. Almost immediately I'm lifted onto the shoulders of several nearby Angels and am carried around the room. Some Angels are burstnig into tears, and not a single one is quiet. It's like some kind of contest to see who can make the most noise or something. It doesn't help much as I realize they're all chanting my name.

I wave around at them, slightly put off, and then thump the shoulders I'm riding on. "People, hey, you. Put me down."

Of course, that was a mistake. As soon as I hit the ground I'm hugged by several people, the first of which is a man the size of Laguna's friend Ward. I have to fight to get out of the mass, and find myself to be glad I didn't have to fight these people during the war.

I work my way past dozens of cheering, crying Angels towards Hyne, and then stand with my hand over my heart, gasping slightly. She smiles at me, unperturbed.

Come, child.>

I roll my eyes skyward, but follow her just the same, glad to leave the partying freaks behind me. We go down several hallways, all of which have roughly ten doors in them. The doors all have numbers, and it occurs to me that these are the living quarters for the Angels. I frown a little bit when I see them. It had really never occurred to me where Angels slept. I had assumed that they lived on clouds and played trumpets all day. Of course, I had also assumed that Hyne was a man.

The Goddess in question pushes open a door marked 'Authorized Personnel Only', and waves me inside.

I find myself to be in the same room I had woken up in and, wouldn't it just be my luck, it's complete with its very own Loki. He smiles brightly and waves, and I nod at him.

Hyne leads me to the same stone table where I once watched my life flash before my eyes. She waves her hand over it, and Squall is shown. My eyes narrow and then widen.

"Hey, what the fuck?"

Hyne raises a beautifully sculpted eyebrow at me. "Yes?"

I watch the image, unchanging in its reality. "Is this real?"

Oh, yes.> Hyne's voice reverberates through my skull. Everything you see here is real. However,> she says, while making the image disappear, that is of little consequence. There are more important things.>

"Right. Like what?" Like there could be things more important than what I just saw.

Hyne waves at Loki, who steps forward. "'Morning Seifer. Anyway, I'm supposed to be teaching you all you need to know about being an Angel. Guess what? We get to be roommates until you learn it all." He smiles brightly.

Oh, hell no. My eyes widen against my will, and he laughs.

"Just kidding. But anyway, I am supposed to be teaching you this stuff. First off, any burning questions?"

I'm about to say no, but when I shift my weight I happen to knock my wing into view. "Yeah. What's with the color scheme?"

He frowns, and then it seems to dawn on him. "Oh, the wings? That's easy. Each color signifies a status, or rank. Let's see," he thinks for a moment. "Red is the bottom of the scale, for the trainees. You know, the scrubs." He ignores my glare. "Orange is for labor people, like the cafeteria helpers or the bellhops, that kind of thing. Yellow is healers, because some Angels are too stupid to stay away from critical situations. I imagine you'll be seeing a lot of them. Green is for messenger services, they deliver messages to Earth and take care of basic news coverage. Blue is the army. Nicholai is the Commander, actually. One step down from the Angel of Death. Purple is the records. They keep track of every Angel, all the books, who does what, who's in charge of who, and tons of other things. They all have specific functions. Fey is in charge of the Book of the Dead. She decides pretty much everything, and deals with the people that Hyne takes no interest in. And then you have the whites, which are all the Government positions, and the gold, which is everything else.

The idea that I'm lower than a cafeteria worker kind of stings, but I notice that he didn't mention black. I figure it must really suck, if he left it out. "What about black?"

He grins far too broadly for my taste. "Oh, I was hoping you would ask. Black is the highest of the high. Second only to Hyne in everything. Who knows, if you work hard enough, you just might get there someday."

I glare at him, shaking my head. "What-fucking-ever."

Seifer.

I turn my glare on Hyne, and am slightly perturbed when she doesn't even notice. Instead, she is looking into the table, face pensive.

Squall needs you.>

Squall

"Squall? Squall?! Squall!"

The screaming voice wakes me from my rest, knocking me out of a rather lovely dream. I scowl and roll over, surprised to find myself on the bed. I imagine that I must have dragged myself here from the bathtub, too tired to notice what I was doing.

"Dr. Kadowaki! Please, you have to come. Please!"

The hell? I thought I kicked Rinoa out. Her hysteric sobbing screams alert me, and I unconsciously slip into the defensive position. God, I hope she's not going to try something drastic to get back at me.

"Rinoa?"

"Squall, get up."

"I'm up."

"Squall," she sobs, "please get up."

As I sit up, three things happen simultaneously. I realize that Rinoa isn't in this room, she's in the bathroom. Dr. K bursts through the door, followed by a couple of paramedics with a couple of odd revival apparatuses. And last, I notice the wings. Two of them. On both sides of me.

I can see them, but I can't feel their weight. Hesitantly I reach around my back and feel for my shoulder blades, swallowing hard as my hands come in contact with the thick leathery bases. Son of a bitch.

I stand awkwardly, the weight initially throws me slightly off kilter. Then I make my way for the bathroom, where Rinoa is gibbering in a high pitched voice.

"I dunno I just got here and he was weird and he threw me out said he wanted to be alone and I had no idea and he wouldn't talk and then he was in the bathtub and I found him and he didn't come up and he didn't move and I didn't know what to do and. . ."

"Will somebody please take care of her? I'll deal with her in the infirmary later."

As I look into the room one of the two paramedics holds a hand towards Rinoa and casts sleep, talking to her gently, and she gradually falls silent. He picks her up and starts to carry her out of the room. Before I can move to any degree, he walks straight through me.

I watch as Dr. K pulls my body from the bathtub, watch as it is lowered onto the floor amid a small flood of water. She immediately uses a phoenix down starts pumping the chest in basic revival fashion. Not much happens. She lowers her head and places it on my chest, next to the icicle scar, and then shakes her head.

With a determined frown, she casts life on me, and pumps my chest again. Nothing happens.

The second paramedic returns, and asks what he can do to help. Dr. K looks at my body sadly, a small tear escapes her eye. Silently, she reaches up and closes my eyes.

"Nothing."

The paramedic sighs deeply, and bows his head. "I'll alert the headmaster."

"Thanks, Morgan."

The remaining paramedic stands, his pants soaked, mood somber. "I'll take the equipment back. You want me to bring anything?"

Dr. K sighs, and then nods. "A . . . a body bag, if you would. And some towels."

The paramedic nods back and, with one last look at my body, wheels the equipment out. Dr. K, left alone with my body, sits down with crossed legs and puts her head in her hands.

I walk into the room, hardly noticing the water, and kneel next to her. My body looks nothing like what I thought a drowned person would look like. The skin is tinged slightly blue from lack of oxygen, but I'm not all bloated. In a way, I'm thankful. I don't want my comrades to have to see me like that.

I rest my hand on Dr. K's shoulder, although I know she can't feel it. My face looks peaceful, for once in my life. I view the scars with a kind of detached distaste, the reasons for each one flashing briefly in the very back of my brain. The scar that Seifer gave me the first time around is slightly puckered from being so long in water, and without thinking about it I reach up to feel the space between my eyes. It hardly surprises me that the scar is still there, and I have to say I'm grateful for it. My scars are a part of me; I would feel like an important piece had been taken from me if I had lost them.

After a minute or so Dr. K sighs and stands, brushing her pant legs off. She opens my cupboard and grabs the towels, then drapes them over the floor around my body. They're immediately soaked, and she wipes up the mess as best she can and then throws the lot in the corner next to my pants.

I scowl at her. She just ruined a two hundred gil pair of pants, and doesn't seem to even care about it. Instead, she just keeps sighing and looking at my body. I could have been buried in those pants. I rub my forehead, shaking my head. Dr. K never was incredibly useful.

"Excuse me, Doctor. The headmaster is on his way. He wants you to leave Commander Leonhart where he is, and report back the infirmary."

Dr. Kadowaki stands and plants her hands firmly on her hips. "Does the headmaster realize that I'm the only trained professional on his staff?"

"Yes, I do, Doctor," I stand on reflex as Cid strides into the room. "I also realize that Commander Leonhart is beyond medical help. An investigation will have to be made, so unless you're a trained investigator, I'll have to ask you to leave."

The Doctor gives him the hairy eyeball, and the two engage in a vicious battle of the glare. Finally Dr. K shuts her eyes with a sigh and, with one last look at my body, she turns to leave.

Cid watches her leave, and then shakes his head. "Regrettable," he says under his breath, and then leaves the bathroom. I follow him out, not exactly sure what I'm supposed to be doing. I mean, am I supposed to be stuck on Earth forever? I always thought that death was the end, but now, I have no clue.

Cid sits on my bed and turns on the intercom. He waits for the Garden operator to answer, and then says, "Esthar, Laguna Loire."

Oh, shit.

Laguna comes on the line with a click. "Yellow?"

Cid waits for a moment, and then takes a breath. "Mr. Loire. . ."

Laguna's voice comes over the speaker, still insanely cheerful. "Please, call me Laguna."

"Alright, Laguna. Listen. . ."

"You know, I've actually been meaning to call you. I wanted to know if I could have a permanent SeeD coalition force in Esthar. I was thinking maybe Squall could lead it, maybe start his own Garden here. . ."

"Laguna, please. . ."

"I'd be willing to pay any amount of money, you see. . ."

Cid's face goes from solemn to slightly annoyed to clenching his jaw. Finally he sighs. "Laguna! Listen to me, Laguna."

"No, Headmaster, don't tell him, Cid. . .I swear. . ." I try to wrest the phone from him, but my hand passes straight through it.

"Laguna, Squall is dead."

I freeze at his words, and slowly turn my head towards the speaker. There is a long, death still silence. Finally Laguna laughs, a nervous laugh.

"I'm sorry, Cid. I don't think I heard . . ."

Cid intervenes. "He drowned in his bathtub. He was discovered by miss Heartilly approximately half an hour ago. It was too late. I'm terribly sorry Laguna, I know how you. . ."

There's a hard click, and then a droning buzz. Laguna hung up on Cid.

I fall backwards onto Rinoa's bed, cursing Cid for the fool he is. Seriously, who tells someone about a death over the phone? He's got no fucking tact. There's no telling what this will do to Laguna, the man already hopeless as it is.

Cid sighs and shakes his head, then presses the button again. I stand, wanting to get away from this moron.

My wings make me tilt to one side as I stand, and it takes me a moment to orientate myself. I walk around the edge of the bed and to the door, trying to ignore Cid as he requests a forensics team. Honestly, I died. It's not a national emergency.

I look at the metal door, and decide to test exactly how far my being dead can go. I stick my hand up and press to the metal. It brushes over the cool material, and then I press harder. Slowly but surely, my hand goes through the door. I stare at it for a moment, and then debate pushing the rest of my body through. I may have been lucky so far, but I would hate to get halfway through and then find my body stuck inside of a stupid door for all eternity. After a short debate, I decide to go for it.

I pull my hand back in, take a step back and then, shutting my eyes, I jump through the door. . .

. . .and land on top of a person. I open my eyes wide, and then wider as I realize I'm sitting on Seifer. I can't get off of him fast enough.

He rubs his forehead and groans, then lowers his hand and looks at me. Almost immediately, his appraising look turns into a glare.

"Who the hell gave you black wings?"

Seifer

As is typical, Squall get's the V.I.P. treatment as soon as we get to the Overworld. Hyne herself is there to greet him, backed by several hundred curious Angels, all wanting to get a glimpse of the 'Savior'. And, as is also typical, Squall has no clue whatsoever.

He's in the middle of a conversation with Loki, who came to get us in his own personal elevator. Something about Squall's elevated status, and all the perks the precious black wings get. I find myself clenching my teeth, almost positive that Loki is behind this. He's the only person I can think of who would find it amusing to torture me like this.

"Also, you get unlimited time in the shower. Naturally the water never gets cold, unless you prefer it that way. The lower statuses have a set time limit, you see."

Squall nods his head, apparently seeing very well.

I find myself glaring at Hyne. "His royal majesty requests your presence."

She smiles at me, serene as ever. "Thank you, young Almasy. You've done well. I believe you deserve a reward for this."

"Oh?" Visions of black wings and long hot showers fill my mind.

"I'm promoting you to the green. You will act as a secretary for Mr. Leonhart."

"What?! You can't do that! Do you have any idea how unfair that is? Just because he saved the world. . ."

She walks by me, completely ignoring me. "Ah, Mr. Leonhart. I'm so glad you arrived safely. Please, follow me."

He looks towards Loki (Loki?!), who motions him on. With a barely perceptible shrug, he follows the witch. Loki grabs my arm as he passes, forcing me to follow. I wrench my arm from his grasp and follow of my own volition, glaring at the world.

Much to my great un-surprise, I find she's led us straight back to the room with the weird table. With a serene face, she says, "Welcome to the Overworld, Mr. Leanhart. I am Hyne."

Squall's eyes widen, then he scoffs. "Bullshit."

"And so do cows, but they don't brag about it."

Squall frowns. "Excuse me?"

"Sorry, I've been wanting to say that for decades." Hyne smiles benignly. "However, I jest you not. I am Hyne."

Squall shakes his head, and I raise an eyebrow at him. "You can't be Hyne. Hyne is a man."

She cocks her head to one side. "Gender is rather relative, isn't it?"

"Whatever. All the stories say you're a man."

"Yes, but I happen to be a woman."

Squall narrows his eyes at her. "So, you never cut your body in half?"

My eyes go wide. I don't know what the fuck he's been smoking, but man . . . Hyne breaks into laughter.

"Oh, that old story. Yes, at that time I was in my true form. The humans were so amusing, you see. The look on their faces when they discovered my body was only a shell. Ah, to be young again." She smiles again.

Squall nods, as he seems to do when he's proved a point. "Your true form. A man."

"Technically, I have no sex. But I suppose that form is more manly. It is annoying, you see. All those unsightly bulges. I much prefer this form."

Squall nods, then replies, "But your true form is manly."

Hyne stares at him for a very long time, then sighs. "Yes, my true form is that of a man."

He nods again, as if he's made some kind of point to himself. "What's my purpose here?"

Hyne blinks, thrown slightly off balance. "Oh. Well, nothing for now. Young Almasy has agreed to be your secretary. . ."

"What?! Bullshit!"

". . .and he'll be quite happy with it. You may ask Loki or any of your peers for help, if you so choose. Loki will show you to your room now. However, due to a shortage, you'll have to double up with Young Almasy until another room can become available. Unless, of course, you don't wish him to. I believe there is room in the kitchens where he can sleep."

I glare at him. "Squall, if you even think about it, I'll rip your fucking head off."

Squall laughs slightly, then shakes his head. "He can sleep on the floor. May we leave?"

Hyne nods, and indicates for Loki to show us out.

The man turns and motions us to follow him, black wings bobbing with his steps. I glare at Hyne one last time, the turn to follow Squall.

Loki walks ahead of us, humming a random song to himself, minding his own business. I catch up to Squall and pull him back a little ways, just out of Loki's earshot.

"Hey. How ya doing?"

Squall shrugs. "I've been better."

"No kidding. I saw what Cid did. Fucking asshole, doesn't have a goddamned clue. But hey, I'm supposed to give you a message."

Squall scowls at the mention of Cid's name. "What?"

"One of the healers doesn't like the look of that head wound you got in that last battle. She wants you to come down and see her about it as soon as you can."

"Do I have to?"

"Well, no, but if you don't, she'll probably have my head. For some reason, your mother hates me."

He stops in his tracks, grey eyes wide. "My mother?"

"Yeah, Raine Leonhart. She caught me when I was going down to get your ass, made me promise to tell you."

Squall stares at me. "My mother? She's here? She knows you? Wait, oh Hyne, does she know what you did?"

"Yeah, your mom. Yeah, she's here. Yes, I've had the great un-pleasure of meeting her. If you're referring to my stint as the Knight, she knows. If you're referring to that blow job, she knows that too."

He goes white.

"Look Squall, it's not that big of a deal. She was trying to get my to screw you from the beginning, okay?"

He starts walking, almost like a zombie. "My mother. . ." he says, again, his eyes staring straight ahead.

"Yeah, whatever. Y'know, you still owe me for that."

He swivels his heads towards me, slowly. "What?"

I give him my best grin. "I figured since we'll be sharing a room and all, you could pay me back. You owe me one."

". . .Seifer, I don't. . ."

"Eh-hem. 'Scuse me, but this is your room." Loki stands outside the door, hands clasped behind his back. I can barely discern the faint silver scar across his neck for a moment before he levels his head towards me. "There's only one bed, for now, but only because I love my little brother so much. We're working on another one. Squall, when you're ready, some people up here would like to meet you. Now look, before you go in, I need to ask you a couple questions. Seifer, would you mind going away? Buh-bye." He gives me a little four finger wave. I glare at him, then walk into the room and shut the door.

It doesn't really surprise me that the place looks more like a high rise apartment than a room. There's a huge living area with a kitchen off the right. Chairs are placed randomly throughout the room, with a huge stereo system, computer, big plasma screen TV, and several other devices scattered around.

"It's too quiet in here," I mutter to myself, just for the sake of making noise. Immediately there is a ring, like that of a bell, and the radio clicks on.

"What would you like to listen to today, Master Almasy?"

Master Almasy? Now that's more like it. I smile at it, pleased. "Whatever's good."

"Very well, sir." There's another click, and 'Eyes on Me' immediately blares from the speakers.

"Gah! No! Shut off! Fucking thing. . ." I hate this song. The radio ignores me.

I spot a door nearby and, almost wrenching the door off its hinges trying to open it, escape inside. Hyne, he even has a gorgeous bathroom. White marble floors, walls, and bathtub, all inlaid with tendrils of gold. The place positively gleams. It has a wall size mirror against the back wall, two sinks, and a tub big enough to throw a party in, among other things. Something about the room seems odd, though, and it takes me a few moments to figure it out. Finally, it hits me, but doesn't really sink in.

The room has no toilet. Huh. Now that I think about it, I haven't used the bathroom since before I died. I haven't even felt the need to go. Come to think of it, I haven't paid attention to anything from that area. Slowly, ever so slowly, it dawns on me.

My pants go from buckled with a belt to around my ankles in 2.67 seconds.

Squall

". . .come to think of it, we don't really do much. Basically we're sitting here, waiting for the day we can once again walk the Earth. Although, to be honest, I don't really see the point in it. Up here is so much better than down there, even with all the renovations and common lack of space. But if you really want, I'm sure you'll find something to do."

Hyne, this guy is almost as bad as Laguna. I have to admit though, at least Loki has a point in his ramblings, whereas my father just kind of . . .rambles.

Without warning, he throws an arm around my neck. Before I can shake him off, he grins at me lop sided. "Out of curiosity, did I hear my dear brother making plans to get laid this evening?"

. . .oh yeah, that. "Yes."

His face kinda scrunches up, like he's trying not to laugh. "I don't suppose he's checked out his piece lately, has he?"

"How would I know?"

He laughs. "Oh, this is excellent! You have no idea."

". . .What?"

He grins at me wickedly. "Okay, you're gonna love this. You remember earlier when Hyne was saying how gender was relative, that she wasn't male or female?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Well," he grins broader, "The same goes for Angels. For the most part, we retain our outward appearances, whether they be male or female, but below the belt, there's no distinction."

. . .I thought something felt a bit different. Strangely, the loss of my penis doesn't bother me too much. Seifer, on the other hand. . .I find myself starting to smirk at Loki. He nods, the two of us on exactly the same wavelength.

At that moment, the door crashes open inwards, and a panicked Seifer runs out to throw Loki against the wall.

"You, it, how, what. . .what did you do to me?!"

Loki smiles benignly. "Sorry, I don't speak gibberish."

Seifer brings Loki close, then slams him into the wall. "My penis! What did you do with my fucking dick?"

A group of about five blue winged Angels walk towards us, then stop and stare oddly at Seifer. With a collective shrug raise their eyebrows at each other and keep walking. I watch them leave, incredibly amused, as Loki tries not to laugh.

"I'm telling you, I didn't do anything to you. Now if you'll put me down. . ."

"Oh, I'll fucking put you down, I'll put you down where the sun don't fucking shine!"

"Ooh, well sooorry, Mister Comeback King. I'll be sure to send a postcard."

"Loki, I'm so damn serious it's not even funny. . ."

"You know, actually it kinda is, once you think about it."

Well, he has a point, even if Seifer doesn't see it. He drops Loki, not very gently, onto the ground, and then storms back into our room, not even bothering to look at me.

Loki stands, rubbing his neck. "Hyne, you've lived with that for seventeen years? I'm sorry."

I shrug, but before I can answer, Seifer yells, "HYNE! SHUT THE FUCK UP!", and then there's a huge crash. The song immediately ceases.

Loki raises his eyebrows, eyes wide, and then turns back to me. "Wow. You think you can handle that for the rest of eternity?"

I scoff. "He's been neutered. There will be no living with him for the next century."

Loki laughs and shakes his head. "True, true. Well, I need to go get some work done. My boys at the office put together this huge scam. It's my job to distract Hyne so they can carry it out."

I frown. "Scam?"

He smirks. "Yup. See, we get kinda bored up here. So one day Lars, you don't know him, says, 'hey, guys, I put together this list of ten commandments. Why don't we give them to some idiot on Earth and see what happens?' So of course we all thought it would be funny, especially since Lars has this really godly voice he can use. They're not bad, actually. Just stuff like 'Thou shall not commit adultery' so on so forth. Anyways, gotta go. See ya."

And with a wave, he's off. I watch him as he leaves, shaking my head. This guy is a bigger moron than his brother.

I walk back into the room, noting all the crap that's in there. I'll have to get rid of half of it later, especially with Seifer around.

The stereo lies on the floor in two pieces, yet still manages to say, "good afternoon, Master Leonhart."

Seifer growls, "don't you even fucking start", from his sprawled position on the couch, at which the radio gives a despondent sigh. I don't even want to know.

I sit on the opposite end of Seifer's couch, then have to reposition myself a couple times to accommodate for the wings. Seifer laughs breathily, then sighs. When I don't comment, he sighs louder, and in my direct direction.

With a roll of my eyes, I give in. ". . .What?"

"Ya know, you still owe me a rematch from when you scarred me."

I stare at him, incredulous. "I scarred you?"

He points between his eyes. "You were the one with the blade. So, when can we do it?"

"You're thinking of this right now?"

He sighs, then begins counting a list of grievances on his fingers. "I died because some stupid bitch decided it would be fun to rule the world, I woke up to Loki, you decided to punch me in the face when you saw me, my funeral sucked, nobody likes me, you have black wings, I'm stuck as your secretary, the only woman I've ever thought of fucking turned out to be my mom, I grew up in an orphanage, you scarred my face, and then Hyne, damn her to hell, took my penis. She took. My. Penis. I think I'm entitled." He stares at me self righteously.

I lean back into the couch and groan.

This is going to be one hell of a long eternity.

plplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplpl

Random Reader: What?! All that waiting, all the reading, all that crap, and NO LEMON?! WHAT?!

B.S.: (points) Blame Loki. It was him. (innocent stare)

Random Reader: . . .GAH! grabs B.S. by the throat and squeezes tight

B.S.: 0.0

Okay, in all seriousness. I decided that I suck at lemons, so, I figured instead of torturing myself (and you guys) by writing one, I'd torture Seifer by neutering him ,- I know, I'm horrible. Please, kill me later.

Also, about Rinoa. No, she didn't die, and nothing horrible physically happened to her. My reasoning? Come on, the two men she cared for the most are both dead! How would you feel? Admit it, you would be crushed! Traumatized for life! So, let's all assume she went crazy with grief and lived out a long lonely life in some asylum. There, happy? Good.

I tried to make Squall have a sad death. Squall figured that he was dead, so it wouldn't matter, and refused to be a drama queen. Blame him.

For those of you who want to bitch about my slowness, here's a statstic for ya: one and a half years, eleven chapters. So that's about a chapter every month and half to two months. I should be ashamed of myself.

Another note: Blame 's quick edit piece of crap. It deletes a ton of the symbols, so I'll have to fix it once it's really working -.-

Anyways, thanks for hanging this far : ) I really appreciate it .- Now, how about you go read a real story? Get some standards people! Come on!