A/N: Sorry for the incredible amount of inside jokes in this "chapter", but Laura's been begging to guest-star again and I know she wouldn't let up on me 'till I wrote this. Too bad for you!
Chapter 17: Laura (Most Certainly) Loves Sirius Black More Than She Loves Dr. Evil, Even Though Dr. Evil Was a PRISONER (and not just in jail) and Sirius…Was, Too, but Dr. Evil's Incarceration Was More or Less Recent. Or Something.
"Hellooooo, Sirius," Laura-who-you-don't-know-but-I-do said in a very annoying voice that she reserved for use with prisoners (and Sirius Black, apparently). "How've you been?"
"…Alriiiiight," Sirius replied, eyeing the girl paranoid-ly. He was feeling so paranoid, in fact, that the author had to invent a new word to describe the extent of said paranoia.
"Have you met my friend, Dr. Evil?" Laura asked poor Sirius. "He went to evil medical school, you know."
"Yes, I did," the not-so-inscrutable doctor agreed, "but I'm not your friend, Lesley."
"It's Laura," Laura replied.
"No, it's not," Dr. Evil said. "What's your name again, dog-man-thing?"
"Sirius," Sirius responded, trying not to stare at the crazy bald man. "Sirius Black."
"Is he evil?" Dr. Evil asked Laura.
"No, he's not, actually," Laura said, a bit too proudly. "He's good."
"How do you know that I'm good?" Sirius asked sleazily, completely walking into the author's perverted joke.
"I have my ways," Laura winked.
"Hey, now," Dr. Evil complained, "stop with the thinly-veiled sexual banter. I may have a small amount of mojo now, but that doesn't mean I want to listen to you two freaks talking about…that."
"You're supposed to let me talk about whatever I want to," Laura sneered. "This is my chapter, not yours."
"How 'bout no," Dr. Evil snapped. "I'm out." And then- "I have henceforth sworn revenge on Ellen, the author of this abomination." And, finally, he really left.
"That 'evil medical school' must've messed with that guy's mind," Sirius muttered.
"Tell me about it," Laura agreed. "What a freak."
Little did Sirius know that Laura was lying to herself about her feelings concerning Dr. Evil…