Author's Note: ::wow:: That was a quick update (there's the answer your
question, Omni Dragon!) This is more of a serious chapter than a humorous
one. So, whatever, bear with me.
Disclaimer: I don't own LoD or the Eastsiders or Jeeves or Benson, but I do "own" the phrase "Your Mayorness"
Chapter 13: You Got Jacked!
Wesley: I guess Jimbo isn't here --
Me: Thank you, Mr Obvious
Wesley: You're welcome.
Boberto: I don't believe that Joel would lie to us, especially on his death bed
Timoty: I would
Ania: Can someone PLEASE tell me what happened in the bar?
Wesley: I told ya -- you really don't wanna know. Just get over it.
Me: There's more to Tiberoa than Fletz. Across the Barrens is Donau, the Flower City. He might be there.
Guys: Flower City? How fruity.
(And we leave Fletz [much to the pleasure of that one Officer] and we pass through the Barrens.)
Ania: What a God-awful place! I better get a decent tan here
All: *rolls eyes*
???: Hey, look guys...we got some visitors *evil laugh*
All: What the hell...??
(We look up and c-walking all over the overpass is a Chinese freshman wearing a bright yellow baseball cap [backwards] and next to him are two of his minions)
Yellow Hat: Yeeeessss...my minons....
Boberto: Great, this gets better and better....lemme guess, you're White Chocolate #2?
Me: But, he's not white....
Yellow Hat: No way, bitch! My gangsta name is Yellow Hat *c-walks on the overpass*
Ania: Gangsta?
Yellow Hat: *evil laugh* Look at this, minions!! Seems like she hasn't heard of the mas famoso Eastsiders Gang!
Timoty: Now you speak Spanish?
Yellow Hat: So what if I do?
Boberto: Eastsiders? Isn't that the name of a Snoop Dogg CD?
Snoop Dogg: Fo shizzel my nizzel bizizzel
All: Riiiiiiight...
Yellow Hat: I don't give a f*ck. It's still the name of our gang!
Wesley: Enough with the talk! What do you want, Yellow Hat?
Yellow Hat: Well, you crackers be intruding on our territory...and NO ONE gets passed without paying the fee! *C-walks again*
Wesley: How much?
Yellow Hat: *consults with his minions* Well, you can get off free if....you leave the bimbos here with us
Me: WHAT?! *Draws sword* You wanna get you're c-walking ass down here and say that to my face?!
The rest of us: *draws weapons*
Boberto: Just, let us pass and no one will get hurt
Yellow Hat: Argh! I'm totally pissed!! [Direct quote]
All: .....
Yellow Hat: Minions! Take care of them! *Jumps off the overpass*
*Screen dissolves, battle begins*
(Quite the unexpected battle, isn't it? There's not much to this battle: attack the two crafty theives [the "minons"] first, cuz if you attack Mappi/Yellow Hat first, then he'll disappear after a couple of turns [I think]. Also, the stupid theives will steal G or items from us, but then we kill them and they "give it back" But, like the battle with the snake in the Limestone Cave, it doesn't really matter what happened during the battle -- what happens AFTER is the important part)
(So, this is the part where Wesley stands over the cowering Yellow Hat -- one of the few times Wesley gets to look masculine and powerful)
Wesley: What do you mean few?
(Did I stutter? You know what I said)
Yellow Hat: HEY! Remember me?
Wesley: Oh yeah....*walks over to Yellow Hat, looking very masculine and powerful, and raises sword*
Yellow Hat: *on his knees* Wait! Wait a minute! Please, please don't kill me....I -- I can change!
Wesley: Really?
Yellow Hat *looks up evily* Psyche.
(Suddenly, Yellow Hat lunges at Wesley, knocking him off balance. A flash of red falls from Wesley's pocket and Yellow Hat quickly retrieves it. While he examined the object, the five of us realize that Yellow Hat stole Wesley's Dragoon Spirit!)
Readers: *gasp* Noooo!
(Wesley scrambled to get up and I raced to Yellow Hat. I tackled the annoying little kid and slashed at him with my rapier to try and get back the Spirit. It was all in vain though -- he dodged every one of my blows and quickly ran off into the Barrens)
Me: Dammit! *Throws down rapier in frustration*
Wesley: Shit....now what?!
Boberto: Should we go after that little bastard?
Me: No -- I mean, the Spirit is very important but we dunno where he went. It's probably safer to continue on to Donau...maybe someone there either knows the location of Jimbo or Yellow Hat and the Eastsiders.
(Feeling defeated and incompetent -- )
Me: I am NOT incompetent!
( -- we leave the Barrens)
~ ~ ~
(In Donau, a young woman daintly washes her hands in the nearby well. Her long blond hair is pulled back in a low pony-tail and her clothes are unseasonably warm for the climate of Tiberoa. She is approached by three crude gangstas)
Gangsta 1: Well, hello pretty lady
Third Sacred Sister Katherine: Um...hello..?
Gangsta 2: How would you like to come for a ride with us?
SS Katherine: Uh, no thank you *starts to leave*
Gangsta 3: *blocks her path* No, I don't think you understand...that wasn't a request
Gangsta 2: Hey, aren't you a Sacred Sister *evil laugh* Look, homiez! We are in the presence of the mas famosa Sacred Sister of Mille Seseau!
All gangstas: *mockily bows*
SS Katherine: C-can I go now?
Gangsta 1: You know, she might fetch a nice fortune if we SELL her *evil laugh*
(Now Katherine is REALLY scared -- well, wouldn't you be if some strange guys threatened to sell you into slavery or possibly prostitution? Yeah, I thought you might say that. Oh look, someone's coming out of the item shop!)
SS Katherine: Oh! Please help me sir! Please!
Gangsta 3: Yo, dawg if you know what's good for you, you'll leave the lady to us!
Man: Oh, excuse me please continue
All: ???
Man: *draws sword* If you want to die.
Gangstas: wtf? You challenging us?!
(One of the gangstas charged at the man with a knife...he's not a very smart one. The man magically produced an energy shield to block the gangsta's attack, knocking the gangsta out cold.)
Gangstas 1&2: Damn! We out! *Leaves*
SS Katherine: Oh, thank you for saving me! How can I repay you?!
Man: Just leave me alone. *Begins to leave*
SS Katherine: Can I at least get your name?
Jimbo: It's Jimbo
[Oh, c'mon! Don't tell me you didn't see that one coming]
SS Katherine: Well, thank you Mr Jimbo
~ ~ ~
(Now, we enter Donau)
Timoty: Geez, you think they get enough of flowers
Guys: Told ya this was a fruity city
Wesley: Dammit, no Jimbo!
Me: Chill out. You think you would run into him the minute you arrived in town?
Wesley: Well, yes
Me: *rubs temples* Baby steps...
Little Girl: W-welcome to Donau th-the Flower C-city...
Boberto: What's wrong? You got a stuttering problem or what?
Little Girl: ....please don't hurt me
Wesley: OH! You think we're Eastsiders! Haha, don't worry, we're not gangstas
Me: I'm surprised you caught on so fast
Little Girl: Oh my gosh, I'm so relieved! Well, with that, then welcome to Donau! Enjoy your stay *skips away*
Ania: I guess we are a little dirty....
Me: What does that have anything to do with anything?
Ania: I'm just saying....
Wesley: Why don't we go find a place to go wash up?
(We wander Donau for a bit, noticing the Eastsider pest problem that the town had -- there were about as much gangstas in Donau as flowers! Again, we walk into a random house...but thankfully, we did not find a hick with a shotgun in the house -- we found a teen girl crying angrily at the foot of her bed)
Tanya: Josh, you bastard! How could you leave me?! And we were about to get married....
Me: Sounds like a personal problem to me...
Tanya: *wipes eyes* I didn't realized I had company -- oh, it's you guys!
(When Tanya, a freshman who goes to our school, realized who we were, she quickly jumped up and gave big hugs to me, Ania, Boberto, and Timoty. Even though she doesn't know Wesley, she still gave him a hug just cuz he felt left out [that's just how she is] )
Me: Tanya, what were you crying about? Why did Josh leave you?
Boberto: Idiot
Tanya: Oh, no it's not like break-up leaving...it's worse....Josh went to the Valley of Corrupted Gravity!
All: Where?
Tanya: Josh got sick of the Eastsiders infesting our town, so he went to the Valley of Corrupted Gravity -- the Eastsiders' hideout -- to try and force the gang out of town! But I TOLD him that he can't reason with the gang! Plus, I'm more likely to force them out than HE is!
Ania: Yeah, little miss soccer star, that kick of yours is pretty lethal
Wesley: When did Josh leave?
Tanya: I went to run some errands this morning and he was gone before I got back -- he left me this letter explaining everything *hands Wesley the letter*
Wesley: *intentively reads the letter* Well, what do you want me to do with it?
Tanya: Could you guys take it to the mayor? He's Josh's dad! He lives just across town!
Me: We'll get Josh back for you
Tanya: You will?! Oh, thank you! *Hugs all*
(Once we leave Tanya's house...)
Timoty: That was a loaded promise you gave Tanya
Wesley: Yeah, what about Jimbo? And my Dragoon Spirit?
Me: Calm down, boys....if we go to the Valley of Corrupted Gravity and confront the gang, then it'll lead us right to you're Dragoon Spirit.
Wesley: Ooooooohhhhh....
Me: See, I told ya I was smart
Ania: Alright, smart one, what about Jimbo?
Me: We can figure that out later. Let's go see the mayor.
(And so we, uh...go see the mayor. ::wow::)
Butler: *in a snobbing, British accent* May I help you?
Wesley: We hafta see the mayor
Butler: I'm sorry chaps, it is impossible for you to see the mayor. He is very preoccupied at the moment. His son has recently disappeared.
Me: Yeah. We know. That's why we're here.
Wesley: Yeah, we got his letter here *hands him the letter*
Butler: *reads the letter* Oh, yes yes, come in. Your Mayorness, sir...
All: Mayorness....??
[Yes I made up a word. Got a problem with that? *Prepares the lightening bolts*]
All: No. Of course not
[Thought so]
Mayor: Yes, Jeeves?
Boberto: Is that seriously his name?
Maynor: Haha, no no I just like to tease him like that....isn't that right Benson?
Butler: ugh...Yes...but, sir, these young people have a letter from your son, Josh.
Mayor: What?! *Reads letter* Damn! It's been six months since this damn gang arrived, and FINALLY someone takes action....but, why does it have to be MY son?!
Butler: Your language, sir!
Mayor: Oh shut your pretentious ass!
All: _- That's harsh
Mayor: So sorry, I'm just...so worried about Josh!
Butler: Understandable. I suggest we gather the city's troops and send them after Josh.
Me: Well that's stupid. Who'll protect the town then?
Wesley: Tina's right --
Me: Of course I am....you guys are slow learners, aren't you?
Wesley: Um, riiight....we'll go after Josh
Mayor: But, the Valley of Corrupted Gravity is very dangerous...no one comes out alive! Oh, god...
Wesley: I think we can take care of ourselves.
Mayor: Well, you have to go and get premission from King Zior to go there anyways.
Timoty: So it's back to Fletz with us, eh?
Me: Oh, yeah the police force there will LOVE that....
Ania: Don't worry, we'll bring Josh back alive.
Mayor: I hope so....show them the door, Butler
Boberto: It's quite alright, we can see the door just fine *all leave*
(And now we're walking down the stairs, ready to leave Donau until....)
???: HEY!!! Alky!!! You mind taking you're hand off my ass?!?!
All: Who the f*ck....
Wesley: Ah, HELL no!!
(So who exactly screamed the word "alky?" And what exactly does the word "alky" mean? Haha, you hafta wait till I post the next chapter!!!)
Me: Dammit, I hate cliff hangers.
Disclaimer: I don't own LoD or the Eastsiders or Jeeves or Benson, but I do "own" the phrase "Your Mayorness"
Chapter 13: You Got Jacked!
Wesley: I guess Jimbo isn't here --
Me: Thank you, Mr Obvious
Wesley: You're welcome.
Boberto: I don't believe that Joel would lie to us, especially on his death bed
Timoty: I would
Ania: Can someone PLEASE tell me what happened in the bar?
Wesley: I told ya -- you really don't wanna know. Just get over it.
Me: There's more to Tiberoa than Fletz. Across the Barrens is Donau, the Flower City. He might be there.
Guys: Flower City? How fruity.
(And we leave Fletz [much to the pleasure of that one Officer] and we pass through the Barrens.)
Ania: What a God-awful place! I better get a decent tan here
All: *rolls eyes*
???: Hey, look guys...we got some visitors *evil laugh*
All: What the hell...??
(We look up and c-walking all over the overpass is a Chinese freshman wearing a bright yellow baseball cap [backwards] and next to him are two of his minions)
Yellow Hat: Yeeeessss...my minons....
Boberto: Great, this gets better and better....lemme guess, you're White Chocolate #2?
Me: But, he's not white....
Yellow Hat: No way, bitch! My gangsta name is Yellow Hat *c-walks on the overpass*
Ania: Gangsta?
Yellow Hat: *evil laugh* Look at this, minions!! Seems like she hasn't heard of the mas famoso Eastsiders Gang!
Timoty: Now you speak Spanish?
Yellow Hat: So what if I do?
Boberto: Eastsiders? Isn't that the name of a Snoop Dogg CD?
Snoop Dogg: Fo shizzel my nizzel bizizzel
All: Riiiiiiight...
Yellow Hat: I don't give a f*ck. It's still the name of our gang!
Wesley: Enough with the talk! What do you want, Yellow Hat?
Yellow Hat: Well, you crackers be intruding on our territory...and NO ONE gets passed without paying the fee! *C-walks again*
Wesley: How much?
Yellow Hat: *consults with his minions* Well, you can get off free if....you leave the bimbos here with us
Me: WHAT?! *Draws sword* You wanna get you're c-walking ass down here and say that to my face?!
The rest of us: *draws weapons*
Boberto: Just, let us pass and no one will get hurt
Yellow Hat: Argh! I'm totally pissed!! [Direct quote]
All: .....
Yellow Hat: Minions! Take care of them! *Jumps off the overpass*
*Screen dissolves, battle begins*
(Quite the unexpected battle, isn't it? There's not much to this battle: attack the two crafty theives [the "minons"] first, cuz if you attack Mappi/Yellow Hat first, then he'll disappear after a couple of turns [I think]. Also, the stupid theives will steal G or items from us, but then we kill them and they "give it back" But, like the battle with the snake in the Limestone Cave, it doesn't really matter what happened during the battle -- what happens AFTER is the important part)
(So, this is the part where Wesley stands over the cowering Yellow Hat -- one of the few times Wesley gets to look masculine and powerful)
Wesley: What do you mean few?
(Did I stutter? You know what I said)
Yellow Hat: HEY! Remember me?
Wesley: Oh yeah....*walks over to Yellow Hat, looking very masculine and powerful, and raises sword*
Yellow Hat: *on his knees* Wait! Wait a minute! Please, please don't kill me....I -- I can change!
Wesley: Really?
Yellow Hat *looks up evily* Psyche.
(Suddenly, Yellow Hat lunges at Wesley, knocking him off balance. A flash of red falls from Wesley's pocket and Yellow Hat quickly retrieves it. While he examined the object, the five of us realize that Yellow Hat stole Wesley's Dragoon Spirit!)
Readers: *gasp* Noooo!
(Wesley scrambled to get up and I raced to Yellow Hat. I tackled the annoying little kid and slashed at him with my rapier to try and get back the Spirit. It was all in vain though -- he dodged every one of my blows and quickly ran off into the Barrens)
Me: Dammit! *Throws down rapier in frustration*
Wesley: Shit....now what?!
Boberto: Should we go after that little bastard?
Me: No -- I mean, the Spirit is very important but we dunno where he went. It's probably safer to continue on to Donau...maybe someone there either knows the location of Jimbo or Yellow Hat and the Eastsiders.
(Feeling defeated and incompetent -- )
Me: I am NOT incompetent!
( -- we leave the Barrens)
~ ~ ~
(In Donau, a young woman daintly washes her hands in the nearby well. Her long blond hair is pulled back in a low pony-tail and her clothes are unseasonably warm for the climate of Tiberoa. She is approached by three crude gangstas)
Gangsta 1: Well, hello pretty lady
Third Sacred Sister Katherine: Um...hello..?
Gangsta 2: How would you like to come for a ride with us?
SS Katherine: Uh, no thank you *starts to leave*
Gangsta 3: *blocks her path* No, I don't think you understand...that wasn't a request
Gangsta 2: Hey, aren't you a Sacred Sister *evil laugh* Look, homiez! We are in the presence of the mas famosa Sacred Sister of Mille Seseau!
All gangstas: *mockily bows*
SS Katherine: C-can I go now?
Gangsta 1: You know, she might fetch a nice fortune if we SELL her *evil laugh*
(Now Katherine is REALLY scared -- well, wouldn't you be if some strange guys threatened to sell you into slavery or possibly prostitution? Yeah, I thought you might say that. Oh look, someone's coming out of the item shop!)
SS Katherine: Oh! Please help me sir! Please!
Gangsta 3: Yo, dawg if you know what's good for you, you'll leave the lady to us!
Man: Oh, excuse me please continue
All: ???
Man: *draws sword* If you want to die.
Gangstas: wtf? You challenging us?!
(One of the gangstas charged at the man with a knife...he's not a very smart one. The man magically produced an energy shield to block the gangsta's attack, knocking the gangsta out cold.)
Gangstas 1&2: Damn! We out! *Leaves*
SS Katherine: Oh, thank you for saving me! How can I repay you?!
Man: Just leave me alone. *Begins to leave*
SS Katherine: Can I at least get your name?
Jimbo: It's Jimbo
[Oh, c'mon! Don't tell me you didn't see that one coming]
SS Katherine: Well, thank you Mr Jimbo
~ ~ ~
(Now, we enter Donau)
Timoty: Geez, you think they get enough of flowers
Guys: Told ya this was a fruity city
Wesley: Dammit, no Jimbo!
Me: Chill out. You think you would run into him the minute you arrived in town?
Wesley: Well, yes
Me: *rubs temples* Baby steps...
Little Girl: W-welcome to Donau th-the Flower C-city...
Boberto: What's wrong? You got a stuttering problem or what?
Little Girl: ....please don't hurt me
Wesley: OH! You think we're Eastsiders! Haha, don't worry, we're not gangstas
Me: I'm surprised you caught on so fast
Little Girl: Oh my gosh, I'm so relieved! Well, with that, then welcome to Donau! Enjoy your stay *skips away*
Ania: I guess we are a little dirty....
Me: What does that have anything to do with anything?
Ania: I'm just saying....
Wesley: Why don't we go find a place to go wash up?
(We wander Donau for a bit, noticing the Eastsider pest problem that the town had -- there were about as much gangstas in Donau as flowers! Again, we walk into a random house...but thankfully, we did not find a hick with a shotgun in the house -- we found a teen girl crying angrily at the foot of her bed)
Tanya: Josh, you bastard! How could you leave me?! And we were about to get married....
Me: Sounds like a personal problem to me...
Tanya: *wipes eyes* I didn't realized I had company -- oh, it's you guys!
(When Tanya, a freshman who goes to our school, realized who we were, she quickly jumped up and gave big hugs to me, Ania, Boberto, and Timoty. Even though she doesn't know Wesley, she still gave him a hug just cuz he felt left out [that's just how she is] )
Me: Tanya, what were you crying about? Why did Josh leave you?
Boberto: Idiot
Tanya: Oh, no it's not like break-up leaving...it's worse....Josh went to the Valley of Corrupted Gravity!
All: Where?
Tanya: Josh got sick of the Eastsiders infesting our town, so he went to the Valley of Corrupted Gravity -- the Eastsiders' hideout -- to try and force the gang out of town! But I TOLD him that he can't reason with the gang! Plus, I'm more likely to force them out than HE is!
Ania: Yeah, little miss soccer star, that kick of yours is pretty lethal
Wesley: When did Josh leave?
Tanya: I went to run some errands this morning and he was gone before I got back -- he left me this letter explaining everything *hands Wesley the letter*
Wesley: *intentively reads the letter* Well, what do you want me to do with it?
Tanya: Could you guys take it to the mayor? He's Josh's dad! He lives just across town!
Me: We'll get Josh back for you
Tanya: You will?! Oh, thank you! *Hugs all*
(Once we leave Tanya's house...)
Timoty: That was a loaded promise you gave Tanya
Wesley: Yeah, what about Jimbo? And my Dragoon Spirit?
Me: Calm down, boys....if we go to the Valley of Corrupted Gravity and confront the gang, then it'll lead us right to you're Dragoon Spirit.
Wesley: Ooooooohhhhh....
Me: See, I told ya I was smart
Ania: Alright, smart one, what about Jimbo?
Me: We can figure that out later. Let's go see the mayor.
(And so we, uh...go see the mayor. ::wow::)
Butler: *in a snobbing, British accent* May I help you?
Wesley: We hafta see the mayor
Butler: I'm sorry chaps, it is impossible for you to see the mayor. He is very preoccupied at the moment. His son has recently disappeared.
Me: Yeah. We know. That's why we're here.
Wesley: Yeah, we got his letter here *hands him the letter*
Butler: *reads the letter* Oh, yes yes, come in. Your Mayorness, sir...
All: Mayorness....??
[Yes I made up a word. Got a problem with that? *Prepares the lightening bolts*]
All: No. Of course not
[Thought so]
Mayor: Yes, Jeeves?
Boberto: Is that seriously his name?
Maynor: Haha, no no I just like to tease him like that....isn't that right Benson?
Butler: ugh...Yes...but, sir, these young people have a letter from your son, Josh.
Mayor: What?! *Reads letter* Damn! It's been six months since this damn gang arrived, and FINALLY someone takes action....but, why does it have to be MY son?!
Butler: Your language, sir!
Mayor: Oh shut your pretentious ass!
All: _- That's harsh
Mayor: So sorry, I'm just...so worried about Josh!
Butler: Understandable. I suggest we gather the city's troops and send them after Josh.
Me: Well that's stupid. Who'll protect the town then?
Wesley: Tina's right --
Me: Of course I am....you guys are slow learners, aren't you?
Wesley: Um, riiight....we'll go after Josh
Mayor: But, the Valley of Corrupted Gravity is very dangerous...no one comes out alive! Oh, god...
Wesley: I think we can take care of ourselves.
Mayor: Well, you have to go and get premission from King Zior to go there anyways.
Timoty: So it's back to Fletz with us, eh?
Me: Oh, yeah the police force there will LOVE that....
Ania: Don't worry, we'll bring Josh back alive.
Mayor: I hope so....show them the door, Butler
Boberto: It's quite alright, we can see the door just fine *all leave*
(And now we're walking down the stairs, ready to leave Donau until....)
???: HEY!!! Alky!!! You mind taking you're hand off my ass?!?!
All: Who the f*ck....
Wesley: Ah, HELL no!!
(So who exactly screamed the word "alky?" And what exactly does the word "alky" mean? Haha, you hafta wait till I post the next chapter!!!)
Me: Dammit, I hate cliff hangers.