I woke the next morning to find that I had fallen asleep next to
Christine. I stood up slowly so as not to wake her and went out into the
main room. Moments later, the door from the lake opened and the Daroga
walked in.
I rolled my eyes and cocked an eyebrow. "What do you want Daroga?" I asked sharply.
He sighed. "Good morning to you too Erik. I've heard an interesting story involving you and Mademoiselle Daae. Is she here?"
"What would give you that idea Daroga?" I questioned sarcastically.
"Erik please, what did you do?" He glared at me inquiringly and I stared back.
"What have you heard that I did?" I asked.
"I heard that you went to a hotel in Versailles and kidnapped Christine," he stated.
"That's not entirely true." The Daroga and I both whipped around to look at Christine who was walking out of her bedroom.
"Good morning Christine," I said and walked to her. I took her hands and kissed her lightly then turned back to the Daroga. "You see Nadir, what you heard is not true."
"Indeed," he stated. He directed his attention to Christine. "Mademoiselle, you know you do not have to be here. I can take you back to Versailles if you would like."
"Daroga! Do you think I am deaf?! Or do you simply have a death wish?!" I yelled. I made sure to speak in Farsi- a language I was sure the Daroga knew but Christine did not- so that she would not hear my threats.
He responded in the same way. "Erik you have to give her a choice. You can't force her to stay with you."
"I gave her a choice before Daroga and you know how that ended up!" I shouted. I glanced at Christine. She looked utterly perplexed by our sudden change in language. I switched briefly back so that she could understand me. "Christine you may have a seat if you like."
"Thank you Erik," she replied and sat down on the divan.
I went back to the Daroga and his native language. "What do you want from me Nadir? You want me to suffer?" I asked.
"I don't want you to suffer Erik, I simply want you to be rational," he stated.
I poured myself and Christine a glass of wine and retorted, "I'm being perfectly rational Daroga. Would you like some?"
"No thank you Erik, please don't change the subject. You cannot force her to stay here," he said.
"I can Daroga, and I will if I have to. Maybe she'll just decide to stay on her own. Maybe she wants to be with me," I stated.
"Have you asked her if she wants to be with you?" he questioned.
I glared at him coldly. "Christine," she looked up at me, "do you want to stay with me? Would you be happy here with me?"
She sighed softly. A worried expression crossed my face. I glanced at the Daroga who still had the same businesslike expression on his face as when he first came in. "Erik I don't know how to explain this to you. I love you, but I don't know how," she told me.
"What? I don't understand," I replied.
"I don't know how to love you Erik," she repeated.
I gaped at her, momentarily lost for words. "Love me just as you would love anyone else! I'm no different!" I exclaimed.
"Yes Erik, you are. I love you but I fear you at the same time. One moment you say you love me and the next you curse at me and I fear for myself. How can I love you if you can't even love yourself?"
I stared at her in astonishment. Everything she said was true. I didn't love myself. I never had and I never would, but I loved her more than anything. The cruel unfairness of it all was that she loved me. She said it herself. She loved me but she could not love me.
"So you won't stay with me?" I asked.
"No Erik, I can't," she answered softly.
"But Christine, in Versailles! In Versailles you said- you said you would stay with me!" I cried.
She sighed again. "You don't understand Erik. If I stay here I would be lying to you. I can't love you like you want me to."
"You could learn to, couldn't you?" I was practically begging now. I needed her with me. I took her hands and held kissed them. "Please Christine, I-I need you."
She closed her eyes and a single tear ran down her cheek. I wiped it away and sat next to her on the divan. "Do you want me to answer now Erik?" she asked.
"No Christine, you don't have to answer now. Perhaps you should rest some more," I said. She nodded and I took her hand and led her to her room. Once she was sleeping again, I went back out to the Daroga. I sat down on the divan again and put my head in my hands. "She's going to leave me again Daroga."
"She might Erik, but at least you gave her a choice. You want her to be happy don't you?" he questioned.
"More than anything," I replied. "Couldn't she learn to be happy with me?"
"If she thinks she can then maybe she will stay," he answered.
"I hope so Daroga," I stated.
"I know Erik. I know."
I rolled my eyes and cocked an eyebrow. "What do you want Daroga?" I asked sharply.
He sighed. "Good morning to you too Erik. I've heard an interesting story involving you and Mademoiselle Daae. Is she here?"
"What would give you that idea Daroga?" I questioned sarcastically.
"Erik please, what did you do?" He glared at me inquiringly and I stared back.
"What have you heard that I did?" I asked.
"I heard that you went to a hotel in Versailles and kidnapped Christine," he stated.
"That's not entirely true." The Daroga and I both whipped around to look at Christine who was walking out of her bedroom.
"Good morning Christine," I said and walked to her. I took her hands and kissed her lightly then turned back to the Daroga. "You see Nadir, what you heard is not true."
"Indeed," he stated. He directed his attention to Christine. "Mademoiselle, you know you do not have to be here. I can take you back to Versailles if you would like."
"Daroga! Do you think I am deaf?! Or do you simply have a death wish?!" I yelled. I made sure to speak in Farsi- a language I was sure the Daroga knew but Christine did not- so that she would not hear my threats.
He responded in the same way. "Erik you have to give her a choice. You can't force her to stay with you."
"I gave her a choice before Daroga and you know how that ended up!" I shouted. I glanced at Christine. She looked utterly perplexed by our sudden change in language. I switched briefly back so that she could understand me. "Christine you may have a seat if you like."
"Thank you Erik," she replied and sat down on the divan.
I went back to the Daroga and his native language. "What do you want from me Nadir? You want me to suffer?" I asked.
"I don't want you to suffer Erik, I simply want you to be rational," he stated.
I poured myself and Christine a glass of wine and retorted, "I'm being perfectly rational Daroga. Would you like some?"
"No thank you Erik, please don't change the subject. You cannot force her to stay here," he said.
"I can Daroga, and I will if I have to. Maybe she'll just decide to stay on her own. Maybe she wants to be with me," I stated.
"Have you asked her if she wants to be with you?" he questioned.
I glared at him coldly. "Christine," she looked up at me, "do you want to stay with me? Would you be happy here with me?"
She sighed softly. A worried expression crossed my face. I glanced at the Daroga who still had the same businesslike expression on his face as when he first came in. "Erik I don't know how to explain this to you. I love you, but I don't know how," she told me.
"What? I don't understand," I replied.
"I don't know how to love you Erik," she repeated.
I gaped at her, momentarily lost for words. "Love me just as you would love anyone else! I'm no different!" I exclaimed.
"Yes Erik, you are. I love you but I fear you at the same time. One moment you say you love me and the next you curse at me and I fear for myself. How can I love you if you can't even love yourself?"
I stared at her in astonishment. Everything she said was true. I didn't love myself. I never had and I never would, but I loved her more than anything. The cruel unfairness of it all was that she loved me. She said it herself. She loved me but she could not love me.
"So you won't stay with me?" I asked.
"No Erik, I can't," she answered softly.
"But Christine, in Versailles! In Versailles you said- you said you would stay with me!" I cried.
She sighed again. "You don't understand Erik. If I stay here I would be lying to you. I can't love you like you want me to."
"You could learn to, couldn't you?" I was practically begging now. I needed her with me. I took her hands and held kissed them. "Please Christine, I-I need you."
She closed her eyes and a single tear ran down her cheek. I wiped it away and sat next to her on the divan. "Do you want me to answer now Erik?" she asked.
"No Christine, you don't have to answer now. Perhaps you should rest some more," I said. She nodded and I took her hand and led her to her room. Once she was sleeping again, I went back out to the Daroga. I sat down on the divan again and put my head in my hands. "She's going to leave me again Daroga."
"She might Erik, but at least you gave her a choice. You want her to be happy don't you?" he questioned.
"More than anything," I replied. "Couldn't she learn to be happy with me?"
"If she thinks she can then maybe she will stay," he answered.
"I hope so Daroga," I stated.
"I know Erik. I know."