A/N: The Last Manly Man is real; I found it at the library book sale the other day. The (wo)man on the cover looked like a very muscular, semi-womanly Tarzan. I seriously couldn't tell his/her gender.
Scary, yes?
Chapter 24: Sirius Black and The Last Manly Man
"Hey, Prongs!" Sirius shouted across the library, running over to his friend. "Look what I found!" He held out a copy of a comic book-type thing to James.
"The Last Manly Man?" James read, sounding rather disturbed. "What the hell is this?"
"I dunno, mate," Sirius replied, "but the guy on the cover looks kind of like a manly chick, doesn't he?"
"Yeah!" Peter, who had been lurking behind James, chirped in. "I'd bang her, though."
"You're a sick man, Wormtail," James chuckled. "How 'bout you, Padfoot? Would you do her?"
"How do you know it's a her?" Sirius asked, stalling. "As I said before, she looks rather masculine."
"Yeah," Remus interjected, "but if she did happen to be a girl, would you do her?"
"Would you?" Sirius questioned.
"Stop stalling, Sirius!" James snapped. "Tell us – yes or no?" Sirius remained silent and began to blush.
"You already have, haven't you?" James smirked knowingly. "How the hell did that happen?"
"I was drunk!" Sirius insisted, embarrassed. "She looked like Angelina Jolie, what with the room spinning and all, so I-"
"Stop right there," Peter interrupted. "Too much information."
"Her voice sounded like my grandfather's," Sirius continued, oblivious to everyone's disgust. "She called me Frank."
Remus kicked him in the crotch, and the three friends left, leaving Sirius to his pain and freakish memories.