Author's Note: The first few "sections" are mainly for those who have
trouble beating Stacy/Lenus (I do too, sometimes). I don't know how
helpful these "tips" might be for ya, Luna, but I can try, right? And
seriously, Nikole really isn't that annoying in real life. You'd hafta
give her lots of alcohol to get her like that. This chapter is a chapter
where we all learn something about each other, so expect some seriousness
and long...ness....yeah, that's it.
Disclaimer: I don't own LoD or a new Mercedes or an MP3 player. Dammit.
Chapter 19: Sea Sickness
Wesley: Leif, clear everyone outta here!
*Screen dissolves, battle begins*
(And the king, princesses, and Tiberoan noblity fled the Chamber of the Sun like one would leave a burning night club, minus the rogue pyrotechnics. Now it was just the Dragoons, Nikole [the only one without a Spirit *tear*], and Stacy, who wielded two disc thingys, resembling the ones used by Xena the Warrior Princess. Her weapon wasn't the only thing that puzzled us)
Wesley: What the hell is that coming out of her back?!
Leroy: She's floating!
Me: Oh god, she's a Wingly.
(Usually I find her easier to beat if I get the first turn. Her attacks are the only ones that have actually killed me -- she'll attack you with her Xena-thingys and I swear she flips you off afterwards!)
Stacy: *flips us off*
All: WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?!
Stacy: *still flipping us off*
All: He wouldn't do that!!
(And she only uses items of the water or darkness element, but before she does she draws a strange character in the air)
All: ??? We're confuzzled...
Me: Didn't I say that she was a Wingly?
(So my strategy: if you die alot, then wait until she's in yellow and red before turning people into Dragoons. When you do, Rose's Astrail Drain works well and Dart's fire attacks do decent amounts of damage on her as well. Other than that, all I can say is attack and gets lots of healing items....but most of you care more about the plot than my advice, right? Then we continue...)
(After the battle, we cornered her on the balcony)
Stacy: You are....very strong....
Boberto: Then why aren't you DEAD?!
Me: Just hand over the Moon Dagger, and we won't kill you -- you'll just rot in jail *smile*
Stacy: I told you, I must deliver this to my love!
Wesley: You have no way to escape! Give us the Dagger!
Stacy: No way to escape, huh? Hey! You over there, in the blue! What do you think of that?
Nikole: *looks down at her feet* I...uh...well...um....
Stacy: Fine, if you're going to be like that...*jumps off the balcony*
(We think she's a goner, dead at the hands of the unforgiving ocean waves instead of us. But of course not -- she uses those things on her back to hover above the sea and balcony)
Stacy: Ciao! *Flys away*
*Enter Leif and Princesses*
Leif: What?! She's a Wingly?!
Me: I ALREADY SAID THAT TWO TIMES!!!
Wesley: I think I already know the answer to this, but....how did you know that Stacy's a Wingly?
Me: BECAUSE I KNOW EVERYTHING!!
All: We know.
Leif: It looks likes she's headed to Illisa Bay -- I'll get Commodore Skip --
All: Skip?
Leif: Skip -- I'll get her to prepare the Queen Fury so that you can patrol Illisa Bay looking for the Wingly. But first, can you explain all of this to me, I'm very confused.
Me: Aren't we all.
~ ~ ~
Leif: So let me get this straight -- Andrea fell and hit her head --
Andrea: I...guess so...
Leif: So the Wingly Stacy replaced her and pretended to be Andrea for six months.
All: Yes.
Me: I never knew that Winglies had the power to shape-shift.
Wesley: AHA!! Finally, something you DON'T know!!!
Me: Unlike you, who doesn't know anything.
Wesley: *blink blink* HEY! That's an insult --
Me: Did you figure that out all by yourself, or did Ania hafta help you with that one?
Wesley: AND ANOTHER ONE!! Ania, she doesn't get $50! HAHA!
Timoty: That didn't last long
Boberto: One chapter, that's better than I expected
Leroy: *ahem*
Boberto: Oh yeah *hands Leroy $5*
All: What?
Boberto: We bet against how long Tina would last not making fun of Wesley
Wesley: I feel...so unloved...
Timoty: Geez, Boberto, you even lose bets to the Giganto! You're really sad.
Boberto: *pushes Timoty*
Me: It's ok, I got a better offer *is handed $70 by Aerena* Thanks, Aer
Aerena: XD *leaves*
All: Where the hell did she come from?
Me and Leroy: *doing a little dance* WE IN DA MON-AY!
Leif: Um, back to me
Me: Geez, somebody's conceited
Leif: *ignore* During the six months that Stacy was impersonating Andrea, she made a deal with DJ Puppy Chow and the Eastsiders Gang to infest Tiberoa, as a distraction, I assume?
All: *nods* Makes sense
Leif: And now Stacy has stolen the Moon Dagger and you seven plan to fetch it.
All: Correct.
Leif: But I must warn you, there's been a Dragon roaming around Illisa Bay so this is actually the first time we've put the Queen Fury out to port in a long time
Me: It's okay, it's my first time too
All: *raised eyebrow*
Me: On a boat, I mean *cough* Ya....
Leif: Well, at least you got rid of our gang problem!
Nikole: Does that mean you'll give us another feast?!
Leif: No...you guys should get to Donau as soon as possible so you can catch the Wingly and get back our Moon Dagger.
All: Awww....
Andrea: Be careful, Boberto
Boberto: *blushes* Okay
Girls: Ooooooooooohhhh, Boberto's got a girl~friend *giggles*
(So we pass through the Barrens AGAIN and head to the port of Donau, where a huge wooden boat sat quietly in the waves. On deck, hoards of sailors who all look the same bustled about the ship.)
All: Wow...
Leroy: It's bigger than me!
Me: I'm getting sea sick just looking at it *covers my mouth*
(We spotted on the dock a teenaged boy with short brown hair wearing loose blue pants and a long-sleeved shirt, so he didn't look important enough to be the Commodore but at least he stood out. We then saw a girl standing next to him, her shoulder-length hair blowing in the ocean winds and hands proudly at her hips. Her outfit looked like she stole it from the set of "The Patriot" [minus those stupid three-corner hats] and she added a cape [which also blew in the ocean winds])
Skip: *deep inhale through the nose* Ya smell that, Ricky? It's the smell of the ocean!
Ricky: Yeah, I kinda figured that out already
Skip: *ignore* Ah, I love that smell, don't you? Makes me wanna go surfing...too bad you don't have any good waves in Tiberoa...*notices us* Oh, look! It's our special guests!
Dragoons: Hi
Skip: Lookie, guys! I got a promotion! Commodore of this really really big boat....and this is my first-mate, Ricky
Ricky: Hi
[Ricky is another person who goes to my church, but at least he's a good guy! That's one good Catholic for ya...and we've known Skip for a long time, too. She has the random, day-dreamy personality that Puler exhibits throughout the game]
Skip: So, we're going on an adventure to pursue a girl with wings?
Dragoons: Yup.
Skip: Yay! I haven't been on an adventure...ever... well, then we'd better get going! Wehehe... *skips happily onto the ship*
Ricky: Yeah...and I'm here to make sure that you guys are all ready for the trip. Are you ready?
Wesley: Yes.
Ricky: Alright then, *running onto the ship* CAST OFF!
Dragoons: *walk onto the ship calmly*
Me: This DOES come with barf bags, right?
Skip: *at the helm* Hmm...dunno, I'm sure we got some 'round here somewhere....if you can't find any, you can just use Ricky's boots -- they stink enough as is
Ricky: Hey, that was uncalled for! You know I have a condition...
Skip: Hahahahaha, I'm just kidding with ya, Ricky! *Whispers* But I really don't think you should advertise your "condition"
Ricky: *rolls eyes* Why I take this abuse, I don't know.
Skip: Enough chit-chat, the sea beckons! Onward, ho!
Sailor: Who you calling a ho?!
Skip: Huh? No! No, I'm not calling you a....what was I saying again?
Ricky: You called the sailor a "ho"
Skip: No I didn't!
Timoty: *rubbing his temples* This is going to be a looong trip
Me: I'm gunna be sick *races to the side of the ship*
Skip: Starboard side! STARBOARD SIDE!
Me: *races to the other side of the ship and barfs over the railing*
~ ~ ~
(Once we cast off and were miles away from the shore, our group separated and wandered to different parts of the ship. Ania was the only one that remained on the main deck, dreamily watching the birds fly across the sky)
Ania: *sigh* I wish I could just fly away and leave this place, just like you guys.
Bird 1: Oh great, another crazy woman who thinks we actually CARE about her problems
Bird 2: OMG!! A TALKING BIRD!! *Flys away*
Bird 1: That was strange...*flys away*
Ania: Ya, know I probably could fly away *holds up her Dragoon Spirit* But I still can't go home, we hafta finish this stupid video game first....Ya know, ever since we got pulled into this game, everyone's gone crazy on me! Wesley's on this weird pursuit of a Black Monster; Timoty's trying to find a daughter who's older than himself; Boberto's a king; Leroy's a freak of nature; Nikole has become a hyper slut; and Tina's gone all dark and mysterious! Not to mention I've been hearing voices...but that's totally normal, I'm not the crazy one. And now what are we doing -- we're on an overrated boat looking for one of Tina's church buddies and some guy that Tina's got the hots for! Why is it all about Tina?! Why can't it be all about me?! *Sigh* Maybe I can go bother Wesley, HE'LL pay attention to me...
Sailor: You DO realize that you were talking to yourself, right?
Ania: *ignore* Off to go look for Wesley...
(She found Wesley sitting in a desk next to Commodore Skip at the helm)
Ania: Wesley! I'm glad I found ya.
Wesley: Huh? Oh, hi Ania.
Ania: "Oh hi Ania"?! What kind of greeting is that?!
Wesley: Well, you kinda interuppted me while I was thinking...
Ania: Oh, THAT'S a rarity
Wesley: HEY! I can barely tolerate Tina insulting me, I don't need you to join her
Ania: Oh, it's ALL about TINA isn't it?! Is THAT who you were thinking about?!
Wesley: No, I was thinking of the Black Monster *growls* I WILL have my revenge...
Ania: *rolls eyes* Even better. Well, don't let ME stop you from thinking of a MONSTER *storms off*
Wesley: What the hell was that about?
Skip: Lover's spat. How cute....sorta....actually, that was a pretty nasty argument *shudders*
Wesley: What?
Skip: It's obvious that Ania wanted YOU to be thinking of HER instead of this monster thing... and Ania's feelings toward you are also overly obvious to every character except for you.
Wesley: What, her hatred?
Skip: Geez you're even more clueless than me....*deep inhale through the nose* I love the sea, don't you?
Wesley: Um...yeah....I'll be right back {since Tina knows EVERYTHING maybe she can help me with this Black Monster nonsence}
(Wesley went above deck to the crow's nest, where he found me staring into the horizon, still holding my hand over my mouth and nervously holding my stomach and tapping my foot)
Me: *muffled* I hate sailing...
Wesley: Tina?
Me: *back turned to him, still muffled* What?
Wesley: Aren't you gunna face me?
Me: *turns around, hand still over my mouth* What?
Wesley: I can't understand you, take away your hand
Me: You don't understand alot of things..
Wesley: What?
Me: I mean -- I can't. If I take away my hand, my lunch for the last three days will come back up in your face.
Wesley: Geez, she such a strong fighter you have a really weak stomach
Me: *taking my hand away* Aww, you think I'm a strong fighter? That's so sweet
Wesley: Well, I had to say something for you to uncover your mouth.
Me: Did you seriously want to talk to me, or did you just come up here to tease me?
Wesley: I seriously wanna talk to you....what do you know about the Black Monster
Me: Just...what everybody else tells me...
Wesley: Aw, c'mon, you gotta know something! You know all about the Dragon Campaign and Winglies and Virages, how can you NOT know about the Black Monster?!
Me: I have a question for you: what are ya gunna do when you find him -- the Black Monster?
Wesley: DUH kill him.
Me: Okay, listen Wesley -- I'm going to attempt to have a serious conversation with you, can you handle that?
Wesley: I...think so...
Me: Ya know what causes revenge? Insanity -- revenge makes a person enter insanity. It's the same for war. Our Dragoons Spirits help harness and chasten that insanity, so we can control it and use it against the forces of evil or what have you. Something BIG is gunna happen Wesley and you're gunna need to use that insanity in a way none of us can imagine....but given the meagerness of your Spirit, I wonder if you can handle it?
Wesley: *shakes his head* First of all, that doesn't have anything to do with the Black Monster --
Me: Yeah, well, it's similar to what is said in the game and it's some kind of foreshadowing and foreshadowing NEVER makes sense at first.
Wesley: -- second of all, you're telling me that I'm insane and that I'm not gunna be able to control my own behavior?
Me: *thinks for a moment* You can say that.
Wesley: Whatever. I'm going back below -- you can continue being all sea sick and stuff.
Me: Well, now that I have your permission.
(And Wesley disappeared below deck)
Me: I'm getting bored -- and nauseous -- up here. Maybe a walk will do me some good.
(I wandered the upper deck until I found Timoty sitting cross-legged on the floor, totally ignoring the sailor that tried to mop up around him)
Me: Uh, Timoty? I think your buddy here is trying to get some work done...
Timoty: *snapping out of his trance* What? Oh, sorry dude
Sailor: No problem *mops*
Timoty: So what brings you down from the crow's nest? I was worried you were gunna heave over the edge of it and it would land on me!
Me: Timmy, that's gross
Timoty: Don't call me Timmy
Me: Sure thing Timmy...so were you thinkin' of your daughter?
Timoty: Yeah, I guess so.
Me: Well, then I'll let ya get back to thinkin' of her...I'd better be going. I think if I constantly move around, I won't vomit all over the place *leaves*
Timoty: *sits back down* Well, that's a pretty image...hmm, Claire...
*FLASHBACK TO ROGUE!!*
(Two girls, one with blond hair and one with dark hair are fighting kung-fu style. Timoty is watching from the sidelines looking the same as he does now [even though that was 20 years ago])
Timoty: Claire, you have such slow steps! How can you be the Head of the Rogue School with such pathetic skills?!
Claire: *stops fighting and turns to Timoty* I'm sorry Father
Timoty: You stupid girl! While training, I'm not Father, I'm Master!
Claire: Yes Master *continues fighting*
(The girls continue fighting until the dark haired girl knocks out the blond girl. Instead of the blond girl getting back up, she lies motionless on the wooden floor)
Timoty: You idiot! You placed malious intentions into your fist, didn't you?!
Claire: Lotta? Lotta?! I'm so sorry, Lotta!! Answer me!!
Timoty: Get out of my sight!!
(And Claire runs out crying. End flashback)
Timoty: Damn, I was a horrible father! No wonder she ran away... damn, now I feel sad. I think Leroy can take care of that, where is that brute?
(Timoty found Leroy in the boiler room, below the lower deck)
Timoty: Wassup, Leroy!
Leroy: Hi Timoty.
Timoty: What are you up to?
Leroy: Me just...standing here.
Timoty: No, I mean as a whole -- I mean, we kicked the crap outta you twice in the first disk and suddenly you save us from certain death back in the Home of Gigantos! Why?
Leroy: Leroy glad to see Timoty cares.
Timoty: Sarcasm! Congratulations! You are now officially apart of the group.
Leroy: Timoty still wanna know why Leroy save you?
Timoty: Yeah, I guess so.
Leroy: Because you defeat Emperor Joel and Emperor Joel very powerful.
Timoty: Well, if it's Joel you're wondering about, maybe you should talk to Boberto. I mean, no one really understands Joel, but Boberto is supposed to be his estranged nephew so....ya, I'll be going back to my flashbacks now *leaves*
Leroy: Hmmm....Boberto, King of Humans....
(Leroy left his haven in the boiler room and searched for Boberto, who was camped out in the cabins)
Leroy: Boberto, can Leroy ask you question?
Boberto: Is it about Joel?
Leroy: *nods*
Boberto: He was your friend, wasn't he? Well, that's a stupid question this IS a parody of all of our friends so of course he was your friend.
Leroy: Well, what is "friend"?
Boberto: I guess...a friend is a person who walks the same path as you, but with different objectives. Well, I guess that wouldn't work in our case 'cause we all wanna go home....but, everybody here is a friend -- just don't ask me to define it again.
Leroy: O....k.....*leaves*
Nikole: *from the other cabin* HEEEEEYYYY!!!!! Doesn't anyone wanna hang out with mmmmeeeeeeeeeee??
Boberto: Might as well
(When Boberto entered Nikole's room, he was bombed with a pillow)
Nikole: 10 points!
Boberto: Ow?
Nikole: Wassup, Bobby?!
Boberto: No, you already gave Timoty a girly nickname -- you're only allowed to do that to one person on this journey.
Nikole: Really?? Awwwwww, ruining all my fun...
Boberto: This isn't supposed to be fun
Nikole: Yes it is, it's a video game!
Boberto: I just don't want another person dying
Nikole: Oh, you mean besides all the other people that we've killed since we got here?
Boberto: I was actually talking about Melvin, but you bring up a good point...
Nikole: ^_^
Boberto: Anyway, I just want to say we don't need anyone taking a lackadaisical attitude towards this journey
Nikole: What the hell does "lackadaisical" mean?!
Boberto: I don't know myself
Nikole: Well, just go then! I don't need a sour puss making me sad
Boberto: M'kay *leaves*
Nikole: Phooey, now I'm bored again. I think I'll go find someone to play with!
(She jumps down from her bunk bed and goes above deck. Nikole also finds herself looking for Wesley, still at the helm with Commodore Skip)
Nikole: A Wesley spotted! *Covers his eyes* Guess who?
(The screen goes black, I guess to get a better view of what's going on inside Wesley's head [which isn't much])
Wesley: Um...Nikole, of course
Nikole: *uncovers his eyes* Yay! You win the grand prize!
Wesley: Really? What is it?
Nikole: An adventure with me!
Skip: I thought we were already on an adventure!
Nikole: Oh, we are...this is a mini adventure
Skip: Oh, okay then. *Sigh* I love the sea, don't you?
Wesley: *whispers to Nikole* She's been saying that all day
Nikole: Whatever. So, you wanna come or will Ania get jealous seeing you with a pretty girl like me? Especially one of your ex-girlfriends?
Wesley: Probably, she blew up at me for not thinking about her.
Nikole: Hmm....oh well, let's go anyway!
(They made it a point to NOT see Ania, since Wesley did not feel like being yelled at again. So they went back up to the crow's nest, where I had returned to staring into the horizon and nervously holding my mouth and stomach)
Wesley: Wait, Nikole don't pull a joke on Tina
Nikole: Why not? She's my homie z, she'll totally understand!
Wesley: I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about --
Nikole: *sneaks up on me* BOO!! Hehehe
(I quickly turn around, and the sudden movement along with Nikole startling me caused me to barf all over the floor, barely missing Nikole's and Wesley's shoes)
Nikole: EEEEWWWWWWWW, Tina! These are new slippers!
Me: *wiping my mouth* Sorry....excuse me, I need to go brush my teeth *leaves*
Wesley: Told you.
Sailor: Commodore!! Commodore, there's another ship!
Skip: What? Another ship?
Sailor: She's fast approaching our starboard side!
(While the Commodore, Ricky, and the other sailors tended to the other ship, most of us Dragoons were below deck. It wasn't until the ship collided with our starboard side did we race up onto the main deck, my toothbrush still in hand. The new ship had now jammed itself into our starboard side [I say that alot, don't I?] and us Dragoons and the sailors stared in awe at the ship)
Skip: What are you doing?! Get back to your stations!
Sailors: *salute* Yes ma'am! *Races to their stations*
Me: *mouthful of toothpaste, dropping my toothbrush* Oh...my...god....
[Cliff hangers....annoying, aren't they?]
A/N: Lackadaisical means lacking spirit, liveliness, or interest (although I really don't think Nikole/Meru lacks any spirit or liveliness...interest, maybe but not the first two). But I still dunno what "alky" means!! Damn! And if some of the boating terms eluded you, go look 'em up. I can't do all the work now.
Disclaimer: I don't own LoD or a new Mercedes or an MP3 player. Dammit.
Chapter 19: Sea Sickness
Wesley: Leif, clear everyone outta here!
*Screen dissolves, battle begins*
(And the king, princesses, and Tiberoan noblity fled the Chamber of the Sun like one would leave a burning night club, minus the rogue pyrotechnics. Now it was just the Dragoons, Nikole [the only one without a Spirit *tear*], and Stacy, who wielded two disc thingys, resembling the ones used by Xena the Warrior Princess. Her weapon wasn't the only thing that puzzled us)
Wesley: What the hell is that coming out of her back?!
Leroy: She's floating!
Me: Oh god, she's a Wingly.
(Usually I find her easier to beat if I get the first turn. Her attacks are the only ones that have actually killed me -- she'll attack you with her Xena-thingys and I swear she flips you off afterwards!)
Stacy: *flips us off*
All: WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?!
Stacy: *still flipping us off*
All: He wouldn't do that!!
(And she only uses items of the water or darkness element, but before she does she draws a strange character in the air)
All: ??? We're confuzzled...
Me: Didn't I say that she was a Wingly?
(So my strategy: if you die alot, then wait until she's in yellow and red before turning people into Dragoons. When you do, Rose's Astrail Drain works well and Dart's fire attacks do decent amounts of damage on her as well. Other than that, all I can say is attack and gets lots of healing items....but most of you care more about the plot than my advice, right? Then we continue...)
(After the battle, we cornered her on the balcony)
Stacy: You are....very strong....
Boberto: Then why aren't you DEAD?!
Me: Just hand over the Moon Dagger, and we won't kill you -- you'll just rot in jail *smile*
Stacy: I told you, I must deliver this to my love!
Wesley: You have no way to escape! Give us the Dagger!
Stacy: No way to escape, huh? Hey! You over there, in the blue! What do you think of that?
Nikole: *looks down at her feet* I...uh...well...um....
Stacy: Fine, if you're going to be like that...*jumps off the balcony*
(We think she's a goner, dead at the hands of the unforgiving ocean waves instead of us. But of course not -- she uses those things on her back to hover above the sea and balcony)
Stacy: Ciao! *Flys away*
*Enter Leif and Princesses*
Leif: What?! She's a Wingly?!
Me: I ALREADY SAID THAT TWO TIMES!!!
Wesley: I think I already know the answer to this, but....how did you know that Stacy's a Wingly?
Me: BECAUSE I KNOW EVERYTHING!!
All: We know.
Leif: It looks likes she's headed to Illisa Bay -- I'll get Commodore Skip --
All: Skip?
Leif: Skip -- I'll get her to prepare the Queen Fury so that you can patrol Illisa Bay looking for the Wingly. But first, can you explain all of this to me, I'm very confused.
Me: Aren't we all.
~ ~ ~
Leif: So let me get this straight -- Andrea fell and hit her head --
Andrea: I...guess so...
Leif: So the Wingly Stacy replaced her and pretended to be Andrea for six months.
All: Yes.
Me: I never knew that Winglies had the power to shape-shift.
Wesley: AHA!! Finally, something you DON'T know!!!
Me: Unlike you, who doesn't know anything.
Wesley: *blink blink* HEY! That's an insult --
Me: Did you figure that out all by yourself, or did Ania hafta help you with that one?
Wesley: AND ANOTHER ONE!! Ania, she doesn't get $50! HAHA!
Timoty: That didn't last long
Boberto: One chapter, that's better than I expected
Leroy: *ahem*
Boberto: Oh yeah *hands Leroy $5*
All: What?
Boberto: We bet against how long Tina would last not making fun of Wesley
Wesley: I feel...so unloved...
Timoty: Geez, Boberto, you even lose bets to the Giganto! You're really sad.
Boberto: *pushes Timoty*
Me: It's ok, I got a better offer *is handed $70 by Aerena* Thanks, Aer
Aerena: XD *leaves*
All: Where the hell did she come from?
Me and Leroy: *doing a little dance* WE IN DA MON-AY!
Leif: Um, back to me
Me: Geez, somebody's conceited
Leif: *ignore* During the six months that Stacy was impersonating Andrea, she made a deal with DJ Puppy Chow and the Eastsiders Gang to infest Tiberoa, as a distraction, I assume?
All: *nods* Makes sense
Leif: And now Stacy has stolen the Moon Dagger and you seven plan to fetch it.
All: Correct.
Leif: But I must warn you, there's been a Dragon roaming around Illisa Bay so this is actually the first time we've put the Queen Fury out to port in a long time
Me: It's okay, it's my first time too
All: *raised eyebrow*
Me: On a boat, I mean *cough* Ya....
Leif: Well, at least you got rid of our gang problem!
Nikole: Does that mean you'll give us another feast?!
Leif: No...you guys should get to Donau as soon as possible so you can catch the Wingly and get back our Moon Dagger.
All: Awww....
Andrea: Be careful, Boberto
Boberto: *blushes* Okay
Girls: Ooooooooooohhhh, Boberto's got a girl~friend *giggles*
(So we pass through the Barrens AGAIN and head to the port of Donau, where a huge wooden boat sat quietly in the waves. On deck, hoards of sailors who all look the same bustled about the ship.)
All: Wow...
Leroy: It's bigger than me!
Me: I'm getting sea sick just looking at it *covers my mouth*
(We spotted on the dock a teenaged boy with short brown hair wearing loose blue pants and a long-sleeved shirt, so he didn't look important enough to be the Commodore but at least he stood out. We then saw a girl standing next to him, her shoulder-length hair blowing in the ocean winds and hands proudly at her hips. Her outfit looked like she stole it from the set of "The Patriot" [minus those stupid three-corner hats] and she added a cape [which also blew in the ocean winds])
Skip: *deep inhale through the nose* Ya smell that, Ricky? It's the smell of the ocean!
Ricky: Yeah, I kinda figured that out already
Skip: *ignore* Ah, I love that smell, don't you? Makes me wanna go surfing...too bad you don't have any good waves in Tiberoa...*notices us* Oh, look! It's our special guests!
Dragoons: Hi
Skip: Lookie, guys! I got a promotion! Commodore of this really really big boat....and this is my first-mate, Ricky
Ricky: Hi
[Ricky is another person who goes to my church, but at least he's a good guy! That's one good Catholic for ya...and we've known Skip for a long time, too. She has the random, day-dreamy personality that Puler exhibits throughout the game]
Skip: So, we're going on an adventure to pursue a girl with wings?
Dragoons: Yup.
Skip: Yay! I haven't been on an adventure...ever... well, then we'd better get going! Wehehe... *skips happily onto the ship*
Ricky: Yeah...and I'm here to make sure that you guys are all ready for the trip. Are you ready?
Wesley: Yes.
Ricky: Alright then, *running onto the ship* CAST OFF!
Dragoons: *walk onto the ship calmly*
Me: This DOES come with barf bags, right?
Skip: *at the helm* Hmm...dunno, I'm sure we got some 'round here somewhere....if you can't find any, you can just use Ricky's boots -- they stink enough as is
Ricky: Hey, that was uncalled for! You know I have a condition...
Skip: Hahahahaha, I'm just kidding with ya, Ricky! *Whispers* But I really don't think you should advertise your "condition"
Ricky: *rolls eyes* Why I take this abuse, I don't know.
Skip: Enough chit-chat, the sea beckons! Onward, ho!
Sailor: Who you calling a ho?!
Skip: Huh? No! No, I'm not calling you a....what was I saying again?
Ricky: You called the sailor a "ho"
Skip: No I didn't!
Timoty: *rubbing his temples* This is going to be a looong trip
Me: I'm gunna be sick *races to the side of the ship*
Skip: Starboard side! STARBOARD SIDE!
Me: *races to the other side of the ship and barfs over the railing*
~ ~ ~
(Once we cast off and were miles away from the shore, our group separated and wandered to different parts of the ship. Ania was the only one that remained on the main deck, dreamily watching the birds fly across the sky)
Ania: *sigh* I wish I could just fly away and leave this place, just like you guys.
Bird 1: Oh great, another crazy woman who thinks we actually CARE about her problems
Bird 2: OMG!! A TALKING BIRD!! *Flys away*
Bird 1: That was strange...*flys away*
Ania: Ya, know I probably could fly away *holds up her Dragoon Spirit* But I still can't go home, we hafta finish this stupid video game first....Ya know, ever since we got pulled into this game, everyone's gone crazy on me! Wesley's on this weird pursuit of a Black Monster; Timoty's trying to find a daughter who's older than himself; Boberto's a king; Leroy's a freak of nature; Nikole has become a hyper slut; and Tina's gone all dark and mysterious! Not to mention I've been hearing voices...but that's totally normal, I'm not the crazy one. And now what are we doing -- we're on an overrated boat looking for one of Tina's church buddies and some guy that Tina's got the hots for! Why is it all about Tina?! Why can't it be all about me?! *Sigh* Maybe I can go bother Wesley, HE'LL pay attention to me...
Sailor: You DO realize that you were talking to yourself, right?
Ania: *ignore* Off to go look for Wesley...
(She found Wesley sitting in a desk next to Commodore Skip at the helm)
Ania: Wesley! I'm glad I found ya.
Wesley: Huh? Oh, hi Ania.
Ania: "Oh hi Ania"?! What kind of greeting is that?!
Wesley: Well, you kinda interuppted me while I was thinking...
Ania: Oh, THAT'S a rarity
Wesley: HEY! I can barely tolerate Tina insulting me, I don't need you to join her
Ania: Oh, it's ALL about TINA isn't it?! Is THAT who you were thinking about?!
Wesley: No, I was thinking of the Black Monster *growls* I WILL have my revenge...
Ania: *rolls eyes* Even better. Well, don't let ME stop you from thinking of a MONSTER *storms off*
Wesley: What the hell was that about?
Skip: Lover's spat. How cute....sorta....actually, that was a pretty nasty argument *shudders*
Wesley: What?
Skip: It's obvious that Ania wanted YOU to be thinking of HER instead of this monster thing... and Ania's feelings toward you are also overly obvious to every character except for you.
Wesley: What, her hatred?
Skip: Geez you're even more clueless than me....*deep inhale through the nose* I love the sea, don't you?
Wesley: Um...yeah....I'll be right back {since Tina knows EVERYTHING maybe she can help me with this Black Monster nonsence}
(Wesley went above deck to the crow's nest, where he found me staring into the horizon, still holding my hand over my mouth and nervously holding my stomach and tapping my foot)
Me: *muffled* I hate sailing...
Wesley: Tina?
Me: *back turned to him, still muffled* What?
Wesley: Aren't you gunna face me?
Me: *turns around, hand still over my mouth* What?
Wesley: I can't understand you, take away your hand
Me: You don't understand alot of things..
Wesley: What?
Me: I mean -- I can't. If I take away my hand, my lunch for the last three days will come back up in your face.
Wesley: Geez, she such a strong fighter you have a really weak stomach
Me: *taking my hand away* Aww, you think I'm a strong fighter? That's so sweet
Wesley: Well, I had to say something for you to uncover your mouth.
Me: Did you seriously want to talk to me, or did you just come up here to tease me?
Wesley: I seriously wanna talk to you....what do you know about the Black Monster
Me: Just...what everybody else tells me...
Wesley: Aw, c'mon, you gotta know something! You know all about the Dragon Campaign and Winglies and Virages, how can you NOT know about the Black Monster?!
Me: I have a question for you: what are ya gunna do when you find him -- the Black Monster?
Wesley: DUH kill him.
Me: Okay, listen Wesley -- I'm going to attempt to have a serious conversation with you, can you handle that?
Wesley: I...think so...
Me: Ya know what causes revenge? Insanity -- revenge makes a person enter insanity. It's the same for war. Our Dragoons Spirits help harness and chasten that insanity, so we can control it and use it against the forces of evil or what have you. Something BIG is gunna happen Wesley and you're gunna need to use that insanity in a way none of us can imagine....but given the meagerness of your Spirit, I wonder if you can handle it?
Wesley: *shakes his head* First of all, that doesn't have anything to do with the Black Monster --
Me: Yeah, well, it's similar to what is said in the game and it's some kind of foreshadowing and foreshadowing NEVER makes sense at first.
Wesley: -- second of all, you're telling me that I'm insane and that I'm not gunna be able to control my own behavior?
Me: *thinks for a moment* You can say that.
Wesley: Whatever. I'm going back below -- you can continue being all sea sick and stuff.
Me: Well, now that I have your permission.
(And Wesley disappeared below deck)
Me: I'm getting bored -- and nauseous -- up here. Maybe a walk will do me some good.
(I wandered the upper deck until I found Timoty sitting cross-legged on the floor, totally ignoring the sailor that tried to mop up around him)
Me: Uh, Timoty? I think your buddy here is trying to get some work done...
Timoty: *snapping out of his trance* What? Oh, sorry dude
Sailor: No problem *mops*
Timoty: So what brings you down from the crow's nest? I was worried you were gunna heave over the edge of it and it would land on me!
Me: Timmy, that's gross
Timoty: Don't call me Timmy
Me: Sure thing Timmy...so were you thinkin' of your daughter?
Timoty: Yeah, I guess so.
Me: Well, then I'll let ya get back to thinkin' of her...I'd better be going. I think if I constantly move around, I won't vomit all over the place *leaves*
Timoty: *sits back down* Well, that's a pretty image...hmm, Claire...
*FLASHBACK TO ROGUE!!*
(Two girls, one with blond hair and one with dark hair are fighting kung-fu style. Timoty is watching from the sidelines looking the same as he does now [even though that was 20 years ago])
Timoty: Claire, you have such slow steps! How can you be the Head of the Rogue School with such pathetic skills?!
Claire: *stops fighting and turns to Timoty* I'm sorry Father
Timoty: You stupid girl! While training, I'm not Father, I'm Master!
Claire: Yes Master *continues fighting*
(The girls continue fighting until the dark haired girl knocks out the blond girl. Instead of the blond girl getting back up, she lies motionless on the wooden floor)
Timoty: You idiot! You placed malious intentions into your fist, didn't you?!
Claire: Lotta? Lotta?! I'm so sorry, Lotta!! Answer me!!
Timoty: Get out of my sight!!
(And Claire runs out crying. End flashback)
Timoty: Damn, I was a horrible father! No wonder she ran away... damn, now I feel sad. I think Leroy can take care of that, where is that brute?
(Timoty found Leroy in the boiler room, below the lower deck)
Timoty: Wassup, Leroy!
Leroy: Hi Timoty.
Timoty: What are you up to?
Leroy: Me just...standing here.
Timoty: No, I mean as a whole -- I mean, we kicked the crap outta you twice in the first disk and suddenly you save us from certain death back in the Home of Gigantos! Why?
Leroy: Leroy glad to see Timoty cares.
Timoty: Sarcasm! Congratulations! You are now officially apart of the group.
Leroy: Timoty still wanna know why Leroy save you?
Timoty: Yeah, I guess so.
Leroy: Because you defeat Emperor Joel and Emperor Joel very powerful.
Timoty: Well, if it's Joel you're wondering about, maybe you should talk to Boberto. I mean, no one really understands Joel, but Boberto is supposed to be his estranged nephew so....ya, I'll be going back to my flashbacks now *leaves*
Leroy: Hmmm....Boberto, King of Humans....
(Leroy left his haven in the boiler room and searched for Boberto, who was camped out in the cabins)
Leroy: Boberto, can Leroy ask you question?
Boberto: Is it about Joel?
Leroy: *nods*
Boberto: He was your friend, wasn't he? Well, that's a stupid question this IS a parody of all of our friends so of course he was your friend.
Leroy: Well, what is "friend"?
Boberto: I guess...a friend is a person who walks the same path as you, but with different objectives. Well, I guess that wouldn't work in our case 'cause we all wanna go home....but, everybody here is a friend -- just don't ask me to define it again.
Leroy: O....k.....*leaves*
Nikole: *from the other cabin* HEEEEEYYYY!!!!! Doesn't anyone wanna hang out with mmmmeeeeeeeeeee??
Boberto: Might as well
(When Boberto entered Nikole's room, he was bombed with a pillow)
Nikole: 10 points!
Boberto: Ow?
Nikole: Wassup, Bobby?!
Boberto: No, you already gave Timoty a girly nickname -- you're only allowed to do that to one person on this journey.
Nikole: Really?? Awwwwww, ruining all my fun...
Boberto: This isn't supposed to be fun
Nikole: Yes it is, it's a video game!
Boberto: I just don't want another person dying
Nikole: Oh, you mean besides all the other people that we've killed since we got here?
Boberto: I was actually talking about Melvin, but you bring up a good point...
Nikole: ^_^
Boberto: Anyway, I just want to say we don't need anyone taking a lackadaisical attitude towards this journey
Nikole: What the hell does "lackadaisical" mean?!
Boberto: I don't know myself
Nikole: Well, just go then! I don't need a sour puss making me sad
Boberto: M'kay *leaves*
Nikole: Phooey, now I'm bored again. I think I'll go find someone to play with!
(She jumps down from her bunk bed and goes above deck. Nikole also finds herself looking for Wesley, still at the helm with Commodore Skip)
Nikole: A Wesley spotted! *Covers his eyes* Guess who?
(The screen goes black, I guess to get a better view of what's going on inside Wesley's head [which isn't much])
Wesley: Um...Nikole, of course
Nikole: *uncovers his eyes* Yay! You win the grand prize!
Wesley: Really? What is it?
Nikole: An adventure with me!
Skip: I thought we were already on an adventure!
Nikole: Oh, we are...this is a mini adventure
Skip: Oh, okay then. *Sigh* I love the sea, don't you?
Wesley: *whispers to Nikole* She's been saying that all day
Nikole: Whatever. So, you wanna come or will Ania get jealous seeing you with a pretty girl like me? Especially one of your ex-girlfriends?
Wesley: Probably, she blew up at me for not thinking about her.
Nikole: Hmm....oh well, let's go anyway!
(They made it a point to NOT see Ania, since Wesley did not feel like being yelled at again. So they went back up to the crow's nest, where I had returned to staring into the horizon and nervously holding my mouth and stomach)
Wesley: Wait, Nikole don't pull a joke on Tina
Nikole: Why not? She's my homie z, she'll totally understand!
Wesley: I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about --
Nikole: *sneaks up on me* BOO!! Hehehe
(I quickly turn around, and the sudden movement along with Nikole startling me caused me to barf all over the floor, barely missing Nikole's and Wesley's shoes)
Nikole: EEEEWWWWWWWW, Tina! These are new slippers!
Me: *wiping my mouth* Sorry....excuse me, I need to go brush my teeth *leaves*
Wesley: Told you.
Sailor: Commodore!! Commodore, there's another ship!
Skip: What? Another ship?
Sailor: She's fast approaching our starboard side!
(While the Commodore, Ricky, and the other sailors tended to the other ship, most of us Dragoons were below deck. It wasn't until the ship collided with our starboard side did we race up onto the main deck, my toothbrush still in hand. The new ship had now jammed itself into our starboard side [I say that alot, don't I?] and us Dragoons and the sailors stared in awe at the ship)
Skip: What are you doing?! Get back to your stations!
Sailors: *salute* Yes ma'am! *Races to their stations*
Me: *mouthful of toothpaste, dropping my toothbrush* Oh...my...god....
[Cliff hangers....annoying, aren't they?]
A/N: Lackadaisical means lacking spirit, liveliness, or interest (although I really don't think Nikole/Meru lacks any spirit or liveliness...interest, maybe but not the first two). But I still dunno what "alky" means!! Damn! And if some of the boating terms eluded you, go look 'em up. I can't do all the work now.