I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. Oh Javi, sigh….
For the second time today, Ryan and Esposito found themselves fighting rush-hour traffic down the clogged avenues that made up much of their precinct, stoically tolerating the masses of out-of-towners and tourist busses that paid no attention to the vehicles around them, making erratic turns across three lanes or slamming on the brakes at the last second, nearly causing a wreck.
Ryan wondered if the combination of the last few nights spent in Spanish Harlem and the disaster that was his current daycare situation had something to do with the fact that he could feel every muscle in his body ache, the pain skyrocketing each time his partner hit one of the plentiful potholes that stretched across all lanes of traffic.
He hadn't told Javi about his strange encounter with Sheringer just yet, fearing that he would only fan the flames when it came to the ongoing animosity the entire department seemed to harbor against the woman. No, first he'd talk to Beckett, see if this had happened before and if so, what the crude psychologist's intention really entailed.
Deeply engrossed in his own brooding, Kevin didn't realize that his partner hadn't said a word the entire way, his deep brown eyes gazing at something in the distance, his mind wandering some other place, probably somewhere between the women's penitentiary and a cozy bar chair.
When the car came to a halt and Esposito didn't move for many long moments, the young detective cleared his throat.
"Hey…", he tried softly, surprised when his partner flinched unperceptively, then slowly glanced over at him.
"Yeah?"
"We're here, bro. How about we get out and talk to O'Donnell and then call it a day? That shootout this morning still has me on pins and needles and I gotta go shopping when I get home. Jenny needs some more baby clothes. I swear our new baby is going to own more clothes than I do. And it's not just the cheap type. She wants the nicer ones, little bibs and onesies and such and these things are costing a fortune. I am literally spending my paycheck on brand-new clothes for my newborn baby to puke and poop and pee on…"
His candid admission caused Esposito to raise his eyebrows, opening his mouth slightly to say something but remaining quiet instead.
At this point, Kevin nearly begged him to drop some of his famous one-liners, make fun of him, mock his whininess, practically anything but that solemn quietness that had befallen the man he proudly called his best friend.
But his wishes never came true.
As though he lacked the energy for their cheerful banter, Esposito just nodded indifferently and released a deep breath, then cocked his chin toward the tall apartment building across the street.
"Let's go then."
His words were blank, stripped of any emotion, enthusiasm or care.
It was as though Javi was just biting his time working his job before spending the night at the bar, following some unhealthy, rollercoaster-type coping mechanism Kevin still knew so little of.
He'd tried to get him to talk, beers or no beers, and it hadn't changed a damn thing. Eventually it seemed that his partner was bound and determined to work through the heartache caused by Sonia's return all on his own, unwilling to let anybody in, loathing in some self-bestowed guilt and regret for the foreseeable future.
And as much as Kevin wanted to keep trying, his own struggles were beginning to eat away at his free time and energy a lot faster than he cared to admit. He owed it to his wife and children to be present when they needed him the most- regardless of how much it tore at a friendship that meant the world to him.
They followed the elevators of the newly remodeled apartment complex to the 4th floor, where a long hallway lined in grey checkered carpet greeted them. Late in the afternoon, there'd been little foot traffic to be found, most people either still at work or out shopping.
Thankfully, their latest witness was one of them, and currently not on shift.
Exchanging a brief glance with his partner, Kevin knocked on the door, twice for good measure.
"Detective O'Donnell?"
Quick footsteps coming from the other side could be heard, causing both of them to slide one hand over the Glock on their hip, the move second nature even though they were here to talk to a fellow cop.
A chain rattled on the inside before the door slowly opened, the medium-built man in his late forties smiling at them as he opened wider to let them in.
"The dynamic duo of the 12th precinct. I'll be damned. Us guys over at the 9th just can't escape you this week, can we?"
There was a sad undertone in the other man's voice as he moved off to the side to let them in, then closed the door behind them again.
"Yeah, unfortunately our killer has us running all across town lately, so it's been an…all-hands-on-deck approach.", Kevin explained in professional neutrality and shrugged as he watched O'Donnell put his hands on his hips.
"That's what I heard. So what brings me the honor of your visit this afternoon, gentlemen?"
"A phone call you made to Officer Reece a few hours before he was killed.", Esposito explained matter-of-factly and leaned up against the back of maroon couch, the centerpiece in the sparsely decorated apartment, "The call lasted several minutes. What were you two discussing?"
"Ah. Of course.", was his sole response for a few seconds, creating a tense silence between all men until O'Donnell cleared his throat again, "We were just talking. I needed some help moving a couple pieces of furniture around in this place. Little did I know it was the last time we would ever talk again."
With a shuddered breath, the Robbery detective ran a hand across his face, shaking his head in disbelief as he fought to regain his emotions, the skin on his balding crown growing shiny.
"How did you guys know each other?", Kevin pried, hoping to keep the other man talking.
"Throughout the years, I had a few robbery cases that brought me close to Central Park. So, you get to know the guys down there quite well."
"I know a few guys from there too. But I don't have their private cell phone numbers and wouldn't even think to call them to my apartment to move furniture."
Between the usual skepticism, Kevin sensed a layer of dissension in Esposito's voice, the detective's intense gaze never leaving their witness.
"Maybe I just have a better disposition than you do. What's the name again, Rodrigo? Armando?"
"Esposito.", Kevin cut in, hoping to diffuse the situation, "Detectives Ryan and Esposito."
Breathing a sigh of relief when the staring contest finally ceased, the younger detective ran a nervous hand down his immaculately tailored suit jacket, ready to continue the questioning but O'Donnell was faster.
"That's right. You guys have been in front of the cameras a lot lately, haven't you? Really digging the limelight there. The press sure seems to love you."
"Must be our charming disposition…", Esposito started again, and took a step closer to the other detective, who stood at least a head taller, "That was a long phone call just to ask for help. So what did he say?"
"He said that he'd be busy and-"
"Busy with what?"
"Busy with work…", O'Donnell replied, annunciating each word carefully, his cheeks turning a shade redder as the intense interview continued.
"What else did you talk about?"
"Traffic being ridiculous."
"Oh yeah? What else?"
"The weather."
"What about the weather?"
It was enough to finally put O'Donnell over the edge and he huffed in frustration before crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"Listen, I don't know what you guys are trying to achieve here but as far as I am concerned, this interview is over. I supplied you with everything I know regarding the matter so why don't you get out of here and rejoin your…hot but crazy captain at the 12th and save the manic witch hunt for someone else. I have work to do."
Kevin saw his partner get ready to rebut and reached over to place a calming hand on his chest, not willing or ready to take this any further at the moment.
"We appreciate your cooperation, detective. We'll be in contact if we have any more questions."
Even though he dreaded it, he looked over at Javi, seeing the disapproval in his eyes but deciding to stand his ground regardless.
When all he received was a disgruntled scoff, he gently tucked on his partner's mocca suit, coaxing him toward the door, surprised when he yielded the move.
Muttering a half-hearted goodbye, Kevin drug Esposito back out into the hallway, longing for the quietness in the squad car while loathing the thick air this situation would undoubtedly cause between them.
As such, he wasn't surprised when nothing was said until they crossed the street, ready to return to the precinct and call a difficult day to an end. Suddenly, Javi stopped short, arms leaning across the roof of the red Charger, his expression a toxic mixture of disdain and arrogance.
"Next time stay home if you don't want to interview a suspect."
"Don't want to interview a suspect…",Ryan replied mockingly, "The guy had a phone conversation with our victim, that's all. And he's a cop. You weren't that rude to any of the family members of our vic's when we talked to them, so what was different about O'Donnell?"
"The guy is a jerk. And I don't trust him."
"I don't either but that doesn't give you the right to talk to him like that."
"Yeah, well, you'd think different if you had somebody make fun of your ethnicity day in and day out.", Esposito began, his voice quivering slightly.
Maybe they were getting closer to the root cause of the problem after all, Kevin mused and lowered his head for a second, trying to figure out how to handle the sensitive topic.
"I didn't read O'Donnell's confusion about your last name as a racist remark."
"That's because you don't have to deal with it. None of you. Castle, Beckett, you…I am the only brown guy in this group. What was I thinking even bringing this up, you wouldn't know it if it hit you in the face."
"Stop this, Javier.", Kevin said curtly, the use of his full first name enough to cause the other man to stall in surprise for a moment, "You're part of our team, you're my partner, and my best friend. None of this has anything to do with race. Dude, remember, I worked narcotics. How many Irish catholic boys of my statue do you know that can prowl these streets out here without being targeted? All that to say…why are you bringing this up? Is that what's been eating you up? You think you're less than us for one reason or another? Is that where all this..this anger is coming from?"
Kevin didn't realize he was shaking until he heard the trembling in his voice, his hand holding onto the door frame tapping an involuntary rhythm against the metal.
"I know it's been a few rough weeks but we're in this together, Javi. Whatever is going on, whatever doubts you might have, talk to me. I'll listen. I'll be there for you. We promised that to one another years ago, remember?", he reiterated after a painful moment of silence and let his eyes drift over to his partner, not surprised at the scowl that was awaiting him.
There should be harsh words following the gesture, along with a thick wall of arrogance and professional distance that Javi had perfected over the years, mastering the art of pushing away the very people who cared for him the most.
But instead, he blinked several times, swallowing something that had been on his tongue, the sides of his neck flushed against the white of his dress shirt collar.
"You're right…", Esposito finally said, surprising Kevin for the second time that afternoon when it came to his volatile mood swings, "Today's just gotten the better of me."
Nodding in response, Kevin reached for the door handle, his stomach churning as he looked over at his best friend one last time, seeing that precious moment of vulnerability quickly get drowned out by his ever-present stoic carelessness as he shrugged in disinterest and got back into the car, never saying another word about the matter.