Author's Note: The reason for the wide gap in updates: banishment from the
computer. Something about not finishing summer homework....? Randomness,
and a really big wolf. Fun stuff.
Disclaimer: I don't own LoD so don't sue me
Chapter 23: *DISK THREE* Kamuy, the Wolf on Stereoids
Please insert disk three.....please wait....
(As the Queen Fury sailed the vast ocean, a small port-town approached on the horizon. Ania quickly summoned the other Dragoons to the ship's hull, so we too could enjoy the view. They surveyed the village with a careful eye, while I barfed up my breakfast over the side of the ship)
All: Eeeeewwwwwwwwwwww.....
(And so begins.......)
FATE AND SOUL
(The Queen Fury docked at the port of Furni, approapiately called the "water city." Skip is still standing at the helm, periodically saying "I love the sea!" while Ricky rubbed his temples and us Dragoons hopped from the Queen Fury onto the land.)
Skip: *deep breath* I love --
Ricky: THE SEA!! I KNOW!! Why don't you say anything else?!
Skip: I dunno......because that's all the dialogue Tina can think to give me?
Leroy: First time me crossed ocean
Me: And my last!
Boberto: Really, the cook shouldn't have served those southwest omelets for breakfast....even I'M starting to feel it coming back up.
Timoty: Soooooo....we're here. Now what?
Wesley: Well, due to our previous experiences, Jimbo is most likely NOT to be wandering the watery streets of Furni
Nikole: Coming from you that sounds like.....what's that word I'm looking for?
Timoty: Total bullshit?
Nikole: That's it, total bullshit.
Wesley: That's two words
Me: Hey, that's damn good bullshit I wrote that bullshit
Ania: Let's see how many times we can use "bullshit" in a sentence
Boberto: Is that a bet?
Ania: No
Wesley: We still haven't settled our bet, Boberto.
Boberto: Oh yeah.....Ania, hit Timoty
Ania: *hits Timoty*
Timoty: *sarcasm* Oh, the pain.
Ania: *hits him again*
Boberto: Five times, I win. Gimme $10
Wesley: $10?!
Boberto: Yes, because that's how much money I lost to Tina
Wesley: *grumbles, but gives him the money anyway*
Me: Can we go find out what there is to do in this town?
Wesley: Is that a question or an order?
Me: Order
(While cruising through the small town, we find a congregation of warriors and mercenaries listening closely to the resident knight, Sir Harris [I think that's his name....])
Wesley: I still dunno what a mercenary is....
Harris: The wolf called Kamuy is rabid and dangerous. Five times larger prize for the person who kills Kamuy without harming Teo, the boy he's taken into the Evergreen Forest.
Warriors: Yeah! Five times larger prize! *Other various cheers*
(One of the warriors [who looks suspiciously like that first guy you fought in the Hero Competion waaaay back in disk one] approaches Wesley...I'll call him Brutus)
Brutus: Hey, you thinking of getting that five times larger prize? Well, don't! Cuz I'M getting it!
Wesley: Five times larger prize? Larger than what? Ya know, he could be only offering you like 5 G.
Nikole: Feeding him more bullshit, Tina?
Me: Bullshit with a point.
[Bullshit count so far: 7]
Harris: Calm down back there! The important thing is that we kill Kamuy and bring Teo back safely.
Warriors: Whatever
[The reason I'm not assigning some more of my friends parts as Harris, Teo, etc etc is because I think that the creators of LoD got bored and randomly added this bit in Furni about Kamuy just so they could make the third disk slightly longer than the first two.]
Harris: *to Wesley* Sorry about Brutus. Everyone's just on edge right now
Wesley: We noticed....so what's to do in this town?
Harris: You'll need a boating pass in order to get around -- they're available at the hotel.
Me: Oh god, not more boats....
(So, on to the hotel...)
Hotel manager: Hello, and welcome to Furni! You folks in need of a boating pass? Well, are you helping in the hunt for Kamuy?
Wesley: ... no
Hotel manager: Well, that's too bad 'cuz they get free boating passes.
Wesley: Did I say no? I meant....
Boberto: I'll handle this -- I'm Boberto, the King of Serdio.
Hotel manager: So?
Boberto: Shouldn't I get a free boating pass then?
Hotel manager: The mayor never said anything about giving free boating passes to royalty.....but, wait, how many of you are there? Seven? Hey, you guys came on the Queen Fury, didn't ya?!
Wesley: Yeah....
Hotel manager: Oh my! You guys are the heroes from Tiberoa! Well, that DEFINETLY deserves a free boating pass!
*Acquired boating pass*
Hotel manager: Also, go visit the mayor! He'd be so excited to meet you folks!
All: Whatever.
(We navigate the streets of Furni in our little boat. Thankfully, I did not throw up once since I got off the Queen Fury)
All other Dragoons: *cheers*
(So, we visit the weapons and items shops [Healing Fogs, yay!] and talk to random fisherman before heading over to the mayor's house)
Mayor: Where are they?! The heroes from Tiberoa?!
Wesley: *swaggering* You asked for some heroes?
Timoty: Wesley, I can't see the mayor over your inflated head!
Wesley: *nervously pats his head* What?! What's wrong with my head?! What?!
Ania: Didn't you do a joke similar to that when we were in Hoax?
[I might have, I don't remember anymore]
Me: It's....just really sad.
Nikole: What? That you can't remember or that Wesley's head's big or that Wesley doesn't know that his head's big or that he can fall for the same gag twice or....
Me: Yes, yes, yes, and yes. And those other questions you have: the answer is yes.
Nikole: So I can bash Wesley with my hammer?!
Wesley: No.
Mayor: .....
Me: Oh, right! You, mayor...guy...
Mayor: Um....come in? But I dunno if I want you seven around my daughter anymore.....
Leroy: How old?
Mayor: Too young for you
Me: Oh, no girl is too young for Leroy! He likes to rock the cradle, don't ya Leroy?
Nikole: BURN!
Leroy: That cold.
Wesley: It's a burn, yet it's cold.....
Timoty: DON'T think. Thinking makes you die! No, wait that's talking....
Me: That's what I do.
Nikole: Talking or thinking or dying or....??
Me: Burning Leroy and Wesley and everybody else in my path!!!
Ania: We're ignoring the mayor guy again.
All: Sorry! What did you need?
Mayor: I was gunna talk to you about the Kamuy situation but then again.....
Wesley: No, it's okay, we'll be good.
(Enter the Mayor's daughter, Fa. She doesn't talk and she quickly attaches herself to Ania's legs)
Mayor: This is my daughter
Me: Down, Leroy
Leroy: You cold
Me: The Ice Queen
Ania: Hi there.
Fa: *still attached to Ania's leg*
Mayor: Seems she's taken a liking to you
Timoty: God knows why
Ania: *smacks Timoty*
Wesley: That's SIX times!
Boberto: I already won the bet, Wesley but *pats him on the back* nice try
Ania: What's your name?
Mayor: She doesn't speak....well, I mean, she USED to speak but then she was attacked by the wolf, Kamuy. This same Kamuy took her best friend, Teo, into the Evergreen Forest with it. Fa hasn't spoken since.
Me, Ania, Nikole: Aaaaaaawwwwwwwww you poor thing!
Wesley: What was Teo doing with a wolf anyway?
Mayor: It used to be this cute little cub, but something happened and it turned into a rabid beast. It's very unusual.
Wesley: Hmmm, yes, indeed *strokes his chin*
Nikole: Bullssshhhh --
Ania: *cover's Fa's ears*
Nikole: *very quietly* Bullshit
Wesley: I didn't say anything!
Me: Ah, yes, but you looked like you were thinking -- that's bullshit right there
Ania: Please! The child!
Me: Oh, like she'll repeat it.
Mayor: Before you corrupt my daughter, can I ask that you take care of the Kamuy situation?
All: Yes, you may ask.
Mayor: ..... will you take care of the Kamy situation?
All: Sure. Whatever.
Mayor: Great! I'll ignore the fact that you all are complete mental cases and invite you to stay the night!
All: Yay!
~ ~ ~
(After we are fed dinner, Fa is still attached to Ania, but she's starting to yawn constantly)
Ania: Are you tired? You wanna go to bed?
Fa: *nods*
Ania: Okay, I'll lie down with you
[The way Shana says it in the actual game sounds really wrong to me ("let's go to bed together" _) ....but maybe I just have a sick mind. That might be it.]
Timoty: Aww, I never knew you had it in you
Ania: Had what in me?
Timoty: The ability to be nice
Ania: *smack*
Boberto: Maybe you shouldn't talk to her the the duration of the story.
Timoty: That might be best
[Okay, this is the part where Ania/Shana sings a sweet little lullaby to Fa, and Timoty/Haschel recognizes it and has ANOTHER flashback to Rogue -- a different one, though -- and then Ania/Shana tells him that Wesley/Dart's mother sang it to him (Dart). The moment you, the Readers, and Timoty/Haschel find out that he is Wesley/Dart's grandfather. BUT NO ONE ELSE MUST KNOW!! It's a terrible secret, you know]
Timoty: Yeah, like I would tell any of them that I'm related to HIM *refers to the oblivious Wesley* -- do you know how much Tina would make fun of me?!
[Alot, actually. And I would know. Anyway, I'm explaining it you the Readers instead of the characters "acting" it, so to speak, because 1) Ania can't sing]
Ania: Yes I can!
[No, mouthing imaginary words to songs you don't know does NOT count as singing]
Ania: *pouts*
Nikole: HEY!! *Pouts*
Boberto: Please, no more pouting contests
[And 2) the whole Wesley-Timoty relationship is just....wrong....as is everything else in this god damn fic]
All: Damn skippy
Ania: She's asleep. Where did Wesley go?
Boberto: Outside. On the roof.
Nikole: Oh, I hope he doesn't fall or jump off
[Nah, he wouldn't -- besides, even if he did, he's expendable]
Wesley: Thanks. I REALLY feel loved now.
[No problem]
Ania: *goes outside on the roof* What's on your mind?
Wesley: Nothing, really
[Well I coulda told you that]
Wesley: Why don't you just go away?
[No -- I'm omnipresent, remember? You DO know what omnipresent means?]
Wesley: Yes
[Liar]
Ania: Then just be silent for a while -- I'm trying to move on with the story!!
[Well exCUSE me, of course I'll follow your orders Your Majesty]
Boberto: That's me!!
Wesley: .... anyway, I was just looking up at the Moon over there *points to the Moon That Never Sets*
Ania: You mean the one that never sets?
Wesley: Yeah. Sure. Ya know, the Moon has started to play a central role in our quest lately
Vicente/Binchenzo [who are, in fact, the same person]: I coulda told you that!!
All: ... and all the way from Tiberoa...or wherever the hell he is ...
Nikole: *now eavesdropping on Wesley and Ania* Bullshit!! Bullshit, bullshit, la la la la la la!
[Bullshit count so far: 12]
Ania: *clutches her head* OW!
Wesley: What's wrong?
Ania: *Dragoon Spirit glows and she begins to shake* My head.....it hurts! And I'm....losing control of my Spirit!!
Wesley: Hey! Someone help us up here!
Ania: *faints*
Nikole: Oh my god!
[I don't remember whether she faints there or not, but I thought it was a nice touch]
~ ~ ~
(The following morning.....)
Mayor: Is your friend alright?
Wesley: Yeah, she'll be fine...she's done this alot and nothing long term has happened yet
Timoty: Are you sure? I mean...
Me: Actually, she's been like that for a while.
Ania: I'M RIGHT HERE!!
All: WE'RE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!! NO SHOUTING!!
Mayor: So, you will take care of Kamuy? You seven are probably crazy enough to actually beat him
Me: Oh, you have NO idea how crazy we REALLY are *eye twitch*
Mayor: I believe you. Good bye *pushes us out of his house*
All: Rude
(Wandering through the Evergreen Forest. We will be doing this alot.)
Me: *whistles the tune "Heigh-Ho"*
Nikole: *singing along with me* Heigh-ho! Heigh-ho! It's off to fight we go! Another enemy is about to die HEIGH-HO! Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, heigh- ho....
Wesley: That's pretty clever, did you just make that up?
Nikole: Actually, I've been working on that since we arrived at the mayor's house
Me: I would expect that from Wesley, but Nikole.....not you.....
[Don't act so surprised, you're the one developing her character]
Me: No, that would be you
[Oh yeah]
Wesley: Is she arguing with herself??
Me: Ya know, maybe I WILL let Nikole test her mallet on you
Nikole: YAY!!
Boberto: Hey, look over there!
Me: I think most of us are smart enough to not fall for that trick, Boberto (key word: most *glares at Wesley*).
Wesley: I didn't do anything!
Me: But it's a nice attempt at changing the subject.
Boberto: Seriously, there's a kid on top of a wolf over there!
Timoty: Sounds like a personal problem to me.
Kamuy: *roar*
(Realizing that Boberto was telling the truth, we whipped our heads around and noticed Sir Harris from the village and the rest of the eager warriors, especially "Brutus")
Harris: Teo! Please, come down here! You must leave Kamuy!
Teo: No! Kamuy's not bad! He didn't attack Fa, he saved her!
Harris: He's dangerous!
Brutus: Enough talking, I want that five times larger prize!
Teo: No!
Kamuy: *roars, then knocks down Harris and the warriors and flees for another part of the forest*
Wesley: Interesting...
Ania: I dunno what Teo's on, that animal looks like a threat to society to me
Me: Like you?
Timoty: I was gunna say that!
Boberto: I wanna know what KAMUY'S on...probably massive stereoids....he looks like he could join major league baseball
Me and Leroy: *death glare*
Timoty: I wouldn't say that around the avid Dodgers fans *discretely points to me and Leroy*
Boberto: Thanks, I coulda used that information two minutes ago.
Nikole: I say we follow them!! Onward! *Races toward where Kamuy ran off to*
All: Whatever
(We follow Kamuy and the group to a dead end in the Evergreen Forest. There is an opportunity for you to retreat, but it's not like this boss is hard or anything, so don't be afraid and go ahead and beat the crap outta the stereoid-induced wolf)
Teo: Please don't hurt Kamuy!
Harris: You can't protect him forever!
Brutus: I want that prize! *Swings at the wolf*
Kamuy: *roars, and pins down Brutus*
Brutus: No! Please don't kill me! *Cries*
All: How pathetic
Harris: You folks! Do something already!
Wesley: *draws his sword* Fine, fine, we'll kill the damn thing
Teo: Stoooooooooooooppp!!
*Screen dissolves, battle begins*
(The worst thing this puppy can do is stun your people and pin them onto the ground and eat them. And Wesley/Dart doesn't even do his special move at the end! I told you, random boss to make the disk [and this chapter] longer. By the way: the five times larger prize refers to five times larger than 100 G [which is 500 G for all you math geniuses, which I am not]. That's how much dinero you get for killing Kamuy)
Teo: Kamuy! No, please don't die!
Me: Sorry kid, we hardly ever leave them alive
All: That's mean!
Me: I know, but I gotta keep up my mysterious cold-hearted bitch image.
Ania: I may be contradicting myself, but *pulls out her Dragoon Spirit*.... White-Silver Dragon, heal Kamuy!
(The effects of Kamuy's stereoids wear off and he returns to being a happy little puppy dog)
Teo: Yay!
All: Bullshit!
Ania: What?! I did something nice!
Wesley: You couldn't have done that when Melvin was near death?!
Ania: Oh....I guess I didn't think of it at the time.
All: Bullshit
[Bullshit grand total (spoken dialogue only): 14]
Disclaimer: I don't own LoD so don't sue me
Chapter 23: *DISK THREE* Kamuy, the Wolf on Stereoids
Please insert disk three.....please wait....
(As the Queen Fury sailed the vast ocean, a small port-town approached on the horizon. Ania quickly summoned the other Dragoons to the ship's hull, so we too could enjoy the view. They surveyed the village with a careful eye, while I barfed up my breakfast over the side of the ship)
All: Eeeeewwwwwwwwwwww.....
(And so begins.......)
FATE AND SOUL
(The Queen Fury docked at the port of Furni, approapiately called the "water city." Skip is still standing at the helm, periodically saying "I love the sea!" while Ricky rubbed his temples and us Dragoons hopped from the Queen Fury onto the land.)
Skip: *deep breath* I love --
Ricky: THE SEA!! I KNOW!! Why don't you say anything else?!
Skip: I dunno......because that's all the dialogue Tina can think to give me?
Leroy: First time me crossed ocean
Me: And my last!
Boberto: Really, the cook shouldn't have served those southwest omelets for breakfast....even I'M starting to feel it coming back up.
Timoty: Soooooo....we're here. Now what?
Wesley: Well, due to our previous experiences, Jimbo is most likely NOT to be wandering the watery streets of Furni
Nikole: Coming from you that sounds like.....what's that word I'm looking for?
Timoty: Total bullshit?
Nikole: That's it, total bullshit.
Wesley: That's two words
Me: Hey, that's damn good bullshit I wrote that bullshit
Ania: Let's see how many times we can use "bullshit" in a sentence
Boberto: Is that a bet?
Ania: No
Wesley: We still haven't settled our bet, Boberto.
Boberto: Oh yeah.....Ania, hit Timoty
Ania: *hits Timoty*
Timoty: *sarcasm* Oh, the pain.
Ania: *hits him again*
Boberto: Five times, I win. Gimme $10
Wesley: $10?!
Boberto: Yes, because that's how much money I lost to Tina
Wesley: *grumbles, but gives him the money anyway*
Me: Can we go find out what there is to do in this town?
Wesley: Is that a question or an order?
Me: Order
(While cruising through the small town, we find a congregation of warriors and mercenaries listening closely to the resident knight, Sir Harris [I think that's his name....])
Wesley: I still dunno what a mercenary is....
Harris: The wolf called Kamuy is rabid and dangerous. Five times larger prize for the person who kills Kamuy without harming Teo, the boy he's taken into the Evergreen Forest.
Warriors: Yeah! Five times larger prize! *Other various cheers*
(One of the warriors [who looks suspiciously like that first guy you fought in the Hero Competion waaaay back in disk one] approaches Wesley...I'll call him Brutus)
Brutus: Hey, you thinking of getting that five times larger prize? Well, don't! Cuz I'M getting it!
Wesley: Five times larger prize? Larger than what? Ya know, he could be only offering you like 5 G.
Nikole: Feeding him more bullshit, Tina?
Me: Bullshit with a point.
[Bullshit count so far: 7]
Harris: Calm down back there! The important thing is that we kill Kamuy and bring Teo back safely.
Warriors: Whatever
[The reason I'm not assigning some more of my friends parts as Harris, Teo, etc etc is because I think that the creators of LoD got bored and randomly added this bit in Furni about Kamuy just so they could make the third disk slightly longer than the first two.]
Harris: *to Wesley* Sorry about Brutus. Everyone's just on edge right now
Wesley: We noticed....so what's to do in this town?
Harris: You'll need a boating pass in order to get around -- they're available at the hotel.
Me: Oh god, not more boats....
(So, on to the hotel...)
Hotel manager: Hello, and welcome to Furni! You folks in need of a boating pass? Well, are you helping in the hunt for Kamuy?
Wesley: ... no
Hotel manager: Well, that's too bad 'cuz they get free boating passes.
Wesley: Did I say no? I meant....
Boberto: I'll handle this -- I'm Boberto, the King of Serdio.
Hotel manager: So?
Boberto: Shouldn't I get a free boating pass then?
Hotel manager: The mayor never said anything about giving free boating passes to royalty.....but, wait, how many of you are there? Seven? Hey, you guys came on the Queen Fury, didn't ya?!
Wesley: Yeah....
Hotel manager: Oh my! You guys are the heroes from Tiberoa! Well, that DEFINETLY deserves a free boating pass!
*Acquired boating pass*
Hotel manager: Also, go visit the mayor! He'd be so excited to meet you folks!
All: Whatever.
(We navigate the streets of Furni in our little boat. Thankfully, I did not throw up once since I got off the Queen Fury)
All other Dragoons: *cheers*
(So, we visit the weapons and items shops [Healing Fogs, yay!] and talk to random fisherman before heading over to the mayor's house)
Mayor: Where are they?! The heroes from Tiberoa?!
Wesley: *swaggering* You asked for some heroes?
Timoty: Wesley, I can't see the mayor over your inflated head!
Wesley: *nervously pats his head* What?! What's wrong with my head?! What?!
Ania: Didn't you do a joke similar to that when we were in Hoax?
[I might have, I don't remember anymore]
Me: It's....just really sad.
Nikole: What? That you can't remember or that Wesley's head's big or that Wesley doesn't know that his head's big or that he can fall for the same gag twice or....
Me: Yes, yes, yes, and yes. And those other questions you have: the answer is yes.
Nikole: So I can bash Wesley with my hammer?!
Wesley: No.
Mayor: .....
Me: Oh, right! You, mayor...guy...
Mayor: Um....come in? But I dunno if I want you seven around my daughter anymore.....
Leroy: How old?
Mayor: Too young for you
Me: Oh, no girl is too young for Leroy! He likes to rock the cradle, don't ya Leroy?
Nikole: BURN!
Leroy: That cold.
Wesley: It's a burn, yet it's cold.....
Timoty: DON'T think. Thinking makes you die! No, wait that's talking....
Me: That's what I do.
Nikole: Talking or thinking or dying or....??
Me: Burning Leroy and Wesley and everybody else in my path!!!
Ania: We're ignoring the mayor guy again.
All: Sorry! What did you need?
Mayor: I was gunna talk to you about the Kamuy situation but then again.....
Wesley: No, it's okay, we'll be good.
(Enter the Mayor's daughter, Fa. She doesn't talk and she quickly attaches herself to Ania's legs)
Mayor: This is my daughter
Me: Down, Leroy
Leroy: You cold
Me: The Ice Queen
Ania: Hi there.
Fa: *still attached to Ania's leg*
Mayor: Seems she's taken a liking to you
Timoty: God knows why
Ania: *smacks Timoty*
Wesley: That's SIX times!
Boberto: I already won the bet, Wesley but *pats him on the back* nice try
Ania: What's your name?
Mayor: She doesn't speak....well, I mean, she USED to speak but then she was attacked by the wolf, Kamuy. This same Kamuy took her best friend, Teo, into the Evergreen Forest with it. Fa hasn't spoken since.
Me, Ania, Nikole: Aaaaaaawwwwwwwww you poor thing!
Wesley: What was Teo doing with a wolf anyway?
Mayor: It used to be this cute little cub, but something happened and it turned into a rabid beast. It's very unusual.
Wesley: Hmmm, yes, indeed *strokes his chin*
Nikole: Bullssshhhh --
Ania: *cover's Fa's ears*
Nikole: *very quietly* Bullshit
Wesley: I didn't say anything!
Me: Ah, yes, but you looked like you were thinking -- that's bullshit right there
Ania: Please! The child!
Me: Oh, like she'll repeat it.
Mayor: Before you corrupt my daughter, can I ask that you take care of the Kamuy situation?
All: Yes, you may ask.
Mayor: ..... will you take care of the Kamy situation?
All: Sure. Whatever.
Mayor: Great! I'll ignore the fact that you all are complete mental cases and invite you to stay the night!
All: Yay!
~ ~ ~
(After we are fed dinner, Fa is still attached to Ania, but she's starting to yawn constantly)
Ania: Are you tired? You wanna go to bed?
Fa: *nods*
Ania: Okay, I'll lie down with you
[The way Shana says it in the actual game sounds really wrong to me ("let's go to bed together" _) ....but maybe I just have a sick mind. That might be it.]
Timoty: Aww, I never knew you had it in you
Ania: Had what in me?
Timoty: The ability to be nice
Ania: *smack*
Boberto: Maybe you shouldn't talk to her the the duration of the story.
Timoty: That might be best
[Okay, this is the part where Ania/Shana sings a sweet little lullaby to Fa, and Timoty/Haschel recognizes it and has ANOTHER flashback to Rogue -- a different one, though -- and then Ania/Shana tells him that Wesley/Dart's mother sang it to him (Dart). The moment you, the Readers, and Timoty/Haschel find out that he is Wesley/Dart's grandfather. BUT NO ONE ELSE MUST KNOW!! It's a terrible secret, you know]
Timoty: Yeah, like I would tell any of them that I'm related to HIM *refers to the oblivious Wesley* -- do you know how much Tina would make fun of me?!
[Alot, actually. And I would know. Anyway, I'm explaining it you the Readers instead of the characters "acting" it, so to speak, because 1) Ania can't sing]
Ania: Yes I can!
[No, mouthing imaginary words to songs you don't know does NOT count as singing]
Ania: *pouts*
Nikole: HEY!! *Pouts*
Boberto: Please, no more pouting contests
[And 2) the whole Wesley-Timoty relationship is just....wrong....as is everything else in this god damn fic]
All: Damn skippy
Ania: She's asleep. Where did Wesley go?
Boberto: Outside. On the roof.
Nikole: Oh, I hope he doesn't fall or jump off
[Nah, he wouldn't -- besides, even if he did, he's expendable]
Wesley: Thanks. I REALLY feel loved now.
[No problem]
Ania: *goes outside on the roof* What's on your mind?
Wesley: Nothing, really
[Well I coulda told you that]
Wesley: Why don't you just go away?
[No -- I'm omnipresent, remember? You DO know what omnipresent means?]
Wesley: Yes
[Liar]
Ania: Then just be silent for a while -- I'm trying to move on with the story!!
[Well exCUSE me, of course I'll follow your orders Your Majesty]
Boberto: That's me!!
Wesley: .... anyway, I was just looking up at the Moon over there *points to the Moon That Never Sets*
Ania: You mean the one that never sets?
Wesley: Yeah. Sure. Ya know, the Moon has started to play a central role in our quest lately
Vicente/Binchenzo [who are, in fact, the same person]: I coulda told you that!!
All: ... and all the way from Tiberoa...or wherever the hell he is ...
Nikole: *now eavesdropping on Wesley and Ania* Bullshit!! Bullshit, bullshit, la la la la la la!
[Bullshit count so far: 12]
Ania: *clutches her head* OW!
Wesley: What's wrong?
Ania: *Dragoon Spirit glows and she begins to shake* My head.....it hurts! And I'm....losing control of my Spirit!!
Wesley: Hey! Someone help us up here!
Ania: *faints*
Nikole: Oh my god!
[I don't remember whether she faints there or not, but I thought it was a nice touch]
~ ~ ~
(The following morning.....)
Mayor: Is your friend alright?
Wesley: Yeah, she'll be fine...she's done this alot and nothing long term has happened yet
Timoty: Are you sure? I mean...
Me: Actually, she's been like that for a while.
Ania: I'M RIGHT HERE!!
All: WE'RE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!! NO SHOUTING!!
Mayor: So, you will take care of Kamuy? You seven are probably crazy enough to actually beat him
Me: Oh, you have NO idea how crazy we REALLY are *eye twitch*
Mayor: I believe you. Good bye *pushes us out of his house*
All: Rude
(Wandering through the Evergreen Forest. We will be doing this alot.)
Me: *whistles the tune "Heigh-Ho"*
Nikole: *singing along with me* Heigh-ho! Heigh-ho! It's off to fight we go! Another enemy is about to die HEIGH-HO! Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, heigh- ho....
Wesley: That's pretty clever, did you just make that up?
Nikole: Actually, I've been working on that since we arrived at the mayor's house
Me: I would expect that from Wesley, but Nikole.....not you.....
[Don't act so surprised, you're the one developing her character]
Me: No, that would be you
[Oh yeah]
Wesley: Is she arguing with herself??
Me: Ya know, maybe I WILL let Nikole test her mallet on you
Nikole: YAY!!
Boberto: Hey, look over there!
Me: I think most of us are smart enough to not fall for that trick, Boberto (key word: most *glares at Wesley*).
Wesley: I didn't do anything!
Me: But it's a nice attempt at changing the subject.
Boberto: Seriously, there's a kid on top of a wolf over there!
Timoty: Sounds like a personal problem to me.
Kamuy: *roar*
(Realizing that Boberto was telling the truth, we whipped our heads around and noticed Sir Harris from the village and the rest of the eager warriors, especially "Brutus")
Harris: Teo! Please, come down here! You must leave Kamuy!
Teo: No! Kamuy's not bad! He didn't attack Fa, he saved her!
Harris: He's dangerous!
Brutus: Enough talking, I want that five times larger prize!
Teo: No!
Kamuy: *roars, then knocks down Harris and the warriors and flees for another part of the forest*
Wesley: Interesting...
Ania: I dunno what Teo's on, that animal looks like a threat to society to me
Me: Like you?
Timoty: I was gunna say that!
Boberto: I wanna know what KAMUY'S on...probably massive stereoids....he looks like he could join major league baseball
Me and Leroy: *death glare*
Timoty: I wouldn't say that around the avid Dodgers fans *discretely points to me and Leroy*
Boberto: Thanks, I coulda used that information two minutes ago.
Nikole: I say we follow them!! Onward! *Races toward where Kamuy ran off to*
All: Whatever
(We follow Kamuy and the group to a dead end in the Evergreen Forest. There is an opportunity for you to retreat, but it's not like this boss is hard or anything, so don't be afraid and go ahead and beat the crap outta the stereoid-induced wolf)
Teo: Please don't hurt Kamuy!
Harris: You can't protect him forever!
Brutus: I want that prize! *Swings at the wolf*
Kamuy: *roars, and pins down Brutus*
Brutus: No! Please don't kill me! *Cries*
All: How pathetic
Harris: You folks! Do something already!
Wesley: *draws his sword* Fine, fine, we'll kill the damn thing
Teo: Stoooooooooooooppp!!
*Screen dissolves, battle begins*
(The worst thing this puppy can do is stun your people and pin them onto the ground and eat them. And Wesley/Dart doesn't even do his special move at the end! I told you, random boss to make the disk [and this chapter] longer. By the way: the five times larger prize refers to five times larger than 100 G [which is 500 G for all you math geniuses, which I am not]. That's how much dinero you get for killing Kamuy)
Teo: Kamuy! No, please don't die!
Me: Sorry kid, we hardly ever leave them alive
All: That's mean!
Me: I know, but I gotta keep up my mysterious cold-hearted bitch image.
Ania: I may be contradicting myself, but *pulls out her Dragoon Spirit*.... White-Silver Dragon, heal Kamuy!
(The effects of Kamuy's stereoids wear off and he returns to being a happy little puppy dog)
Teo: Yay!
All: Bullshit!
Ania: What?! I did something nice!
Wesley: You couldn't have done that when Melvin was near death?!
Ania: Oh....I guess I didn't think of it at the time.
All: Bullshit
[Bullshit grand total (spoken dialogue only): 14]