Author's Note: I just have to clear something up -- I know that in the
Prologue, I said that we were all about to enter our sophomore year of high
school (except for Wesley and Jimbo, they're a year older than the rest of
us) but somewhere between the Prologue and chapter 24 we all became a year
older. So now we are all officially juniors except for Wesley and Jimbo
who are seniors. Just had to mention that. Anyway, Miranda fans -- the
chapter you've all been waiting for!! (And Miranda haters -- the chapter
you've been dreading!!). Censor man, be ready!
Disclaimer: I don't own LoD and that's it
Chapter 25: The F*cking New Girl
(We enter the Crystal Palace, thankfully without any problems from the gatekeeper)
Tiberioan Officer: I'm still watching you
Me and Wesley: MY GOD!! GET OVER IT ALREADY!!
(And we head straight for the throne room, where we find a tiny brunette wearing Miranda's clothes and accessories, as well a ring on each finger, claw-like purple nails, and heavy eyeliner, "debriefing" a Sacred Knight)
Sacred Knight: I assure you, Sister Lorena, the knighthood has the monster problem under control.
First Sacred Sister Lorena: Do you have any idea what the f*ck you are up against?!
Sacred Knight: Well....yes....I believe I do....
Lorena: *smack* You f*cking idiot! Don't underestimate the power of a Dragon, especially the Divine Dragon.
Sacred Knight: *lip quivers* I'm sorry, Sister.
(When I say debrief, I mean rip his self esteem to shreds -- and smack him around a bit)
All: Damn!
Me: Dark Evil One!
Lorena: Lady Pimptress! *Hug*
Wesley: What is this?
Me: She's only been my best friend since kindergarten!
Wesley: I see where the bitchiness comes from
Lorena: Did you just call me a bitch?!
(Lorena advances on Wesley, and even though he is twice her size, he retreats like a wippering pup)
Wesley: No! No, not at all...I was calling Tina's behavior "bitchy"
Me: After we meet with the queen, you're a dead man.
Boberto: You just sealed your fate, Wesley my man
Timoty: Yup, you just sentenced yourself to endless torment for the rest of this game
Nikole: And you still got me and my hammer!! *Twirls her hammer*
Ania: I wish I could help ya, Wesley, but....
Leroy: Me feel bad for Wesley.
Wesley: God must hate me.
Queen Megan: Please, please, calm down Lorena
Lorena: *deep breath* Fine.
Queen Megan: Alejandra, Sandra, please introduce us to your guests.
Sandra: Of course, Your Majesty. These are the Dragoons and we have asked for their assistance in defeating the Divine Dragon
Lorena: They better know more about it than our incompetant knighthood
Knighthood: *cries*
Queen Megan: I am Megan, Queen of Mille Seseau and you have already met three of my four Sacred Sisters....oh, and this is Katherine, the Third Sacred Sister
Katherine: Hi
[Yes, that is the same Sacred Sister that Jimbo saved from bandits in Donau. But that will come into play later.]
Me: We'll get right to business -- we need to know where the Dragon lives.
Queen Megan: Of course -- the ancient Winglies imprisoned the Divine Dragon in the Mount of Mortal Dragon some thousands of years ago. And there are two weapons that can weaken him.
Me: The Dragon Buster --
Wesley: The same sword that Jimbo used to kill Melvin? Does that mean that Jimbo is trying to control the beast?!
Me: *gasp* You actually made the connection!! OMG calendar moment!!
Timoty: Stop the presses! Wesley has made the connection!!
Wesley: God REALLY hates me
Ania: ANYWAY, what's the other weapon?
Me: Why don't you ask Nikole -- I think she knows what it is and where it's hidden.
Nikole: Why ask me?
Me: You know. Trust me.
Nikole: Alright! It's the Dragon Block Staff and it's locked up in the Wingly Forest, in the north end of the Evergreen Forest.
Boberto: But we were just in the Evergreen Forest, and I never saw any Winglies
Nikole: That's because it's HIDDEN by a magical FORCEFIELD duh
Ania: How do you know that?
Nikole: Because....I know everything?
Me: Nope. My line.
Leroy: Used that joke last chapter
[Dammit]
Queen Megan: You mean Winglies are still alive?
Nikole: {*whew* She saved my ass}
Me: Yes, in fact, we already encountered one in Tiberoa
[When I say encounter I mean kill]
Queen Megan: I see....well, that this mean that you will go to the Winglies and implore for their weapon?
All: ... sure....
Lorena: I'm coming too.
Queen Megan: Are you sure?
Lorena: I will be an ambassador for you, Your Majesty
Wesley: Uh....well, as the leader of the group....I dunno if you could...uh...
Me: Who made YOU the leader of the group?
Boberto: Yeah, I'm the king here!
Lorena: I'm coming. *Death glare*
Wesley: Please don't hurt me
Alejandra: What I don't understand is --
Me: How Wesley could think that HE is the leader of the group....
Alejandra: No. I don't understand the reason that the Dragon attacked our city....I could see into the Divine Dragon's soul and I saw great hatred and revenge toward the city....it was very frightening.
Me: Well, during the rule of Winglies, the Crystal Palace used to be a floating city run by Winglies, and it was the Winglies who imprisoned the Divine Dragon....the Divine Dragon was looking for the Winglies who imprisoned him and since he was locked up for over ten thousand years, no one informed him that Humans have gained control of the world and the Crystal Palace.
(The royal family just stares blankly at me)
Me: I know everything.
Timoty: Believe me -- EVERYTHING.
Royal Family: Oh.
Queen Megan: Anyway, please make haste in your mission, for we do not know when the Divine Dragon will make his next raid.
All: Riiight
Timoty: Why don't YOU talk like that, Boberto? Ya know, all educated and stuff like that
Boberto: I speak very good, and I got me a good edumication.
Timoty: I have nothing to say to that.
(Walking through the halls of the Crystal Palace....but wait a minute, I think we're missing someone)
Wesley: Where's Ania?
Lorena: Aw crap, we just get f*cking started on the journey and we already have set backs?
Wesley: Language, please! She's probably just with the queen.
(Back to the throne room)
Katherine: Oh, Ania? Uh, she went in the back room *points*
(The back room is large and nearly empty, except for that little ball of glowing light attached to the ceiling....what the hell is that, anyway?)
Wesley: Ania, are you okay?
Ania: *snaps out of a trance* Wha?
Wesley: Are you okay?
Ania: I dunno...where am I? How did I get here?
Nikole: OMG she has AMNESIA!! She must have hit her head! Quick, someone do something!
Me: Maybe an equally strong impact to her head will revamp her memory
Ania: Stop it! I don't have amnesia! I just...don't remember how I got here
[A classic dissociative moment]
Lorena: This is the room where the Signet Sphere is held. Why the f*ck do you care?
Me: Did it call you? Like the Virage?
Boberto and Timoty: VIRAGE?! Holy crap!! *draws weapons*
Me: Dumbasses
Ania: *bends down, shaking* My head hurts again!! *DS glows, nearly blinding all of us* I can't control the Spirit anymore!!
(Ania's DS departs her body, much like it would if she died, and it hung in the air for a minute before landing in front of Lorena)
Wesley: *catches Ania -- she fainted again*
Boberto: Damn, second time in three chapters.
Lorena: WTF is this? Hey, answer me!!
~ ~ ~
(Now we've relocated to the guest bedroom, with Ania sitting on the bed.)
Ania: I knew this would happen...every since Wesley and I gazed up at the Moon that night in Furni. I'm sorry guys, I don't think I can go to the Mount of Mortal Dragon with you.
[We've been trying for three disks to get rid of Ania, and we have finally succeeded.]
All: *looks at me, making me feel uncomfortable*
Me: What? I'm just following the storyline.
Lorena: I still don't understand what this thing is! Why the f*ck won't someone answer me?
Timoty: Why the f*ck do you insist on saying f*ck?
Lorena: Because I f*cking want to!
Me: It's a Dragoon Spirit, Lorena. You grow wings and funky-cool armor and are able to perform magical spells, which, in your case, heal people.
Lorena: Oh. Okay. That's all you f*cking had to say!
Wesley: Ania, we'll come back for you after we defeat the Divine Dragon. You should be better by then *begins to leave*
Nikole: Awww, no good-bye kiss? *giggles*
Wesley and Ania: Don't push it
Nikole: Fine then
(And on that endearing little moment, the Dragoons slowly exit the chamber, with the newest one, Lorena, bringing up the rear. Ania calls her back.)
Ania: Lorena? Take care of the rest for me, okay?
Lorena: Okay.
(Maybe I WILL end on an endearing moment)
Nikole: BULLSHIT!!
(Or maybe I won't)
Disclaimer: I don't own LoD and that's it
Chapter 25: The F*cking New Girl
(We enter the Crystal Palace, thankfully without any problems from the gatekeeper)
Tiberioan Officer: I'm still watching you
Me and Wesley: MY GOD!! GET OVER IT ALREADY!!
(And we head straight for the throne room, where we find a tiny brunette wearing Miranda's clothes and accessories, as well a ring on each finger, claw-like purple nails, and heavy eyeliner, "debriefing" a Sacred Knight)
Sacred Knight: I assure you, Sister Lorena, the knighthood has the monster problem under control.
First Sacred Sister Lorena: Do you have any idea what the f*ck you are up against?!
Sacred Knight: Well....yes....I believe I do....
Lorena: *smack* You f*cking idiot! Don't underestimate the power of a Dragon, especially the Divine Dragon.
Sacred Knight: *lip quivers* I'm sorry, Sister.
(When I say debrief, I mean rip his self esteem to shreds -- and smack him around a bit)
All: Damn!
Me: Dark Evil One!
Lorena: Lady Pimptress! *Hug*
Wesley: What is this?
Me: She's only been my best friend since kindergarten!
Wesley: I see where the bitchiness comes from
Lorena: Did you just call me a bitch?!
(Lorena advances on Wesley, and even though he is twice her size, he retreats like a wippering pup)
Wesley: No! No, not at all...I was calling Tina's behavior "bitchy"
Me: After we meet with the queen, you're a dead man.
Boberto: You just sealed your fate, Wesley my man
Timoty: Yup, you just sentenced yourself to endless torment for the rest of this game
Nikole: And you still got me and my hammer!! *Twirls her hammer*
Ania: I wish I could help ya, Wesley, but....
Leroy: Me feel bad for Wesley.
Wesley: God must hate me.
Queen Megan: Please, please, calm down Lorena
Lorena: *deep breath* Fine.
Queen Megan: Alejandra, Sandra, please introduce us to your guests.
Sandra: Of course, Your Majesty. These are the Dragoons and we have asked for their assistance in defeating the Divine Dragon
Lorena: They better know more about it than our incompetant knighthood
Knighthood: *cries*
Queen Megan: I am Megan, Queen of Mille Seseau and you have already met three of my four Sacred Sisters....oh, and this is Katherine, the Third Sacred Sister
Katherine: Hi
[Yes, that is the same Sacred Sister that Jimbo saved from bandits in Donau. But that will come into play later.]
Me: We'll get right to business -- we need to know where the Dragon lives.
Queen Megan: Of course -- the ancient Winglies imprisoned the Divine Dragon in the Mount of Mortal Dragon some thousands of years ago. And there are two weapons that can weaken him.
Me: The Dragon Buster --
Wesley: The same sword that Jimbo used to kill Melvin? Does that mean that Jimbo is trying to control the beast?!
Me: *gasp* You actually made the connection!! OMG calendar moment!!
Timoty: Stop the presses! Wesley has made the connection!!
Wesley: God REALLY hates me
Ania: ANYWAY, what's the other weapon?
Me: Why don't you ask Nikole -- I think she knows what it is and where it's hidden.
Nikole: Why ask me?
Me: You know. Trust me.
Nikole: Alright! It's the Dragon Block Staff and it's locked up in the Wingly Forest, in the north end of the Evergreen Forest.
Boberto: But we were just in the Evergreen Forest, and I never saw any Winglies
Nikole: That's because it's HIDDEN by a magical FORCEFIELD duh
Ania: How do you know that?
Nikole: Because....I know everything?
Me: Nope. My line.
Leroy: Used that joke last chapter
[Dammit]
Queen Megan: You mean Winglies are still alive?
Nikole: {*whew* She saved my ass}
Me: Yes, in fact, we already encountered one in Tiberoa
[When I say encounter I mean kill]
Queen Megan: I see....well, that this mean that you will go to the Winglies and implore for their weapon?
All: ... sure....
Lorena: I'm coming too.
Queen Megan: Are you sure?
Lorena: I will be an ambassador for you, Your Majesty
Wesley: Uh....well, as the leader of the group....I dunno if you could...uh...
Me: Who made YOU the leader of the group?
Boberto: Yeah, I'm the king here!
Lorena: I'm coming. *Death glare*
Wesley: Please don't hurt me
Alejandra: What I don't understand is --
Me: How Wesley could think that HE is the leader of the group....
Alejandra: No. I don't understand the reason that the Dragon attacked our city....I could see into the Divine Dragon's soul and I saw great hatred and revenge toward the city....it was very frightening.
Me: Well, during the rule of Winglies, the Crystal Palace used to be a floating city run by Winglies, and it was the Winglies who imprisoned the Divine Dragon....the Divine Dragon was looking for the Winglies who imprisoned him and since he was locked up for over ten thousand years, no one informed him that Humans have gained control of the world and the Crystal Palace.
(The royal family just stares blankly at me)
Me: I know everything.
Timoty: Believe me -- EVERYTHING.
Royal Family: Oh.
Queen Megan: Anyway, please make haste in your mission, for we do not know when the Divine Dragon will make his next raid.
All: Riiight
Timoty: Why don't YOU talk like that, Boberto? Ya know, all educated and stuff like that
Boberto: I speak very good, and I got me a good edumication.
Timoty: I have nothing to say to that.
(Walking through the halls of the Crystal Palace....but wait a minute, I think we're missing someone)
Wesley: Where's Ania?
Lorena: Aw crap, we just get f*cking started on the journey and we already have set backs?
Wesley: Language, please! She's probably just with the queen.
(Back to the throne room)
Katherine: Oh, Ania? Uh, she went in the back room *points*
(The back room is large and nearly empty, except for that little ball of glowing light attached to the ceiling....what the hell is that, anyway?)
Wesley: Ania, are you okay?
Ania: *snaps out of a trance* Wha?
Wesley: Are you okay?
Ania: I dunno...where am I? How did I get here?
Nikole: OMG she has AMNESIA!! She must have hit her head! Quick, someone do something!
Me: Maybe an equally strong impact to her head will revamp her memory
Ania: Stop it! I don't have amnesia! I just...don't remember how I got here
[A classic dissociative moment]
Lorena: This is the room where the Signet Sphere is held. Why the f*ck do you care?
Me: Did it call you? Like the Virage?
Boberto and Timoty: VIRAGE?! Holy crap!! *draws weapons*
Me: Dumbasses
Ania: *bends down, shaking* My head hurts again!! *DS glows, nearly blinding all of us* I can't control the Spirit anymore!!
(Ania's DS departs her body, much like it would if she died, and it hung in the air for a minute before landing in front of Lorena)
Wesley: *catches Ania -- she fainted again*
Boberto: Damn, second time in three chapters.
Lorena: WTF is this? Hey, answer me!!
~ ~ ~
(Now we've relocated to the guest bedroom, with Ania sitting on the bed.)
Ania: I knew this would happen...every since Wesley and I gazed up at the Moon that night in Furni. I'm sorry guys, I don't think I can go to the Mount of Mortal Dragon with you.
[We've been trying for three disks to get rid of Ania, and we have finally succeeded.]
All: *looks at me, making me feel uncomfortable*
Me: What? I'm just following the storyline.
Lorena: I still don't understand what this thing is! Why the f*ck won't someone answer me?
Timoty: Why the f*ck do you insist on saying f*ck?
Lorena: Because I f*cking want to!
Me: It's a Dragoon Spirit, Lorena. You grow wings and funky-cool armor and are able to perform magical spells, which, in your case, heal people.
Lorena: Oh. Okay. That's all you f*cking had to say!
Wesley: Ania, we'll come back for you after we defeat the Divine Dragon. You should be better by then *begins to leave*
Nikole: Awww, no good-bye kiss? *giggles*
Wesley and Ania: Don't push it
Nikole: Fine then
(And on that endearing little moment, the Dragoons slowly exit the chamber, with the newest one, Lorena, bringing up the rear. Ania calls her back.)
Ania: Lorena? Take care of the rest for me, okay?
Lorena: Okay.
(Maybe I WILL end on an endearing moment)
Nikole: BULLSHIT!!
(Or maybe I won't)