Author's Note: Long gaps between updating is hereby the fault of AP tests. This chapter offers a new interpretation of the Divine Dragon. If you don't like it, tough. By the way, I'm basing the Divine Dragon on this guy at my school who is really nice and says that he is "straight as an arrow," but his mannerisms suggest that of a Queer Eye guy. So the Divine Dragon is straight as an arrow! But you can be the judge of that...... PS: astericks have now been replaced with due to technical problems
Disclaimer: I don't own LoD or Sony or any of that shit.
Chapter 28: The Queen of Dragons
(After once again using the green teleporting devices, we arrived back at the Wingly Forest)
Ancestor Swaim: Oh, you guys are still alive
Timoty: Yeah, remind me to kick your ass when we get outta this place!
Boberto: A double ass-kicking -- I still need to get ya back for tieing me to that steak in Hellena!
Ancestor Swaim: You liked it.
Me: Hello?! We need to get to Dennigrad.
Ancestor Swaim: Oh. Well, I'll teleport you attempts to teleport us Nevermind. I don't have enough power.
Roddy: I'll help! Helps with the teleporting
Nikole: Roddy! You DO love me!
Nikole's Mom and Dad: We'll help too! Helps with the teleporting
Nikole: Mommy! Daddy!
Nikole's Dad: We'll help Nikole and her friends save the country!
(How touching. Everybody now -- )
All: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
VIDEO TIME
(Some poor soul is riding one of his horse things toward Dennigrad when darkness covers the sky and dust flies all around. The source -- the Divine Dragon and his seven giant wings)
Divine Dragon: I'm not that fat am I?!
(No, sweetie. You're beautiful.)
Divine Dragon: girlish giggle....oh, 'suze me, I gotta go destroy Dennigrad
(You do that. Anyway, the Divine Dragon hovers over Dennigrad and releases the Divine Dragon Ball -- windows shattering, buildings collasping, people screaming, the whole nine yards. If that wasn't enough, the Divine Dragon flies to the nearest cliff and shoots the Divine Dragon Cannon directly at the Crystal Palace. The top half of the structure shatters and a mysterious yellow light shoots up to the Moon That Never Sets, covering the Moon's surface briefly with a yellow light. Hmmmm.....)
(After the Divine Dragon was completely satisfied with the demoliton, he returns to the Mount of Mortal Dragon to do...whatever he does. Frankly, I don't wanna know.)
Divine Dragon: Byyyyyye honey! kiss kiss
(Right. Enter our heroes)
Lorena: Holy shit!
Boberto: Damn, I would hate to be the person who cleans this up in the morning.
Timoty: I wonder how many times you've said that before
Boberto: Only every time my brother has his stoner friends over
White Chocolate: Bizznatch!
All: ...
Lorena: Pay attention!! The Crystal Palace!! Queen Megan!!
Leroy: Speak in complete sentences!!
Me: Says the man who speaks English as a second language
(We followed Lorena as she raced for the ruined Crystal Palace)
Leroy: Runs fast for little one
(Inside the Crystal Palace, we find the stairway to the guest bedroom completely collasped in, and Alejandra and Sandra lay crying beside it)
Wesley: Ania's room! Where is she? Is she okay?
Sandra: She went into the throne room -- we'll take you there
(In the throne room, Ania sat dazed and confused in front of Queen Megan and Sister Katherine. The room to the Signet Sphere also is collasped in. Hmmm....)
Lorena: My queen! You're alright?
Megan: Yes....it was quite strange....
Wesley: Ania, what happened?
Ania: I'm not sure.....I came out of my room, and came here cuz I felt something funny....
Megan: Then, the Divine Dragon attacked, and Ania protected us!
Sandra: Us, too! Was it a white light?
Katherine: Yes, a white light! Coming from Ania's body!
Me: This sounds like weird business...even for the seven of us
Boberto: I agree.
Wesley: Ania, I really don't think you should continue the journey with us
Ania: Yeah, that sounds like....a good...idea passes out
Me: Oh Christ
All: glares
Me: What?!
Timoty: Leave it to you to ruin a serious moment
Lorena: Oh shut the f-ck up
Me: Thank you
(I doubt that Ania passes out there, but it serves as a nice transition between the Crystal Palace and the hotel, where Ania was now boarding. Our group says our sweet little good-byes and me and Lorena establish some tension, and Wesley doesn't even say good-bye)
Nikole: You are a horrible fake-video-game-boyfriend!
(And we are off to the Mount of Mortal Dragon! The Mount of Mortal Dragon itself is very confusing and we got ourselves lost a couple hundred times before the top of the mountain became visible and we heard swords clashing and deep, low growls)
Divine Dragon: Owwwwww! Stoop it, I just got my claws done!!!!!
Jimbo: You disappoint me.
All: More like high-pitched whining.
Me: Well, it sounds like Jimbo can't control the beast, so he's gunna beat the crap outta of it first.
Wesley: sarcasm No wonder he can't control the Dragon....it's just so aggressive and relentless. It's the Queen of Dragons.
Me: gasp Do I detect a hint of sarcasm, dear Wesley?
Wesley: Obviously, if it says sarcasm before my words
All: OH MY GOD!!!!!
Timoty: Wesley, you just punked Tina!! Maybe you do have balls after all
Me: Pssh. You're just jealous that Jimbo's more of a bad-ass than you are. Let's just keep going.
Boberto: patting Wesley on the back Ya know, Timoty and I have new found respect for you, Wesley. Whispering in a low voice But we WILL deny it if Tina askes.
(More confusing tunnels. Oh joy. But soon, we climb to the top of the mountain and find Jimbo, holding the Dragon Buster, stumbling away from the battle and panting. We approach him with our weapons drawn)
Jimbo: Bout damn time you showed up.
Wesley: Oh, need our help, do you?
Jimbo: No. I sensed your movements at the bottom of the mountain. Got lost, did you? Tina, why would you let Wesley lead then?
Me: blushing Well....I..um....
Wesley: What are you doing here, Jimbo?! What are your intentions?!
Jimbo: You will know in time....he (or she) is almost dead. I assume that you can handle him/her/it now.
All: shrugs Okay then.
(And we race into battle, yelling out our battle cry!!)
Nikole: MEW!!!!!!!
All (including the Divine Dragon): blink blink
Nikole: What? Not a good battle cry?
Divine Dragon: finger snaps and rubber neck Oh no you didnt
Screen dissolves, battle begins
(The Divine Dragon, like his ambigiously gay alter-ego, is not as intimidating as he/she/it would like us to believe. First, attack the Divine Cannon because that weapon will do the most damage. Next attack the Dragon Ball, and then finally the Divine Dragon him/her/itself. Once the Divine Cannon and Ball are gone, all the Dragon can do is use items and slap you with a gay little flick of the wrist)
Me: Ya know, when you called the Divine Dragon the Queen of Dragons, I think you were actually right Wesley.
(But the Divine Dragon dies, and becomes the only villian where you can go back and revist its dead body. Now for the post-battle)
Earth shakes and spilts as the Divine Dragon falls to its death
Divine Dragon: You bitches...I'm still prettier than you dies
Me: Drama queen to the end.
(But my condscending chuckling is cut short by Jimbo leaping bounds to reach the dead Dragon, slicing its biggest eyes open with the Dragon Buster. We could only watch in amazement as a small white and green light left the body of the Divine Dragon, hovered above Jimbo, and then floated into his hands as a small crystal pebble)
Jimbo: The Dragoon Spirit of the Divine Dragon, the very soul of the Divine Dragon. As I expected, it does not sparkle in my hands. No matter disappears
Wesley: He's headed down the mountain!
(The pursuit takes us back down the mountain, and we do catch up with Jimbo...too bad he uses his WINGLY magic to shoot a fireball and me and Wesley and disappear off the mountain.)
Boberto: Tina! Wesley!
(Again. We are separated from the group. Don't worry we're just dangling off a cliff, and I am barely conscious because I hit my head. My only hope is Wesley and the croonies above. God help me.)
Croonies above: We heard that!!
Wesley: Damn, I didn't know he was a Wingly! Tina? Tina, are you alright?
Me: lying on the ground, gently touches Wesley's face It's you, Mateo...don't worry, I've taken back our world....the Crystal Sphere was destroyed, but I know how to stop it....Moon Child....Black Monster.... passes out
Wesley: What?! What about the Black Monster?! Who's Mateo?! Tina, what do you know?!
Nikole: Wesley! Tina! Oh, guys, I found them! Don't worry Wesley, I'm bringing you guys up!
(Nikole uses her Wingly skills once again to carry me, then Wesley back up to the rest of the group)
All: Don't you mean croonies?!
(Joking guys, this is a humor fic. Anyway....)
Nikole: Damn, Wesley! You weigh like a ton!
Wesley: Shut up
Boberto: Well, now Tina can't knock on Ania for passing out all the time
Lorena: Well, Ania's passed out like five times compared to her one
Me: And I hit my head on the way down rubs the back of my neck Ow...
Wesley: You were rambling about a guy named Mateo and the Black Monster down there...what do you know?!
Me: Why so many "?!" Geez, it's not that urgent.....I dunno, I musta been delurious. Let's go back to Dennigrad and check on Ania.
Boberto: aside to Timoty She musta hit her head REALLY hard if SHE'S the one who's worried about Ania
.....
Katherine: Knights, halt.
Knights: halt
Katherine: It's been about a week since the cries of the Divine Dragon stopped...
Knight: Yeah, which means the "Queer Eye" soundtrack doesn't play anymore
All other Knights: cheers
Katherine: But we still haven't ran into Lorena or the others. I wonder where they could be?
(Younger Bardel appears out of nowhere. Breaking the commandment, are we?)
Bardel: Stupid Humans!! You will pay for your crimes against my people!! Shoots fireballs at the knights
Knights: fall to their assumed demise
Katherine: Please, have mercy! We have done nothing to harm you!
Bardel: Ignorant Human! You do not deserve to live!
Jimbo: mysteriously appears On the contrary, it is YOU you does not deserve to live.
Bardel: Who the hell are you?! Shoots fireball at Jimbo
Jimbo: creates a magical shield Poor, rash, young Wingly. You think these deaths will quench your petty revenge? I have bigger things to deal with than you deflects his fireball at Bardel
Bardel: dies
[How random]
(Hey, I had to get rid of him somehow)
Katherine: Mr. Jimbo! From Donau!
Jimbo: Yes falls to his knees
Katherine: Oh! You are wounded! Let me take you back to the Crystal Palace with me.
(And she, Jimbo, and some remaining knights return to the Palace)
[Oooooooh, I feel something sinister afoot....]
...
(You think that would be a good place to end the chapter, right? Well, no. Sorry, have to abide by my quotas. Our troupe has now successfully returned to the Crystal Palace to once again find the other three Sacred Sisters in tears, most especially, Katherine.)
Lorena: What happened?! Where's Queen Megan?!
[Lots of people with double-puncutated dialogue. Well, LoD won't have it any other way.]
Alejandra: the only one with a level head It happened only yesterday...maybe I can explain it better with a flashback.
FLASHBACK
Katherine: Queen Megan, I was returning from the Mount of Mortal Dragon, in hoping to catch Lorena and her companions --
Wesley: Since when did Lorena become the new leader?!
Alejandra: One must NEVER interrupt the flashback!!
Katherine: -- but I could not, so I returned home. But in the Evergreen Forest, my knights and I ran into a vengeful young Wingly. He killed off most of my men, but I (and some others) survived because of him! Mr. Jimbo!
Megan: You have saved Katherine twice -- she told us about the incident in Donau. You must be a kind and brave soul for doing so.
Jimbo: I was just in the right place at the right time
Alejandra: Tell me, Mr. Jimbo, did you run into Lorena and the others?
Jimbo: No. I was no where near the Mount of Mortal Dragon
Alejandra: He lies. I can see his black heart! Your Majesty, his malicious intentions are directed towards you!
Knights: surround Jimbo
Jimbo: Well, damn, you spoiled the surprise. Oh well teleports to directly in front of Megan and grabs her You're coming with me, Your Majesty he and the queen disappear
END FLASHBACK
Alejandra: See? Much better when told with a flashback. And don't worry -- Ania is safe in the hotel.
Wesley: Where did they go?!
Lorena: You f-cking idiot!! He didn't say!! Weren't you watching the flashback?
Me: Wait a minute....Lorena, ya know Mille Seseau's Divine Moon Object?
Lorena: Ya mean the thing that's none of your f-cking business?
Me: Exactly -- where is it?
Lorena: In the Towel of Flanvel, why?
Me: That's where the Queen and Jimbo are.
All: Ooooooooooooh
Boberto: Wow.
Timoty: Tsk, tsk, Tina, it took you an entire flashback for you to figure that out.
Leroy: We expect better from Tina.
Me: Hey, I have a really REALLY big bump on the back of my head, okay? At least with me, it'll clear up soon. Sadly, we cannot say the same for Wesley.
All: bows head in pity for him
Wesley: I'm missing something again, aren't I?