Mark: Had yall thinking that it wasn't gonna come back didn't I? Well to the horror of many and to the pleasure of a few, The next Chapter of H&V is OUUUUUUUUUUUT!
Jon: Word to ya Mothas.
Mark: Hey Jon, what did the five fingers say to the face?
Jon: What?
Mark: SMACK! slaps Jon across the face
Disclaimer: Ok, looks like I'm the only sane one here…
Mark & Jon: Ya DAMN STRAIGHT!
Disclaimer:… Mark doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but you knew that already.
CHAPTER 2 The Crazy Minds of Crazy People and the Crazy Things Which Come Out of Their Mouths
Where we last left our less-than-sane fictional characters…
The boys had managed to convince Anzu, and Yami for that matter, to not go into Victoria's Secret. They were currently walking along, minding their own business, when the came upon what some might consider a strange sight, and had this been the actual show, a strange sight it would have bee, but not in my fic, muwahahahahahaha!!
"Thanks for the fun hun, now pay up…" Mai stated rather flatly to an older and rather unattractive man. Mai herself was wearing a revealing outfit.
"Hey dere Mai." Katsuya said mockingly. Mai blushed at the site of her friends.
"Oh, Hi guys!"
"And what exactly where ya doin here Mai?" Katsuya mocked again, getting great pleasure from the raucous situation. Yami and Bakura were busy checking out Mai. Anzu was busy giving her a nasty look. Ryou and Yugi where doing something educational however…
"These are panties." Ryou stated, pointing at Mai's waist. Yugi looked on intrigued, "Oh, I see."
The seven, including the now clothed Mai, where making their way through the halls and shops of the Mall, when they came upon yet an even stranger site than Mai…
"I WANNA GO TO THE 'MY LITTLE PONY' STORE!"
"I WANNA GO TO THE 'ANTHRAX AND OTHER NEFARIOUS SUBSTANCES' STORE!"
"WE WILL MARCH RIGHT BACK TO THAT FLYING CARPET AND GO BACK HOME TO DISCUSS MY ROOM IF YOU BOTH DON'T BE GOOD!"
The two blonde Egyptian boys fell in line, "We're sorry Isis."
"And you damn well should be."
Bakura looked on amused, "Well if it isn't the three stooges. I love your T.V. show." Anzu giggled slightly at the joke, causing Bakura to flush in his cheeks ever so slightly.
"Oh you need to shut up Baka-ru!" Marik yelled, he was fond of the new name he had given the white haired dead-man.
"Oh, somebody wants to get stabbed!" Bakura threatened.
Yugi jumped up and down excitedly, waving his hand in the air, "OOO, OOO, ME, ME, PICK ME! I WANNA BE STABBED!"
Everyone besides da midget: O.0''''''''''''''''''
Katsuya broke the silence, "Anywhoooo…"
Isis walked up to Yami, "Hi Yami…"
Yami answered slightly faster than was the status quo for his coolness level, "Hi Isis!"
Bakura, ever the jokester, didn't pass up this opportunity to exploit the oddness of his friends, "Wooooooooo, Pharaohs gotta giiirlfriend! Pharaoh's gotta giiirlfriend!"
Anzu seemed annoyed, 'Damn Bakura, so stupid.'
Bakura seemed aroused, 'Damn Anzu, so fine.'
Not too much later, they ran into another trio of characters, whom had another amusing story, amazing how every major character happens to be at this one mall, isn't it?
"Hello Brother!" Shizaku greeted happily.
"Hey sis." Katsuya responded.
"Hi Shizaku!" Everyone else greeted at once.
A duo of young boys known as Honda and Otogi appeared 'RIGHT' behind Shizaku, "Hi everybody!"
"Hi duo of young boys known as Honda and Otogi!" Everyone who didn't matter in this particular joke said warmly.
"Hey guys- wait justa minute here. What were you two clown shoes doin wit mah sista!"
Before either could respond, Shizaku provided an answer, "We were just fooling around with some balls."
Everyone besides Shizaku the Ditzy: O.O''''''''''''''''''
Katsuya flew at the two teens with all his rage, "YOU DARE DO DAT TA MAH SISTA! I'LL KILL YA!"
Honda and Otogi let out a cry for mercy right before they were enveloped in the anime dust cloud that had spawned from Katsuya.
Anzu approached the severely confused Shizaku, "I didn't know you were like that Shizaku."
"Oh ya, Honda and Otogi couldn't wait to show me how well they could handle their balls. I tried to handle the balls too, but they were just so big! I could barely fit my hands around them! They always managed to put their balls right in the tiny hole too! They managed to score a lot of points, something I could never do. Plus I've never used them before…"
"Ummm, Shizaku, you seem cheerful, normally that isn't a common reaction to the first time…"
"What, you mean all people don't love Ski Ball?"
Everyone: O.O"""""""""""
Katsuya came out of the fight, "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??"
Honda was twitching on the ground, covered in bruises and blood, " Ya man, we was at the arcade."
Otogi was mangled and black and blue all over, " Ya man, we thought she'd like Ski Ball."
"Oh, my bad guys." Katsuya said embarrassed.
Everyone: at Katsuya ';,,,;'
"Sooooo, what do ya guys say ta somthin ta eat, I'm starvin'!"
Everyone: -.-'''''''
Later, at Taco Kahns…
A waitress came over to the noises table she had ever had the displeasure of serving. "Here's your food folks, A Premature Babies Meal?
Yugi, "Here!"
"Crumpets and gray tea?"
Ryou, "Yes, that would be me!"
"A Hooker Special?"
Mai, "Right here hun!"
"A piece of lettuce…"
Anzu raised her hand embarrassed, "Don't tell me guys, I know I'm pigging out but I can't help it!"
Everyone: O.O''''
"A Hero Sub?"
Yami squealed like a little girl.
"A Bucket-o-Slop?"
Katsuya, "Right here!"
"An, I'm-to-sweet-for-my-own-damn-good Ice cream?"
Shizaku, "Thank you!"
"This can't be right, Umm, sand?"
All three Egyptians, "Yes!"
Everyone, again: O.O'''''''''
" A Die on Rye?"
Otogi, "God, dice turn me on, ya, over here. Hey baby you wanna catch my penis some time?"
"Umm, no. Umm, A brick?"
Honda licked his lips, "Boy, it's been a while since I've had nice warm Brick. Ra, I love to stuff all kinds of Brick in my mouth. There's nothing I love more that stuffing Brick down my throat and sucking on it to get out the flavor. Then maybe take it out and stuff it back down there just cause it taste sooooooooooo good. Then I might chew on that big, hard, Brick in my mouth. Why, when I was a young boy my dad would spend all day preparing our favorite meal, Brick with Special Sauce. Damn, I never have tasted anything better than my dad's big sweaty Brick. Why, on Sunday in Catholic School, the Father would let all of us kids choke down his massive amounts of Brick. I swear that man was just in the Church to hear the us little kids scream whenever he would show us the Brick he'd spent all yesterday warming up, and the moans of joy as we practically sucked down all his Brick. But the best part about Brick is the great taste it leaves in your mouth after your all done with it, mmmmmmm mmmm good."
"And um, wait, this is strange, a Steak Knife?"
Bakura,"Me!" He took the knife and stabbed himself with it, then took it back out and started eating it.
"And now, for your listening pleasure, I am proud to introduce to the Mall-o-Dom-I-No! 311½!"
The band started playing and everybody cheered, especially the girls at the Yuugi-Tasshi table.
Bakura was the first to speak up, "Why do you girls like bands so much?"
"Yea!" Yami and Marik agreed.
They all answered at once, "Because band guys are hot!"
The three Yami's looked at each other slyly, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking? WE'RE GONNA START A BAND!"
Isis laughed, "You're kidding right, you need people who play instruments."
Marik, "I got drums."
Bakura, "I got bass guitar!"
Yami, "I got lead guitar!"
Shizaku was the next to object, "You need people who play instruments WELL."
Yami, Bakura, and Marik: sniff
Yugi, Ryou, and Malik, "He plays well, he keeps me up at night."
Yami, Bakura, and Marik: beaming
Anzu, "Okay, okay, but you guys still need a lead singer."
Thus came the storm…
Yami/Bakura, "That's easy, I am!"
Mark: Damn, I out did myself. Sorry about that whole 'Brick' episode with Honda, I just couldn't stop myself.
Jon: I am scarred for life now dude, thanks.
Mark: No prob.
Yugi: Please review.
Ryou: Oh yes, please old chap.
Katsuya: Right, ya betta fuckin review!
Yugi and Ryou: -.-''''
311½: PSYCHEDELIC!