June 5, 6:00 PM, my room

Took me 45 minutes to get home. I walked. Mom was freaking out of course. Babies do that to you.

Well right when I got home I called Lily. She was home. Michael wasn't. I've found that studying is an excuse for him to get away. He wants to get away from me. Lily says, ''Michael is trying to sort out his insecurities. He is nervous about college so he takes it out on you.'' Is she right? Lily, always the wise one. Butting into my life. She is such a prude. She's just still bitter about Tina Hakim Babba and Boris. I'd thought she'd gotten over it by now. Maybe Michael wants me to leave for Genovia. Maybe I shouldn't have told dad I was only going for the second half of summer. Somehow, I think I'm needed here more.

Tina is still going strong with Boris. It's a weird relationship. Tina is a sucker for all that romance stuff. Buy me a a pack of gum and I'm fine. Well, Boris is more dependable to Tina then to Lily. Somehow I think he still loves her though. A very small part of him that likes to be bossed around of course...thats what Boris needs. I have to call Tina. Maybe she can help with my relationship crisis. Or maybe Fat Louie can.

June 5, 7:00 PM

Tina is so good at these kinds of things. She practically screamed when I told her, which was rather funny, I might add. She said the same. Michael is just insecure and is nervous about everything. I told her, yeah I got it. Well, it's not her fault she's in a solid relationship with a musical genius. It's still weird to think Boris and Lily aren't an ''item'' anymore. Lily needs another busboy. A good solid dependable busboy. She'll meet one at the next protest for animal rights I'm sure.

June 5, 7:05 PM

Still no e-mail from Michael. I fear the worst. Just keep saying to yourself, don't call Michael, don't call Michael, DO NOT CALL HIM!

June 5, 7:06 PM

DON'T CALL HIM! DON'T DON'T DON'T DON'T UNDER ANY MEANS CALL HIM!!

June 5, 7:30 PM

I called him. He had nothing to say to me. This is pathetic. I want to still be with him...

June 5, 7:35 PM

I sent him an e-mail. It goes a little something like this:

Dear Michael,

I don't think you love me anymore. I'm going crazy thinking about you. First, this girl Amy comes and I think you like her andn not me. What is wrong with me? Do I have a disease? Lily and Tina say that you are nervous about college and insecure about alot of things. Is this true? Do you no longer want to be my knight in shining armor? Please respond. It seemed like you didn't even want to talk to me on the phone. Call me, this time talk.

Love,

Mia

There, I think I'm pretty proud of myself. This is my best letter yet. Yay.

June 5, 7:40 PM

Oh. My. God. WHAT DID I JUST SEND? My knight in shining armor!? Who am I?! This is the corniest, worst, piece of crap I have ever written! I have to take it back. I cannot under any means let him see this. If he does then everthing will be ruined! That's it. I have to reverse it. I have to

June 5, 9:00 PM

Didn't finish my sentence because Michael called. He said he got my e-mail. Crimeny. He said he did have something to say to me. He said ''Mia, you're the only girl I truly love. Amy is superficial and a steriotypical California brat. I'm not interested in her. I'm only interested in you. Oh, and by the way, am I really your knight in shining armor?'' It was quite possibley the best 1 hour and 20 minute conversation I've had in a long time. But he said Amy was cool and all but she wasn't for him. What was I worried about? What could possibley go wrong now that the planets are aligned properlyand everything is in it's place.

June 6, 7:00 AM, my room

I just checked my e-mail and I am in utter dire shock. MICHAEL IS QUITTING THE BAND! I didn't even hear it from him which is the worst part. I heard it from Lily. He's decided he wants to move away from it and has decided it just isn't his thing. He's decided to do something better with his time. What could possibley be better? A band is awesome! They were pretty close to getting some more gigs too. This is awful. I have to call him. I have to see what his deal is. Why is he so...like this? It's not the same. He's not the same Michael who took me in his arms and loved me in the cramped supply closet on our spring break road trip. He's, that's it, that's it. I can't do this anymore. I have to do it. I have to. No advice, no nothing.