A/N: Hello again! I am very sorry I haven't updated in a week, but... well, to make a long story short, I tried to resurect Waste 20 Seconds (but in non-script format) and it STILL got deleted! So, yeah, then I got locked. But the good news is that I'm updating now! Enjoy!

Chapter Four: The "Potion" Recipe

Two painful hours later, Harry emerged from the bathroom. He was covered in shaving cream.

Lavender and Parvati giggled madly. "Haven't you ever shaved before?"

"No," Harry replied grimly.

They sighed, walking into the bathroom. "Here, we'll show you."

Closing the door behind them, they began shaving Harry's legs. (A/N: Just picture it: Two giggling girls shaving another girl's legs. Ewwww...)

Hermione entered the dorm, and heard hysterical giggling coming from the bathroom. Knocking on the door, she asked, "Who's in there?"

"Just me and Lavender!" Parvati called back.

Those two are closer than I thought. Hermione thought, trying not to think dirty. "What are you doing?"

"Shaving Holly's legs!" Parvati replied.

"You're WHAT?" Hermione yelled, bursting through the door. She found a very distressed Holly and a giggling Lavender and Parvati.

"Hermione!" Harry exclaimed.

The two valley girls threw down their razors and pouted. "Only wanted to make her look good," they grumbled, and left.

"Thanks," Harry said gratefully, washing off the shaving cream.

"No problem," Hermione replied. "Those two can get a bit crazy."

"You're telling me," Harry said, rolling his eyes.

Hermione laughed. "You know, you do remind me of Harry," she commented.

"But we don't need to talk about him," Harry said hastily. He didn't know how long he could keep his secret.

"Do you want to have lunch with Ron and I?" she asked. "It's lunch time now."

"Sure," Harry replied, following her to the great hall.

And that's how it went for the next week. Well, not the part where Hermione would find Holly covered in shaving cream in the bathroom with Lavender and Parvarti bent over her legs. I meant Hermione, Ron, and Harry would eat their meals together, do their homework together, and talk with each other. Whenever Lavender and Parvati tried to talk to Holly, Hermione would simply put duct tape on their mouths. ("So you were the one who did that to Colin!" Ron exclaimed).

On the day that Harry would find out if he made the cheerleading team, they had Potions right before supper. As they took their seats, Ron handed Holly a pair of nose-plugs. "These will save you expensive plastic nasal surgery," he whispered.

Of course, Harry knew that, and he had his own pair, but he wasn't supposed to. He was Holly. Holly doesn't know about the many smells of Professor Snape. Discreetly pushing the nose plugs into his nose, he opened his books.

After carefully hiding his butterfly barrettes where butterfly killers could not find them, Snape started his class. "As you are all probably aware of, we have a new student, Miss Palmer, filling in for Mr Potter. Make her feel at home." He said, not meaning it.

Snape was about to write something on the board, but Dumbledore strolled into the room. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm okay," Snape replied.

"You're arrettes-bay are idden-hay?" Dumbledore asked, raising his eyebrows. (A/N: Sorry for the bad pig Latin)

"Albuuuuus," Snape whined, jabbing his head in the direction of the students.

"Sorry, sorry," Dumbledore said breezily. "Continue with your lesson," and he left.

Snape tiptoed to the door, and peeked outside. Once he was sure Dumbledore was gone, and anyone else wasn't going to pop in, he slammed he door shut. "Okay, kiddies. I've always wanted to be a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, so this'll be practice for me."

"OH MY GOD HE'S GOING TO RAPE US!" a boy screamed, causing everyone else to start screaming

"I'm not going to do that!" Snape hissed, whipping his head around to look out the window on the door for anyone who heard that. "I'm just going to pretend that I'm the DADA teacher, and this is DADA class."

"May I ask why, Professor?" Draco Malfoy asked.

"Well, you see, it's always been my dream," Snape explained. "Don't worry, it's just for this class,"

Everyone gave each other looks. Harry glanced at Hermione and Ron. They were just as happy as the next person that the Potions teacher wasn't going to rape them, but this was ridiculous.

Snape cleared his throat. "Welcome to Defense Against the Dark Arts. I am your new teacher, Professor Snape. Professor Severus Snape the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. I am a professor and not a teacher because Defense Against the Dark Arts is my profession." He said, matter-of-factly.

"Can we pick up the pace?" Draco moaned in boredom, moving his hand in forward circles.

"So, what do you do in Defense Against the Dark Arts anyway?" Snape asked.

A loud boom was heard as everyone's foreheads hit their desks.

Snape glared at everyone and whipped around to face the chalkboard. Furiously, he began to write the ingredients to a potion. "Copy this down!"

Everybody copied it down.

Harry read what Snape was writing: 'One heart from the real DADA teacher, One liver from the real DADA teacher, One brain from the real DADA teacher, Two lungs from the real DADA teacher...' and raised his hand. "Um, Professor? You're not planning any murders any time soon, are you?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out," Snape recited.

Harry continued writing down the ''Potion'' until class ended for supper. (The last ingredient of Snape's "potion" was One Extra-Large Cheese Pizza But Hold The Bacon, Pepperoni, and Sausage Because I Want To Be A Vegetarian).

When everyone was settled down for supper, an owl flew down to Harry, clutching the results of his try-out.

"Hey, it's the results of my try-out," Harry said, taking the letter

"You tried out for cheerleading?" Hermione asked disapprovingly.

Ron gasped. "Did you make it?" he asked eagerly.

Harry held his breath as he opened the letter...

A/N: LOL Some potion, eh? Oh, and as for those noseplugs and butterfly barrettes, you had to of read the first Let's Go Hogwarts to get it. If you review, Snape might give you a piece of his pizza.

Snape: ::scarfs down vegetarian pizza:: Don't count on it.

In the next chapter of Let's Go Hogwarts 2... will Harry make the team? Why does Snape want to be a vegetarian? Why hasn't the author made Ron and Hermione figure out that Holly is actually Harry?

A/N: I'm getting to it! Sheesh! Now review me, damn it!