Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
I left them, and I swear to God the sure as hell deserved it. How dare they defy the Ministry? How dare they bend all of the Wizarding Laws to their own will? Don't they realize that they are just as bad as the evil wizards they are trying to defeat? Don't they realize that they're all going to die anyway? How dare they make me choose between what is right and what is easy?
How dare I choose what is easy? They knew I would though, they knew I had a thirst for power, and that I would do anything to get it. They knew I would be too cowardly to risk my life to better the world. They knew I would take the easiest path, and they didn't do anything to stop me.
Not that they cared, my brothers always looked down on me, I was always too perfect for them. They hated me, they built up a loving facade, but I know that they think I am the world's biggest prick. And I guess in most ways I am.
So don't pity me, I'm not sure if I deserve it. And don't respect me, because I know I don't deserve it. And don't look at me and tell me that I can change, because I can't. I know I can't, Fudge knows I can't, but most of all, they know I can't, and that is what hurts most of all.
I can't change, because no one believes I can. If I had believed I could, then I would be in the Order now, trying to defeat Voldemort. But I don't, and that seems to be the greatest conflict. If they thought I could change, then one of them would come back for me, some one would try to reason with me. But I know they have given up. I know because when dad passes me at work, he can no longer look me in the eye, he is to ashamed of what I have become. And mum, I'm sure she is upset, and I'm sure she still has a spark of hope. But I also know that they have smothered it, smothered it to the point of near extinction.
If I go back, if I try to redeem myself, I will be shot down. I had my chance. I could have gone back, but after that note that I sent Ron, after I swore that Harry was a liar, I lost their trust forever.
So now I stick by Fudge, no mater what, I stick by him. I listen to the Howlers as they chase after him, and I do what he asks. And I don't find it fair at all, but I do it any way because it gives me power and it boosts my ego. My ego, my pride, that's what got me into this mess, but I keep feeding it. I keep wanting to feel bigger, more powerful. So I do what Fudge wants, I ignore my parents, but what happens when Fudge is gone? What happens when everything I've done wrong surfaces, and no one will let me back? What happens when my whole world comes crashing down one me?
The worst part, the absolute worst part of this whole mess, is that the only reason I won't back down, the only reason I won't go back, is my pride. I would do anything to get rid of my pride, to go back to my family. I would die for the chance to go back to my family, to let my pride and ego die, I would die for it.
Cole's Useless Ramblings
OKay, thanks for the reviews. I tried to seperate the twins and make them more indvidual, and I'm glad people picked up on that.
OKay, so this is Percy's chapter. Do you like it? I do, I wasn't sure how to end it, so towards the end it's a bit forced. Tell me what you think.
-Cole