Title: Between You and Me
Author: DnKS – giRLs
Rating: PG
Pairing: FujiRyo
Disclaimers: not ours, no profit and… you know…
Warning: urmh… OOC… and rambling, and OOC… and a little bit pointless, and OOC… and …have we mentioned OOC…?
It was only the two of us in the locker room that afternoon. The rest of the team had already gone home, even the captain who was usually the last person to leave the clubroom. Yet why were you still there?
I knew for sure that you would not be in that place without an intention. I knew for sure that even though you didn't say any word, you wanted me to come. I knew for sure that behind your silence, you wanted us to talk.
And so I came, and so I talked.
"What do you want, Fuji-sempai?" I asked.
You only smiled. You smiled like you used to smile. And I could do nothing when I was being faced to that smile. I could just only watch, until the time you felt pity on me and drop that smile.
"Why do you think that there's something that I want?" you said, still with the smile.
I sighed. It was far harder to fight you in this situation than to fight you in the court. At least I knew my position when I faced you in the court. You were my opponent whom I had to defeat. But when I faced you like this, I didn't know my position. Who were you? My foe? My friend? My sempai? My lover?
Lover…
Since when did I use that word to describe you? It was not like there was something like love ever happened between us. You never said that you loved me. I never said that I loved you. There was nothing like love between you and me. It was just us, and nothing more.
"It's so hard to make you talk like usual, eh?" I said.
"How can I supposed to talk when there's nothing to talk about?" you answered.
Was there really nothing, I highly doubted that. But again, who was I to force you? You would talk when you wanted to talk. You would open yourself when you felt the need to do so. I held no control over you, as you mine.
So I just watched you in silence. Silence was bliss, they said, but my bliss was you. It was strange. You were my pain, my happiness, my enigma. How could it be that someone had all those in one self?
But I thought I should not expect anything usual from you, eh, Fuji-sempai…
"I saw you…" you said suddenly, breaking the silence.
"I saw you with Tezuka today," you continued.
I stared at you in disbelief, "And?"
You turned your head and faced me. The smile was still there. Unfaltered, undisturbed, that smile pierced my soul. So deep and still sank deeper. Deeper till there was nothing else left in the depth of my heart.
Ne, Fuji-sempai… had anyone said to you how painfully breathtaking your smile was…?
"Nothing," you said, "Just getting curious."
"Are you jealous, Fuji-sempai?" I asked.
You laughed, and that smile was still there. You laughed merrily, happily. But I was not able to laugh at all. Was there something funny I could not tell?
"Why must I?" you said.
"Yes, why must you…" I said. "Why is it must be you, Fuji-sempai? The part of jealousy is wholly mine, isn't it? You have no responsibility to feel such thing like jealousy. But Fuji-sempai, I feel somewhat bored by the fact that I am the only one who always felt everything."
You didn't say any word. You just looked at me in bewilderment. I too was surprised by my words. I would never think before that I could say such words.
"Jealousy, you say?" you said coldly. "I have my own way to show my jealousy."
"Then would you please do me a favor by making your way easier for me to comprehend?" I snapped you sharply.
It was enough. There would be no further argument. Every time we always ended up like that. We would leave and by the following day you would greet me like nothing had ever happened.
You might be able to do that forever, Fuji-sempai, but I could not.
I headed to the door, but I felt your hand grabbing mine. I gave you my puzzled look, but you only stayed silent.
We remained in that stance for some seconds, and then you spoke.
"I'm sorry."
Your smile disappeared for an instant. Just an instant, but that time I would not forget. I would not forget your pained look, or your scared eyes. Had I scared you? When and how? It was funny to watch you could become so weak in my eyes. Was that another side of you which I'd never seen before?
Ne, Fuji-sempai, you're much prettier that way…
"For what?" I asked.
"You know," you said and I nodded.
"I know…"
Then you smiled again, like usual, like nothing had ever happened.
It was always like that. We ended up walking home, together. But that time, your hand did not release mine. You kept my palm in your warmth.
I didn't know what was that between you and me. I just knew something was there. Things that I could not name, words that I could not speak, love that I could not describe.
But there was something that dwelt in our clasping hands. There was something that remained in every word we had talked. There was something between you and me that made me able to stand your smile, and gave you back my smile.
They said you were a tensai, right, Fuji-sempai?
So, could you tell what lay between you and me?
- the end -
(A/N : erm… does this fic even deserve to have some rotten vegs…?)