Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

Cold. Hollow. Empty. You would never think that a person with no real emotion could feel all of this. And you're right, a person with no real emotion would be able to feel any of this. But you see, I have real emotion. Somehting nobody has ever realized. Something I barely recognize. But the emotion is there, and truly, I do care.

I was brought up a Slytherin. I was forced into this evil. My heart was taken from me at a very young age, and I became a brainwashed idiot. I only obeyed my father, for he was my world. Anything and everything he said was heaven sent. He was my bible, my bread, and my wine. I needed nothing else to survive besides his praise.

And his praise I was given. I became a Slytherin, like the good boy I was. I became the Ice Prince, I was the Slytherin Sex God, and nothing could stop me. I watched as the world around me fell apart, I watched as the darkness became more visible in everyday life. I watched as the innocence of my fellow classmates was lost, forced out of their lives by the Dark Lord and my father. And I cared not.

Or so I told myself.

I became a Death Eater. I followed in the footsteps of my father. Everything was going according to plan. I was so powerful, I was the son of one of the Dark Lord's most trusted followers. I was royalty.

And it was all so horrible. Everyday someone died. Every day Voldemort forced us to do the unthinkable. Every day I was sucked deeper and deeper into a world that knew no love, no happiness. It knew only fear, and pain, and power. And I hated it. I hated it because everyone I knew, everyone I told myself that I loved, they had no emotion. They were cold, icy, their hearts black holes that had no worth. And I was isolated.

Every day I would sit in the Common Room and stare blankly at the wall, knowing that I would be flooing to the Riddle Mansion that night. I would be killing an innocent that night. I would walk through the school, people would watch me. They knew what I was, and they feared me for it. But Potter and his group still spit on me. They still viewed me as worhtless, and I truly believe that they are the people I respected most. The people I loved most, because they saw me for what I was. A heartless, empty bastard.

Kiling was the worst part. Watching innocent people as the life drained from their eyes. Knowing that I was the reason their lives were over. It was the most heart wrenching experience. I would cry every night. Not racking sobs, Slytherins were taught at an early age not to cry, but small, silver, solitary tears would fall down my face every night. My silver eyes woudl gleam with pain. And anyone who was looking for the pain would see it.

Potter saw my pain once. I don't know how, but we were in a fight, and he had said something about my father. I couldn't blame him, I hated my father more than he did. But that one comment was enough for me to let down my defenses for a split second, and Harry saw my pain. He looked at me and he said, "I'm sorry." Then he shook his head and walked away. Not turning back for a second. That was the one time I felt most alive. The one time someone recognized my pain. The one time someone apologized. And it touched me so deeply, that it will stay with me forever.

Ever since then, I have never let my guard down. I have never let my emotions show, because emotions will be the death of us all. So I have prolonged my death. But I no longer see the point. I have nothing left to live for. I don't want to kill another innocent, I don't want to see the pain in my peers' eyes. I don't want to be on the wrong side of this war.

But then again, I never had a choice. I could never rebel against them. Because if I had my father would have killed me. He was not like my great uncle, Sirius Black's father. Uncle Black let his son live, a long as he was ar away from them. Uncle Black had Regulus to carry on the family name. Sirius had a choice.

I don't, I either agree with my father, or die. And I didn't want to die, but now I;m not so sure.

All I ever wanted was a choice. A choice and a real friend. I didn't get either. Never in my life did I have a choice. And never in my life did I have a true friend. I woudl do anything for a choice. I would do anything for a friend, for someone to like me for me. A choice, a friend, those are the things I would die for. But anything would be fine, because my life is no longer worth living.

Cole's Useless Ramblings

This is the last Chapter. I decided not to do Harry, because Somethingto Live For ((The third story in this trilogy)) is going to be all about him. I hope you liked this story. And stay tuned for the sequal, it should be up soon.

This was Draco's story. I love Draco, because he is so very much like me. Only I am just cold and I show no true emotion. Sure I smile, but so does he. It is not true happiness or true joy, all of that is hidden. This is one of my favorite chapters.

Sorry for spelling errors, my word is down ((again!))

I love you all,

Nicole Marie AKA Cole AKA Hope Autumntears