AN: Wow, I'm surprise you guys forgot what the letter was. No, do not worry, it's not a suicide note. I talked about the letter earlier in chapter thirteen before Draco sees Ron. If you go back, you'll see that Draco pulled a letter out of his pockets and it's from his father so he threw it on the ground before he caught Ron's angry eyes. Yes, that's it. It's that letter and you'll find out what it says in the next chapter because this is Harry's chapter. Thank-you all so much for your reviews and Iliana, glad you caught that mistake I made. When I write, I forget what I put in the other chapters and so I write something else. Oh yeah, and Rosa di Corte, I'm not going to write the Price of a Hero anymore. I will, but it won't be the sequel to the other story anymore. Thanks everyone. Lemonskittle
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Chapter Sixteen
How to Deal with Pansy – Harry Potter
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Stars littered the night sky over Hogwarts, shining down on earth from millions and millions of light years away. The castle was dark except for a few windows of students who could not sleep that night, one of which shined from Harry Potter's own window.
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Seamus and his other mates were probably still up, worrying over where Harry was at the minute, seeing as it was late and he wasn't yet in bed. But it would be long before Harry went to bed. He needed to be out there, to watch the stars and try to pry out the images that were carved into his mind.
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He didn't want to believe that she was capable of doing it and yet he had witnessed it. She was the one who pushed Malfoy against the tree and assaulted his lips with her own. True, he had shown no resistance, but she was the one who did the doing. Ginny was guilty, Harry the witness of it all.
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Everything felt so different now. His image of Ginny, or who he thought she is was blurring with the image of what he's just witnessed. She was a confused girl, he's always known that, but could it possibly be that he was the one confused? He's known Ginny for many years now, but did he really? Could it possibly be that all he knew was what he thought she was?
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The tentacles of the squid that lived in the lake broke the smoothness of the surface, sending ripples across the lake. It waved in the air for a second or so just to disappear back into its home. Did he feel lonely living out there? Harry's never heard of another squid out there beside him.
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In the Forbidden Forest, some kind of creature howled in a desperate call for companionship. Funny how he wasn't the only one alone in the universe; Harry felt alone as well. Losing his parents and growing up with the Dursleys, he had been more than happy to attend Hogwarts but Hogwarts wasn't any easier. In fact, it was harder.
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In the Wizarding world, Harry was a hero and being a hero, he had something to live up to even if it was something that he might now be able to. Voldemort killed his family and he wanted revenge, but was vengeance the only way out? The pressure was building and Harry didn't know if he'd be able to handle it. He thought maybe if he trusted someone, had someone to trust and tell his everything to, it might be okay. That person had been Ginny at first, but was it really her?
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He was so content on believing her to be someone she wasn't; to believe that she'll always be there whenever he needed her, but time was proving him wrong. She's over him and now she's got Malfoy and who does Harry have? He has no one and to be alone is what scared him the most.
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The wind blew and trees whispered as if they were passing on a secret that Harry could not know. Their leaves rustled softly, their branches knocking against one another in an attempt to escape the pull of the wind. A regretful muscle twitched his lips upwards and Harry had a sudden image of what it would feel like in a world without him.
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It would be so easy to let go of everything right there and then. He could jump into the water and let everything go, ridding everyone who had him as a burden on their shoulders. He couldn't go on without knowing that someone in this world cared about him, that someone in this world loved him.
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Did anyone even love him? It's so easy to fall in love, but did someone even love him? People were always falling in love with people who never loved them back. Did he want to be one of those people? He liked Cho Chang, but she proved that she wanted someone else. Ginny was in love with him, but he never saw her as anything else besides Ron's younger sister, his own sister. And now that he started to see something else in Ginny, she wasn't interested anymore.
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So why is that? Could it be that Harry wanted Cho, wanted Ginny because he knew he'll never have them. Because to think that he would actually have one of them was a scary thought. He wanted Cho, but when he actually imagined himself with her, it scared him beyond belief. He just wanted what he couldn't have because it would mean he'll never have it and he'll never have to commit himself to something. Commitment was a scary thing and Harry wasn't sure he was ready for that just yet.
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"Solitude is never the answer," Dumbledore said gently from behind. How long the headmaster had been standing there, Harry'll never know. "Men have wasted away living in solitude, afraid to let people know what's inside of them."
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Harry turned slowly to look at Dumbledore. He seemed to be getting older and older each day. How long would it be before Harry was alone? The fact that he might lose Dumbledore as well scared the heck out of him. Losing his parents and his godfather was enough. He didn't need to lose Dumbledore as well. "That's not the same thing I heard," Harry said quietly. "Solitude is a time to think, to sum up everything that's been scattered through our head."
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There was an odd twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes. Even at the strangest of times, he appeared to be so calm, so in controlled of his emotions. "That is true, Harry," he said. "But I was not speaking about now. I was telling you about the future; I was telling you about what it can hold if you hid away from the world now. The end of you will not be the end of the pain and suffering that goes on in the world.
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"How easy it would be to give up. How easy it is to let go but think about the people who are left. They will be the ones who are left with the suffering. Is that what you want?"
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Harry shook his head, but really, it didn't matter. As long as he wasn't suffering then everything was okay. "But I'm just so tired," he said quietly.
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A smile brought the corners of Dumbledore's lips up. He rubbed his beard fondly and nodded. "Everyone gets tired," he said. "It's only the weak ones who let go. You see, Harry, sum up all the time that you have been alive and compare it to the ones who are gone. Each day that you are alive, you get stronger and wiser. If you could have been any of those who died, would you have traded places? Would you have traded places with Cedric because I know for a fact he would have traded places with you. It's only until the time that we are dying that we realize everything we have."
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"Like when you die, your life passes before your eyes?" Harry asked cynically. He hadn't meant to be rude, he was just delirious. He's hated being told something that he already knew. Every book that he read about death, life always passed before their eyes and he only knew it too well. What he didn't know was what would pass before his eyes if he died.
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"Yes," Dumbledore surprised him with. "It's exactly like that and you have to think, Harry, if you were to die now, how much less of things would you see if you had waited until your time."
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Things were getting more complicated each day. He'd wake up, expecting to find everything okay, but things are just worse. He thought that if he pretended to make everything okay, then it would be, but no matter how much he tried to pretend, nothing ever got better.
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"You see, Harry," Dumbledore continued, his voice oddly wise. He was so quiet and yet, he spoke with so much demand that anyone passing by would give their attention to him. That's what Harry wanted to command. That's the respect that Harry wanted people to pay him. "Life weaves together your past and present, leading it up to your future. It's your decision what your past and present includes and what it leads up to. Who you were the first time you came to Hogwarts is not the person you are today. Who you will be in another seven years will not be the same person that you are today."
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"Sometimes, life doesn't make sense," Harry said and looked up at the headmaster, trying to read the veil expression on his weary face. "I wished I just knew what was going to happen."
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Dumbledore looked past Harry's shoulder towards the sparkling lake as if he saw something there that Harry didn't. "And if you knew, Harry, would that change your perspective of how you see life right now?"
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"Of course," Harry answered. "It'll be like turning to the end of a book and finding out what happens even before you even read it."
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"And yet seeing the future is not the same as that," Dumbledore said. His eyes were glazed as if he wasn't even with Harry by the lake anymore but somewhere far away where everything was peaceful. "To see the future would be to have the kind of knowledge that you do not want because you will see the people you love's future and to know what would happen to them would not be the same as a book. Books end with a happy ending, but our lives do not. It is up to us how we piece out life together to get that happy ending.
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"Perhaps it would not be happily ever after, but it'll still be a happy ending nonetheless. Sometimes, knowing what's going to happen isn't the best thing."
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Harry wasn't getting any of this. What was Dumbledore trying to get across to him?
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"The best things can be in front of our eyes and we don't even realize it until it's gone," Dumbledore said, turning his attention to Harry again. "Yours has yet to past."
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Did that mean he still had a chance with Ginny? Hope rose in his eyes. "So I can still try to win Ginny's heart then?"
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His hand was stroking his white beard fondly again like it was his best friend. "Perhaps and perhaps not," Dumbledore answered after a moment of hesitation. "It's your decision whether you think you still do or not. Personally though, I think she has already realized her best thing, she just needs to go for it."
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Then Dumbledore turned around and glided back to Hogwarts. Gliding was the word because there was nothing else to describe it. So Harry didn't have a chance with Ginny anymore. Fair enough. If only he knew who Dumbledore had been implying.
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Harry got up and made his way back to Hogwarts. He didn't get very far from where he had been sitting before he heard a girl's muffled cries. It wasn't loud and yet, it was audible in the quiet darkness. His first instinct was to run away. It was a crying girl, what kind of experience did he have with that? He couldn't even handle Cho Chang back in his fifth year and now this? What made him think he'd be able to help her? He didn't even know who was crying.
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And yet, he couldn't just run away like a coward. There's been too many times in his life where he couldn't face things and he ran away. It's time to live up to the hero that Harry Potter was and take things into his own hands, not that he's never before, but he's never actually done it willingly with a girl before. It's time he faced his fears of girls.
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So Harry turned back around and went in the direction that the cries were coming from. It was all messed up because the wind made it sound like it's coming from one direction when really, it was coming from the opposite. So it did take a while before Harry did find her and when he found her, he wished he hadn't even bothered.
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Honestly, would you have wanted to be the one who found Pansy Parkinson sobbing? Obviously not because Harry wished he hadn't been the one who found her. And now that he did, he had no choice but to stay. How could he face his fears of girls if he never faced it now, with Pansy Parkinson?
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"Er," Harry said, making sure he stood far away. He didn't want her to get angry and lash out at him. "What's wrong?"
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There was no answer. She continued to cry into her arms and Harry was tempted to run away, but he forced himself to sit on the wet ground with her. Really, his conscious was going to pay for making him do this. "Why are you crying?" he asked softly.
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"Goh avay," she said, her voice muffled from crying and being buried in her arms.
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See, she was okay; that's why she told him to go away. He almost stood up, but his conscious pulled him back down. Stay! It almost yelled at him.
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"Pansy, tell me what's the matter," Harry prodded, wishing he was anywhere else but there even if it meant in Voldemort's presence. Battling Voldemort would be better than battling a girl's tears.
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She looked up from her arms and the moonlight hit her face in a really pretty way. Pansy was never ugly, Harry knew that. Actually, she was pretty. She had long dark hair and icy blue eyes that could melt any guy; it's just that she didn't know how to do that. She used her charms trying to seduce guys and she was such a slut, not to mention her cold heart. If she learned to become more decent and became a nicer person, Harry might even consider liking her.
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He realized what his head had just said and horror filled him. Harry liking Pansy? No way. Definitely never in a million years. A tear slipped down her face and she looked so vulnerable. Okay, so maybe yeah. What if he thought Pansy was a little pretty, that didn't mean anything. Not anything much anyway.
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"You," she said, staring at him. She had no time to look mean because her face was too busy being miserable. She didn't look like Pansy at all. She looked like someone else, another girl who decided to inhabit the body that once belonged to Pansy. "Go away. Just leave me alone would you?"
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"I can't do that," Harry whispered because he really couldn't. He's never done this before, but he knew better than to leave a crying girl in the middle of the night by a cold lake. What if she was cold? He's never thought to himself that Pansy might be cold. "Here," he said, taking his cloak off and wrapping it around her fragile shoulders, shaking with each cry.
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It was hard to imagine that Pansy was fragile. She looked like a slut, but Harry never gave a second glace to see how fragile and alone she was. In many ways, they were both alike. People thought her to be someone she was without even thinking to get to know her and she was alone. No one understood her the way that no one understood him. Perhaps, they could make something happen if time was given.
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"I don't want you to see me cry," she said through her tears.
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And that sounded funny to him because why not? He was hearing her cry whether she liked it or not and he was there to help, so why would she care? "Well that's crazy," Harry said, one hand on her shoulder. "Why ever not?"
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"Because this isn't me," she admitted. "You see me in a lot of ways and I don't really care, I just wish you wouldn't see me as this. Vulnerable."
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Then something clicked in Harry's head. She didn't want him to see her as vulnerable and alone because that's how she really is. He didn't want people to see him in the same way too because that's how he really is as well. He was alone and scared without anyone and he didn't want them to see that because that is his weakness and to have people see his weakness, they could use it against him.
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"Afraid I'll tell people?" Harry asked.
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She glared at him and the old Pansy returned. "You better not, Potter or I'll take your head off."
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Harry laughed at her. He actually laughed at her and it only made her angrier. He couldn't help it though because the threat had been so like her. "Take my head off?" he asked, holding his stomach. "You're going to take my head off? Could you come up with anything funnier?"
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At first, Pansy didn't do anything, but maybe it started to dawn on her. The cold complexion of her face began to melt and the other Pansy return. She joined him and they laughed until they were practically rolling on the ground and their stomachs ached. Finally, they sat up and their eyes connected.
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Time ticked by slowly as if it stopped for them. And slowly, very slowly, Harry's hand came up to stroke her cheek, but he stopped himself. "Why were you crying?" he asked suddenly.
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Was she disappointed that he pulled back? Harry couldn't tell, but he couldn't do it again now. He's lost his nerves.
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"I saw Draco and Ginny earlier," she said, wiping away a stray tear that was silently slipping down her face. "I try to pretend that what he's been doing with all those girls didn't hurt me, but really, it does. It hurts so badly, but I'm just Pansy so what can I say to him. He doesn't even listen to me because he's got his mind set on believing that I'm someone I'm not."
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What Draco has been doing with all those girls? Harry heard something about Draco doing something, but he didn't know what. Was that the reason Ginny was angry with him? Harry had to tell her. He had to let Ginny know that Draco wasn't being true and that Pansy has just admitted it to him.
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"I was mad at him," Pansy whispered. "I was so angry that he could do all these girl in front of me and have no shame. Didn't he realize how much I loved him? So I thought as revenge, I'd set him up with someone who he'll never have, but that didn't turn out so well. She seems to have fallen for him as every girl tends to."
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It must have hurt Pansy to have the guy she's been in love with sleep with other girls. Harry has never felt it before, but he knew it must have hurt. "I'm sorry," he told her.
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Pansy scoffed. "Sorry?" she repeated. "You're sorry? Draco should be the one who's sorry. He says that he loves Ginny too, but why isn't he telling her that he might become a deatheater? I mean, isn't that just so dumb? He's always telling Blaise how much he loves Ginny and yet, he hasn't mentioned to her that he is going to become a deatheater tomorrow."
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Harry's heart seemed to have stopped pounding. A deatheater? Draco was going to become a deatheater and Ginny didn't even know? He could use this against Draco. He could use this information and get Ginny back.
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"I have to go," Harry said suddenly and sprinted towards Hogwarts.
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"No!" Pansy yelled after him, but he didn't listen to her. He only had one thing on his mind and that was to reclaim Ginny.
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Chapter Sixteen
How to Deal with Pansy – Harry Potter
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Stars littered the night sky over Hogwarts, shining down on earth from millions and millions of light years away. The castle was dark except for a few windows of students who could not sleep that night, one of which shined from Harry Potter's own window.
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Seamus and his other mates were probably still up, worrying over where Harry was at the minute, seeing as it was late and he wasn't yet in bed. But it would be long before Harry went to bed. He needed to be out there, to watch the stars and try to pry out the images that were carved into his mind.
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He didn't want to believe that she was capable of doing it and yet he had witnessed it. She was the one who pushed Malfoy against the tree and assaulted his lips with her own. True, he had shown no resistance, but she was the one who did the doing. Ginny was guilty, Harry the witness of it all.
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Everything felt so different now. His image of Ginny, or who he thought she is was blurring with the image of what he's just witnessed. She was a confused girl, he's always known that, but could it possibly be that he was the one confused? He's known Ginny for many years now, but did he really? Could it possibly be that all he knew was what he thought she was?
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The tentacles of the squid that lived in the lake broke the smoothness of the surface, sending ripples across the lake. It waved in the air for a second or so just to disappear back into its home. Did he feel lonely living out there? Harry's never heard of another squid out there beside him.
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In the Forbidden Forest, some kind of creature howled in a desperate call for companionship. Funny how he wasn't the only one alone in the universe; Harry felt alone as well. Losing his parents and growing up with the Dursleys, he had been more than happy to attend Hogwarts but Hogwarts wasn't any easier. In fact, it was harder.
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In the Wizarding world, Harry was a hero and being a hero, he had something to live up to even if it was something that he might now be able to. Voldemort killed his family and he wanted revenge, but was vengeance the only way out? The pressure was building and Harry didn't know if he'd be able to handle it. He thought maybe if he trusted someone, had someone to trust and tell his everything to, it might be okay. That person had been Ginny at first, but was it really her?
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He was so content on believing her to be someone she wasn't; to believe that she'll always be there whenever he needed her, but time was proving him wrong. She's over him and now she's got Malfoy and who does Harry have? He has no one and to be alone is what scared him the most.
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The wind blew and trees whispered as if they were passing on a secret that Harry could not know. Their leaves rustled softly, their branches knocking against one another in an attempt to escape the pull of the wind. A regretful muscle twitched his lips upwards and Harry had a sudden image of what it would feel like in a world without him.
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It would be so easy to let go of everything right there and then. He could jump into the water and let everything go, ridding everyone who had him as a burden on their shoulders. He couldn't go on without knowing that someone in this world cared about him, that someone in this world loved him.
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Did anyone even love him? It's so easy to fall in love, but did someone even love him? People were always falling in love with people who never loved them back. Did he want to be one of those people? He liked Cho Chang, but she proved that she wanted someone else. Ginny was in love with him, but he never saw her as anything else besides Ron's younger sister, his own sister. And now that he started to see something else in Ginny, she wasn't interested anymore.
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So why is that? Could it be that Harry wanted Cho, wanted Ginny because he knew he'll never have them. Because to think that he would actually have one of them was a scary thought. He wanted Cho, but when he actually imagined himself with her, it scared him beyond belief. He just wanted what he couldn't have because it would mean he'll never have it and he'll never have to commit himself to something. Commitment was a scary thing and Harry wasn't sure he was ready for that just yet.
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"Solitude is never the answer," Dumbledore said gently from behind. How long the headmaster had been standing there, Harry'll never know. "Men have wasted away living in solitude, afraid to let people know what's inside of them."
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Harry turned slowly to look at Dumbledore. He seemed to be getting older and older each day. How long would it be before Harry was alone? The fact that he might lose Dumbledore as well scared the heck out of him. Losing his parents and his godfather was enough. He didn't need to lose Dumbledore as well. "That's not the same thing I heard," Harry said quietly. "Solitude is a time to think, to sum up everything that's been scattered through our head."
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There was an odd twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes. Even at the strangest of times, he appeared to be so calm, so in controlled of his emotions. "That is true, Harry," he said. "But I was not speaking about now. I was telling you about the future; I was telling you about what it can hold if you hid away from the world now. The end of you will not be the end of the pain and suffering that goes on in the world.
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"How easy it would be to give up. How easy it is to let go but think about the people who are left. They will be the ones who are left with the suffering. Is that what you want?"
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Harry shook his head, but really, it didn't matter. As long as he wasn't suffering then everything was okay. "But I'm just so tired," he said quietly.
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A smile brought the corners of Dumbledore's lips up. He rubbed his beard fondly and nodded. "Everyone gets tired," he said. "It's only the weak ones who let go. You see, Harry, sum up all the time that you have been alive and compare it to the ones who are gone. Each day that you are alive, you get stronger and wiser. If you could have been any of those who died, would you have traded places? Would you have traded places with Cedric because I know for a fact he would have traded places with you. It's only until the time that we are dying that we realize everything we have."
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"Like when you die, your life passes before your eyes?" Harry asked cynically. He hadn't meant to be rude, he was just delirious. He's hated being told something that he already knew. Every book that he read about death, life always passed before their eyes and he only knew it too well. What he didn't know was what would pass before his eyes if he died.
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"Yes," Dumbledore surprised him with. "It's exactly like that and you have to think, Harry, if you were to die now, how much less of things would you see if you had waited until your time."
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Things were getting more complicated each day. He'd wake up, expecting to find everything okay, but things are just worse. He thought that if he pretended to make everything okay, then it would be, but no matter how much he tried to pretend, nothing ever got better.
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"You see, Harry," Dumbledore continued, his voice oddly wise. He was so quiet and yet, he spoke with so much demand that anyone passing by would give their attention to him. That's what Harry wanted to command. That's the respect that Harry wanted people to pay him. "Life weaves together your past and present, leading it up to your future. It's your decision what your past and present includes and what it leads up to. Who you were the first time you came to Hogwarts is not the person you are today. Who you will be in another seven years will not be the same person that you are today."
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"Sometimes, life doesn't make sense," Harry said and looked up at the headmaster, trying to read the veil expression on his weary face. "I wished I just knew what was going to happen."
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Dumbledore looked past Harry's shoulder towards the sparkling lake as if he saw something there that Harry didn't. "And if you knew, Harry, would that change your perspective of how you see life right now?"
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"Of course," Harry answered. "It'll be like turning to the end of a book and finding out what happens even before you even read it."
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"And yet seeing the future is not the same as that," Dumbledore said. His eyes were glazed as if he wasn't even with Harry by the lake anymore but somewhere far away where everything was peaceful. "To see the future would be to have the kind of knowledge that you do not want because you will see the people you love's future and to know what would happen to them would not be the same as a book. Books end with a happy ending, but our lives do not. It is up to us how we piece out life together to get that happy ending.
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"Perhaps it would not be happily ever after, but it'll still be a happy ending nonetheless. Sometimes, knowing what's going to happen isn't the best thing."
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Harry wasn't getting any of this. What was Dumbledore trying to get across to him?
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"The best things can be in front of our eyes and we don't even realize it until it's gone," Dumbledore said, turning his attention to Harry again. "Yours has yet to past."
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Did that mean he still had a chance with Ginny? Hope rose in his eyes. "So I can still try to win Ginny's heart then?"
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His hand was stroking his white beard fondly again like it was his best friend. "Perhaps and perhaps not," Dumbledore answered after a moment of hesitation. "It's your decision whether you think you still do or not. Personally though, I think she has already realized her best thing, she just needs to go for it."
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Then Dumbledore turned around and glided back to Hogwarts. Gliding was the word because there was nothing else to describe it. So Harry didn't have a chance with Ginny anymore. Fair enough. If only he knew who Dumbledore had been implying.
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Harry got up and made his way back to Hogwarts. He didn't get very far from where he had been sitting before he heard a girl's muffled cries. It wasn't loud and yet, it was audible in the quiet darkness. His first instinct was to run away. It was a crying girl, what kind of experience did he have with that? He couldn't even handle Cho Chang back in his fifth year and now this? What made him think he'd be able to help her? He didn't even know who was crying.
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And yet, he couldn't just run away like a coward. There's been too many times in his life where he couldn't face things and he ran away. It's time to live up to the hero that Harry Potter was and take things into his own hands, not that he's never before, but he's never actually done it willingly with a girl before. It's time he faced his fears of girls.
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So Harry turned back around and went in the direction that the cries were coming from. It was all messed up because the wind made it sound like it's coming from one direction when really, it was coming from the opposite. So it did take a while before Harry did find her and when he found her, he wished he hadn't even bothered.
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Honestly, would you have wanted to be the one who found Pansy Parkinson sobbing? Obviously not because Harry wished he hadn't been the one who found her. And now that he did, he had no choice but to stay. How could he face his fears of girls if he never faced it now, with Pansy Parkinson?
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"Er," Harry said, making sure he stood far away. He didn't want her to get angry and lash out at him. "What's wrong?"
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There was no answer. She continued to cry into her arms and Harry was tempted to run away, but he forced himself to sit on the wet ground with her. Really, his conscious was going to pay for making him do this. "Why are you crying?" he asked softly.
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"Goh avay," she said, her voice muffled from crying and being buried in her arms.
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See, she was okay; that's why she told him to go away. He almost stood up, but his conscious pulled him back down. Stay! It almost yelled at him.
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"Pansy, tell me what's the matter," Harry prodded, wishing he was anywhere else but there even if it meant in Voldemort's presence. Battling Voldemort would be better than battling a girl's tears.
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She looked up from her arms and the moonlight hit her face in a really pretty way. Pansy was never ugly, Harry knew that. Actually, she was pretty. She had long dark hair and icy blue eyes that could melt any guy; it's just that she didn't know how to do that. She used her charms trying to seduce guys and she was such a slut, not to mention her cold heart. If she learned to become more decent and became a nicer person, Harry might even consider liking her.
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He realized what his head had just said and horror filled him. Harry liking Pansy? No way. Definitely never in a million years. A tear slipped down her face and she looked so vulnerable. Okay, so maybe yeah. What if he thought Pansy was a little pretty, that didn't mean anything. Not anything much anyway.
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"You," she said, staring at him. She had no time to look mean because her face was too busy being miserable. She didn't look like Pansy at all. She looked like someone else, another girl who decided to inhabit the body that once belonged to Pansy. "Go away. Just leave me alone would you?"
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"I can't do that," Harry whispered because he really couldn't. He's never done this before, but he knew better than to leave a crying girl in the middle of the night by a cold lake. What if she was cold? He's never thought to himself that Pansy might be cold. "Here," he said, taking his cloak off and wrapping it around her fragile shoulders, shaking with each cry.
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It was hard to imagine that Pansy was fragile. She looked like a slut, but Harry never gave a second glace to see how fragile and alone she was. In many ways, they were both alike. People thought her to be someone she was without even thinking to get to know her and she was alone. No one understood her the way that no one understood him. Perhaps, they could make something happen if time was given.
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"I don't want you to see me cry," she said through her tears.
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And that sounded funny to him because why not? He was hearing her cry whether she liked it or not and he was there to help, so why would she care? "Well that's crazy," Harry said, one hand on her shoulder. "Why ever not?"
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"Because this isn't me," she admitted. "You see me in a lot of ways and I don't really care, I just wish you wouldn't see me as this. Vulnerable."
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Then something clicked in Harry's head. She didn't want him to see her as vulnerable and alone because that's how she really is. He didn't want people to see him in the same way too because that's how he really is as well. He was alone and scared without anyone and he didn't want them to see that because that is his weakness and to have people see his weakness, they could use it against him.
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"Afraid I'll tell people?" Harry asked.
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She glared at him and the old Pansy returned. "You better not, Potter or I'll take your head off."
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Harry laughed at her. He actually laughed at her and it only made her angrier. He couldn't help it though because the threat had been so like her. "Take my head off?" he asked, holding his stomach. "You're going to take my head off? Could you come up with anything funnier?"
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At first, Pansy didn't do anything, but maybe it started to dawn on her. The cold complexion of her face began to melt and the other Pansy return. She joined him and they laughed until they were practically rolling on the ground and their stomachs ached. Finally, they sat up and their eyes connected.
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Time ticked by slowly as if it stopped for them. And slowly, very slowly, Harry's hand came up to stroke her cheek, but he stopped himself. "Why were you crying?" he asked suddenly.
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Was she disappointed that he pulled back? Harry couldn't tell, but he couldn't do it again now. He's lost his nerves.
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"I saw Draco and Ginny earlier," she said, wiping away a stray tear that was silently slipping down her face. "I try to pretend that what he's been doing with all those girls didn't hurt me, but really, it does. It hurts so badly, but I'm just Pansy so what can I say to him. He doesn't even listen to me because he's got his mind set on believing that I'm someone I'm not."
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What Draco has been doing with all those girls? Harry heard something about Draco doing something, but he didn't know what. Was that the reason Ginny was angry with him? Harry had to tell her. He had to let Ginny know that Draco wasn't being true and that Pansy has just admitted it to him.
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"I was mad at him," Pansy whispered. "I was so angry that he could do all these girl in front of me and have no shame. Didn't he realize how much I loved him? So I thought as revenge, I'd set him up with someone who he'll never have, but that didn't turn out so well. She seems to have fallen for him as every girl tends to."
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It must have hurt Pansy to have the guy she's been in love with sleep with other girls. Harry has never felt it before, but he knew it must have hurt. "I'm sorry," he told her.
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Pansy scoffed. "Sorry?" she repeated. "You're sorry? Draco should be the one who's sorry. He says that he loves Ginny too, but why isn't he telling her that he might become a deatheater? I mean, isn't that just so dumb? He's always telling Blaise how much he loves Ginny and yet, he hasn't mentioned to her that he is going to become a deatheater tomorrow."
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Harry's heart seemed to have stopped pounding. A deatheater? Draco was going to become a deatheater and Ginny didn't even know? He could use this against Draco. He could use this information and get Ginny back.
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"I have to go," Harry said suddenly and sprinted towards Hogwarts.
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"No!" Pansy yelled after him, but he didn't listen to her. He only had one thing on his mind and that was to reclaim Ginny.