Hello everyone. This is my first Doug story on this site. hooray! and You better like this story or else I'll slap my little cousin so hard across the face. please folks he's only 5.

It was around midnight, and Doug couldn't sleep, so he decided to turn the TV he got installed in his room. He began flipping through every channel, when all of a sudden he stumbled across one that caught his attention. It was the playboy channel. Doug looked left and right making sure things were clear. He looked down at Porkchop, and found him fast asleep.

Since when have we had the playboy channel? Doug asked himself. But I'm not allowed to watch this....Oh, what the hell.... He said. He began to watch as two girls with large cans began making out with each other. Doug started to feel this wired sensation in his pants. He was becoming horny and wanted to touch himself. Suddenly he heard the phone ring and he gasped and jumped back. He answered it.

"Hey Doug HONK HONK, what's up!"

"Damit Skeeter, what the fuck are you doing calling at this time!" Doug said sounding a bit paranoid.

"Nothing man, can't sleep that's all I guess"

"Well then, try putting channel 500 Skeet."

"Why?" Skeeter asked.

"Just watch it." Skeeter did as he was told.

"HOLY CRAP!" the blue piece of shit yelled through the other end of the phone.

"I know, isn't this sweet?" Doug asked.

"Yeah but I'm not allowed to watch this. See ya ."

The next day at school Doug felt like a 'man'.

"Yo Doug HONK HONK Where've you been? I've been looking all over for you."

"Hey Skeet.Roger's taking me out for a couple of drinks tonight. Want to come?"

"I can't. I'm grounded. My dad caught me masturbating last night to the porn, so now I'm not allowed to eat for a month. Well, see ya man."

--------------------------------------Later that night-------------------------------------------------

The two enetered the liqour store. Roger had an ID he had stolen from some guy. "Come on Funnie drink, drink!" Doug gulped a whole bottle of Vodka, then Whiskey until he was all boozed up. "Here , sniff this." Roger said handing Doug some white powdery substance of some sort. Doug sniffed it like never before. "HAHA! hic Doug laughed uncontrollably........... (Doug passes out)

Now we look inside Doug's journal of what happened that day:

Dear Journal,

Roger took me out for a night on the town. I drank a crap load of Vodka and whiskey. I saw Patti and was like "Hey baby hic yeah, I see you eyeing me, come here and give daddy some SUGAR." she said no , so I SLAPPED her. stupid dumb bitch wouldn't go down on me! Well after that, I sniffed 3 ounces of coke and passed out in the middle of the street. They had to call the paramedics, and now I'm at the hospital. I'm grounded and won't be able to go anywhere for a LONG time.

-Doug

P.S. Patti wore a red thong the other day

SHHWING!!!