Hello my name is Mocca.....well kinda, its a nickname but it's the name that I was born for....not with. I guess I'll tell you about myself. My real name is Sanora Michelle Avellan, which practically screams boring brainac or nun. My mother named me after a newsperson that she really liked at the time, and just so that you know T.V. is her life. As for my father, long gone, who would stick around? I mean nothing personal and I love my mother and all, BUT WHAT WAS MY FATHER THINKING! My mother sits around on the couch all day only getting up in between commercials to pee, or grab a bag of potato chips and various junk foods.

I have waste length straight black hair thats always in my face. Peircing blue eyes, with long eyelashes that I coat black mascara on. I'm not fat, but I'm not one of those petite skinny girls you see at school who are so popular with guys. Oh yeah! My age. Well lets say that it differs between my two lives, that one at school where I am 28 years old, mentally anyway.....and my home life where I'm a normal 16 year old girl fighting with her parent and struggling to get my opinion heard in this world.

How do I get my opinion heard? By painting of course! I can't say that I'm good or anything but I sell three or four art works at the art fair that happens every month. I love to paint pictures with people in them, I don't know why maybe its because I can do people really well. But if you see one of my landscape pictures or a still-life you'll think Is this by a kinder gardener or some thing?' and walk away to some master piece that shows perfect trees and flowers in vases.

Why do I have two separate lives you ask? The answer, I can't speak the same way to people as normal functioning people do. I can't say that I'm shy....well with guys I guess I am. But I can't really talk to people I don't know very well. It's hard to explain, I could know' you for years but not know how' to talk to you in fact most or the time I don't talk. I can talk to my friends; some how I've made friends.......I can't remember how with most of them. Amazingly if you try hard enough and you're very careful, I just might consider you trustworthy and then I can talk to you freely like anyone else.

Sadly most people don't even bother and just think, That girl is so quiet......' and the worst part is when they tell you or ask you why. I can't answer because I don't know why so please just turn and walk away!

I tend to space out a lot, but I have a reason! If no one talks to you (because in the end that's what happens) you will going to dream land often. Once last year I found out that apparently I glare while I space out. My friend said that i give everyone this I can't believe that I'm here with these pitiful life forms' look! I tend to study people too, which of course scares the shit out of them if they catch me.

Which brings me to my saddest detail in my life I have never had a boy friend. The reason of course is my endless silence around people. I've never had a first kiss, or even been hugged until recently, and then I moved away from that particular boy. The sad part is that people just guess that I have a boy friend and that he must be really morbid, and serious that or twisted and using me for sex and stuff.

Now to my second life. At home/with friends. Once a janitor who hung out around the library that I was helping at said that I was like a candle, When I see you with your friends your face is lit up, and you are free and so strong; then when you are alone the flame is snuffed out and there is no emotion but sadness on your face. it was creepy to hear but it was the truth. When I'm with my friends its like freedom is given to me and I can be witty, funny, and happy. That is how my friends know me the girl with two sides, like a card. Once side has a face and personality and the other side.