I worte the poem. I didn't intend for it to be used here, but it works so well. I just love this story. It helps to get all of my sickness out. And I've been sick for so long.......HikariMoriyaku
Chapter 12: Peaceful, Forever
Dead to you
Gone forever
Frozen in time
Unmoving
So close to death
I want my wish
I need to sleep
Peaceful, forever
Stone cold
Too numb
Frozen shut
Silent
I need my escape
I need quiet
Just empty now
Peaceful, forever
Torn away
Hidden well
Falling forever
Drowning
Not much time left
Death is nearing
My sweet suicide
Peaceful, forever
Beastboy felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned. Cyborg stood there. Starfire and Robin were gone.
"Is she...dead?" Beastboy asked.
"Yeah," Cyborg said, tears comming from his human eye.
Beastboy looked down at Raven. She was still. There was no expression on her face. She was silent. She was empty. She was gone. His beloved Raven was dead. Beastboy set her back down on the table gently. He got his two feet on the ground. Cyborg stood next to him.
"Can I have a couple of minutes to say goodbye?"
Cyborg nodded.
"If you need anything, you know where to find me."
The half man turned and left Beastboy. The changling took Raven's hand in his. He brought it to his lips and kissed it.
"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry Raven. I'm sorry for all of this. If I hadn't tried to make you fight back, you could still be alive. But, you'd be under his control. You wouldn't be there and I would suffer more."
Tears poured from his eyes.
"But you'd still be alive and I wouldn't be here crying like the fucking idiot that I am. What in the hell did I do Raven? Was I the one that killed you? Why is everything so confusing?"
There was only silence. Nothingness filled the air taking Beastboy's soul within it. He felt like he had no reason to live, no reason to be alone in the world. He needed her to survive. He needed Raven to actually live.
"I'm sorry, Rae. I'm so sorry," he whispered walking away from her.
The darkness of the rest of the tower took him in. He walked towards his room, but changed his direction and headed towards another door. Raven's name still rested on the door. Beastboy opened the door. Memories of them together lingered in the room. More importantly, the memories that were only a few hours old. The last time that he got to live with her. The last moments he was alive inside. Pain was taking place of his childish demanor. He was losing touch with who he was. Without Raven, he couldn't be who he was. He had no reason to make people smile. His smile was dead. It died with her. He died with her leaving an empty shell of a boy that used to be. Beastboy was living, but inside of him, he was dead. Dead without her there. No reason to be alive. He was drowning inside of himself. He was falling out of existance. He was disappearing into the shadows. He was dead. Dead forever.
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Yeah, this chapter is kinda confusing. But once you get it, it is really sad. Yeah, I hate having those kind of emotions in me..........HikariMoriyaku