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Chapter 10- Dinner With Friends

"So, Haldir," said Rúmil as he shot off an arrow, watching it embed just left of center in the target.

"What?" Haldir questioned, doing the same but hitting the center of the same target.

Rúmil grunted, rolled his eyes and shook his head as he watched Haldir do that again. His elder brother smiled triumphantly and set his bow to the ground, leaning on it and looking at him. Rúmil sighed and took his last shot, this time hitting the target right of center. One day he just wanted to hit the center of the target when against Haldir so he could gloat, but that day was nowhere close. He leaned on his own bow then, and smiled, "So what were you really doing with Laereth when I walked in this morning?"

Haldir glowered at him, and turned to shoot his last arrow. As he aimed, he said, "We were doing just as we said."

When that was finished, landing in the center of the furthest target, he turned again to Rúmil, "She came to give me the ring that naneth left for her to give to me, then I showed her about the talan."

"That was all you did?" Rúmil looked at him suspiciously. "I am no expert on the types of tensions that result from years of repressed and unspoken love, but there had to be something else going on… she did come from your chambers."

"We were never in my chambers," Haldir replied shortly. "And I really wish you would not talk of that. I have not been in love with her…"

Rúmil gave him an incredulous look, and shook his head in dismay, "Just because you will not admit it, does not mean that Orophin and I do not see it. We have always thought you took her leaving so hard because you were in love with her but could not say it to her."

Haldir gazed at him, remaining quiet for a long while, before sighing and shaking his head. Leaving him to stand there, Haldir walked toward the targets to remove his arrows. Rúmil waited for a few moments before following after him. Haldir said, "I would appreciate it greatly if you did not push this. I have enough to deal with on my own without you and Orophin constantly whispering in my ears that I should do something about it. Have you been reading the missives I never sent?"

"So you do not deny the fact that you are in love with her?" Rúmil called victoriously as Haldir again walked to a further target. "Everyone would just be happier if you two kissed and made up."

That was when he knew he stepped over the lines, when the angry look spread on Haldir's face and it turned red. Haldir marched back over to him, grabbed his collar to pull him close, and looked straight into his eyes, "Do not speak of that which you do not know! You know nothing of what it has been like."

"Know nothing of what?" Rúmil questioned cautiously, hoping that he did not take this the wrong way. He had never seen his brother get so angry before, and over such a little thing. Haldir was usually as steady as a rock when it came to everything in life. Hardly was he ever moved by anything. But then again, they were discussing Laereth, and that seemed to always ignite such fierce emotions from him, whether they be of extreme sadness, anger, or happiness.

Haldir released him quickly and looked away, "I am sorry. I let my anger get away with me."

"It is just that today is not the day to be discussing this with me," Haldir said. "I am confused over many things."

"Is any day a good day to speak to you about Laereth and what feelings really reside in your heart and of the thoughts in your mind?" Rúmil mused quietly, collecting his arrows and stuffing them into his quiver.

His brother glanced at him, sighing heavily, "No."

"You will have to face it sooner or later," Rúmil warned. "I may not know Laereth as well as you, but I do know that she will resent you forever if you let her leave again."

"Last time was not about 'letting' her leave," Haldir replied. "She wanted to go, so she went. She would have only disliked me then if I kept her here."

"Did it ever occur to you that perhaps she was testing you? Think of the situation you two were in when she first spoke to you of leaving," Rúmil said. "Were there any chances that she was testing you to see if you really did care for her, and that perhaps she was just not giving herself up to someone that did not? Did it ever occur to you that you let her leave, and she was angry because you let her leave?"

Haldir looked at him, and Rúmil could almost hear his thoughts as he debated the point Rúmil just brought up. But he shook his head, and turned to walk away. "I shall see you at the evening meal."

Haldir walked toward his talan, deep in thought over the argument with Rúmil. Was it really everyone's prerogative to care so much about his personal life? It seemed now that Laereth was here, not only were the old feelings returning, but everyone around him was making it their duty to shove it in his face, trying to break him of his resolve.

But as much as he hated to admit it, Rúmil made a very valid point at the end. When she had brought up leaving Lórien, they were in the situation that both wanted something more with each other. They had no idea as to what that something more was, but they knew it involved the very basic need of passion with another. The entire night had been laden with tension, and when she came out to have her bruises healed, he had nearly lost it. He felt such a strong pull to her (more than he was willing to give of himself) that it worried him, and he pushed her away. He pushed her away and told her he would not miss her if she left. Perhaps she was testing him that night, to see if he was willing to give more of himself than one fleeting dalliance. To try to determine what his real feelings with her were and that was why it had not gone beyond the argument and slamming doors.

He was such a dolt sometimes…

How could he have not thought of this before, and end up now getting philosophical advice from his youngest, and least qualified brother? Except that still did not mean Rúmil knew exactly what Haldir had promised so long ago.

Haldir climbed the last bit of stairs to his talan and heard soft laughter coming from within. He cleared his mind as much as he could manage with a long breath before stepping into the talan. The last thing he wanted was for more questions to erupt from Laereth because of the perplexed look he was sure was brilliantly displayed upon his face. Entering the talan, he glanced around, finding that Laereth was busy mixing some type of dough with her hands, and that Orophin was beside her, watching her work. Wondering what had happened with his real brother, who had never taken a predilection to cooking anything, Haldir closed the door, keeping his eyes on them as he tried to understand this all.

Laereth and Orophin turned together when the door shut, and Laereth smiled softly at him, "Who won?"

"Who do you think?" Haldir questioned, not bothering to tone down the arrogance in his voice. Everyone knew he was arrogant, so there was no point in trying to hide it.

Laereth chuckled, "Did you ever let him win as a child?"

"There is not such thing as letting someone win on the battlefield, Laereth," Orophin replied, nudging her side. "Right Haldir?"

"I have heard that many times before," Laereth nodded and chuckled. They must have already been dipping into his stash of good wine, because they were acting extremely odd. He watched as Orophin turned quickly back around and stole a strawberry from the wooden bowl. Laereth did not catch it until he placed the red fruit in his mouth and had taken one bite of it. Orophin smiled down at her displeased expression, chewing quickly before placing the rest of the berry into his mouth.

Haldir decided to interrupt what ever was going on between them for a moment, and asked, "Where is Cuileth?"

"The rest of our party arrived… I imagine that Failo was in desperate need of a bath, so that is probably where she remains," Laereth replied, turning back to the mixing of the dough.

Orophin raised a curious brow, "Failo would not happen to be her husband, would it?"

Laereth rolled her eyes, "Nay, that is her son. Though I am sure her husband Tinion is also in need of a bath as well... but that is for a later occasion."

"Failo, eh?" Orophin questioned.

"Aye, and I am warning you now to be on your best behavior," she said, glancing up at Orophin.

Orophin grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest, "What am I? An Elfling?"

"That is yet to be determined," she said and laughed.

Haldir watched the interplay with them for a few moments, realizing that even though many years had passed, their relationship had not changed in the least. Except now Orophin was older and Haldir was not too sure what that could mean between them romantically since they appeared to have such a comfortable, friendly relationship with one another. And then Orophin did something that Haldir had not prepared himself to witness. Orophin grabbed a hold of her waist, and bent her back, planting his lips squarely on her hers. The rage rose within him like an unstoppable eruption and he felt a sudden need to remove his brother of his head, or something equally important.

So involved in his own fury was he, that he barely noticed Laereth squirming desperately to try to get away from him. She pushed at Orophin's shoulders, and pounded with her fist, though it appeared to be halfhearted. But Orophin pulled back and righted her on her feet. Laereth still in complete shock of what had happened, stumbled back a step and placed a hand to her chest as she tried to catch her breath.

"Do you know any Elfling who can kiss like that?" Orophin questioned, satisfied with himself.

"I do not know many grown Elves who can kiss like that," she replied breathlessly. Haldir could not take it any more and went for his chambers and slammed the door shut. Oh what a lovely day this was!

"Thank you Orophin," Laereth grumbled. "Now the rest of the evening will be completely unbearable because of you."

Orophin scoffed at the idea, "He cannot blame me for feeling the intense urge to kiss you. It is his fault he has not done it already."

She grew quiet, "We are still on that tangent?"

Orophin shook his head and left her side, walking toward the sitting area to sit down and relax. They remained quiet for the rest of the time between then and when Rúmil showed up after getting cleaned up. Haldir came out soon after, though he made sure to stay a good distance away from his brothers by sitting the large chair across the room from them, glaring at them every so often. That made her wonder what had happened with Rúmil that he was so displeased about.

She was unable to flesh out this idea, though, as there came a knock at the door and Cuileth entered, followed by Bainon, but no Tinion and Failo. Bainon glanced around the room quickly, and joined her first. Laereth hugged him, placing a kiss on his cheek, "Did you leave the other two with a band of fell beasts?"

Bainon chuckled, "Nay… Cuileth left Tinion with an unruly Failo. So I suppose we left Tinion with a fell beast."

Laereth smiled, "At least you made the journey safely… and quickly. Only a day more than us."

"It was easy," Bainon said. "We strapped the Elfling onto the back of a horse and told him to hang on for his life."

"You probably traumatized him," Laereth said.

Bainon left her then to greet the others in the room, and was followed by quickly paced light footfalls outside the door of the talan. She glanced up to find her ten year old nephew barely through the door as fast as his short legs could carry him. Bringing up the rear was his exasperated father. Failo paused and looked around the room a few moments, a moment of worry spreading over his face with all of the large Elves in the room. She was a full grown elleth, and to be in the room with all of these rather imposing, large Elves was somewhat scary in itself.

And they certainly were large, robust, fine exemplars of their kind.

"Aunt Laereth!"

She turned then as Failo ran to her, and bent down to pick him up. She stood up, placing a kiss upon his cheek and smiling, "Did you have fun with Bainon and your father?"

"Uh-huh," he nodded his head quickly. "We saw the biggest spider in all Arda on the way out of Mirkwood. It was black and hairier than the ones I have seen before."

"Really?" she asked, feigning her enthusiasm for the story. Failo could really tell stories.

Tinion came to her then, leaning over and kissing her cheek, "He could not wait to tell you about his adventure with the spider, especially after you wrote that story and gave it to him."

"I figured that much," she smiled and set Failo on the ground. The child ran toward Cuileth then, and began the introduction process to Haldir, Orophin and Rúmil. She turned back to Tinion, "So are you happy to be back in Lórien?"

"I am very happy to be back. As of right now, I am leaning toward moving here, especially with the troubles from Dol Guldur picking up in forest," he nodded. "But the question is if you will remain."

"That is yet to be decided," she replied quietly, knowing that Cuileth and her large mouth often got away with her when she was speaking of things such as Haldir and his relationship with her.

Tinion smiled softly, "He is fool then."

"Do not say that now. Let us have a peaceful dinner," Laereth replied.

Luckily, it ended up being a pleasant meal for all. Even Haldir had put on a pleasant face, especially after Failo started questioning relentlessly about being March Warden. It was apparent the Haldir liked to talk about his position a great amount, and even the slightest mention of it made him happy. Once the meal was finished, the ellyn cleaned up the mess while Failo continued to quiz Haldir on other things before turning to Orophin and Rúmil. Then they all gathered about the large fire to talk while Haldir graciously entertained Failo with a game of strategy and concentration.

"Check," Failo said.

Laereth quickly glanced over at the dueling Elves, not believing that Failo was actually winning at the game Haldir dominated because of his keen abilities to strategize a battle with multiple people making different moves. But she chose the wrong time to listen in to their conversation. Failo said, "My aunt says that you do not like to lose."

Haldir let out a slight chuckle, "I do not like to lose."

"She says that is one of your faults," Failo continued.

Laereth thought to try to silence Failo, but knew it would only end up embarrassing her. So she watched and listened as Haldir smiled brightly, and glanced quickly at her. However, what was meant to be a quick look, turned into a lingering gaze at her from across the room. She tried to pull her eyes away from him, but she could not as he held her in one place with his piercing look.

"What else has she told you about me?" Haldir questioned, still gazing at her.

Failo glanced up then, and leaned over to whisper into Haldir's ear something she was sure would only embarrass her in the long run. A devilish smile crossed Haldir's features then, his eyes never leaving her. Haldir nodded and chuckled as Failo moved back into place, and he, with one easy move, checkmated Failo's king. The Elfling then tried to talk him into another game, but Haldir refused and stood up to stretch his legs from the cramped position they had been in.

The instant Failo yawned, Cuileth and Tinion excused themselves, which was then followed by Bainon taking his leave. She was once again left with her other three 'brothers'. The conversation was nice, but Haldir stayed out of it most of the time, sitting and looking at her as though trying to figure something out. It grew unnerving after a while, so she bade her farewells and left the talan to take a refreshing walk about the city. That was not until much later when something dropped out of the trees and landed in front of her.

She jumped back quickly, grabbing at her chest to calm her rapidly beating heart. And the instant she recognized it was Haldir, she smacked him, "How dare you do that to me! You better not do that to every elleth in this city in the late hours of the evening."

"I do not," he laughed.

"Good," she said, letting out a long breath.

Haldir smiled, and offered his arm, "May I escort you to the gardens, my lady?"

"I did not know I was looking for the gardens," she replied.

"You are now," he said, waiting for her to take him up on his offer.

They walked for awhile in silence, though she could not mistake that there was an odd air about them being with each other now. He took her to a stone bench near the small fountain in the garden, and they sat listening to the sounds of the evening about them. That was until he turned to her, "Tinion is a wonderful ellon, I am happy for Cuileth. And Failo is quite the character."

"They have a wonderful family," Laereth replied.

"Failo idolizes you," he said.

"That is only because I inspire his fantasies," she said and fixed her eyes on Haldir.

Haldir chuckled and looked down at his hands for a brief moment, "Inspiring the fantasies of an ellon is not necessarily considered a bad thing."

Laereth pushed him playfully and let out a nervous laugh, "You think so?"

"I know it is not a bad thing, because I fantasize about elleth, and I do no wrong," he replied with wicked grin.

"As each day goes by the more and more conceited you become," she said.

"That is funny," Haldir said and looked up at her again. "Because I get a somewhat contrasting story from Failo."

"What did he tell you?"

"That you think I am a wonderful ellon," he replied.

Laereth nodded, "And what he said was true, but you are still arrogant."

"So you do not think I am a horrible Elf?"

"When in our past have I ever said or alluded to the fact that I think you are a horrible ellon?" she questioned, in a slightly offended manner. Haldir narrowed his eyes at her, and she sighed. "Besides when I am angry with you."

"Then never," he replied.

Laereth smiled, "See?"

He laughed and looked away from her, again looking down at his hands, "You truly think that?"

"Aye, I do," she nodded. "Any elleth would be lucky to have you, and any elleth who only sees the title and the few moments of fun thy may have with you does not deserve you."

"We are back on this again, are we?" he raised a questioning brow and let out a low chuckle.

"I will stop… I do not want to argue with anymore. It seems that is all we are good at with each other," she replied.

"I do not know about that," Haldir said quietly, meeting her eyes. "We are pretty good at making each other laugh, especially after such incidents as swimming in Lord Amroth's private pool."

She rolled her eyes, "I think you got more pleasure out of that than I did."

"And you would probably be right," he laughed and sighed. "You know, as much as it pains me to say this, I think that we are perfect equals to each other, that's why it is so easy to argue and then find common ground after a good go at it."

"What do you want from me that you are trying your hardest to be overly kind to me?" she jested. And he gave her a serious look.

Their gazes locked, and she was literally blown away by the look in his eyes. It was evident there was much more there than the friendly ardor that they had only just been speaking of, but he was unwilling to say what was on his mind aloud. Despite that, though, she found herself trying to keep an even breathing pattern, but as he stared her down, it nearly became impossible to breathe at all. So she did all she could think of doing, and that was to stand up quickly and walk away from him. Laereth stopped by the fountain and turned her head slightly to him, but did not look at him.

He stood quickly and followed her, placing his large hands upon her shoulders, "Laereth, please…"

"Please what, Haldir?" she questioned. "I am not like the other ellyth."

"I know you are not," he said quietly, reaching around her waist and turning her easily to face him.

Laereth still did not meet his eyes, "You had your chance a long time ago, Haldir. Before I left, you had your chance to tell me that I was needed… in whatever capacity it was as friend or lover… but you did not. You told me that only Orophin and Rúmil would be hurt by me leaving. So I thought that since I meant so little to you, that it was best to go."

"You mean more to me than you could know, Laereth," he said.

"You have a funny way of showing it," she said.

"Think about who you are speaking to, Laereth. Have I ever really been that open with anyone?" he questioned. "You know I mask what I am really feeling with anger to push people away… it is the only way I can maintain no one will become close with me."

Laereth sighed, "I know that Haldir, but I knew you before you were like that. I suppose I always expected you to be like that. After our parents… after all of that…"

There was silence between them, and Haldir took her hands between his. He sighed heavily, "Laereth, you deserve to know the truth."

"The truth about what?"

"Everything," he said, and she glanced up at him. Haldir gazed down at her, "The way I acted toward you when you told me about leaving for Mirkwood was not from me not caring for you. It had everything to do with the fact that I cared so deeply about you… I do not know… It was just that you told me about leaving, and I instantly felt betrayed by you. I cared for you so deeply that it was like an arrow piercing my heart. You and I had promised to stay together for our siblings' benefit… you promised to stay with me and support me… but you left. You left just like them."

"Like your father and mother."

Laereth felt low. Very, very low. She never realized what an impact she had on him, because he had never really shown it, but with this admission of why he acted like he did, she could not help but feel like a horrible person for leaving him. Never had she thought of it this way… that she would be leaving him just as his parents had, to fend for himself and his brothers. Haldir never spoke to anyone about losing his parents because of the pain it caused him, and he had just taken and internalized it all those years and that was what made him view her leaving in such a way. Why had she not seen this before?

"How was I supposed to feel? I thought that you did not care for me as I did for you," he said. "The last thing in this world I loved was leaving me."

And the breath caught her throat again, as she looked up at him, "Haldir… I am sorry, though I think my apologies will mean little now."

"I do not want apologies, Laereth," he said quietly, reaching up and brushing some of her hair from her face. "It happened, I came to a place of acceptance and I have become stronger because of it. But that still does not replace the emptiness you left. When you were with me, everything was perfect."

Laereth took a breath, "Haldir, I have always loved you."

"I know," he said.

She waited for him to repeat the sentiment back to her, but he did not. There had to be something else he was not telling her. Something that he was not going to tell her for a long while… some reason why he still could not say those words to her. For now she would just have to live with the sense that he did love her, though she did not know to what extent it would end up being. Haldir leaned over her and place his lips to her hairline, and then to her brow before pulling back from her.

She pushed back from him, knowing she should go before she did something she would regret. "I should be going… Bainon will be wondering what happened to me."

"May I escort you back?" he questioned.

Laereth met his eyes, "Nay, I believe I can make it on my own."