A/N: Thank you reviewers!

Chapter 11- Is This Love?

Haldir had no idea what he had done the previous night, but he hoped that it had not made things worst between them. He personally felt as though things were a great deal better. With Laereth, however, there was no telling how she had taken the evening's conversation about her leaving Lórien the first time and of what he felt for her. All through the meal, and talking with her family, both by friendship and by blood, Haldir had watched her and how she interacted with everyone. He thought about all of their times together as young Elves, and how he had felt about her so many times, but had never really realized what exactly it was he was feeling. Years had passed, though, and with his ever growing wisdom came the realization that he was in love and there was no stepping around that. His dalliances with other maidens had cured him of his loneliness and not having Laereth for a time, but now the prospect of continuing on that path was not one he wished to think about.

He knew it was inevitable now… she deserved to at least hear the words that he felt. He loved her, he always had, but the promise to himself still weighed greatly in his mind. How could he ever fully commit himself to her with this predetermined vow? The very last person he wanted to hurt with the possibility of losing him was Laereth. Every single time he went out to the border, he would think of her and what could possibly happen while he was there. And what if they were to have children? What of his children? Would they experience the same fate that he and his brothers had? It just did not make any sense to him to commit to her with all of these unanswerable questions. He had always been very deliberate, doing only what he though best after getting answers to the questions before continuing.

But he could not do that with this instance.

He had to tell her he loved her, or he would surely combust from keeping it inside for so long.

Haldir walked along the paths of the city, and continued on to those on the outskirts, away from most anyone else who could bother him. He needed to clear his mind of all this, or at least completely come to terms with the fact that he was going to profess his love to her, and being away from others was the only way he could do that. Finding that he was growing tired of walking, he came to a deep stream that ran down a bit to a lake of clear, warm water. Balancing himself down on his haunches, he placed his hands in the water. It was warm for such a day, but he was happy for that because a quick swim would be exactly the thing he needed. His tunic was cast aside with his boots quickly, and he glanced around the forest, searching for any signs that someone would interrupt him. With a resigned sigh, he undid his leggings and swiftly jumped into the water.

Relaxation finally found him, as he swam beneath the water for a few moments and came up for air. But as he swam further downstream, he was overcome with the distinct feeling he was not alone. He looked around the forest again, but saw no one…

That was until he noticed Laereth sitting upon a flat rock, her skirts pulled up so that her legs could dangle in the water. She was scratching away busily at a book of parchment, completely unawares as to what was going on around her, or that there was a rather bare Elf within the water only a stone's throw away from her. Though, that thought made him worry, and even blush. His lack of clothing was something he was not usually ashamed of, but now caught within this predicament, he grew very embarrassed at his apparent nudity. Even the thought that they had often seen each other like this in their past was no conciliatory thing for his nervousness.

He knew not how he should approach her, though, and if she would be appalled by this. Luckily for him, he did not need to decide, as she placed her quill to the side, closed the cork in her ink bottle and turned to look in his direction as though she knew he had been there the entire time. Although her extremely noticeable blush told him she had not known he was there and watching her. Laereth quickly turned her eyes away from him, down at her book again, blowing on the ink before closing it.

"I will not look if you wish to leave now," she called out, her voice faltering slightly.

Haldir knew a laugh would not be the best thing for him to do, but he laughed nonetheless. She looked up at him quickly, meeting his eyes, and he let out a soft sigh. "Laereth, it is nothing to be nervous about."

"So you say," she replied. "It would be better for the both of us if you continued over to your clothes and dressed."

"Says who?" he questioned, knowing this was going where he did not wish to go… and that was towards another argument.

"Says I," Laereth said quietly, looking away from him.

Haldir moved through the water, to come closer to her. Perhaps he could make her uncomfortable, just to see what she would do about it. He stopped in front of her, and she noticing the arrival, quickly turned her head and did not lift her eyes. She made no attempt to divert her gaze as she stared down into the clear water, to which he found rather amusing. Haldir chuckled and placed a finger beneath her chin, to lift her eyes up to meet his. "Are you impressed?"

"I cannot believe you, Haldir," she said, closing her eyes. "You should be ashamed."

"I am hardly ashamed of my body," he replied and smiled evilly.

Laereth met his eyes and looked at him pointedly, "And if I were you, I would not be either, but to save yourself possible embarrassment, I would be."

Haldir chuckled, and was about to remark on her warning that he could become embarrassed, but was stopped by the sound of someone moving through the bushes. Then he heard the sound of calling out to her, a frantic, excited yelling of an Elfling. From the line of trees, came Failo barreling along the path, carrying an arrow out in front of him with a shoddy, but passable, fletching job. Laereth turned at the sounds and laughed as Failo ran to her, completely disregarding the fact that he was also there in the water. Deciding it best to step away from Laereth, to cut down on rumors that could be started, Haldir moved quickly down the stream to his clothes and quickly jumped out, pulling his leggings on.

By the time he had succeeded in that task, put his boots on and walked back over to them, Failo had reached her and shoved the arrow into her face. Listening a good distance away, he watched Laereth smile brightly and laugh at her nephew, "What have you got there?"

"Look what Orophin taught me to do today!" Failo said.

Haldir smiled to himself, remembering the day that Laereth had taken out the time to finally teach the eager Elfling Orophin how to fletch an arrow properly. It was the first day he really realized that his feelings were not so friendly anymore. And it was also the day they lost their fathers. The thought ran through his mind, and he could see the sadness in her eyes as well, as she also apparently recalled the day in her mind, but she masked it well.

"Do you know I taught Orophin all he knows about fletching arrows?" Laereth questioned, inspecting the arrow.

Orophin appeared from the line of trees then, a smile plastered upon his face as though he was a cat that caught the mouse. He was certainly quite pleased with himself, and Haldir instantly suspected this to be a ploy to try to woo Laereth into something that a sister and brother should not partake in. Haldir knew he was jumping to conclusions, but the thought remained foremost in his mind, knowing that if he did not make a move soon, his brothers, or some other 'evil' ellon, like Arphenon, would make their move on her. Orophin did not see him there, and continued over to the elleth and Elfling.

Laereth looked up at Orophin and smiled, "I believe you are an able-bodied teacher, Orophin."

"Well, I did learn from the best," he said.

Failo then proclaimed excitedly, "I want to be a warden!"

Laereth chuckled, and reached over to the Elfling to take a twig from his hair, "It is an honorable post, Failo, especially with the new March Warden leading now."

"I want to be March Warden as well! Like Haldir," Failo said.

Haldir had to laugh at the young child with such big aspirations. And he had to remind himself that had once been him, and if the Elfling truly wished it, he could probably make that happen. He sighed then, and secured his tunic about his body after wringing his hair out.

Laereth and Orophin both laughed, and the elleth smirked in his direction. Haldir met her eyes, and found himself deeply rooted into place. She had never looked at him like that before. It was a gaze of complete and utter admiration and ardor. Laereth turned back to Failo, "I think you will have to discuss that with Haldir, Failo. He will not abandon his post easily. But I think he will be happy to personally see to your training since your mother and father have decided to stay here."

Did that mean that since Tinion and Cuileth were to stay in Lórien, that Laereth would also? Perhaps he would not have to make a commitment to Laereth if she was going to stay. He knew, though, that was wrong of him to even think. To keep himself sane, he had to tell her… he had to really kiss her.

He had to make love to her.

Probably as his wife.

The thought caused a shiver to run up his spine, but he disregarded it, and joined the others. Haldir noted the slight look of annoyance Orophin shot his way, but the younger brother only smiled knowingly and turned to Failo, saying, "Your mother made me promise to return you in a timely manner, Failo. Let us leave your aunt and the foolish March Warden to their own devices."

Failo nodded his head vigorously and took off running in the direction of the city. Orophin stayed behind and looked over the both of them. "And it would suit you both well to just kiss each other and call it a day. I am incredibly weary of this game of cat and mouse you two have played since we were young."

With that, Orophin left quickly, leaving Haldir and Laereth stunned by his words. Laereth was the first to turn her gaze away from the path Orophin had taken, to gaze upon him thoughtfully. "He makes a good point, but I know not how you love me, because I fear my love is different than your love."

He slowly turned his head to the side, meeting her grey eyes and watched her for a few long moments. Now was the time. He squatted down, facing her, "I should have done this last eve, even though I cannot believe I told you what I did last eve. I had not intended…"

"Just tell me, Haldir," she said quietly.

"I love you, Laereth. I always have. I have wanted to have you to wake up to and come home to when I have been on the borders. I have wanted to have a family with you… we made such a good family with our siblings, I could only imagine how wonderful it would be to have our own children… and really have you as my wife…"

"But?" she questioned. "There is always something else."

"When our fathers died, and our mothers left, I made a vow to myself that I would not bind with another. I would not be responsible for the pain my brothers, myself or my mother had to live through to my own family. And least of all, I would want to do that to an elleth I truly loved… you, Laereth." Haldir said, feeling as though he were really pouring his heart out. He paused, trying to read her eyes, but they were unemotional until finally they watered and she struggled to keep her tears at bay.

Laereth let out a long sigh, "All of these years was because of that, Haldir?"

Haldir nodded, "Aye."

She laughed ruefully, "And I thought it was because I had never lived up to your dreams of an elleth."

"Laereth," he took a breath, and reached up to cup her cheek. "You know you are more perfect, especially for me, than I could ever wish for."

"I do not know that Haldir, though I feel that you are perfect for me," she said quietly, placing her hand on his hand upon her cheek. "This was all because of your father dying?"

"Aye," he said.

"Haldir, you cannot possibly think that something like that could have been prevented. It was our fathers' paths in life to take. They loved their Wood, they loved their positions, and it was those positions that brought them together as friends. It was their friendship that brought us together Haldir. What was meant to happen did, and perhaps without it, we would have never had the experiences we had together after all of the grief. Think of all the times we stayed up late laughing over something Rúmil had done, or talking about the new task Orophin had learned. Or the times you held me and I cried because I too missed my father and mother. Or the nights we would fall asleep in each others arms by the fire, because it was lonely by ourselves." Laereth said. "None of that would have happened if our fathers had not gone."

Haldir took in what she was saying, and knew that what she was saying was extremely correct. Perhaps it was the lot in life to bring them together. Perhaps their life together had a reason beyond their own knowledge. "But Laereth, I do not want to hurt you if something were to go ill on the borders or elsewhere. I am March Warden, and I would make sure I was hurt before any of my wardens fell. I love my vocation just as much as I love you."

"I know that Haldir… I know," she said and smiled tenderly, turned her head slightly to place a kiss to the inside of his wrist. The feeling of an intense warmth moved up his arm from that contact. "I would expect nothing less from you, my March Warden of Lothlórien."

"You do not care of what could happen?"

"Of course I care, and I would worry about you all the time you are gone," she replied. "But if you were meant to pass to the Halls, then I can accept that. It is the only thing I can do, Haldir. I would not try to take you away from your first love, when I want to be your second love so badly."

He smiled, and pulled her to her feet, taking her into his arms. Without giving her a moment to prepare, he kissed her squarely upon her lips, make sure to give as much of himself as he could through this embrace. When he released her lips, she gasped for air and let out a soft laugh. Mission accomplished. He sighed, "You are my first love, Laereth. Being March Warden comes at a very distant second."

"I know that is not true, but I enjoy hearing it," she said quietly.

"If you truly wished it, I would give up the title. Perhaps Failo would want it," he remarked. Laereth giggled and sighed. He kissed her again, this time, starting as politely as he could with a soft brush of his lips. And he need not continue as she moved her hands from his shoulders up around his neck and entwined them in his hair to pull him back to her.

When she was finally ready for more air, she pulled back, "I did not think it was so possible, Haldir… to find an Elf who could kiss better than your brother."

Haldir sighed, and that brought the glaring realization to his mind that perhaps Orophin would be unhappy with this. "It is so good because it is meant to be between us… but what of Orophin? Has he spoken of trying to court you?"

"The kiss yesterday was only to make you jealous," she replied. "I was told that Rúmil was going to do it some other time, in front of you. But I do not know if I would like to be kissed by him. He was rather sloppy as a babe."

He laughed, "I think the ellyth of Lórien would agree he has gotten much better."

"I am sure he has," Laereth replied. "Perhaps I should test that, though it would seem I have a jealous lover."

"It would seem? I thought you knew me and my jealousy," he said with a smile.

"It has been many years," she said. "My memories will come back to me eventually, Haldir."

He leaned over her and kissed her lightly, "I hope so, because I sincerely hope I did not pour my entire heart out to you only to be snubbed later on."

Laereth ran her fingers along his jaw line, and the up around the shell of his ear, stopping at the point, and caressing it carefully. "You will never be snubbed by me… though I would like to know what this means for us now. Am I to be courted, or are we to see to other, more serious things?"

His mind was nearly rendered useless by the slight caresses she was doing to his ears, as his body was taken completely over by the urge for flesh. "I propose a meal this eve, where we two shall be the main participants, and that no one else knows about. We will discuss it then."

"I shall count every moment until then, Haldir," she replied with a smile. "When should I have the meal prepared?"

He smiled and shook his head, "I shall cook, and you may arrive whenever you wish."

Laereth nodded, stepping back from him with a devious look on her face, "I will not miss it."

She bent down and retrieved her writing utensils. Without saying another word, she left him standing by the stream as she walked off toward the city. Oddly enough, he was happy he finally told her, and that she had accepted his worries so well. He was even more surprised just how she had rationalized it in such ways he had never really thought of. He was more than overjoyed to have her support, forever his number one believer in his dreams.

He only hoped he could balanced his duties with those of possibly having a new wife… and that his decision to bind with another would not come at too high a price to said wife and children should he pass to the Halls.