Chapter One - Reality's a Bitch

Through the stillness of night and the security of a familiar place, a young woman resides, lost in her dreams. Nightmares perhaps a better term to describe the unwanted memories of her past. A past where she was comforted by friends and was capable of love. That past was lost to her as a result of her foolish naivety. Even after three years, escape was still impossible. Plaguing scenes and words replay through her consciousness in slumber. In truth the said female rarely slept, fearing the nightly reminders of her former life. She didn't want to remember. She wanted to forget. Move on. Live her life out the best she could after everything she had lost.

That would never happen, she knew, despite the numerous times she had mentally debated the case. She would cast off sleep and somehow remain haunted. Haunted in the meaning of that she could never be far from the pain. Even in waking hours she was burdened with the memories. She couldn't shake her feelings for those left behind. Well, more truthfully... left her. But alas, all shall come in due time.

The aforementioned took this time to toss to her side only to violently return to her position on her back, kicking her covers to the dormitory floor. A few groans of displeasure erupted from her throat before the form bolted upright in the bed. Her chest heaved up and down quickly from the loss of air to her lungs. She shook herself awake and stole a glance to the digital clock on the stand to her left.

3:27 A.m.

A curse muttered about having let herself fall asleep and she was up with the music blasting. As previously found out by her neighbors in the college dorm, she was not one to be considerate of strangers' feelings. That was the old her, nagging in the back of her mind about how the music would awaken others in the night and disgruntle them for their morning of lectures and note-taking. This was the new her, however, and things are not that simple. She'd learned the hard way and she'd be damned if she'd make the same mistake again.

No more close friends to comfort her. Only mere acquaintances to make progress in her ever-growing hobbies. No more love to fill her days; she made quite sure that she had no time to even consider the possibility. No more being used by people. She had had enough. She was alone and she wanted to stay that way.

"If you're alone you can't get hurt. . " She logically told herself as she moved to the desk occupying a small space of the room. She had to admit, the rooms of this dorm were to her liking. Big enough to have a basic kitchen-- 'fridge, microwave, two-burner stove/oven and a sink; but small enough for one person to not feel empty. The girl, of course, occupied this room solely. No roommate. Her grades had allowed her that privilege. The school only had this special set-up in one dormitory, and she had been lucky enough to gain a place there. It was also convenient, seeing as how she limited leaving the room as much as possible. And to think. . . three years ago, she had been concerned about never graduating high school. Now she was labeled as one of the brightest students to have graced the college with her presence in the past two years.

A grin quirked the girl's expression then. Had it been a few years prior, she would have beamed a smile to rival the sun at that thought. She didn't smile now. She couldn't permit herself to smile. If she smiled, people would perhaps assume she was nice. Nice meant a person people could be around on a daily basis. And that would lead to friends and dates and. . . heartache all over again. No. Her head shook violently, sending raven tresses flying around her face. No, that wasn't going to happen. She had done all this before, hadn't she? Friends, love, happiness? Before. . him.

"No, dammit!" She pushed the thought aside as quickly as it had emerged. Writing. She was going to concentrate on her writings until eight and then she was leaving. A vaguely cheerful thought. Home. The first break from college when she would return home. Not to be confused, home was not far. A mere thirty minute ride. But her mother had understood her decision to not return for so long.

The first year passed by quickly, for she became entangled in the new world of studies. . and nightly occurrences not to be revealed so easily. She and her family would exchange phone calls, letters and e-mails. The e-mails for her brother, the letters for her mother and grandfather. The latter two seemed to refuse the new technology of the computer, her grandfather affectionately dubbing it 'the demon box.' She spent her vacations in her dorm room reading, finishing off assignments, and getting a jump - start on a few upcoming ones.

She had joined a poetry club and made her way to a local cafe where she now read once a month. She had a few acquaintances that she sang with, she had proven to be talented in music. Even learned to play the guitar and the violin-- to appease her mother. These people were not her friends though. Just people to be share creativity with. No more, no less. 'No commitment' is what she had told them and they had agreed. She calls them when she gets new ideas and such. It was amazing what a person could accomplish after three years of pushing every previous engagement and responsibility right out the nearest window.

To get back on track. .this year had been different. At first her mother had agreed to their previous arrangement, but one month ago she had changed her mind. Her mother had phoned, written and even paid her brother off to e-mail her. Why? One might ask, having not known her situation. To come home was the answer, simply enough. There was that word again. Simple. Nothing is simple. And on that note, she mused and vigorously worked on her newest pet project until the sun's rays peeked through the blinds at her.

"Already." She half moaned several hours later, pushing herself from the chair and filing the notebook into her luggage for the trip. She selected an outfit from her ever growing range of black, red and gray and slipped into the hall, in hopes of making it to the bathroom unseen. Her prayers were not answered. Just as she was tugging the door closed, the occupant of the room adjacent to hers appeared. She had never bothered to get his name. . . she really didn't care. It wasn't as if they would be spending any quality time with one another.

"Hey Kagome. ." He flashed her a quick scowl before she made to move by him, "your music kept me awake last night."

She made no verbal retort to his complaint but did take the time to flip him off over her shoulder as she retreated down the hall. He continued grumbling something as she turned the corner and entered the bathroom for her shower.

She was making her way down the sidewalk to the train station at the moment, styling a pair of black hip huggers that flared at her feet baring silver studs and a stripe of glitter down the sides, a pair of black combat boots and a gray tank top. Her raven tendrils were pulled into a messy bun, with the red tips flashing wildly as they fanned out over the soft ball. Her make-up consisted of gray eyeshadow, slightly darker than her shirt-- but was concealed by the sunglasses settled atop her face-- black eyeliner and wine colored lipstick. Her fingernails were manicured into the perfect oval shape, black with red tips. Surprise, surprise.

Her old self would have never dressed in this manner. But it helped her somehow to cope with the last three years of her life. Kagome enjoyed her new look, no mistaking that, she wouldn't appear in this manner if she didn't. Her mother had objected, not understanding that this gave her the willpower to be brave while making it on her own. It also did its fair damage of scaring some people away from befriending her. . and that didn't hurt either.

That was a lie. It all hurt. But it had to be done. She scared people away with her vulgar mouth and actions, and her appearance added to that. Part of her hated being lonely, but the other part just wanted to be left alone in peace, if she could ever find it. The latter overweighed her desire to have a normal life. The pain was too much to deal with and she didn't want anyone trying to pull it out of her. She grinned once more as she boarded the train after having gone through all the formalities. And there wasn't a person alive that could force her to do anything anymore. She had become quite the cocky smart - ass, never losing her sense of humor in the process. She was rude, blunt, and strong. And completely confident in her new strength. Oh yes, her new attitude would be perfect for her new life, and powers.

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"When will she get here?" A very eager kitsune questioned as he bounced all over the couch.

"Soon, Shippou." Kagome's mother plopped him in to her arms as she smiled down at him. She then turned her attention to the rest of the group gathered in her living room. Miroku and Sango occupied the wall space beside the frame leading out of the room while Inuyasha rested by leaning against the back of the couch, his face expressionless as he listened intently to the woman of the house. "We've spent the last month preparing for this. I've taught you everything about this era that I could manage in such short time. You've got everything you'll need. . but. . " She trailed off, sad eyes landing on a very handsome boy, sporting two fluffy triangles atop his head of silver hair.

"You don't think she'll want us here." He finished for her, shoulders slumping. The others remained silent, knowing this was a touchy subject for the hanyou. They had all played a part in 'the betrayal' as Kagome's mother had referred to it upon first meeting them after three years and all of them wanted to rectify that mistake. Yet, it was their unofficial leader that took the blunt end of the metaphorical knife. He knew what he had given up, but he had only learned the consequences from the two abnormally somber adults of the Higurashi shrine. Unfortunately, years too late to avoid the tragic outcome.

"You've told me all about why you all did what you did. . and I understand." She started, wondering how to phrase this gently. "But the truth is.. you hurt Kagome, not me. More than anything in this world, she wanted your love. And you used that against her. She never got over that Inuyasha, even after all this time. She never stoped loving you, no matter what she tells me... or herself." At his arched eyebrow she responded with the following. "Don't ask... I'm her mother I just know. All I'm saying is, be prepared for a fight. If you want her back it's going to take time and its not going to be a simple matter. She's still in pain."

He scoffed as he regained his usual attitude, mumbling a reply. "Nothin's ever simple."

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Preparations had been concluded the night before Kagome's homecoming. A banner was hoisted high over the fireplace, balloons decorated the corners of the living room, cake and ice-cream had been purchased, along with various other sugar high producing goodies and chips. A sound system had been prepared and the few people that her mother knew Kagome to hang around had been informed. Reiana had no clue how to re - introduce the group to her daughter, so they had all met in the kitchen and were currently watching her cook breakfast. Reiana had used the two guest rooms to adapt to her new guests, the older boys in one and Sango and Shippou in the other.

They were all expectantly eager to see Kagome. . they all had their questions about the reason they had returned in the first place, along with suspicions about this 'new Kagome' their adopted mother had spoken of with such sorrow. She didn't go into detail about the situation, merely made a few comments about depression, new clothes and a bad attitude. In truth she hadn't wanted to frighten any of them. She knew all about her daughter's heightened abilities... miko and otherwise. She hadn't revealed Kagome's secret, just as she had promised the girl, although she was curious now as to why her daughter had demanded such a thing when she whole - heartedly believed she would never lay eyes on any of them again. She ignored the thought as she began to serve her 'children' their morning meal. She smiled as she heard the doorbell. A nervous twitch of Inuyasha's ears offered her confirmation of the fact that it was Kagome.

Suddenly the group became very self-conscious. They had grown accustomed to the weird clothes and the advantages of the future, but this wasn't the future. It was their past. It was Kagome and according to her own family, she was not the same girl whom they had all once treasured so deeply.

"Wait here, please. She'll be able to sense Inuyasha, Shippou, and Kirara but I think it would be best if she saw me first." She gave the group a warm smile of compassion before she exited out of their sight. They listened to the rapid footsteps and then the door open. The five visitors gulped down their insecurity simultaneously.

Kagome stood atop the welcoming threshold of her old home. Upon her arrival she was forced to apply self-restraint. She couldn't deny the urge to let her storm hued eyes roam the area and take in the history of her life. A frown of disapproval set upon her features as she stared straight ahead to the door. She dropped her two bags at her sides in order to ring the doorbell. She shifted awkwardly as she waited, gathering up her bags into clammy hands. The black - haired beauty was not given the time to calm herself as door swung open to reveal an overly enthused mother. Kagome would have smiled at the image, but the moment she was ushered inside an odd feeling struck her gut.

Her eyes narrowed dangerously as she scanned the open layout of the house. Nothing appeared to be out of place or damaged. A sideways glance to her mother was all the proof she needed. Kagome spun around to face the woman with a look of accusation.

"What's going on, mother?" Came the question as the girl had already begun her search for the wrongness she could feel vibrating throughout the house. She made her way through the living room and peered in; finding nothing she moved toward the kitchen. She grinned as her miko senses kicked in, telling her that she was on the right path. Her mother gave a cry of protest as she neared her destination but Kagome paid no heed to the demand.

"No. . I want to know what the hell is going on and I want to know now. Why do I get the distinct feeling of a demon in--" Her words fell short from her mouth as she stood wide-eyed at the kitchen's entrance.

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And that's the end of chapter one.
Tune in soon for Chapter Two-- Facing Your Demons.