Of Phantoms And Phantom Thieves

Chapter 2: And The Plot Unfurls

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So far, life had been dull. Being dead wasn't easy nor was it a walk in the park. Not, at least, if you were pining to be alive again and plotting such feats.

Working with a thieving mishap of a magician had somehow worked itself into the details. Not that said magician minded. Oh no, on the contrary, he was ecstatic to have chibi helping him. They'd even carved some sort of relationship with one another. A decent one.

Okay, fine, I lie. It was magnificent the way the two cousins bonded almost instantly.

Oh… Yeah. By the way they're cousins, but, that's a story for another time, thank you very much.

That still didn't make up for Kaito's life of crime, but alas, what was one to do about such notions when it was to resurrect him.

How the hell had his life become a video game? He loathed video games!

All this added up to one thing:

Kaito standing in a shimmering, glittery, orange jacket and faded jeans on the Mouri's front step.

It gave Shinichi images of Kaito with magenta hair (1)…

'Conan' sighed and let him in.

"Do you know why I'm here?" Kaito asked thus sprawling himself at an odd angle on the agency's couch.

Shinichi stared… And stared. Shook himself and sat down. "No, I don't… Do I even want to know why?" He asked wryly seating himself upon the couch opposite of Kaito.

"No. No you don't." Kaito said with all the solemnity he was capable of. The suddenly a grin split onto his face. "Buuuuuuuuuut, I'm here to tell you!!" He cheered.

"Oh great!" Was the sarcastic reply he received.

"I thought up a new 'plan of attack'!" He exclaimed, waving his hands in air for emphasis.

"Which is-?"

"We steal the Raiju no Tama from the Hokkaido National Museum, in 9 days, at Midnight!" He sang.

Shinichi blinked and sighed once again. He absentmindedly noticed that he'd been doing that a lot lately. "Right. You've been doing research or you just makin' this stuff up, hmm?" Shinichi paused a minutes, eyes wide. "What did you mean by 'We steal'...?"

Kaito's grin was not a comforting one in the least.

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It was noon.

Hattori Heiji was happily lounging around in his ducky pajamas (2), watching re-runs of shojou anime (3), and sipping apple cider (4) when his moment of bliss was interrupted by an annoyance of a phone call.

"What do you want Kaito?" He asked bitterly as he bit the straw of his cup. The phone rested between his ear and shoulder.

"Hattori-kuuuuun!! You, me, an' Chibi-chan are goin' ta steal a gem next week!" He said in a singsong voice. There was an audible squawk of profanity from a very young sounding boy at the mention of 'Chibi-chan'.

Hattori blinked and his eyes narrowed. Not that his dear friend Mr. Breaks-the-law could see it but it was in his voice if you listened hard enough. "No." With that he hung up.

He was resting down into his fluffy green couch 'Jeremy' (5) when the phone's ringing broke the peace into pieces. Knowing who it was, Heiji ignored it-

-Up until the point upon which the answering machine caught it and Kaito began saying 'PLEEEAAASE!' in every accent and voice he knew, including Heiji's.

Heiji had enough when he started on doing Kazuha and 'Conan's'... Mixed together.

That, my friend, was not a pleasant sound to one's ears.

"Fine, fine, you stupid Ahou. Where, when and how?" Heiji scrawled down the address for where they would meet and plan. "Okay. See you tonight. Ja."

With that he went back to his lounging. Lounging was fuuuuuuuuun.

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Notes:

Heiji, Ran, Kogorou, Kaito, Aoko, Kazuha, Agasa, Ai, and a few others do know who Conan is. However, the Shonen Tantei think Conan moved back to America. I couldn't have them thinking he was dead. That would bring about them wondering why everyone was so happy and why he or she might mention Conan in a conversation. That would derail the main plot of the fan fiction. They won't be appearing in this fic. o Sorry.

Conan lives with the Mouri's since he doesn't want to be alone. Ran is just happy he's back and she knows Kaito and Aoko as well. She also knows about the Pandora and what it could do for Conan. All is well. This is, after all, a humor fanfic.

Yes, Shinichi and Heiji are going to help the KID steal something. Don't ask me. Details will be revealed later.

Also, the cause for Shinichi's death soon. Next chapter maybe. And there's the Heist and Birthday party to look forward too...

More later. Review Minna-san!

Song-sama loooooooves reviews!! XD

Notes Edited Version:

-1- This is for all those Gravitaion fans out there. Now who do we know with an orange jacket and a hyper attitude? It also vaguely disturbs me that Shinichi watches Gravitation… Well… Actually it explains the Shinichi/??? Yaoi ficcage.

-2- Yes. Heiji owns ducky pajamas. They were custom made by a greatful rich man's daughter after he saved her from a burning cat… Yes. I said CAT.

-3- Shoujo anime… Yeah well, like I said, Yaoi ficcage. XD

-4- Apple Cider IS the drink of the gods. Heiji, though being no where NEAR god level, likes it too. Go figure.

-5- Ah yes… This is the most important. THE NAMING OF THE FURNITURE!! With Gaijin names! If you think Jeremy is creepy wait 'til you meet Caron… It's a life size barbie doll head that lives in his attic… No. He doesn't do pervy things with it.

And the moral of the chapter is… DAMN, Heiji's messed up. O.o

There is certainly more in the future now than back in 1964.
by Roger Daltrey

Shinichi: I should hope so…