Of Phantoms And Phantom Thieves

Chapter 3: From The Ashes Of The Phoenix

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For one Ran Mouri, the hardest thing to deal with in her life so far had been death.

The death of her innocent young "charge" Conan.

But more importantly, the death of her long lost love; Kudo Shinichi...

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It had been a rainy afternoon. One, which was not to be underestimated. Great dollops of water cascaded from what seemed a vengeful darkened sky.

The 'Great' Detective Mouri Kogorou was returning, by car, from a case newly solved and on it's way to newspapers around Japan. His memories of solving the case nonexistent. Just like every other case Conan 'helped' Mouri-ojisan with.

Yawning Conan glanced out the window at the muddy slosh gathering on the dirt road. It was way past bedtime for even the normal nocturnal habits of Kogorou. And that in it's self was a bit much. The man usually stayed up drinking and watching Yoko Okino specials and usually had a nasty hangover the next day along with the annoyance of songs stuck in his head.

He noted idly that Ran was peacefully sleeping and probably wouldn't wake up until they reached their destination.

Conan twisted his body to lie down on the front seat to try and get a small rest himself.

He didn't see the car racing down the slippery road at high speed. And neither did Kogorou.

Until the car came blaring at them, lights on bright, blinding Kogorou. Needless to say both Ran and Conan were jerked awake by now.

He hit the brakes and the car spun wildly out of control and collided with the other vehicle. Then the other car rammed them away with the momentum it had gained and slammed them against a purple fork-leafed tree.

Conan's head had smacked violently against the window and smashed him against the dashboard before all was silent.

"Is-is everyone okay? Dad? Conan?" Ran had said, wide-eyed with panic and fear.

Conan's chest froze up. His breathing had become strenuous and labored. He hadn't realized that he'd hit his chest until now.

"C-Conan!?" Ran shrieked reaching for him from the back seat.

Before he blacked out he saw Kogorou pull out his cell phone and dial what he could only guess was 911.

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The next thing he new he saw a lot of blue. Not that he didn't like blue or anything but... Death was blue!?

After that he remembered waking up... In a hospital.

The helpless crying of a young woman, Ran, beside him. He reached out his hand to comfort her when he realized his hand hadn't moved. Not an inch. He was still chibi sized Conan but-

-He could see the rest of the room through his hand.

Conan had squawked and fallen of the bed. More surprised than he should have been to see a pale, solid, brown-haired image of himself lying in the bed. Not breathing.

For the first time in a long time, Conan felt scared witless. Which he was.

Many details follow. Some sentimental, some weird.

One being that the car that had instigated the accident happened to be a little old lady speeding to the grocery store to buy cat food... And she didn't own any cats. However, I digress.

Conan had spent an immeasurable amount of time trying to alert the Mouri's (Mostly just Ran. He didn't give a clue what Mouri knew...) to his presence. In all aspects it had only taken three days.

Three very, very, long days.

In which it took 1 Heiji Hattori, 3 misplaced magazines, 12 wooden spoons, 7 rolls of orange duct tape, 18 broken toothpicks, 1 roll of icicle Christmas lights, and 2 very stingy ferrets with spiky collars (1) to awaken the fact that Conan/Shinichi was very much dead but still with them.

Which had scared the heck out of Kogorou and he'd called in an exorcist. Since Ran didn't seem too happy that her father was trying to exorcise her boyfriend she chewed him up for that one but good.

Since then Kogorou had done numerous things to get revenge. Such as trying to rent out Conan/Shinichi's room. He, of course, failed. Multiple times.

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Shinichi sighed with exasperation, Heiji twitched uncomfortably and Kaito had to do a quick double take to make sure what he was seeing was, in fact, real.

"Ano... Shinichi. It may be out of line for asking this but... Why the hell is your bowtie pink!" Kaito queried, eyes wide with shock.

"Because, thieving baka, Ran's revenge tactics are worse than any you'll ever know."

"Even a mop?"

"Mop? Uh.. Yeah. Even a mop."

Heiji blinked. "Kudo... How did Mouri-san get your bowtie... if it's all ghosty... just like you?" It sort of looked like Heiji's brain was having a melt down trying to wrap itself around this small piece of information.

Kudo-kun cocked his head to the side in a confused manner that all but fit his child-like (if see through) exterior. He then gave them a small smirk. "I may not be solid, but no one ever said that I was untouchable."

"Oh." Kaito looked thoughtful. "So... If you want someone to be able to touch you they can?"

Shinichi nodded sagely. Which was quite creepy, really.

"Wow, and here I thought the line between alive and dead would be stricter than that." Mused Kuroba.

Heiji just blanched. "Can we get outta this closet now, please?"

"Ick. That sounded wrong." The Kaitou murmured.

"You hangin' with that Voodoo girl again?"

"She stalks me. It's not the same.

"Right."

"Yes, well I do believe that the girls have stopped hunting us down with pitchforks. So I think it is a necessity we get out of here."

Heiji sighed with relief. Hiding from four nagging females that wanted them to go shopping with them wasn't fun. Especially not when you're trying to plan a thief's heist. At least Kudo had lots of spare closet space.

Kaito had muttered something about how the girls had been gone, for what was probably, the better half of the hour. The muttering changed to cursing when Heiji not so accidentally knocked him in the face with his foot.

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Aoko, Kazuha, Ran, and Sonoko, all chatted amiably amongst themselves as they sat at the local mall's ice cream parlor. Akako had departed mysteriously as soon as they passed the 'Voodoo For The Ages' store, and while Ran and Sonoko wondered, Aoko told them it was a usual occurrence.

"Ya know, I don't think we should come here anymore…" Murmured Kazuha.

"Yeah," Ran said taking a forlorn look at the posters for new flavors of ice cream, " I don't think 'Wild berry Cheese was EVER meant to be created. Kind of like Frankenstein…"

The silence between them stretched.

"So!" Aoko said breaking the silence. "What are you planning to get Kudo-kun, Ran-chan?"

"Err.."

"Yeah, fess up!" Demanded Sonoko. Kazuha just nodded and licked her strawberry ice cream cone as it began to melt.

"Well…" Ran began nervously, "I was planning to get him that new mystery book he wanted and…" The last part was murmured very quietly.

"What!?" Question Sonoko, Kazuha, and Aoko instantaneously.

Ran just blushed.

"That's awesome!" Sonoko cheered.

"That's a wonderful idea Ran-chan. Ah… I wish Heiji'd give me something that thoughtful."

There was a long pause as three sly grins beamed at poor Kazuha.

"Err… heh heh heh.."

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"Feathers!?"

"Yes feathers. Geeze, Hakubaka, if you keep asking questions we'll never finish writing this down."

"You write this down?"

"Yes. That's what the paper is for."

"Grrr…"

"Huh. I should look for that archive. That'd be fun."

"You say somethin' Heiji?"

"Nope. Not me!"

"Thought not. Chibi-chan, bring me the pliers!"

"Why?"

"…………"

"Oh."

"I didn't know those could bend that way."

"That's what steam rollers are for."

"…………"

"…………"

"…………"

"What!?"

"Let's not question 'im. He's prolly got one. Somewhere."

"Agreed.

"Alright."

"Hey Kaito?"

"Yeah?"

"Why WAS there a slot in the dove house?"

"… So they can fly out when lifted and fly in when no one's AROUND to lift it."

"Oh."

"What I want to know is why, and how, did you stick your head in it Heiji."

"Err… Caron ( See chapter 2-Author's Note 5) told me to do it."

"…………………………..Right"

Soon they had freed Heiji's head from the grips of the evil dove house with the use of grape jelly and curry powder.

It turned Heiji's HEAD a sickly color of Maroon.

Because, honestly people. What did you THINK they were doing?

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Notes:

Sorry I haven't updated for a while. Been busy.

-1- This is dedicated to Ysabet BECAUSE she is one of the most talented people I've EVER read. As is to Icka M. Chif. I'll dedicate one to her soon too. Just because they rock.

…Although I doubt she owns spiky collars but… Ya never know.

And the moral of the chapter is… Boys', when left to their own devices, will inevitably end up doing something innocent that sounds VERY wrong to some who has no idea what's going on.

Yay for misconceptions!

Weird Random stuff…

Woman: "I got a set of golf clubs for my husband"
Friend: "GREAT trade!"

How do you scare a man?
Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?

Did you really throw your husband out on the street naked, for taking a bath with Bubbles?
Yes I did, and I threw Bubbles out too.