Letting It Out
Her heart began to beat rapidly in her chest. Quickly opening her eyes she woke form her sleep. She sat up as the images of the night before flashed in her mind. Jack waking her with a gentle touch to her cheek. The kiss he gave her as he left. Sawyer. Her and him swimming in the water and Jack watching from shore. Him turning away. Had he seen her with him? Of course he did. Otherwise he wouldn't have turned away. But what had she done with Sawyer? She remembered the kiss, but after that it was a blur.
Suddenly she looked around. She sat in the same place were she had falling asleep the night before. After whatever they had progressed to Sawyer must have carried her to this exact place. With that theory there were still flaws. Touching her hair she felt it dry and crisp as if she had sat in the sun for hours since the swim, but it was nearly noon. Even know the sun on the beach was strong it wasn't capable of drying her hair out within a few hours.
She also noticed that her clothes weren't the least bit damp. Far from it. So if her hair and clothes were dry and she couldn't even remember the rest of the night it could have only been one thing. A dream. Kate felt relieve that it was only that. She knew deep down she would never let Sawyer kiss her. She was so glad that she didn't have to face Sawyer that morning and talk about something she had done the night before. Or worse explain her actions to Jack. It would've been heartbreaking.
Placing her head in her hands she took in deep breaths of ease.
"Morning Freckles." That voice greeted her. She slowly looked over brushing her hand over her face. She was wrong about one thing about the dream. Facing Sawyer. She always had to face him. She let his greeting slide of her shoulder as her rested her head in her arms as they rest against her bent knees.
"Something wrong?" He asked in a sort of bother tone.
" No." She moaned.
"Just a long night." She smiled meekly turning he face towards him.
"Yeah…" He began as if to know something about why. Kate's stomach sank. Maybe last night wasn't a dream.
"You were tossing and turning all night. So bad wouldn't let me go to sleep" He gingerly laughed.
"Why?" She asked.
"Guess I was worried about you or something." He said not being able to quite look her in the eyes.
"Oh." She whispered as it became hard for her not to smile.
She couldn't believe that he was worried bout her. After that it became very quiet and awkward between them.
"Well I'm gonna get up out of here before good ole' Saint Jack comes checking up on you." Sawyer announced as he got up.
"Check on me?" Kate questioned picking her head up.
"Yeah he was walking round here last night. He leaned over and checked on you." Sawyer explained walking off. This struck Kate. In her dream Jack checked up on her. What if that part actually happened? What if she didn't dream it?
She didn't want to confront this now. All she wanted to do was clam down and relax before anyone got up. Since Jack of course hadn't shown up yet like he always did she had some time. Getting up she headed to the surf. Carefully stretching out her body. Making it to her destination she slowly sat down in the sand making herself comfortable. As she looked about onto the horizon she began to think back to her past.
A Year Ago
Kate stood in front of a mirror prepping her self. She stood in a luxurious penthouse. Furnished with the finest furniture and trimmings. She had the life. Everything she wanted at he call. Looking into the mirror she felt beautiful. With her designer dress surrounded by all beautiful things.
She nearly jumped with excitement as she heard the door open. Pretending not to notice she hid her smile as she watched her fiancé walk over to her through the mirror. He was a talk handsome man of about 6feet. He had short brown hair that was buzzed nearly to his scalp. His chiseled face was covered with light stubble. He looked absolutely gorges in an all-back Armani suit as he walked up behind her.
It was terribly hard to keep her smile away as he wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her towards him. "You look positively amazing." He whispered with his British accent in her ear. She had no words as she looked through the mirror into his eyes. She was too in love with the moment to spoil it with words. "Are you ready yet?" He asked as he turned her around. "Not yet. Just have to do my hair." She replied. "And not with out this." He said pulling a velvet box out form behind his back.
Slowly taking it form him she opened it. Inside sat a beautiful diamond necklace. She was taken back. "Jack…" She began with a lost for words. "You like?" He asked. As if he needed to. "Yeah." She nodded. A smile came to his face at the satisfaction of putting a smile o her face. "I'll go put it on as soon as I finish my hair." She announced as she headed to the bathroom. "Go and hurry up. The limo is waiting for us." He reminded after her.
Getting dressed and putting on her necklace she headed out for a night on the town with Jack. They headed to a charity event for the city museum. They weren't well known among anybody. But rich enough to get whatever they wanted. But the night ended short for Kate. Having to catch a flight that night for Australia she left Jack and headed home.
Her friend Susan, who she had known since she was young came over to help her get ready. "Kate your leaving jack alone for two weeks while you're in Australia?" Susan asked putting some clothes in a suitcase. "Yeah. Why?' Kate question as she tucked a piece of her shoulder length hair that had come undone for, it's bun behind her ear. "Well because you know men-' "And I know Jack." Kate pointed out. "I sure hope so." Susan sighed. Kate stared at her friend wondering why she would even accuse the man she loved of something so hurtful.
As all was packed up Susan drove Kate to the airport. Parking the car and getting out she walked her to entrance. "You have a good time." Susan said as she wrapped her arms around Kate. "I will." Kate smiled as she pulled away. She stood there for a second before she turned around and headed inside. Quickly before she forgot she turned back around. "Susan." She called. Susan turned around. "Here. Give this to Jack." Kate instructed as she handed Susan a sealed envelope. "I will." Susan smiled. "Thanks.' Kate said as she hugged her friend one last time before letting go and heading into the building.
Kate pushed everything out of her head as she walked through the airport. This was going to be a happy trip. She wasn't going to worry about what Susan had said about Jack. But it still lurked in the back of her mind as she headed to her destination. Through the security and the searching she finally made it to her gate. An hour and a half too early. Not wanting to head through security again she decided to just sit and wait.
She sat the whole time watching out the window as plane landed and took off. Looking up at the clock it was a little over 10 minutes till they started boarding. Suddenly he phone began to ring. Taking it out of her pocket it was Susan. "Hello?" Kate answered. "Hi." Susan said in a very sullen voice. "What's wrong? You sound upset." Kate questioned. "I went to give Jack your letter." Susan began. Kate began to worry. There was something wrong with Jack. "Yeah." Kate encouraged her. "I went upstairs and…' She started again as her voice became teary. Kate's heart began to pound in her chest. "He was… Um in bed with another woman.' Susan got out as she sniffed back her tears.
Kate could not believe it. It had to be some joke Susan was pulling on her. "You're joking. Right?" Kate asked with sorrow in her voice. "No sweetie. I wish I were." Susan reassured her. Kate was in shock. Dropping the phone her lap she went out of reality. The man she loved was cheating on her. They were supposed to get married and now she had nothing. What was she to do? "Kate. Kate. Kate." She heard over and over again as she sat there life less.
Kate sat staring at the water as tears formed in her eyes. "Kate.' She heard again form behind her. She jerked around to see Jack standing behind her.
"Are you ok?" He asked with a gentle laugh. She simply nodded her head as she looked back to the horizon. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him sit beside her. She didn't look over.
"So you checked up on me last night." Kate put out trying to make conversation. Jack didn't know how she knew. He could've guessed and probably got it right.
"Yeah. I was checking on Shannon. The nights seem to be the worse for her. And I saw you were kinda restless. So I looked over to check on you.' He explained look over to her.
He saw a tear roll down her and began to worry.
"Kate." He began slowly. "What's wrong?" He asked calmly hoping she wouldn't turn him down. She looked over to him.
"You've been out of it for the last day or so. You've barely slept or eaten and now your having nightmares. There has to be something on your mind that's bothering you." He put in plain words.
"Nothings wrong Jack." She insisted looking back to the water. "Then what were you thinking about so hard that it took me four time to get you away from it?" He asked.
Looking over at him she knew he wasn't going to give up.
"My past." She whispered. He suddenly felt strange. Knowing that cause her so much grieve ate at him.
"Tell me Kate. Maybe it will make you feel better to tell someone." He begged her.
"You really wanna know Jack?" She asked. He nodded his head in assurance. She sighed as she looked away.
"About a year ago I was engaged. We were so happy and I couldn't wait to get married. I was so in love." She began as Jack could already hear the tears in her voice.
"What was his name?" He asked. "Jack." He heard her whisper.
This hit Jack. Her ex had the same last name as him.
"The day I headed to Australia I had went to some event with him and then I headed off. I had my friend give him a letter from me. And uh…" She stopped. He saw a single tear run down her cheek. He began to feel bad that he brought it up.
"She found him in bed with another girl.' Kate said softly before she nearly broke into tears. Jack couldn't stand to see her like this. He just acted. He gently took her into his arms holding her close.
"Shh." He whispered as he thought about what she said. He had no idea something like that caused her so much grieve. But he wondered if the reason she was with the Marshall had anything to do with this. Had she done something to this guy?
He didn't let it bother him as he held her in his arms. She just sobbed uncontrollably as he ran his hand through her hair trying to clam her. It took a while before she even moved. Pulling back she looked up to Jack. He seemed only to feel sorry for her now. She felt closer to him. Drawn in to him. She looked up into eyes becoming lost in them. Looking to his lips she leaned in, as did he. She tenderly touched her lips to his kissing him. Spreading her lips over his she felt weird but comforted. With his arm still wrapped around her she felt protection.
His lips were soft as they played over hers. This was the release she had needed. She had nothing in her mind in that moment, but Jack. Feeling a cool breeze wash over her she pulled back unwillingly. Looking up into his eyes she saw affection, as he wanted her to be happy. Tears began to sting her eyes again.
"It's ok." Jack whispered as he kissed her forehead. She slowly eased herself in his arms as she rested her head on his shoulder. Sitting there she just wanted it all to go away.
Sitting there for a while the two realized they had other things to do.
"Well I got things to do." Kate smiled as she got up.
"Me too." Jack said as he followed.
"Look Kate. Don't let it bother you. You deserve better. Right now we're all starting over." He said ending his statement not knowing what to say. She looked to him with a smile. She leaned in and kissed him lightly on the cheek.
"Thank you.' She whispered with a smile as she walked away.
Heading up the beach she walked around picking up everyone's water bottle. She got the oddest looks from some people. She knew it was most likely because of what had just happen. Brushing it of she headed up to Sawyer's tent. Walking over to the doorway she saw him standing there with his back turned. She decided it best to make herself know before entering.
"Knock knock." She said. Sawyer turned around as she waved a bottle in the air letting him know why she was there.
"Freckles. Just who I wanted to see." He said with a smile. "Really?' Kate questioned with a laugh.
She felt so different after she had let go out on the beach. Sawyer's comments really didn't affect her.
"You seem in a better mood." He hinted as he hand her his bottles. "Yeah." She replied squatting down to out them in her backpack.
"So saw your little display of affection with the doc on the beach.' He blurted out. There it was. She knew he had been hinting at something. She just rolled her eyes as she stood up.
"So was he good?" He asked. She sighed. "What do you mean Sawyer?" She asked as if she had to explain anything to him.
"As me?" He questioned in that cocky tone.
She turned to him.
"Why do you care?" She asked. "Just wanted to know if he knocked your socks off." He answered.
"What like you did?' She asked wondering where he thought he was going with this.
"Well wasn't exactly watching you with a telescope, but just didn't see the same lust filled reaction you gave me." He explained with that smile completely gone. She still saw the greed he was getting out of it.
"Sawyer you are so egotistical I don't know where to begin." She said as she turned around and headed out of the tent.