CHAPTER 9
"Oh Lydia you look beautiful!" Susan clapped her hands in delight as Lydia walked into her room.
Lydia smiled. She'd gone for as simple as possible in a light blue dress and a simple side bun in her hair.
She didn't look like she belonged in a royal court, far from it, but this dress felt like something she could've worn in England which is the reason she'd chosen it.
.
"Do you really think so? This dress is so plain compared to yours." She said indicating to Susan's dress. With gold flowery embellishment adorned on a dark green fabric, Susan looked every inch a queen making Lydia feel that whilst her own dress was lovely and very her, it didn't make her look very Narnian.
Of course it helped that Susan was glowing from her honeymoon.
Susan's smile was radiant and hadn't left her since she'd arrived back from her honeymoon with Glendan.
It turned out her worries about meeting the family had been unnecessary since as she'd told Lydia "They kept bowing at me for something as small as handing them the butter dish."
This meant that the newly-weds had returned to Cair Pavarel in high spirits unaware of the troubles that had been happening closer to home.
Now, Lydia bit her lip as she watched Susan fan out her dress. Since their return that morning, Lydia had been tasked with making sure Susan and Glendan stayed unaware of what was happening, at least until after the ball.
"It has to be you Lydia" Lucy had explained that morning, "Me, Peter and Edmund are so busy with the fallout of this trade blockade, we can't spare a single moment and it would be wrong to drag Susan into this as soon as she comes home."
The pleading tone of her voice had forced Lydia to agree.
Watching Susan check the position of her crown for at least the third time, Lydia coughed "I think we should be heading down now Susan, we don't want to be late."
Susan glanced at the clock, "Gracious, look at the time! I expect Lucy and the boys will be already down there waiting for us."
She took one last look in the mirror then strode out the room, Lydia following in her wake.
It was, Lydia thought as she stumbled on behind her, a miracle how Susan could walk so quickly in that heavy dress with those heels. She sorely wished she could be as refined and mature as Susan who was practically gliding across the hallways.
It was true shed spent the last few days rushed off her feet with preparations for this ball but then Susan had spent all of yesterday travelling. As they turned another corner, she idly wondered if she'd taken lessons when she'd become queen and then resisted the urge to smirk.
It had become more and more apparent to Lydia over the last few days through their habits that, despite Susan's regal nature, the others had decidedly not taken lessons on how to act royal.
Funny how shed only noticed this after she'd received Aslan's offer.
At that moment, Susan abruptly stopped causing Lydia to almost crash into her.
Susan turned back to look at her "Now are you ready? We should be able to start soon."
Lydia craned her neck to try and see the ballroom, "No one ever actually told me who was invited to this ball.
Susan laughed "Most of the guests were at the wedding and then most of Redhaven is here as well." She leaned in a bit closer, "A lot of them were very curious about you."
Susan's smirk looked a little too much she was enjoying this for Lydia's liking and she opened her mouth to say so when they heard a shout.
"Are you two going to stand there talking all day? We're already running behind."
Edmund's voice carried through the hallway as he, Peter and Lucy stepped out from around a pillar where they had seemingly been waiting for Susan and Lydia.
"We are not late! Really Edmund there's no need to take that tone." Susan huffed crossly as her other siblings climbed up the stairs to join them.
Lydia painted a smile on her face and tried to catch Edmund's eye but he was determinedly looking the other way,
She could feel him come up behind and stand next to her back straight. The hairs on her arm were on edge as he got closer but every inch of her was determined not to react.
"Are you walking me in then?" she asked trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice.
Edmund lips twitched and for a moment she thought he was going to grin or crack a joke but instead he just sighed, "Tonight's going to be difficult enough for you as it is, it appears Susan and Glendan brought a lot of unfriendly people with them. It's better to show a united front."
Lydia resisted the urge to roll her eyes and just smiled politely. The Narnian court would never consider her as important as their precious war heroes. After all, where had Lydia been when the White Witch had been defeated?
As if Edmund could read her mind he turned to look at her on that last thought and Lydia stared back almost glaring, daring Edmund to say something about her leaving. If this was his way of guilting her to stay then it wasn't going to work.
Edmund's eyes narrowed and then he looked away with a soft shake of the head. From this angle Lydia could see the bags under his eyes, pale purple next to his pale skin.
She sighed and took his hand. Clearly this was a conversation to be had for later.
At that moment the doors opened and the six of them walked in. Susan and Glendan were shining and Lydia was sure that Peter and Lucy were probably looking their best as well but it seemed to be her that was getting the most attention.
Whispers followed her through the hall Lydia could feel hundreds of eyes scrutinising her. She felt a blush creeping up her face as there was an outbreak of whispers following her through the room.
No one would dare say anything to her, she knew that, but it was clear what they were thinking. "Look at the new Daughter of Eve" they'd say when no one important was in earshot, "Look at the girl who doesn't quite fit in, who surely can't be anything more than a burden."
She felt Edmund's hand tighten against hers and chose to ignore how her heartbeat quickened
She focused on putting one foot in front of the other until she'd reached the front of the ballroom and sat herself down on the gilded chair next to Lucy's throne whilst the Pevensies stood waiting for the orchestra so they could open the ball, Susan having been passed over to Peter.
As they danced, she could see why they were so beloved by all. With Susan's dark green dress, Lucy's pale pink dress, the boy's smart uniform, the elegant way the four of them danced...
Yes, Lydia thought. Definitely royal.
She looked over to Glendan, hoping that he would feel the same but he seemed entranced by the dancing couples.
She leaned over to him, "Why aren't you dancing with Susan?"
"People felt it was better that I didn't do the first dance, something about decorum." He said keeping his eyes fixed firmly on Susan.
"And you're not bothered by that?"
Glendan turned to give her a confused look, "Why would I be bothered? It doesn't mean Susan wouldn't dance with me if she could. Besides -," he said leaning back against his chair, "I think Peter wanted to talk to her about something."
Lydia looked over to the dancers and saw that Susan and Peter were indeed in deep conversation, Susan looking unusually angry about something. Lydia bit her lip and said nothing.
After the first dance, the Pevensies left the floor to light applause to go and talk to some the guests. Susan and Lucy were immediately hounded upon by a flurry of ladies and nymphs all desperate to become acquainted with the young queens.
Lydia felt her blush return when Lucy beckoned her over
"Wish me luck" she muttered to Glendan as she stood up but he just laughed
She picked her way through the crowds once again feeling several pairs of eyes follow her across the hall.
She put on a smile once she reached the group of women and put her hand out to shake someone's hand.
No one took it.
"Everyone, this is Lydia. She's only been here a few weeks yet has already become a dear friend to us." Lucy beamed round at the group and there was a murmur of welcome.
One of the ladies, who Lydia assumed was not a Narnian, looked Lydia up and down.
"That dress is a lovely colour. Such a charming shade of blue and so very pale." Lydia wasn't quite sure how to respond to this and eventually went for "Oh thank you."
To her confusion, several of the ladies laughed at this and Lydia forced a smile on her face as Lucy turned the conversation to how lovely the gardens were in the autumn.
The group listened to her descriptions of the dryads garden with undivided attention for a good while and Lydia almost allowed herself to relax until she saw Peter making his way towards them looking extremely concerned about something.
"I'm sorry to interrupt ladies, but could I perhaps borrow my dear sisters for a moment?"
At Peter's arrival there had been a rush to straighten dresses and rearrange jewellery. Now the entire group simpered and smiled at him and Lydia had to bite back a laugh as he blatantly ignored all of them.
"It was lovely to talk to you all." Lucy said as herself and Susan rose up and made to leave.
As Susan passed her, Lydia felt a light touch on her shoulder and a whispered "Sorry" before she hurried off after her brother.
Lydia looked around and her smile faltered as the vicious stares she was receiving from a few of the remaining ladies.
"So Miss Lydia" said one of the older women, with an emphasis on the 'miss' "We're all dying to know how you've been finding the palace so far." Lydia felt herself grow cold and involuntarily shivered
"It's all been very lovely. The High King and his siblings have extremely generous." She stammered, not making eye contact.
"Yes how lucky you've been." the woman drawled and a few of the ladies tittered and smiled at one another.
"How fortunate you are, that the High King took pity on you and took you in. Then again" She paused and looked Lydia over condescendingly "I doubt such a generous king would be able to ignore your poor desperate pleads."
Lydia's eyes flashed.
"Are you suggesting that I pressured the High King into letting me stay?" she said feeling her temper emboldening her I can assure you I had no intention of staying in Narnia."
Much to Lydia's infuriation, the ladies all laughed again
"Oh, I would never suggest anything of the sort. I was merely commenting on your fortunate circumstances." The lady looked around at her friends and smiled again "My dear, there's no need to be so sensitive."
Lydia's eyes narrowed. She didn't quite know how to respond without humiliating herself yet she couldn't leave now as it would show she was bothered by the comments.
Her discomfort was duly noted as one of the ladies whose dress vaguely represented a peacock piped up "Are you not used to being in the company of other women, my dear?"
Before she could answer she heard someone say "Perhaps, where she comes from, it's more normal for girls to spend time with boys."
Lydia tried to agree with that suggestion that, yes, she was not used to the social hierarchy of middle aged women but the woman with the horrible smirk from earlier supported by her giggly friends looked at Lydia's chest smirked and said "Well it's not like you couldn't pass for a boy is it?"
She gave a high little laugh and most of the group had trouble hiding their smirks behind their fans.
Lydia felt her fists tightening and resisted the urge to slap the old bat "I'm sorry? Who exactly are you?" she said through gritted teeth.
The woman gave her a fixed stare "I'm surprised you haven't been told. I'm Lady Corvetta, I've been part of the Narnian court an extremely long time, little girl." She smiled again and Lydia grit her teeth. Lucy had warned her about some of the women in the court here. There weren't many, what with Narnia containing many creatures but the ones that were there were nearly all of noble birth and clearly weren't afraid to get their claws out.
Lydia had no choice but to feign a smile and hope that someone moved the conversation on. It was then to her dismay that she realised Lady Corvetta wasn't done with her.
"I have no idea how things are run from wherever you're from, but in this kingdom we have respect for our betters." She took a menacing step towards Lydia. "You have no right to come swanning in when you clearly have no place here."
"Excuse me! I earned my place in Narnia, just like the Pevensies did before me." Lydia retorted angrily.
"Nonsense, you helped catch three insignificant spies." Lady Corvetta swept aside Lydia's argument.
"You didn't help defeat the White Witch, you didn't bring peace to this nation and you are completely out of your depth," she gestured to Lydia's dress. "Look at this. Can you even dress yourself properly?."
Lydia felt hot tears prick her eyelids. She couldn't let this old hag see her cry, she just couldn't.
"I'm afraid I find myself in need of some fresh air, if you'll excuse me." Before any could say anything, she quickly walked away towards the glass doors leading to one of Cair Pavarel's balconies.
Now alone, Lydia could let the tears flow. Those horrible women had just shred all Lydia's confidence to pieces with just a few carefully chosen words. She had never really been as bothered about her appearance compared to the other girls at school but she didn't want to be a laughing stock.
She fingered the dress that earlier she had thought beautiful. Was it too pale? Was she right in thinking it made her look childish?
"Lydia?"
Lydia whipped her head round, furiously wiping her eyes thinking that perhaps it was Lady Corvetta come to have another go but relaxed when she saw it was only Edmund. She must have glared at him since he held his hands up in mock surrender "I take it you were expecting someone else." He grinned but his face fell when he saw the expression on Lydia's face.
"I just came outside for some fresh air after a delightful conversation with Lady Corvetta." Lydia said leaning against the balcony walls, her smile not quite reaching her eyes.
Edmund hummed and nodded in understanding. "From what I've seen of her, she can sometimes be quite…ruthless in her interrogations."
He moved away from the door and went to join her, looking out at the setting sun.
"Joking aside, how are you feeling Lydia?" Edmund's voice was much softer now.
"I know I shouldn't care what other people think but I just really wanted to make a good impression," she looked away into the distance. "This is just proof that I can't make a life here I just want to go home, Edmund. I know that's not what you want." She said quickly seeing he was about to interrupt. I know you've been avoiding me." She sniffed and wiped her eyes furiously. "I know you're angry at me for wanting to leave."
"I'm not angry and I've not been avoiding you." Edmund said calmly.
"Then why do you refuse to speak to me then, make excuses not to be around me?"
"Because I'm trying to get used to you not being around alright?" His voice suddenly took a harsh tone and he ducked his head, embarrassed.
Lydia stared at the back of his head, shocked.
"I didn't realise me leaving would affect you" she eventually choked out, "I'm sorry"
Edmund turned to look at her, "Can you honestly say you haven't enjoyed your time here?"
"I'm not entirely sure," she said. "I preferred it when everything was simpler, I'm not made for the life of battles and ball gowns."
Edmund brought his hands up to rest on the railing "I wouldn't mind a simpler life sometimes," he said, looking at the Narnian landscape.
"All this fighting….I'd like a little peace" he murmured and Lydia immediately felt uncomfortable, as if she was intruding on a private moment.
Tentatively, she reached a hand out to rest next to Edmund's. "Has anything happened?" she asked in a quiet voice.
Edmund sighed. "I suppose you were going to find out sooner or later," he ran a hand through his hair wearily. "I didn't think I'd have to be the one to tell you though."
"Tell me what?"
He grimaced and looked down, avoiding Lydia's piercing gaze. "We're going to war," he swallowed. "With the Calormens. We received the war declaration about an hour ago, which is why we had to leave the ball."
Lydia felt her heart sink like a stone. This was exactly what she'd been afraid of ever since her first day here. She wanted to cry and rage but found that her tears had gone so she just stood there, frozen.
Edmund was watching her closely.
"Please don't say what I know you're thinking." he pleaded. "Not tonight."
"What do you suggest I do instead then?" Lydia muttered. "Pretend that it's not going to happen?."
"Dance with me."
If she didn't know him better, Lydia would say that he looked almost cocky and after the last few days she was tempted to refuse but it was the fact that instead of a crooked grin there was fear in his eyes that found her nodding.
She stood there for a moment, not sure what to do but then slowly Edmund moved to wrap his arms around her and she tentatively placed her arms round his neck. They started to sway slowly to the soft music that floated out from the ballroom. Lydia could feel heat radiating of Edmund and she held on tighter.
"I wanted this moment to look back on," Edmund whispered, his breath hot against Lydia's ear.
"A quiet moment, where we're not arguing or worrying about politics or anything else. The calm before the storm."
He leant in closer and they were so close, Lydia could feel her heart pumping in her chest…
"Edmund," she whispered, pulling away from him. "I have to go and tell the others, it wouldn't be fair to just spring this on them."
"No just sleep on it, you're upset and scared, hell, we're all upset and scared. Don't do this now."
"I," she hesistated and she could feel herself growing more and more weary.
She sighed, "One more day" she said firmly, "One more day but then I've got to go"