Alone
(Part Two, Ginny's POV)
You don't know how long how I've wanted
To touch your lips and hold you tight, oh
Ginny was lying on her bed, her head propped up on fluffy pillows. There was a haunting look on her face. She was staring into nothingness, eyes blinded by a stream of unsettling thoughts and tears unshed.
She saw him again earlier that night. It had been so long.
She sighed deeply and turned to her side. A look of surprise passed across her face as she caught sight of her wall clock – two-thirty. She has been tossing and turning the whole night, not a wink of sleep.
Prepare for yet another sleepless night, Gin, she thought to herself, as she resigned fighting the emotions flooding through her, the forbidden feelings she had kept all these years now running amuck in her mind and heart.
You don't know how long I have waited
And I was gonna tell you tonight
"Fine," Ginny said at last. She groaned as she sat up and started to get out of bed, "don't let me sleep. This is all your fault. Ugh." She stood up to open the window and let the cold draft in. She didn't matter the cold. If she couldn't sleep, she'd just count the stars.
She looked out the window and started counting. Even as a child she had loved looking up at the vast night sky. There was something about the stars scattered across the mysterious dark sky – like diamonds on velvet. She suddenly stopped when she noticed a very familiar figure. It made her heart skip a beat.
"Draco," she softly whispered the name of the man she have thought of more than anyone else that night.
Ginny closed her eyes and remembered Draco as she saw him at the ball – his sleek blond hair, his angular and aristocratic features, his stormy grey eyes. No, she didn't just see him there. She looked at him, kept on stealing glances whenever nobody, especially Harry, was looking. And now she wondered whether there was passion and fire behind Draco's piercing grey eyes.
But the secret is still my own
And my love for you is still unknown
Alone
And Ginny believed he did. She knew there was more to him than what meets the eye. She was sure because her eyes had followed him when they were still at Hogwarts. She knew he has so much conviction on the cause his family believed in, no matter how wrong they were, how much he loved his mother, how much he loved his art – his talent. And she knew that a man with conviction has a lot of passion in him.
Yes, even then she had adored him from afar. From a distance she tried her best to know him well. She loved him well, too, though nobody ever knew it. Oh how she loves him still.
Tonight she had the chance, but she didn't grab it.
"If you only knew how much I wanted to come to you and tell you that I've loved you for so long," she whispered regretfully, tears starting to flow from her eyes as she stared longingly at the constellation from which the man she love was named after.
Til now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
Ginny sighed desperately and wiped the tears that flowed to her cheeks. She turned away from the window and sat at the edge of her bed. She reached out to her nightstand and got her diary. She flipped on its pages and found a clipping from the Daily Prophet. It was a photo of Draco during one of his interviews with the wizarding newspaper.
You've grown so much, yet you have not changed, she thought. She was still the same Draco she had met one day at Flourish & Blotts. He still had his domineering presence, his insolent smile, his cold hard stare. Ginny had not realized that meeting had changed her life forever.
She didn't know how she could fall so hard for someone who hated everything that she is. He could never love me, why should I care?
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone
But I do care, there's no stopping my heart from beating so, Ginny told herself bravely. She wanted so much to hold him, wanted to melt the ice and igniting the fire that she knew he had.
"If you will only let me…" she said aloud. But he was nowhere to hear these words. It was just Ginny inside her room. She had never felt so lonesome.
She held the photo close to her heart and closed her eyes. She imagined his constellation shining brightly, then suddenly all Ginny could see in her mind's eye was Draco's face taking over the whole night sky.
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Song Title: Alone
Band: Heart