Chapter 19

Summer watched as Anna slept peacefully, her chest rising and falling evenly.

The eerie hospital lights illuminated Anna's gentle features, giving her skin a ghostly, porcelain doll look.

Summer sighed. She felt so helpless watching on, when Anna looked so fragile. She had never noticed before but Anna really was tiny. She appeared especially tiny now that her body was buried under the thick hospital blankets, her head just poking out of the covers.

Summer mused over the conversation she had just had with Anna. She smiled slightly as she remembered how Anna just sat there listening so intently, hanging on every stupid word Summer had said.

That was until Anna drifted off when Summer had been talking.

That didn't surprise Summer, this wasn't the first time her excessive talking had bored people to sleep, but somehow she was comforted by the fact that Anna wasn't bored. She had been doped up with pills and she was that exhausted anyway from the operation she had been through earlier that week that it was inevitable that she fell asleep.

Summer rearranged herself, trying in vain to find a comfortable position in the most uncomfortable hospital chair in the world.

Seriously, it was the worst chair ever.

Summer had tried her luck when she saw that one of the male nurses was hot, and she played that to her advantage so she could maybe get a better chair. But her charms hadn't even worked on him. What the hell was with that? Maybe she wasn't trying hard enough. Well, it is hard to flirt with someone when you have someone else on the brain twenty-four-seven. Stupid Cohen.

Summer was shaken from her thoughts as she felt Anna stir beside her.

She smiled as Anna's eyes flickered open.

Her eyes darted around the room in confusion at first, as they always did whenever she first woke up there, then fell onto Summer sadly.

"Oh, I'm still here." Anna said, half frowning.

She then pulled herself up gently and forced a smile to hide the pain it caused her for that simple move.

"So," She began, clasping her hands together readily, "Where were we?"

Summer raised an eyebrow.

"We were talking 'bout Cohen…. who else." She smirked.

"Oh, of course. How could I forget?" Anna added playfully.

She grimaced a bit and put a hand to her ribs, gently rubbing them.

"Are you OK?" Summer asked uneasily.

"Yeah fine," Anna brushed it off. "So, come on…you can't just leave me here waiting."

"Waiting? It's nothing really. Like…yeah…don't worry about it."

Now it was Anna's turn to raise her eyebrow knowingly.

"Summer, before you were like busting to get it off your chest. Now tell me…that's an order. You have to take orders from patients…its part of your job description." She grinned.

"You've been hanging around Seth too long," Summer rolled her eyes. "And besides, that is like my old job. Totally old school. Plus it was for charity,"

She paused, thinking of Cohen again.

"I'm like never going to live that down am I?" She pouted.

Anna grinned again.

"Not with Seth around,"

"Anyway, will you talk already…I have other people coming after you, you know. I can't lend my services to everyone in need." She said sarcastically.

Summer rolled her eyes again. It was weird but she was getting along so well with Anna and she couldn't get over how much she was actually enjoying being in that room with her. Even though Summer like hated hospitals ever since Seth's little ordeal.

"OK…but seriously. It's so stupid. I'm going to sound like an immature, selfish little bitch. Well…OK, not that that's really such a big shock to people,"

"But, yeah I…I care what you think." She added quietly, her eyes glued to the floor.

Anna let a small smile escape her lips. She couldn't help it.

"Summer, do you seriously believe I'd think that?"

Summer looked up at Anna. She trusted her so much and she had no idea why. She just felt so comfortable with her. And she had the mad urge to just tell her everything before she exploded.

Summer took a deep breath, then decided to just plunge straight into it.

"OK. Well, when you…when you…you know? When Cohen thought you were…"

"Dead." Anna finished for her in a tone so matter of fact.

"Ah, yeah. That. Anyway, he was so…so devastated you know? And…oh god how do I say this?" She wrung her hands together nervously. A trait she had unfortunately picked up from Marissa.

"I couldn't even bear to see him the way he was. I felt like I couldn't even do anything for him and believe me I like so desperately wanted to help him. OK, I'm really not good with feelings and stuff but here goes. I was like jealous. Jealous that he would be that depressed over you and I just…OK I know I shouldn't of even thought of this but I was thinking how would he be if that was me and not you? You know? What if I had died…would he be that depressed over me?"

Summer could feel her face grow hot but she didn't care, she needed to get it out.

"God, I'm a bitch I know…you don't have to say it. I…I just…I don't know." She finished weakly.

There was silence for a minute before Summer plucked up the courage to look at Anna.

She expected her to be angry or for her to pity her. But surprisingly, Anna looked sad.

"Summer…"She began, reaching out her hand to touch Summer's. Summer, taken aback, fought the urge to pull away. She used to hate physical contact and all that emotional shit. But now, Summer was kind of happy Anna reached out for her.

"Look, I don't think you need me to tell you how Seth would feel if you…well god forbid, but if you died. You are his world. I know that you know that in your heart somewhere."

Summer reached up and brushed her fringe from out of her eyes and tucked it behind her ear.

"I don't deserve him." She stated bluntly.

"What? Of course you do. And he deserves you."

"No. Anna really…you know it. I didn't even know he existed up until a few years ago. I was like the biggest bitch ever and I don't deserve him. God, I can't believe he named his boat after me…he even remembered that stupid mermaid poem I made in like grade six." She muttered more to herself than Anna.

"Summer…" Anna began, then frowned as if rethinking something.

"What?" Summer asked intriguied.

"Seth could of died. He could of overdosed for real and seriously hurt or killed himself. You know that. But do you know why he didn't?"

"No." Summer answered slowly, not sure of where this was going.

"He didn't because of you Summer."

"Say what?"

Anna smiled.

"Ryan and I may have physically stopped Seth from taken those pills. I hid them and Ryan threw the rest down the sink. But that wasn't really what stopped him. It wasn't really what helped him. What stopped him was not Ryan, not me. It was you. Only you. He loves you Summer and you're the reason he's still here today. So I think that's something to be proud of. "

Summer sat stunned. Every soft word Anna had said spun around her head, and she was afraid to catch them and let them sink in. Afraid that what Anna was saying was the truth.

Summer felt her eyes watering unwillingly.

Anna let go of her hand, and the gentle movement caught Summer's attention.

"He's at the pier. At Summer Breeze."

Somehow Summer understood.

She nodded and rose in her chair to leave, but before turning she threw herself at Anna, hugging her a little too tightly. As she pulled away, she gasped.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry…did that hurt?"

Anna laughed.

"No Summer. Go…he's waiting."

As Summer left Anna smiled to herself, reliving the memory of the conversation she had had with Seth Cohen just minutes before Summer Roberts breezed through her door.

Hehe the next chap will b the conversation seth has with anna before this chapter takes place : ) hope u enjoyed ;)

Hope everyone had a Merry Chrismukkah! Lol so cute and hope everyone had a awesome day and got loads of pressies : )

Please read and review ;)