Again, I don't really like song fics….sigh…but this was my first slash fic! C'mon, humor me.
What Might Have Been
Sure I think about you every now and then
Remus Lupin stared at Lily, eyes misty. She looked so beautiful tonight, auburn hair curled, virginal white wedding dress trailing behind her as she walked towards James. Remus smiled reminiscently; there was a time when he and Lily had been closer than close…romantically close. Now they were great friends, deep friends, but Remus sometimes wondered…
But it's been a long time I've got a good life now I've moved on
Remus knew he still loved her in someway, knew that sometimes his world spun until it rest on her and only her…but he also knew that his feelings were far from romantic, even though he had often mistaken them for it.
So when you cross my mind
Remus shook his head and clapped as Lily and James shared their first kiss as wife and husband.
I try not to think about what might have been
Sirius cuffed him on the shoulder, knowingly. Remus smiled his thanks, barely noting Sirius's own smile, which looked rather forced.
Cause that was then And we have taken different roads
"Both of you've changed, Moon," Sirius whispered in his ear softly. "Gone your separate…if slightly crossed…pathways."
"I know Pads…I know."
We can't go back again There's no use giving in
"What would'a happened, Pads?" Remus asked rhetorically.
There's no way to know What might have been
The after party came quickly. James danced first with Lily, then Sirius as the 'on-papers-best man' then Remus as the 'best friend I guy could have but unfortunately not as a best man as I can only have one.' People had laughed at that one.
"What went wrong with us, Remus?" Lily asked, purely for conversations sake.
We could sit and talk About this all night long
"Weren't meant to be," he answered with a smile.
And wonder why we didn't last
"I had fun," she said with a giggle.
"Oh, me too," he answered mysteriously, with a fake wink that sent her into hysterics.
Yes they might be the best days We will ever know But we'll have to leave them in the past
"Moon, uhm, can I have my bride back?" James cut in, looking as if the need was physical. Remus smiled and nodded easily, kissing Lily's forehead before gliding off.
"Don't think about it," Sirius advised him, appearing at his elbow with drinks.
"Yeah," Remus agreed, accepting one.
So I try not to think about What might have been Cause that was then And we have taken different roads
"Beat the temptation!" Sirius joked, but Remus took his words to heart, and realized…there was no temptation. Loving Lily was something he didn't.
We can't go back again There's no use giving in There's no way to know What might have been
Remus tried to explain to Sirius what he was feeling.
"See that glow in her eyes, Pads?" He asked.
Same old look in your eyes
"Yeah," Sirius answered honestly.
It's a beautiful night
"She used to look at me with that glow."
I'm so tempted to stay
"Did she," Sirius deadpanned, not looking at Lily, His own overly bright grey eyes were trained on Remus.
But too much time has gone by
"Yeah," Remus said. "That glow, but not that look. You know what I mean? Same glow, but in like…not in love." Sirius knew what he meant.
We should just say goodbye And turn and walk away
"Yeah, and ya know what, Pads? I don't care anymore." Sirius raised his eyebrows and gave him a fleeting grin, but it disappeared quickly.
"I'm going for a walk, k Pads?" Remus asked.
And try not to think about what might have been Cause that was then
Sirius didn't answer. "Pad…foot? Sirius? Sirius Orion? Paddy? SIRI?"
"Egh," Sirius shivered, coming to. "Just…egh…that name."
And we have taken different roads
"What's wrong?" Remus asked. The look on Sirius's face had been one of total serious thought.
We can't go back again
"Nothing…can I walk with you?" Sirius asked.
It's not use giving in
"Yeah, sure, I'd like the company. C'mon," Remus said , leading the way through a door.
There's no way to know
They walked around the outside of the building in silence for some time.
What might have been
Remus?" Sirius asked suddenly. Remus stopped and faced him, for it was very rare that Sirius called Remus by his given name.
"Yes, Sirius?" He asked, ignoring the window behind Sirius, through which he could see Lily.
"What if you thought you still loved Lily? Only you guys had never gone out so you didn't know it wouldn't work, therefore meaning it had some chance of working? But she was completely obsessing about James, who was completely ignoring her cause they weren't getting married, he was getting married to Carmon Diaz, right?" Remus raised his eyebrows interestingly. "And say you really wanted to know if it would work out but you didn't know what to do…what would you do?"
"Hang on, let me think about this," Remus said seriously. He knew Sirius wasn't joking around and wanted to answer honestly.
"Tel'er, I guess," Remus finally answered. "Though it's getting hard for me to imagine I still like her…I think tonight was really helpful in making me realize it wouldn't work, ya know? Thanks for being here for me, Siri."
Sirius smiled and shifted closer. For some reason, he didn't mind it so much when Remus called him that.