Petra: This came to me from a variety of things.
Kati: We don't know exactly what we were thinking... but this quote (from Rose Argent's "Rain") popped into my head at some point: " . . . she laughed softly, inbetween moments of catching raindrops in her mouth, 'There's an old legend that says rain falls when the angels cry. Imagine that, each drop of rain an angel's tear, fallen to us from Heaven.' Her smile faded, and she whispered to the sky, 'What could make even the angels weep so, when they have seen millennia of pain and joy?' "
Petra: That led me to thinking about crying in the rain, 'cause no one knows that you're really crying, hell, you can even lie to yourself about it, if you really wanted to.
Kati: Which led us to think about think about this amazing fic by Niko, 'Regret', in which Heero cries in the rain.
Petra: However, it didn't seem to me like Heero would cry in the rain, it seemed to me that Duo would do so.
Kati: This gave us the beautiful image of Duo in the rain that is seen below.
Petra: The idea that Duo had never seen much water before and the intro shower scene I have to credit to Anria's "Such a Simple Thing."
Kati: No infringment was intended but, for the amount of fanfiction that we read, it's almost impossible for us to remember where we got every idea.
Petra: Though we do try.
DEDICATED: To the cleansing effect of water; so strong that it can sometimes wash away every defense.
WARNING: Shonen-ai. Messed with the timeline of the GW-verse.
DISCLAIMER: Duo's reaction to the shower is inspired by another fic and, sadly, neither of us own Gundam Wing.
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Kisses that Tasted of Rain
"He would always remember how on this day the rain had sounded like laughter and tasted of tears." -Niko; Regret (GW)
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I don't think I'll ever forget the first time Duo cried, at least, the first time in front of me. Whether or not he had cried before even Duo can't say. He says that he remembers meeting Solo and, when he'd been close to tears, being told that "boys don't cry"; a phrase that would stick with him and effect him his entire life. He doesn't remember anything before meeting Solo, just a feeling of warmth and the breezy memory of soft singing. I envy him even that, because I don't remember anything before the mercenary company.
It was the first day he'd ever been on earth at all and I distinctly remember a loud "bang!" coming from upstairs, the sound of the shower, and then a cry of horror. Before any of the rest of us could move to see what had happened, Duo was running downstairs, holding a sopping wet braid in his hands, one shoulder soaked, crying, "Guys! There's water coming out of this big faucet and I can't figure out how to turn it off!" We exchanged confused, slightly amused looks, as the pilot of Deathscythe promptly reached over and grabbed my arm, me being the closest, and pulled me upstairs. "We need to hurry! I don't want the water to run out."
I turned the shower off when we got to the bathroom and looked at Duo in confusion. "Run out?" Duo looked at me as if even I should see the obvious but, when I just continued to stare at him, he got slightly uncomfortable, looking at the floor, still holding that wet braid of his. "Duo," I said, and he looked up at me reluctantly. "It doesn't run out. It's connected to the main water supply. It's limitless." He stared at me uncomprehendingly.
"What?"
"It's not going to run out… hot water might," I corrected. "But that would only mean that all we'd have is cold water." It wasn't until I caught the awed look on his face that I remembered Heero telling me about how Duo was from L2. At that time, it was about the only thing, other than the fact that Duo had once been a street-rat, that I knew about the boy with the braid. I did remember, however, from a short stay there when my company had found a job, that L2 had little water, if any at all.
Water was a precious thing there, and only the rich could truly buy it. Since rain doesn't exist on the colonies, the only hope that poor people could have at getting water was to go to parks and put bowls around the lawns, in the hopes that they might get a little from the sprinkler system. Water was as good as gold, there, on a colony where the rich have golden sinks while the poor died of dehydration.
I would later learn that, even after hooking up with G and the Sweepers, Duo would live aboard ships almost entirely until Operation Meteor commenced. Onboard, there was only a limited amount of water, so Duo grew up thinking that water was always going to be limited. He later confessed to me that he had been scared shitless when he had seen the ocean spreading as far as the eye could see, as he fell through the atmosphere at the beginning of the war. He didn't know what it was; it never even occurred to him that it could be water. There was nothing in his short life to teach him that that much water had ever even existed. It was a sad thing to learn.
Knowing what I knew of him at the time, which was that he was from L2 and a street-rat, along with the extremely embarrassed look on his face made me decide what I would do. I leaned forward and managed to dredge up a small, barely there smile, as I whispered in a hush, conspiratorial voice, "Our little secret?"
He looked at me in relief and smiled, in an embarrassed, self-conscious way that, to this day, I have only seen two other times. "I'm sorry I was acting so stupid… it's just…" He turned to look in awe at the bathtub/shower again.
"I know," I replied and he looked at me in surprise. "I was on L2 once." I left it at that, knowing that he would realize what that meant. He gave me a sweetly bright smile and then we left. Later that day, Heero, Quatre, and Wufei were sent on a simple search-and-destroy mission and we were left behind; to this day, I thank a god I don't believe in, that I was also left behind.
It began to cloud over and I turned on the radio, listening to the forecast, which said it would rain this evening. I looked back up at the clouds and realized that it would be sooner than that, if the speed of the storm was any indication. I turned to the large glass doors that led to the backyard, where Duo was laying on his back, staring up at the sky. It was incredibly strange to see someone who was so enraptured by the sky. Every one of us, with the exception of Duo, had been to the Earth for jobs (Heero and I) or pleasure (Quatre and Wufei).
I walked over and opened the door, calling out, "Duo, inside."
Duo pouted at me, as he levered himself onto his elbows. "I'm fine! No one can see me!"
I nodded but continued, "It's going to rain." I shut the door behind me and went to finish cleaning the dishes. I didn't think about the fact that Duo wouldn't fully comprehend what rain was and thus he wouldn't think it wasn't important to come inside. After I got the dishes finished I picked up the book I had been reading and walked to sit down on the couch, never once looking up from my book. It wasn't until I heard the first patter of rain that I finally looked up, straight out those glass doors, just in time to see Duo sit up in surprised panic.
He put his hands out and watched dumbly as the water fell onto them, looking around him with confusion. He walked around the yard for a minute, later telling me that he was trying to figure out where it stopped. I watched as he murmured something to himself and managed to read the word "rain" from his lips. Then, slowly, a smile spread across his face, a smile that I would later associate with how he looked every time I told him I loved him. The door was open enough that I could hear wild laughter pour from his lips as he tilted his head back, opened his arms, and began to spin.
It would be the first time I thought a man looked beautiful, but just the beginning to thoughts that Duo looked beautiful.
I didn't want or love him then, no, not yet; it was more of an objective thought, like the way one would see a priceless painting and realize that it was rare and beautiful. I watched Duo and almost wished that I could paint, so that I could get that moment forever captured, so that even when the years took their toll on me, that perfect memory would remain as clear as it had appeared that day.
I sighed as I stood up. I needed to tell Duo to get out of the rain, because we couldn't afford for a fellow pilot to get sick, but I stopped, watching him spin. It seemed so wrong to stop that moment that, instead, I walked quickly my bedroom and grabbed a sweater out of my bag; it would be a little large on him, but that was all right. I got into the living room just as he suddenly stopped, confusion on his face, his hands reaching up to gently touch his cheeks. I kept my eyes on his confused face, even as I went outside and into the rain, holding the sweater.
"Duo," my voice made him jump and turn around quickly. "You'll get sick." I held the sweater out to him and he gave me a that nervous, self-conscious smile again, the second out of three times that I would see it, as he took it out of my hands. He shrugged it on and, as he stood there, sleeves dangling past his fingertips, the hem going to his thighs, braid wet and slightly messy, and bangs plastered to his forehead, I realized again that he was beautiful.
It was as I was staring at him that I realized two things with a start. One, his eyes weren't the dark blue that I had originally thought they were, instead, they were a violet color, a color that I had been told didn't exist in the human race. Two, he was crying. If I hadn't been looking at his eyes, I don't think I would have noticed, but as it was I noticed that a tear built up and then trailed down his cheek.
"Duo?" I asked, confused.
He wrapped arms around himself and suddenly started shivering, as though I had just condemned him. "I don't know what's wrong. I didn't even realize I was crying at first and, now, I can't make myself stop." There was nothing in his demeanor to tell me that he was crying, other than the silent tears. He didn't sob and he was still smiling nervously. His face looked exactly the same.
"First time you've seen rain." It was a statement, not a question, and he didn't bother to answer me. "I heard, once, that rain was really the tears of pained angels up in heaven." He looked up at me and the nervous smile was gone, only to be seen once more in the future. For some reason, that seemed to calm him, and he suddenly stepped forward and wrapped his arms around my lower torso, not quite my waist, before putting his head on my chest.
"Thanks," I heard him whisper, and I knew it was for more than just not judging him, but also for not making him feel stupid about things that he didn't know. For a long moment I stood there, unable to do anything, but then I, very gently, wrapped my own arms around his shoulders and, almost against my will, laid my cheek against the top of his head.
That was his outlet, then, to go in the rain and dance and spin and cry without anyone knowing it. I had my own little pleasure, because only I could see the astonishment and joy that appeared on his face, every time he turned on the faucet. None of the other pilots knew to what to look for, so they never saw it, but even five years later, he still gets that look on his face as he turns the water on.
Of course, we didn't know any of that then. We were just two strangers, bound together by a fate we didn't understand, hugging in the rain. I imagined, standing there in the rain, that this was the first time that I had ever been in the rain also, and it seemed a beautiful, wonderful thing. I think that was when I first began to fall in love with him, that day when I tried to pull him into the house as it started to lightning, only to stop as I saw the look of wonder on his face. We would stand outside of hours, watching the lightning, and even I, who had seen it before, would feel wonder.
For our second year anniversary of the wars being over, I would buy him a picture of lightning slicing through the air toward the ground in the mockery of a tree against a red sky, framed by black trees. He would smile that smile, for the third and last time, nervous and self-conscious, as he gave me his present, his golden cross, and told me that he loved me. It was raining that day, also, and I would always remember his breathless laughter as I pulled him toward me, kissing him, the kiss tasting of laughter, tears, and rain. I would later learn that all his kisses tasted like rain… but that is another story, for another day. Right now, it is raining and Duo is pulling at my arm, one of my too-large-for-his-slim-frame sweaters already on, as he stares out the large windows in silent wonder, a wonder that, even over the years, has never dampened.
I can't help thinking as I get up and allow him to pull me outside, that the person who said rain was really angels' tears of sorrow couldn't be more wrong. I know the truth now. The rain was, indeed, angels' tears, but they were tears that came as angels danced and spun, with arms and wings spread wide, laughing in joyful abandon, knowing that down on Earth, there was love, and kisses that tasted of rain.
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.
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Petra: So, what'd you think?
Kati: Cute, ne?
Petra: I don't know if I'll ever write some more in this universe but... shrug We'll see...
Kati: Anyways... don't forget to check out our new site!
Petra: Tell us what you think about it!
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."
-Rose Marie Ledam
Petra Megami Assari
The Gentle Tiger Goddess