Dear Brit,
I never even got to say goodbye. I never even had a chance to tell you how much I truly love you. They just took you away from me. It wasn't your time to go, I swear it wasn't. You were too young, you still had dreams. You died for that dream. I know you wont read this, but it's my only way of saying all the things that were left unsaid.
God, I never told you how much it hurt me every time you went up there to look for the dreamer. I died a million death when you went up and a million more until you came back. You promised to come back every time and you did. Except now, you left me now. Left me to cope with this. There were so many things left unsaid, and I want to say them now, shout them out. I want to scream, I want you to hear it wherever you are. I don't know if I believe in Heaven but there must be a better place.
Okay listen, do you actually realise how annoying it was you always giving into me? I wish we could have argued properly and then made up. I wish that we'd spend more time just us two, away from the others just being close. I never told you how much your smiles and carefree ways mend to me. Oh God, thank you for being there. I love you so much. I still do.
The thing that hurts most is knowing, no matter how much I cry, your never going to come back to me. I watch the others, how happy they are that we're all free now. It was your dream and you can't live it. I feel empty, now that you're not here to fill my days. I wanted to live that dream with you. I wanted a family, just like you, somewhere save and secure for them.
You said to me once, just at the beginning when you were still bitter, "The world is a cold, hateful place, it would be better to die then to live at all." I replied that you should be grateful for life and all that it gives you. You gave me a look then, I'll never forget it, so much pain and hurt in your expression, "I never asked to be born." You said, "So why should I be grateful." Suddenly I understood. I saw what was hurting you and I wanted to heal your wounds. But like someone once said, broken hearts may heal but the scars will stay. I saw your scars on your bad days, but you had few of those and you made sure, that you were on your own most of the times.
What I really want to do, is to be able to say goodbye to you properly. But to be honest you'll always be there and when I'm on my own. I sometimes imagine, yeah sometimes I'm sure that I can hear your voice whisper in my ear. And then I get up and dance and sing and I feel like your soul is dancing too.
So goodbye my beloved and hello again when we dance.
I love you
Oz
P.S. Don't scare the angels too much, I'm sure you must be a rowdy flyer.