Warning – Swearing from an annoyed Teenager. Sorry, but it had to go in there for it to be realistic. The characters made me!
Chapter 5 – Seamus
When he got to the Self-Defense classroom, he saw that everyone else was lining up outside the door – it must be locked. Griffindor shared this class with Ravenclaw, which probably would be too bad – better than Slytherin which would have Malfoy or Hufflepuff which would just be Hufflepuff!
Harry tried to keep his mind off of things by thinking of who would be in this class. There would obviously be himself, Weasley, Finnagin and Longbottom. Then there would be Hermione, Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil for the Girls of Griffindor. What about Ravenclaw? Obviously, Terry Boot and Padma Patil... oh yes! Mandy Brocklehurst, Sarah Moon, Amanda Grey, John Thames and Steve Samuels. The trouble was, Harry didn't know who was teaching this class. It didn't say on the timetables but Harry knew who was teaching the other subjects... unless it was... oh no!
Just then, Professor Albus Dumbledore reached the classroom, unlocked the door and told everyone to go in. Harry tried not to let Dumbledore notice him, but he knew that his effort was futile. As he was about to walk through the door, Dumbledore stopped him and asked to have a word. Harry simply looked at him and shrugged, but stayed outside all the same. Dumbledore told everyone else to find a seat before looking at Harry over his half-moon glasses, his eyes twinkling in his annoying fashion.
"I hope that your rooms are comfortable enough? I trust that you found the note I asked a house-elf to leave you. I am sure that there is a perfectly good reason why you did not meet with me yesterday, but that is not why I wish to talk to you now. I just want to say thank you. Thank you for finally choosing the right side. I have decided that I will allow you to apol..."
Harry had just about had enough now. Here was the man who had done everything imaginable to make his life a misery and he was asking Harry to apologise to him? That was it. He punched the older man squarely on the nose. "Apologise? You want me to apologise to you? That's funny. And also 'choosing the right side'? What the hell is all that crap about? And yes I will say the word 'crap' right here and right now. There is a load of other words that I could also say about this. How dare you? Do you have any idea what my life has been like? I've never known who I was or what I was and that is all because of you. Do you want to know the real reason why I killed him? I doubt it. All you care about is the fact that I did kill him. You don't give a shit about anything or anyone but yourself. I'm not gonna let you push me around like you did before."
By this time, Harry was close to tears, although he wouldn't let Dumbledore know that. He walked off down the corridor muttering about 'fucking bastard wankers' and the such like.
Harry knew that he would probably have to go back to the lesson. He refused to let that old coot bring his schoolwork down. He couldn't get a black mark on his record. He didn't know what he wanted to be any more but he knew that Universities didn't like to see students skiving from lessons. Half an hour had passed since the start of the lesson and there was still 50 minutes left. Harry tidied himself up, put the mask back onto his face and made his way to the self-defence classroom for the second time that day. Luckily, he didn't bump into any teachers, he supposed they were all teaching.
When he reached the door, he knocked and opened it but was very surprised at what he saw. Dumbledore wasn't there, and Draco Malfoy was at the front of the class, teaching. Everyone looked at him as he entered, so he smirked at them all before turning his attention to Malfoy.
"Detention, Potter – for being late. Please find a seat quickly so that we can carry on with the lesson. Perhaps you can copy Miss Granger's notes for the lesson so far." It was strange, Harry could see that Malfoy didn't want to be mean to him, but at the same time felt that he had to. He looked around the room and took the seat next to Hermione and behind Finnagin. Maybe this lesson would be fun after all.
Soon, class ended and everyone packed up their books and made their way out of the room and to 'Cub 2' whatever that may be. For Harry, that was duelling with Morana. He stopped in front of Malfoy and said "So, Professor. Who's my detention with?"
"Me." Malfoy refused to look at the boy who he knew would determine his future. "After dinner, it's in here." He was about to leave the room when Harry spoke up.
"Wait..." Malfoy turned around and looked like he was about to speak. "Don't. Look, I know you're upset at the moment. It's probably my fault..." He broke off. "It always is," he murmured. "You shouldn't feel guilty. I don't know why I'm saying this right now but..." He didn't know what to say. After talking with Hermione, he seemed to have lost control of his emotions. He didn't know what else to do, so he leaned in and kissed Malfoy harshly on the lips before pulling away quickly. "I..."
Malfoy seemed temporarily stunned but quickly regained himself. "Shhhhh. It's okay. I love you. I understand. I'm here. I..."
But Harry didn't want that. He needed that, yes, but he couldn't handle having someone love him. He just wanted someone he could use. Someone he could twist and dement, damage. He wanted someone who had no thoughts, no feelings, simply a doll... a lifeless doll. He backed the older boy up against the wall and pushed against him, grinding their bodies together. Malfoy had his eyes almost closed and was breathing very heavily and suddenly leaned forwards to brush his lips against Harry's. Harry leant back. "You know, you really need to keep your 'reactions' under control Malfoy. Even if you have your robes done up, people will still probably see that tent poking through your dragon hide trousers. Why did you wear them anyway?"
Malfoy simply gaped before looking down and then looking at Harry, scared. "Wh... what should I do?" he managed to croak.
"Oh, I don't know..." Harry smirked. "Oh yes I do. Do you want me to help?" Malfoy nodded frantically, not trusting himself to speak. "Ok... done," he brushed his hair back. "That's better."
"What did you do? You didn't say anything..." Malfoy looked down. It seemed to have worked, whatever it was that Harry had done... but nothing had been said! He knew that he was still turned on. Maybe it was some kind of glamour charm. He looked helplessly at Harry, who simply winked before walking away. Draco waited to catch his breath before hurrying in the same direction.
Morana walked into the room smiling.
"Good afternoon everybody! Most of you will know that my name is Morana Tace, all of you can call my Morana. I am aware that there was a short Duelling club 5 years ago and that some of you may have also gone to something called the 'DA' 2 years ago. Yes, I do know all about that. The first of these was, pretty much, a complete, embarrassing failure although the second worked well until it had to be... discontinued.
Draco zoned her out as he looked around the room. Weasley didn't seem too please with Gr... Hermione's partner – Harry, even though he was with Finnagin! Draco himself was with Blaise Zabini – his friend for the last year and a bit. Duelling club was actually quite fun, although Draco was glad when it was over. Only dinner to go and then he would get to have an entire hour alone with Harry. That reminded him – he needed to find out what it was that Harry had done. He went into the toilets and tried to take off whatever spell it was with 'Finite Incantatum' but it wouldn't work. Instead, he decided to actually take a look... although wished he hadn't as soon as he saw. The scream could be heard in the astronomy tower, where Professor Sinistra was marking some work!
Meanwhile, Harry had pulled Seamus aside. "A word, Finnagin."
"Fuck off, you little traitorous murderer. How dare you speak to me after what you did?" Seamus hissed.
"Now, now Seamus! You need to keep that temper of yours under control. As for your question, what did I do?" Harry spoke softly, not wanting to provoke the other boy. This was a very delicate plan and everything needed to go perfect for it to work.
"You know very well what you did Potter," Seamus spat. "If Ron hears about this..."
"But Weasley won't hear about this, will he?" He took a step forwards. "This will just be between you and me. No one else." Harry purred the last sentence and inwardly smirked at Seamus' reaction.
"You're sick! That's what you are! First you... you kill Dean, and then you try to make a move on..."
"Me? Kill your precious boyfriend? Now why would I want to a nasty thing like that? Besides, I always thought you liked me anyway. What was it you said in the bathroom that one time? Oh yes... 'Oh! Harry! I love you so much! If only I could tell you the way my heart fe...'"
"Shut up! That was fifth year! How did you find out anyway? I bet you used your dark magic on me didn't you? Don't lie. I know you killed him. Who else would? It's entirely your fault that he's dead now. All your fault that he's not here right now."
"It's ok, you need to get that out of your system. Now we need to talk. I didn't kill him... but I know who did. Oh, and I don't need to use 'dark magic' as you call it, to find out your perverted fantasies about me. I already knew all about them. You really needed to use a silencing charm when you went toilet. That besides the point. Do you really really want to find out who killed your boyfriend? Are you going to hate that person forever?" To each of these, Seamus glared at Harry, before nodding. "Ok, well he killed himself."
"You're lying!" Seamus screamed, tears running down his face. "He would never! Why? How? No! He didn't! He didn't! He wouldn't! He couldn't! He'd want to come back to me! He said! He said he wanted to be with me forever!" Seamus was starting to get hysterical, so Harry cut him off.
"It's true. I should have known that you wouldn't be able to take the truth. I just wanted you to know. He asked me to tell you. He even wrote a letter. Wanted me to give you it. Maybe you can't handle it yet..."
"No! Tell me! Please? Just give me the note! I need to know! I have a right to know. What happened? What happened to him? Why? Why did he do it? You have to tell me!" Seamus cut off. His throat was dry and sore but he had to know.
Harry conjured up a glass of water before handing it to the boy in front of him. "It's not poison. It's just water. Anyway, the note was in the stuff that you and Weasley burned, so I don't have it anymore. I know what it said though. First things first, what do you want to eat?" Seamus simply stared at him, disbelievingly. "Well, it's a long story. I thought maybe you'd want to eat something."
"Fine," Seamus grumbled. "Bread."
Harry turned a nearby sheet of paper into a breadbasket with bread rolls in and put it out in front of him. "You'll probably want to sit down as well," he stated, as he sat down himself. "Listen Seamus! I'm not going to kill you! I didn't kill that Thomas guy either and I hardly think it's my fault if some bloody man decided to cut his own throat!" Seamus looked wide-eyed at Harry and gulped. "Erm... whoops. Wasn't meant to come out like that but that's what he did. There was a shiny silver dagger lying on the floor near where he was – someone must have dropped it there – he must have decided that enough was enough and slit his throat."
Seamus couldn't believe it. Was that really what had happened? Why was the dagger there? Where was the dagger now? Whose was the dagger? Was it really just dropped there by accident? All this was starting to give him a headache. Why was enough enough? What had happened down there? What about the letter? He decided to voice this last question. "But... you said that he gave you a letter. How would he have done that if it had just been spur of the moment? How come you read the letter?"
Potter sighed which made Seamus furious. How dare he just act so blasé when they were talking about Dean? He had to keep his cool however, so that he could find out everything... besides, Potter was actually looking quite... NO! How could he think about Potter in that way?
"Ok, I gave him the chance to write a letter whilst he was in there – no one else knew about it. I decided that it couldn't hurt. He wasn't getting out of there so it was a kind of last wish you might say. I had to read through it, to make sure that he didn't give away any crucial information that couldn't get out – where he was, for instance. I actually memorised it. It went like this.
Dear Seamus,
I think that this is the last time that I will ever be able to communicate in any way. Despite everything that I know is being said at Hogwarts, Harry's actually not that bad. I really need to make a confession to you though. I don't know how to say this, but I've been kind of two-timing you with Terry Boot. Harry smirked at the horrified look on Seamus' face. I didn't mean to. I swear I didn't. I just kind of... happened I guess. It was nothing serious. Just a couple of kisses. It meant nothing. It couldn't have meant anything. I love you Seam; I love you more than anything in the world and just want you to be happy.
Please, I don't want you to mope about any more. I want you to find another boyfriend. I want you to find someone better than me, someone who won't cheat on you. That's what you deserve. You're too good for me Seamus. There's also something else you need to know – I'm not a virgin. It was before we were going out. I kind of had a thing with Harry Potter. I don't know why I'm telling you all this. Maybe I want to make it easier for you to give me up. You have to move on. I'm begging you to move on. I'll be watching you when I'm dead. Wherever I am, I'll be watching you and I'll be proud of you. Please tell my mum and dad and brother that I miss them. Let them know that I'm thinking about them always. I'm sorry, I've told them so much. I've told them things that I didn't think I knew. I told them all about us and how much I love you. I'm sorry.
All my love, forever, Dean.
P.S. You are always in my heart
"So as I say, it's heart-warming, really."
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