Chapter 2: Love Hurts!
The sun is setting over South Town 2, and we find ourselves in the La Illusion. Terry, Rock and Maxima sits at the bar drinking a beer. In the corner booth sits General Heidern, sipping a German Weiss beer while reading "Two hundred ways to skin a cat with marshmallows!" In his usual booth sits The Guy, accompanied by a fiery red headed girl.
King is bustling up and down the bar, cleaning wine glasses until you could see the reflection of you in your eye in them. Vash is polishing the bar itself, making sure it looks spiffy.
"So King, what's with the fancy suit?" Terry asked.
Rock looked appreciatively at the blue and white blazer, with matching pants and shoes, "Wow! Sequence! Now if I could afford sequence, I would be the best looking fighter ever!"
Maxima chuckled, "Dream on kiddo, that title is reserved for me and my sweet sideburns."
"Yeah right. Now what is the occasion King?" Terry asked with a smile.
King kept on cleaning glasses, her eyes downcast, "Nothing much really. Just, wanted to look nice and all."
Rock raised an eyebrow, "Hmmm? So, you're not dressing to impress a certain guy?"
"Who said anything about a guy!?"
Terry leaned closer, "This has just gotten juicy. C'mon King, tell us. Who is it?"
Everybody leaned closer as King's cheeks started to turn a rosy pink. Suddenly Jean, King's younger brother, appeared next to King. There is a twinkle in his eye and a sly grin on his face as he said "You-know-who is coming over later to try his luck with King."
"Ryo is only coming over to look at the new place Jean!" Shouted the now wrathful King. King suddenly realized her mistake, and slowly turned her head to look upon the faces of three hungry wolves.
"Ooooh! So Ryo is coming over, huh?" Rock jeered.
Terry followed up on Rock, "Just wanted to look nice and all, huh? Now who said that earlier?"
Maxima then followed up on Terry, "So defensive toward Ryo, and you knew exactly who Jean was talking about, you sly woman you."
King could only surrender to the laughter of the four men around the bar, when a thought struck her. She looked up with an evil gleam in her eyes, "It's not like any of you have girlfriends."
The laughter stopped immediately, mouths wide open, beers stuck halfway through midair. Silence as thick as lard filled the small space around the bar. Finally Maxima snapped out of the moment, "Low blow, low blow."
"Ouch Sis! That really hurt!"
"I thought you were seeing Hotaru Jean?" King remarked.
"I was, but she only goes on about how great her brother is. It's Gato this and Gato that, I just couldn't take it anymore! Even when we made out she would remark on how could a kisser Gato is."
Terry, Rock, Maxima and King simultaneously screamed, "WHAT!?"
"Yeah! It's true! And she then she would go into what pos..." and Jean was abruptly cut off by King.
"You. Made out. With Hotaru?"
"Well, yeah, lots of times. But that's beside the point! She..."
Terry, Rock and Maxima are huddled in a small group, silently discussing what Jean was about to say.
"What was he about to say? He was cut off so fast." Whispered Maxima.
Rock looked quickly to see if King and Jean are still fighting, "I could've sworn he was about to say what postage he likes, but what the hell has postage got to do with making out?"
"Kid, you really need to watch more porn. He was going to say position! What positions Gato likes!" whispered Terry, blood dripping from his nose.
"You mean that Gato and Hotaru are. You know." whispered an embarrassed Maximum, his nose just starting to bleed.
"N- No way! That is just, you know, wrong." Rock's nose is just oozing blood.
Terry looked at the dying battle between King and Jean. "Yes! They are having sex! Now, we are not to tell anybody about this, do you two understand? This is our ammo when we fight Gato. And here, have some tissues to clean up the blood."
"Understood."
"Will keep my lips sealed."
The three of them turned back to King and Jean.
"Not another word Jean! Boys of your age shouldn't even be thinking of those kinds of things yet!"
Terry interrupted the fight, "Ahem. King. Remember a little thing called puberty? You are almost half man, how could you have forgotten?"
"Well, I don't care about that! Jean, go up to your room and stay there."
"But..."
"Now!"
A sulking Jean went to his room. King turned to Rock, "And I heard rumors of you and Jennet, is there anything going on?"
Rock leaned back on his stool and took a big sip of his beer, "Well, we decided that it wasn't going to work out between us, so we decided to stay friends."
Terry took a sip of his beer and calmly said, "She kicked you square in the balls when you asked her out."
Rock sprayed beer all over the bar as Terry said this. King is not impressed. Her once beautifully polished bar is now sprayed with beer, "AAH! You hooligan! Look what you did! Vash! Clean this up immediately!"
"Ma'am!"
Rock had that look of a deer staring at the headlights of an eighteen-wheeler on his face, "No she didn't! She said we could start out as friends. Where did you hear that?"
Terry smiled and held up a picture, "I have taken a picture of it happening!"
Maxima gave a side-glance at Terry as he finished his beer, "Are you following Rock around with a camera when he goes to pick up women?"
"Well, I have to look out for the little tyke, otherwise he would end up with the wrong girl."
Rock is totally shocked, "You... You took a picture! You actually took a picture of Jenet kicking me in the soft niffdleys!"
Terry's smile broadened as he produced a photo album, "Not just a picture of you and Jenet, but every other girl you tried to pick up as well!" and Terry slammed the album open revealing picture upon picture of Rock getting kicked or punched in the balls by various girls. King and Maxima looks at the photo album, mocking Rock all the way.
"Aaw, did poor Rocky not get the girl he wanted?"
"Ouch! That one had a spike tipped boot on!"
King looked at the broken Rock, "You poor baby, your mighty ego must be crushed because no girl wants to go out with you."
"I... I can get any girl I want!" he shouted, his voice filled with tears, "Show me any girl, and just watch me work my magic!" Rock wipes away a tear, straightening his jacket.
Maxima quickly scanned the bar, "What about the vixen sitting with The Guy? If you can pick her up, then you would have my respect."
Rock looked over at the booth where the girl sat, "Just watch me. She'll be mine in ten minutes." And he walked smoothly over to her.
Vash, who was cleaning the bar up until now, had gotten hold of a bookies cap, a piece of paper and a pencil. He looked up with a great big smile on his face, "Right! Place your bets now lady and gentlemen! There is a one to one chance that Rock will get his balls broken, and a twenty to one chance that he will get the girl. Place your bets now!"
King looked questioningly at Vash, "Vash, are you going to bet that the boy will win? You still have to pay off your tab, remember. If you loose, than you owe me even more money. And at your daily income of $64, of which $62 is subtracted to pay for the rent of your room and for food, you are going to be here for a long time."
"Well boss, I'm gonna bet $50. I have..." Vash counts the couple of notes and coins in Bennimaru's wallet, "... a total of $27. Could you lend me $23? If I loose, than you can add the $50 that I bet to my tab."
"How did you get $27 from just working two days?" King asked.
"Tips."
King seemed to think for a moment, making mental calculations, "Okay then. I'll lend you the money."
With that, everybody but Vash betted that Rock was gonna get hit in the balls
"All set? Okay, looks like Rock has already started making his move." Terry said.
"Hmmm, can't really see the girl's face, Rock's standing in the way." Maxima grumbled.
Terry looked up at the ceiling, searching for something, "King, you wouldn't perhaps have a high-tech surveillance system installed into the bar, would you?"
King reached behind the bar and took out a remote control, "Well, now that you mention it, I have." With a push of a button, a seventy-inch flat screen monitor dropped from the ceiling, and on display was The Guy's booth.
Terry was shocked, "And where did you get the money for this thing?"
"Oh, I know a few people in certain high ranking posts." King gave a wink in Heidern's direction. Heidern tipped his beret, and motioned for another beer. "Vash, the good General requires a refreshement."
"Ma'am."
They watched the monitor for a minute or two, when Maxima spoke up, "He practice poses, doesn't he?"
Terry, looking a bit embarrassed, replied, "One hour before breakfast, and one hour before going to bed."
"Well, he has good form, and it looks like he is winning her over. Is The Guy just going to sit there and watch as the girl is being hit on?" King asked.
The Guy produced two dice out of his sleeve, and rolled them on the table. Two ones. He seems pleased with the outcome, and quickly pockets them.
Maxima were the only one who picked it up, "Wonder what that was for."
King and Terry looked a bit puzzled at the remark, but continued to watch the monitor. Rock started laughing, but the girl didn't find it funny at all. She rammed her elbow into his balls. Rock stood stock still for a second, and then keeled over. Vash, seeing this, almost broke down into tears.
"Sorry Vash, looks like you are going to work here for much longer." King said.
A sulking Vash heads off to the backroom, "Why? I was sure he was going to win..."
Terry went and apologized to the girl and The Guy, then dragged Rock after him to the bar, "King, we need some ice and smelling salts. He is out cold."
King silently handed Terry smelling salts and an ice pack. When Rock came around, he was completely disconfuckulated, "Mama, the pain. It won't go away. Why does it hurt Mama?"
Terry slapped Rock twice through the face, "I may have long hair, but I ain't no woman."
Rock's eyes started to focus, "Woah! Sorry Terry. Did I get her? I remember things were going so well." Then it hit Rock, "FUCK! MY BALLS! FUCK! It hurts! The pain is unbearable! What the? There are three balls? Oh Hell it hurts!" Maxima and King laughed at Rock.
Terry than said to Maxima, "I know you don't have a girlfriend, Maxima. I don't want to be rude but you are more toaster than human."
Maxima just shrugged his big shoulders, "True. I will know no love as long as I live. That is my fate. At least you have Mary."
"That is an incorrect statement Maxima. Terrance never had Mary." Heidern said, now sitting next to Maxima. Every time he speaks, the sound of a rattlesnake's tale fills the air, "This is based on the fact that every true girlfriend of Terry's had died unexpectedly with him watching."
"Tha- that's not true! Me and Mary have been seeing each over for eight years now." Countered Terry, "How do you know she is not my girlfriend?"
Heidern fixed his only good eye on Terry, "To defeat the enemy, you must know the enemy better than he knows himself. King, play this disk for us." He handed King a small diskette. King took it and put it into the monitor's inbuilt DVD-player.
Maxima turned to Heidern, squaring his huge shoulders, "Then that means you know more about me than I know about myself."
"Yes Maxima, I do. Or should I say, Captain Harry Ness?"
Maxima gave Heidern an unflinching stare before turning back to the monitor. The diskette showed how Mary and Guile was having fun in Monte Carlo. Than it went on to show various other scenes of Mary and Guile doing things together at various times and places around the world. Terry was absolutely dumbstruck, "H- how? Who? When? But, she and me, we have been... We have a history together!"
"Sorry Terrance, but this is the truth. She only used you as a fallback guy when things heated up between her and Guile."
Terry suddenly stood up, and put a $10 note down on the bar, "Rock, we're leaving." The thunder that raged in Terry's eyes told Rock not to argue with him.
King cashed the money, "Where are you going Terry?"
"I am going to talk to a man about a whore."
"Take care and come again."
Terry nodded to everybody, than stomped off with a thundercloud hovering above him. Rock followed suit clutching the ice pack to his balls.
As Terry left, Ryo came in. Ryo gave Terry one look, and decided that today was not a good day to pick a fight with him.
"Ryo! I am so glad you could make it! Wow! You look splendid! Grab a stool!" King was ecstatic to see Ryo.
"Thank you King. Fancy place you got here. Looks much better than the previous one. What a great looking outfit you are wearing." Said Ryo. King blushed up to her ears.
Suddenly the lights dimmed, followed by the scream of desperate man being electrocuted. This lasted for about ten seconds.
Ryo looked at the dimming lights, and gave a small jump as he heard the scream, "What the hell was that!?"
"Good to see the A.E.E.S. is working." said King as she handed Heidern another beer.
Maxima looked puzzled, "A.E.E.S.?"
"Anti Employee Escaping System, came with the surveillance." Replied King.
"Um, doesn't that make Vash a prisoner?"
"He signed the contract legally forcing him to work at the La Illusion until his debt is paid off. And he gave a blood sample."
The door opened, and Ash trotted in, "Has aneebodee gere seen Beni-kun?" he still tried to sound like a Frenchman.
King pointed to where Benimaru was last seated, "He was here two days ago. He sat there drinking himself into a stupor, and crying about you. After that some men came in and took him away to Jupiter City."
"Aaaw! Zee poor dear! Cryeeng abuut me! But why was he takin awayee by big burlee men?" Ash asked.
"Don't know, they were going on about money. Jupiter City is about one thousand five hundred miles Northwest of here." King said.
"You meen in zee post apocaleeptic deesert? Zat is not good! All zat sand will go eento unwanted places..." Ash gets a pained look upon his face, "Oooh! Zat ees going to chafe my weelly! Zou not worree Beni-kun! I will come to save zou!" and with that he trotted very gay like out of the bar.
"Why did you protect Vash?" Maxima asked.
"Because of his good looks, he attracts customers. And I don't want anything to happen to my money magnet!" King said greedily, "But I wonder what happened to Beni?"
Two hundred miles northwest of South Town, there are six thomasses running in a group.
The more intelligent looking of the group pulled up alongside Big Willy, "Sir, are you sure this is the right guy? I mean, we found him dead drunk in a bar, and we were almost right on his tail when he entered the bar! What kind of man gets smashed in five minutes on Appletini's?"
"Froggo does." Big Willy squeeked.
"I forgot about froggo, but in any case. This "Vash" just keeps on moaning about an "Ash". The rumors never said anything about that! And then there is the whole lightning sparking from his body thing!"
"Rumors are meant to be rumors, and the lightning is just his awesome destructive powers!" Big Willy gave the guy a questioningly look and asked in his squeaky voice, "Are you questioning my authority to decide who Vash is?"
"N- No sir!"
Benimaru gave a stir on his Thomas, "Ooooh, my head. Where am I? Ash? Is that you Ash? Wh- who are you guys?"
"Knock him out before he uses his powers on us! A sleeping Vash is one that won't kill us."
"Boss!"
Benimaru looked up at the rider holding the cudgel, "Who are you? Where is Ash? Why is there sand in my mouth? Wait a second. Why am I hogtied?" And with that, he was knocked uncontious.
Author's Note:
I don't know how old Jean really is, but for story purposes he is 15.
As far as I could dig up, Maxima's real name and rank is Captain Harry Ness, if anybody could correct me, please do so.