Disclaimer: Warner Brothers own all of their characters and everything that goes with them.
Chapter 3: The Brain behind N.E.S.T.S.
It was late evening, and the La Illusion was packed with people. King had to hire two extra waitresses, Li Xiangfei and May Lee, to help out with the work, because Vash just couldn't do it all by himself. Vash, on the other hand, got promoted to bartender. This in turn has led to an increase of young female clients who wanted to see "the new cute guy at King's".
At the bar stood Vash, now dressed to kill and making cocktails for very cute girls who were laughing and giggling as he showed off his cocktail making skills. Further down the bar stood King, talking to various upper class characters and drinking wine. The Guy was sitting at his usual booth, drinking his usual drink. He was talking with a group of people dressed in sleek, black corporate suits. Kyo sat at the bar, checking out the place.
"Yes, this a very full-bodied wine, the wood ageing really adding to the texture. Now, if you would excuse me, I have other customers to serve, please enjoy the rest of your evening" King said to the distinguished gentlemen, then walked over to where Kyo was sitting.
"Hi Kyo, long time no see. What brings you to my bar?" King asked.
"Hi King. I heard you opened a new bar, and that it was doing great. So I came down to see what all the fuss was about" Kyo said.
"What do you think about the place? Can I get you something to drink?" King asked.
"Most impressive, I must say. Shot chilli vodka please. Freeman also opened a club recently. It's called Slasher 6. It has six dance floors and eight themed bars. Very popular with the darker crowd" Kyo said.
"You mean that that serial killer opened a night club?" King asked, handing Kyo his vodka.
"Yep. Wonder what Kim will do when he finds out" Kyo said as he took a sip of his vodka, "Ooh yeah! That's the pepper!"
"So are you training for the next King of Fighters tournament? Or are you and your girlfriend going on a tour again?" King asked.
"Me? Train? You're kidding, right? The King of Fighters has to train? Hahahaha!" laughed Kyo, "How many times have I saved the world now? Who sealed the Orochi? I am the best, and will be the best until my son surpasses me!" Kyo said.
"What about Iori?" King asked, looking rather worried.
"What about him? That redhead is all bark and no bite. All he does is boast on how he is going to defeat me and take revenge. He really is just full of hot air, and the hottest thing around is me! Kyo Kusanagi! Ooh yeah!" Kyo said as he finished his vodka.
Iori was dancing on the EBM floor of Slasher 6 when he was suddenly overcome by a sneezing fit. The people around him moved quickly away. Iori composed himself and took a look around the floor, "What the fuck?"
King's face turned a pale blue as she remembered how Iori almost turned her into crispy King, "Should you really underestimate him? He did nearly beat you one year"
"How can I underestimate something that is redundant? And that one year I merely slipped. Give me another shot King" Kyo said.
"Well, it was a close match. Here you go. Enjoy the evening, I have some employees that needs to be reminded that they must work, and not play" King said, and she hurried off to where Vash was seducing the cute girls.
"Well, if you girls want to party at my flat afterwards, you're more than welcome. There you go my cuties, this one is on the house", Vash said, handing out very expensive tequila to the giddy girls.
King suddenly appeared behind Vash, her arms crossed, "That is another thirty dollars to your tab Vash. Now serve the other customers as well!" King commanded.
"Eeep! Sheesh. You always spoil my fun. Later ladies" Vash said, and then he moved on to waiting customers.
King shook her head, "That man, I now wonder if it was a good idea to hire him", and then she saw Li chowing down on the caviar and salt biscuits, "Li! Those are meant for the customers! That is coming right out of your paycheck! Stop eating you fat pig!" King exclaimed, and then stomped over to where Li was.
Kyo chuckled and took a sip of his vodka, "Good to see King back to her old self" Kyo thought, then he noticed Vash, "Hmmm, he looks like Benimaru. Wonder where Benimaru is these days" Kyo thought. As he turned his head back from Vash, he caught something in the corner of his eye. He quickly look to where he saw it, but there was nothing, "Must be my imagination" Kyo thought. As he brought the vodka to his lips, he a saw a reflection of something white in the vodka. Once more he looked in the direction of where he saw the image the first time. Floating in mid-air was a half-eaten salty biscuit. This biscuit was slowly making its way down the bar towards Kyo. Kyo closed his eyes and thought to himself, "Damn! This is good vodka". Then he heard a voice. This voice did not fit into the whole scene.
"Brain, why don't these people see us?"
Kyo snapped open his eyes and looked at where the voice was coming from. On the bar were two white mice having a conversation, walking in his direction.
The one mouse had a large cranium, and had the air of a mad genius about him, "Pinky, do talking, walking, white mice walk on bar counters?"
The other mouse was tall and lanky, obviously not the brains of two. He was eating the half-eaten salty biscuit, "Gee Brain, I don't know. Do they?"
"No Pinky, they don't" Brain said as he stepped around a cocktail glass.
"But Brain! We are talking, walking, white mice walking on a bar counter!" Pinky exclaimed.
"That is correct Pinky" Brain said in a monotonous tone.
"But, why don't the humans see us Brain?" Pinky asked, spraying crumbs as he walks.
"Because, Pinky, the human mind filters that out which it believes cannot be true. They can see us if they were actively looking for us, otherwise we don't exist to them. Watch it you barbarian!" Brain said as he almost got knocked over by a beer bottle.
"Cor Brain, so that means these people can't see us? So, I can stick breadsticks up their noses without them even knowing it was me? Hahahaha! Zort! That is going to be fun!" Pinky laughed.
"No Pinky! Leave that for another day. We have work to do tonight. We must fortify our secret base in this bar. Here no one will think of finding us" Brain said.
"Aaaw! But I wanted to put breadsticks up people's noses!" Pinky said, making a sad face. A confused look crossed Pinky's face, "Why is this our base Brain? I know people won't look here, but why?"
"Because, Pinky, this establishment has a military grade surveillance system, and a defence system that makes Fort Knox look like a child's play house" Brain said.
"Cor! I didn't know that Brain. Narf! If this becomes our base, can I swim in the champagne?" Pinky asked.
"Yes Pinky, you can swim in the champagne" Brain said, dropping his head in resignation, as he knew that Pinky was not going to stop complaining until he had said yes to at least one demand.
"Now Pinky, follow me to the..." Brain said.
"Yay! Champagne swimming pool! Zort! Hahahahaha!" laughed Pinky, and then he saw Brain, "Brain? What is wrong Brain? Brain? Hello! Earth to Brain!"
Brain slowly turned his head, and looked into the eyes of Kyo. He stood there staring at Kyo for a full minute, his face becoming darker and darker.
"You" Brain growled.
Kyo looked frantically around, hoping to see that someone else also noticed the two mice. He was the only one who saw them, "M- m- me?" Kyo asked, pointing at himself.
Brain's eyes were filled with the flames of rage, "YOU!"
Pinky stood stock still, and then looked at Kyo, "Brain. He can see us", and then Pinky took a closer look at Kyo, "Hey... Aren't you the guy that..."
"Yes Pinky. He is the man who prevented me from conquering the world!" Brain shouted, "If it wasn't for you, I would have been Emperor!"
Kyo looked like a cornered rabbit, "Me? Talking mice? I don't ever remember meeting you. Is this some kind of prank?" and Kyo looked around the bar area for someone holding a camera.
Brain continued on fuming, "Of course you don't remember me! But it was you who destroyed my plans for world domination! Let me jog your memory for you. N.E.S.T.S."
Hearing the name, Kyo became serious and knew that this wasn't a prank, "N.E.S.T.S. was an organization ran by a man named Igniz, who aspired to become a god"
"Igniz. Igniz! Igniz was but a poor, idiotic polish farm boy with super natural powers. He was a reject! The people of his village deemed that the devil has given him ungodly powers, and that God will never look upon such a monster! He was nothing before I found him! I moulded him into that which he was!" Brain shouted, murder dropping off every word.
"So you were using Igniz to take over the world? What would you have done if he had succeeded? Did you really think that he was going to hand over the world to you just like that?" Kyo asked.
"Every word, every movement, every breath. I commanded them! He had the mentality of a retarded four-year old! He would jump off a cliff had I told him to do so" Brain said.
"Brain, you're scaring me! Igniz is gone now. You said that the only thing to do is start again from scratch, narf!" Pinky said, tears forming in his eyes.
"This isn't about starting again Pinky! I was too close in achieving my goal. Then this you! You and your friends had to destroy my plans! I will destroy you Kusanagi. You and your friends!" cried Brain. He reared his head to the sky, flung his arms open and roared, "Why can't I rule the world!"
When he flung out his arms, he knocked over Kyo's vodka glass, spilling vodka all over the bar.
King saw the glass tip over, and out of nowhere, two white mice appeared. The customers sitting and standing around Kyo saw this as well.
Brain immediately realized his mistake, "Mark my words Kusanagi, I will return! Come Pinky! We have to prepare for tomorrow night!" and Brain ran off to the far wall.
Pinky wiped the tears from his eyes, and then saw Brain running. Pinky was not the sharpest marble in the bag, but he knew when to run, "Why Brain? What are we doing tomorrow night?"
"The same thing we do every night Pinky. Try to take over the world!"
King's fear of talking white mice kicked in at that moment, "Vash! Eliminate those rodents!"
"Ma'am!" Vash said as he drew his revolver. He was not sure what King was talking about, but when he searched for "those rodents", he saw them. He fired two shots in quick succession. Pinky would have been a fine red mist if someone hadn't put down a caviar bowl directly in the path of the bullet. Brain would have been decapitated if The Guy hadn't put down his empty glass in the bullet's path, deflecting the bullet to hit Li in the ass. The caviar bowl evaporated into dust, and caviar rained down around the bar area. The glass shattered into every direction. Dead silence filled the bar. Even the music stopped playing. Someone shouted "Gun!" and all chaos broke loose.
When everything settled down, only Kyo, Vash, King and Li were still in the bar. King looked at her trashed bar. Then she saw the bullet hole in the bar counter. The bar counter was hand crafted from a two hundred year old stinkwood tree. She broke out in tears. The colour from Vash's face had completely drained away. He knew that the damage to the bar was going to keep him at the La Illusion for another four months.
Two hundred and fifty miles northwest of South Town 2, there was a single figure walking through the dessert. Upon closer inspection, the figure turned out to be Ash. He was wearing a very tight, brand name safari outfit, complete with ridiculous looking safari hat. He did not look happy at all.
"How the hell am I supposed to walk in these silly boots? And this desert sand is really chafing me! Beni-kun better still be alive when I rescue him, because when I do, I'm gonna fuck him dead!" Ash screamed, then realised something and blushed, "Ooh my, I almost forgot zu speek weet a french accent. Hmmm, I wondur what zat beeg storm ees on ze horizon?" Ash asked as he looked at the omnipotent storm forming across the desert. It raced over the desert, moving at an unnaturally fast speed. In a manner of minutes, a tar black blanket of clouds covered the clear blue sky.
A Land Rover flung past Ash at high speed, then stopped abruptly, "Oi! You over there! Get in quick! We don't have much time left!" the driver shouted.
"Why? What ees hapeneeng?" Ash asked.
"Vash the Stampede is on the loose! He destroyed two towns in a manner of seconds!" the driver shouted back, "By the looks of it, he is out for revenge! He is searching for a person! Are you getting in or not?" the driver shouted back.
"Vash the Stampede? Zat is what zose big, hairy, burly... I mean, what zose ruffians called Beni-kun! I am comeeng Beni! Zo not Worree!" Ash said, and then he hurried off towards the centre of the storm.
"Crazy fucker, let's roll!" and the Land Rover sped off towards South Town 2.
Author's Note:
Couldn't help myself really. The thought of Brain being behind N.E.S.T.S. was just too funny not to write about.