Chapter 4: It's fun being off duty!
King's bar was not as popular after the incident with the talking mice. People heard rumors that there was a shooting at the bar, and was afraid to go back. Only the regulars frequented the La Illusion on a regular basis. But as time passed, people began to go back once more. The bar counter was repaired at great costs, and Li was now in hospital.
It was a late summer's evening, and the La Illusion was bustling with people. King was talking to Ryo, Vash was behind the bar serving drinks, May Lee was running up and down the place taking orders. Jean was used as a stand-in waiter until King found someone else. At the bar sat Ralf and Clark, semi formally dressed. Clark wore his usual shades, but didn't wear his cap or military uniform. Instead he wore a cool blue button shirt, Diesel jeans and Doc Martins. Ralf wore a pirate skull banana, a sleeveless "Help me look strong" shirt, leather pants and big boots. At the far end of the bar sat a giant of a man. He stood well over seven feet tall, and his heavily muscled body could be seen beneath his blue military uniform. He was bald headed, except for a golden tuft of hair that sprouted from his forehead. He had piercing blue eyes, a blond walrus moustache and pink diamonds were radiating around his face. In his usual booth sat The Guy, playing a game of chess with General Heidern. Leona was sitting with The Guy and her father, also semi formally dressed. She was reading "Cheesypoofs of Death!".
"Interesting move General, most interesting" The Guy said.
"The weakened pawn structure on your queenside will be your downfall" Heidern smilingly said.
"Or it will be your downfall General. You focused too much of your pieces on my queenside, leaving you king wide open. Check" The Guy said as he sacrificed a bishop.
Heidern looked at the position with great interest before coming to a conclusion, "Leaving the queenside exposed on purpose to draw my attention away from the rest of your forces, well done. I resign" Heidern said, toppling over his king.
"Thank you for the game General. It has been an honor to face an opponent of your caliber. Are the Ikari Warriors off duty for once?" The Guy asked.
"Yes, we are off duty for the rest of the week. Ralf, Clark and Leona just returned from a mission, so I decided to give them some time to rest and socialize" Heidern said.
"I see. What are you planning on doing with your free time Leona?" The Guy asked.
Leona looked up from her book, looked hatefully at her father, and then returned to reading, "I wanted to go to Slasher 6"
"Disobey my orders Leona, and you will face my wrath" Heidern growled.
"Sir" Leona growled back.
The Guy looked to where Clark and Ralf were sitting, "Looks like some girls have taken an interest in Clark and Ralf"
"Yes. I have noticed" Heidern said disapprovingly. "Why don't young girls ever take an interest in me?"
"Oh please, an old fart like you?" Leona replied smoothly
Clark was silently sitting at the bar, sipping a beer and taking in the atmosphere. A cute girl had shyly sat down next to him. She was drinking a Roman Candle, but stared more at Clark than at anything else. Clark looked her up and down, noting her small frame and perky breasts, and then gave her a nod before returning to sipping his beer and looking at the other patrons. The nod was enough to slam the girl's breath away.
Ralf was hammered. In front of him stood ten empty draught glasses. Around him sat a group of girls who were hanging on the every word that he said.
"Zhat is when I knew, zhat I muost shave the world! Sho, I grabbed Zero by his penish, and ripped it right off!" Ralf said, sloshing beer over the girls as he motioned with his arms. "Sho, as to proofe zhat the Ikari Warriorzas ish the shrongest, I ate sthe penish!" Ralf exclaimed. The girls ran for the ladies room as they heard this.
"Stop telling people that you saved the world when you are drunk Ralf. You did not save the world" Clark said.
"I'm not dsrunk! I'm shust a bit more loosh mouthed, thass all" Ralf replied.
"You are as drunk as a skunk and you know it!" Clark exclaimed.
Ralf looked at Clark defiantly, and then hit himself in the face, "UGH! Ow! Shit!". He looked almost sober after that, "You're right. I had a beer too many and got carried away, I'm sorry. Hey there cutie! Come and sit on Ralf's lap!" Ralf said as he grabbed Jean.
"Aaah! What the hell!" a surprised Jean shouted.
"Oooh! Such soft hair, and what a tight ass! I'm gonna take you home tonight" Ralf said mischievously.
Clark knew that Ralf had six beers too many, "Ralf, that's not a girl. That is King's little brother"
Ralf looked drunkenly confused at Clark, "She's not a girl?"
Clark shook his head, "No Ralf, now let Jean go. We don't want a repetition of what happened in China"
A disappointed Ralf let go off Jean, "Nobody loves me. Bar dude! Gimme somethin that will kick me like a horse"
"Sheesh! Sorry pal, I eat pussy" Jean said, and ambled off.
Vash immediately issued orders to May Lee, "May, go down to the cellar, open the storage unit that is sealed in the cryogenic freezer. The security code is "Skull Fucker". Bring me one of the vials that are stored there. Remember to wear your protection suit"
"I need no suit to protect me! Who has ever heard of a super hero with a safety suit?" May asked.
"No one has heard of a crispy fried super hero either. Trust me and wear the suit" Vash said.
"Oh alright. I better get paid "extra" for this, Vashie-poo" May said seductively, then went down to the cellar.
The smile on Vash's face stretched from ear to ear. He drooled.
The shy girl had moved her chair next to Clark's, so that she touched him when she sat down. Clark looked at this, gave her a big smile and turned to Vash, "Vash. Oi! Vash! Focus! Get me another beer, and something a bit stronger for the lady"
"I wonder what Whip will say when she finds out that you're cheating on her" Leona said, standing just behind Clark.
Clark froze up. Every muscle tensed, sweat formed on his forehead, "L- Leona. I wasn't cheating! I was just buying this young lady a drink, nothing serious..." the look Leona said it all, "Okay, what do you want"
Leona handed Clarks a small booklet, "Here is a list of my demands, if they are not met, I will report you to Whip"
Clark quickly scanned over them, "Guns... Ammo... Books... Threesome with Clark and Ralf... Access to Slasher 6... Wait, threesome with Clark and Ralf!?" Clark almost shouted it.
"Sssh! If my father finds out, we'll never ever have off duty again!"
"If I find what out?" Heidern asked, the sound of a rattlesnake's tail filling the air.
"Um... Um... Find out that Clark has been cheating on Whip with this floosey!" Leona replied without thinking.
"Hey! I'm not a floosey!" the girl said
Heidern fixed his good eye on Clark, and then turned back to Leona, "I see, but you are hiding something from me, Leona. And I will find out what it is. Bar keep, Weiss beer please". Heidern paid for the beer, and went to play another game of chess.
Leona let out a sigh of relief and composed herself, "Those demands must be executed to the letter Clark, or else"
Clark relaxed a little, "That was close. Don't worry, you're demands will be met. Now let me enjoy my evening", he turned back to the girl. He fixed his shades alignment, ran a hand through his shortly cropped blond hair, and turned on his patented Clark Steel Charm, "Hi, my name is Clark. Nice dress, wanna fuck?"
"Heehee! My name is Keisha. Yeah, sure! My place is just around a corner" and they both left.
Leona took Clark's place at the bar next to Ralf, "Ralf, why do you always get yourself drunk?"
Ralf got a far away look in his eyes, "Because it helps me to forget. Forget those nights in Paraguay, forget the horrors that happened day after day. The blood, the screams, the fire..." at this point Ralf was breathing heavily, his eyes deranged, "...children, women, all were slaughtered. Leona, I killed them all. So many died by my hands. SO MANY! Sob!" Ralf burst into tears.
"It's okay Ralf, it's okay" Leona comforted him, looking around to make sure that he disturbed no one.
May Lee returned from the cellar. She was dressed in an armored suit, clasping the vial in a pneumatic clamp. The vial bubbled and smoked violently, "Vash! A little help here!"
Vash took the out a stone glass and put it down on the table. He took the clamp from May Lee and started pouring the contents of the vial into the glass, "Thank you May. Stand back please, this is a delicate process". After he had poured the vial's contents into the glass, he stirred it with a lead spoon. The spoon melted. "Here you go champ, drink and forget about all your worries"
Ralf took the glass and swallowed everything in one big gulp, "Ugh! Strong stuff. Wow, it kicks like a horse!". A completely smashed and depressed Ralf suddenly sat bolt upright and was as sober as daylight. "I feel great! Man! I feel like the king of the world!". He got off his chair and walked to the center of the bar area. "Uuueeah! I feel super!" he said as he ripped his shirt off. All the ladies' attention in the bar was suddenly directed to Ralf's muscular upper body. He started flexing, and went into a carefully planned routine. "No one is as beautiful as I am! My body is carved from stone! Each muscle sculpted to perfection!"
"I beg to differ!" the giant of a man rumbled from the far end of the bar, his voice like the rumble of a far off thunderstorm. He stood up and removed his coat and shirt, revealing only muscle. He stood next to Ralf, flexing his huge breast muscles. Ralf was completely dwarfed by the man.
"I, Major Alex Louis Armstrong, have the most perfectly toned body this world has ever seen! I will now flex my muscles, using a family technique that was handed down to me by my father!" he said, and went on to flex his awesome muscles.
"Bastard! No one out flexes Ralf Jones!" Ralf exclaimed, and flexed even harder.
The women loved this. They cheered on both men exuberantly. The men also looked on with awe. Suddenly both men stopped and turned to face one another. Slowly they extended their open palms, and shook hands. The patrons cheered!
"Three, two, one. Timber" Vash said, and watched as Ralf toppled over backwards.
Major Armstrong picked Ralf up onto his shoulder. He carried him over to an open booth and laid him down. "You have been a worthy opponent Ralf Jones, I will always remember your name". The good Major paid for his drinks and left.
May suddenly stood next to Vash and whispered into his ear, "I am really tired from getting that vial for you. I need to be, recharged"
Vash turned to King as May dragged him off, "Ma'am, I need to go get a bottle of orange schnapps from the storeroom. I will be a couple of minutes"
King was too engrossed talking to Ryo to notice anything fishy, "Okay Vash, get one from the middle shelf. Now Ryo, when were you planning to come over to my place for a, delicacy tasting?"
The shy Ryo blushed and looked quickly away from King's lovesick eyes, "Um, you see, um, my dad, um, you know, um... Um, tonight?"
King smiled broadly.
The door opened and Terry walked in. His right eye was swollen shut and his hair looked greasy, "A beer, King"
King snapped out of her dream world and saw Terry, "Oh! Hi Terry, here you go. You look terrible! What happened?"
Terry downed half of the beer. Ryo stared at him for some time. Terry gave him the "What the fuck you looking at, punk!" look. Ryo developed a great interest in the bar counter.
Jean ran up to King, "King! Put the news on quickly! It's about Mary!"
King got the remote, and upon pushing a button, the seventy-inch flat screen dropped from the ceiling. Everybody in the bar turned to look at the monitor. There was a news report on TV about Mary Ryan. She was hospitalized with a broken jaw, broken nose, damaged throat pipe and several broken ribs. The next report was about Guile. He was also hospitalized, but with far more serious wounds than Mary. He had two broken arms, a left leg that was broken in five places, eight broken ribs, a punctured right lung, a burst kidney and severe intestine damage. According to doctors it was a miracle that he was still alive. Witnesses are too scared to talk, for they fear that they might end up having the same fate as Guile and Mary.
Ryo, etched slowly away from Terry, "See you later King, I'm just gonna go and... um... freshen up" and then he ran for the door.
"Terrance, what have you done?" Heidern asked. Rattle Rattle.
Terry downed the rest of his beer, "Nothing much"
"We have two officers in hospital with multiple serious wounds. I need an explanation" Heidern said.
"I didn't do anything to them. I have witnesses that can prove that I didn't do anything" Terry replied.
"That would be the case Terrance. Tread softly if you do not wish any trouble from the military. Good evening all" Heidern said. He got his coat, left instructions with Leona to get Ralf back to the base and then left.
Terry also paid for the drink and left. Not long after they left, the door swung open and two people entered.
"Are you sure we did the right thing Marco? The data showed that we had an eighty-eight percent chance of succeeding our mission" Fio said.
"I don't trust numbers and you know that Fio. The only two things that I trust are my guts and my pistol" Marco said.
Leona looked at the two of them as they entered the bar, "Marco? Fio? Is that really you?"
"Leona? Hey! What are you doing here?" Marco asked.
"Leona! How are you? Have you gotten a boyfriend yet?" Fio asked.
"I'm off duty with Ralf and Clark" Leona poked Ralf in the ribs. He gave a snort and continued sleeping. "I don't have a boyfriend as such Fio. What about you guys? I heard you were up north somewhere on a mission"
Marco ordered a beer at the bar, "Two beers please. We were up north until three days ago. We were inspecting rumors about a humanoid typhoon"
"Guy with a red coat, tall blond hair and carries a huge gun. Destruction follows suit. We traveled most of the desert searching for this fellow, but could find him nowhere" Fio said.
"Yeah, until five days ago. I've seen some pretty weird shit in the service, but this guy takes the bakery. Thunder, lightning, storm winds. Who has heard of those things in the middle of that wasteland?" Marco asked.
Leona looked curios for a second, "The power of the storm? Sounds like Benimaru if you ask me, but what is he doing out there?"
"Benimaru? You mean one of the King of Fighters contenders? If it was him, then he was somehow framed as this Vash. But what is he doing out there?" Fio asked.
"Hell knows, but to go back there would be suicide" Marco said. He looked thoughtful for a second, "Hey Fio, didn't we cross some crazy fucker in the desert?"
"You mean the one with the really crappy fake French accent and the totally gay safari outfit?" Fio replied.
"Yeah! That guy. Wonder what his case was. Well, he is a dead man no matter which way you look at it" Marco said.
King who was cleaning the bar overheard the conversation, "Gay safari outfit and crappy French accent? That would be Ash. Gay as six dollar note that guy is"
"You know him?" Fio asked.
"Unfortunately, yes. He was I here about a week and a half ago looking for Benimaru. Then left on a "quest to save him", or something like that" King said.
"Good Lord. What is this world coming to? Give me another beer please" Marco said.
"With pleasure" King said, handing him a beer.
May emerged from the storeroom, looking much more hyper than before. She struck her super hero pose when King looked at her, "Pumped up and good to go!"
Vash on the other hand crawled out of the storeroom, totally drained of all energy and life essence. He had a crazy look to his eyes, "No... more... juice... left. She... is... inhuman!" and he passed out.
Author's Note:
I borrowed Major Armstrong from Full Metal Alchemist. Marco and Fio are from the Metal Slug series. Hope you all enjoyed the chapter! If you want to contribute any ideas, mail me or post a review all help will be greatly accepted. Thx all and hopefully Chapter 5 will be up in two days.
Take Care
Larsonek