Disclaimer: I don't own KRAFT.

Snape Tries to Make a Peanut-Butter Smoothie

Proffesseur – I mean, Professor (Whoops, too much French homework) Snape had just dismissed his class for lunch, and was feeling kind of hungry himself.

"There must be something here I can eat," he said to himself, rummaging through the jars and bottles everywhere. "Let's see, what've we got… that's expired… that's moldy… that's not ripe… that's high in fat…"

He wasn't having much luck. Suddenly, he came across something he recognized.

"What's this? 'Unsweetened, unsalted peanut butter'? Well, it can't be that bad," he said, and checked the jar for the expiry date. Instead, he found a recipe on the back. "'Get-Up and Go Peanut Butter Breakfast Smoothies'… 'A delicious breakfast or snack on the run in 2 simple steps'?"

Deciding that a Peanut Butter Smoothie would be his lunch for the day, he started collecting the ingredients. "'Mix 2 ice cubes, 1 banana, half cup milk, and a couple of spoonfuls of KRAFT Unsweetened/Unsalted Peanut butter in a blender'. Okay, I've got…"

He checked off everything as he found it… somewhere… don't ask…

"Ice cubes… banana… milk…" Check, check, check. "And the bloody peanut butter."

He did a double-take on the jar. "But what's a blender? Oh well, I'll just have to use a cauldron." He read on. "'Blend until smooth'."

So he blended it until it was smooth.

"Mmm, mmm, looks great," he said, and poured some into a cup. Just as he was about to take a sip, he noticed something very important on the label. "The smoothie in the photo has a blue straw!"

He put his glass down, and went in search of a blue straw to drink his smoothie with.

"Mme Pomfreeeeeyyyy!" He called.

"Yes?" Mme Pomfrey asked, who was just roaming the halls, forgetting the dying kids in her hospital.

"Do you have a blue straw? I'm making smoothies," Snape explained.

She fished one out of her pocket. "Good thing I always carry my lucky straw with me."

Snape took the straw, and dashed back to his office. "Quick before it expires!" he said, and put the straw in his smoothie.

He picked it up…

And took a sip…

Seconds later he spat it all out. Light brown bits of smoothie went flying everywhere.

"Poison! POOOISONNN!" he bellowed, dropping the glass. "Ugh! Disgusting – filthy –"

He looked down at the two teddy bears on the jar, who were smiling as happily as ever.

"YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY, DO YOU?!" he yelled. "WELL TAKE THIS!" and he threw the jar around the room.

Draco Malfoy walked in the door. "Hello, Professor. Would you like to try a peanut butter smoothie I made?"

Snape fell over backwards and screamed.

A/N: Sorry, I just had to get that out of my system. Hope you enjoyed! Don't forget to flame!