Jeremy woke in a sweat. The dream had been to realistic, an exact
reenactment of the one thing he wished he could undo. He would like to
redo most of his life. The dream drained him and Eric needed him. As an
assistant minister he was supposed to help him out.
The next morning Jeremy stopped to see Eric in his office. The man looked tired. "Eric?" He motioned Jeremy in. "Are you ill sir?"
"That bad?"
"No sir, that's not what I meant. Is it Lucy?" Had they talked? Had she...
"Did you know that she was kidnapped?"
"What!" Jeremy jumped from the chair.
"I don't mean now. Otherwise, I wouldn't be sitting here this calmly. It was years ago. But last night was spent remembering it, can't you tell? She was 5 about to be 6 years old. A parent's worst fear and it happened."
"Who took her? Why?"
Eric stood up and stood in front of the window behind his desk. "I was helping a family. They had major problems. The man was going to lose his daughter and go to jail. So he took Lucy. Just took her. He found my weak spot."
Jeremy didn't know any of this. The place he was weak. What would he do if he knew the truth now? "Was she damaged by it?"
Eric's pause seemed to long. "Frightened. Extremely frightened. They psychiatrist said traumatic events like this are usually completely forgotten. I don't think she remembers."
Jeremy sat, lost in thought. Severe trauma. Could he use that to explain – if worse came to worse.
Eric continued, "Then there was Annie. Her death caused more problems. I tried to protect Lucy, but I had no control over sickness and disease. In trying to protect her did I smother her? Drive her away?"
Weren't those the words she used? But she didn't mean Eric. Jeremy swallowed and tensed, "You did your best."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Lucy needed to make another trip to the store for supplies, and this time she walked. She placed her items on the counter and Rudy counted out her change. "Thanks" she turned around and smacked into Ben. Her quarter and nickel went flying.
He caught her around the waist. "Sorry Miss Camden." He was laughing.
She didn't think it was funny. "Excuse me." She pulled away from his grip and bent down to pick up the money she dropped.
"Let's have dinner. A little dinner...a little dancing. The Roaring Bear has incredible BBQ ribs."
She shook her head and glanced at Rudy behind the counter. "Good stuff."
With both of them pushing, she couldn't decline, "We'd have to tell Marta."
"Of course, let's go." They got into Ben's corvette and drove up the mountain to the ranch. "Hang on, I'll run in and tell Marta I've got you."
I've got you. A chill came over her as Ben got out of the car. What was she thinking? He only wanted to get dinner. Nothing else. Why were her hands sweaty and her stomach turning? She could change her mind... and be a coward. Sooner or later she would have to stop running from life. Sooner. Instantly she felt confident. Ben returned strutting. Let him strut. He thinks he won, but the victory was hers.
The Roaring Bear was certainly roaring. People were everywhere, talking and yelling. "Can I get you something to drink?" Ben asked.
"Club soda with lime please."
"Don't tell me you're not of age."
"Maybe, but I prefer club soda." Nothing to dull her senses and reactions. She didn't want to feel vulnerable. Never again.
They ate their BBQ ribs and the band began to play. "Come on, I'm sure you're a wonderful dancer" Ben said.
"Why?"
"You have the legs of a dancer. Now c'mon." They started dancing. "You may not know the moves, but you're a great follower."
After every dance Ben would go and drink another beer. Lucy's concern grew. She was thinking he had been drinking too much. But a country love song began and he pulled her onto the floor.
His cheek was next to her hair, "You smell nice."
Lucy turned away.
"You're not easily seduced I see." He ran his fingers over her cheek. "Lady, you sure feel good."
"It's getting late," she said as she pulled away. "Please, keep dancing. You can find someone else." She left and walked up the mountain back to the ranch.
She entered the main room and found Kevin playing the guitar. He looked up when she closed the door. "Where's Ben?"
"He wasn't quite ready to leave" she replied as she sat down across from him.
"I didn't know if you would make it back home okay."
He was staying up for her? She didn't know what to think.
"So you walked back?"
"Yes."
Kevin frowned. "Ben should know better."
"It's okay. Actually I'm not sure he knows I left."
"Do you need anything before I go to bed?"
"No, thank you."
She went upstairs to her room. She lay down on her bed and closed her eyes. She felt Ben's touch on her cheek and his arm around her waist. She had handled it. She was in control. But she began to shake anyway.
The next morning Jeremy stopped to see Eric in his office. The man looked tired. "Eric?" He motioned Jeremy in. "Are you ill sir?"
"That bad?"
"No sir, that's not what I meant. Is it Lucy?" Had they talked? Had she...
"Did you know that she was kidnapped?"
"What!" Jeremy jumped from the chair.
"I don't mean now. Otherwise, I wouldn't be sitting here this calmly. It was years ago. But last night was spent remembering it, can't you tell? She was 5 about to be 6 years old. A parent's worst fear and it happened."
"Who took her? Why?"
Eric stood up and stood in front of the window behind his desk. "I was helping a family. They had major problems. The man was going to lose his daughter and go to jail. So he took Lucy. Just took her. He found my weak spot."
Jeremy didn't know any of this. The place he was weak. What would he do if he knew the truth now? "Was she damaged by it?"
Eric's pause seemed to long. "Frightened. Extremely frightened. They psychiatrist said traumatic events like this are usually completely forgotten. I don't think she remembers."
Jeremy sat, lost in thought. Severe trauma. Could he use that to explain – if worse came to worse.
Eric continued, "Then there was Annie. Her death caused more problems. I tried to protect Lucy, but I had no control over sickness and disease. In trying to protect her did I smother her? Drive her away?"
Weren't those the words she used? But she didn't mean Eric. Jeremy swallowed and tensed, "You did your best."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Lucy needed to make another trip to the store for supplies, and this time she walked. She placed her items on the counter and Rudy counted out her change. "Thanks" she turned around and smacked into Ben. Her quarter and nickel went flying.
He caught her around the waist. "Sorry Miss Camden." He was laughing.
She didn't think it was funny. "Excuse me." She pulled away from his grip and bent down to pick up the money she dropped.
"Let's have dinner. A little dinner...a little dancing. The Roaring Bear has incredible BBQ ribs."
She shook her head and glanced at Rudy behind the counter. "Good stuff."
With both of them pushing, she couldn't decline, "We'd have to tell Marta."
"Of course, let's go." They got into Ben's corvette and drove up the mountain to the ranch. "Hang on, I'll run in and tell Marta I've got you."
I've got you. A chill came over her as Ben got out of the car. What was she thinking? He only wanted to get dinner. Nothing else. Why were her hands sweaty and her stomach turning? She could change her mind... and be a coward. Sooner or later she would have to stop running from life. Sooner. Instantly she felt confident. Ben returned strutting. Let him strut. He thinks he won, but the victory was hers.
The Roaring Bear was certainly roaring. People were everywhere, talking and yelling. "Can I get you something to drink?" Ben asked.
"Club soda with lime please."
"Don't tell me you're not of age."
"Maybe, but I prefer club soda." Nothing to dull her senses and reactions. She didn't want to feel vulnerable. Never again.
They ate their BBQ ribs and the band began to play. "Come on, I'm sure you're a wonderful dancer" Ben said.
"Why?"
"You have the legs of a dancer. Now c'mon." They started dancing. "You may not know the moves, but you're a great follower."
After every dance Ben would go and drink another beer. Lucy's concern grew. She was thinking he had been drinking too much. But a country love song began and he pulled her onto the floor.
His cheek was next to her hair, "You smell nice."
Lucy turned away.
"You're not easily seduced I see." He ran his fingers over her cheek. "Lady, you sure feel good."
"It's getting late," she said as she pulled away. "Please, keep dancing. You can find someone else." She left and walked up the mountain back to the ranch.
She entered the main room and found Kevin playing the guitar. He looked up when she closed the door. "Where's Ben?"
"He wasn't quite ready to leave" she replied as she sat down across from him.
"I didn't know if you would make it back home okay."
He was staying up for her? She didn't know what to think.
"So you walked back?"
"Yes."
Kevin frowned. "Ben should know better."
"It's okay. Actually I'm not sure he knows I left."
"Do you need anything before I go to bed?"
"No, thank you."
She went upstairs to her room. She lay down on her bed and closed her eyes. She felt Ben's touch on her cheek and his arm around her waist. She had handled it. She was in control. But she began to shake anyway.