She has a boyfriend? how did that happen? nobody told me that! the thought of her having a boyfriend other than me is unthinkable.. it breaks my heart...
she is the reason why I want to be strong.. to be worthy of her! to be by her side!.. I thought there was something between us...I thought I had a chance... I thought somehow anyhow, she loved me too!

"WHY," I asked Ais

"what do you mean why?"

"uh, can I ask a question ais?"

"Ais...how long has Kazuma been your boyfriend?"

"huh? uhhhh.. two weeks?"

"how long have you known each other?"

"hey, brat you ask too many questions and.."

"I'M TALKING TO AIS!" I immediately snapped even before he finished his sentence.

"WHY YOU COCKROACH!" Kazuma pissed that I interrupted him, was about to strike, only to be stopped by ais.

"honey..."

"Yes, Honey?"

"Don't fight with bell," Ais said with a pout, Man I love her pout...if only circumstances were different... FAR different

"But he disrespected me! and that cockroach has been bothering you! just wanted to teach him a lesson is all" he said with a tone of arrogance

"That's unnecessary honey... say... I'll take care of bell here! ill meet you later at the hostess of fertility"

"Are you sure my honey? you know ill take care of him if you want"

Every time they call each other honey, my heart breaks... I was close to tears at this point but I held it back. I can't let them see me cry... I can't let him see me cry.

"I'm 100 percent sure i can take it from here... ill meet you at the hostess later! okay?"

"Okay! but before anything else" Kazuma suddenly, grabbed her Ais waist, pulled her lips over to him, and kissed her hungrily, Aiz too was responding.. obviously enjoying the act... WTF IS GOING ON!

this happened for two minutes before Kazuma finally released Ais.

"I love you sugar muffs! see you later! Don't be late!"

"Uh I love you too my honey, see you later"

with Kazuma gone, I and Ais were left in the armor section of the shopping center in babel tower. sitting in a nearby bench, the awkwardness in the air still lingering, BUT I decided to push through with the conversation

"Ais... why?

"huh?"

"Why do you have a boyfriend Ais? I thought we had something... you even said you had no one else in Mind... why? Ais?

"Bell it isn't you! it's me!... I have a boyfriend now and I love him."

"love him?... can I ask a question?"

"Sure"

"how long have you two known each other"

"a month? maybe three weeks? I can not remember..."

"Are you sure you love him? one-month isn't much"

"well, he makes me happy and nice... plus he's a gentleman!" Ais said excitedly like a maiden in love.

"Ais"

"bell, I know you love me, but you have to understand that I have a boyfriend... he loves me and I love him.

"you know my heart is only one and I can only give one"

"WHY?" I said while my eyes are now watering.

"I am very sorry Bell but Friendship Is All I Can Give You Now, you need to find someone else! you need to move on."

This is some kind of sick joke right? this happening was the last thing on my mind when i decided to confess my feelings early in the morning...

"Look I have to leave to do some family errands. But take your time as long as you need ok? Don't hesitate if ask if you need something ok?"

"uhh yeah sure," I said nonchalantly.

"ok bye bell! see you later"

after she said that she quickly left leaving me alone drowned in sadness and pain... I didn't think it would end like this.. after the realization kicked in that I was rejected by the love of my life because of a new boy... the tears I've been holding back for a long time have finally fallen.

I silently cried my eyes out for an hour or two not moving on the bench I was sitting on.. is this for real? am I dreaming? I thought I had a chance. i expected love but got heartbroken instead... I'm delusional! I have no chance! I just thought that! its all drawings its all imagination!

Crying! that's I did. that's what I'm good at! I'm pathethic...

after I cried and drowned myself in despair for basically 3 hours, I finally had the strength to stand up and proceeded to the exit, OH I can't wait to get home sleep this feeling of mine.

Later at The Hearth Mansion, Evening.

It was dusk when I arrived at Hearth Manor. I haven't seen anyone yet, but soon they will come one by one from the dungeon (or in the case of Welf the smithies).
I should go to my room before they see my swollen eyes full of tears, they can't know, not yet.

I walked quickly to my room praying that I wouldn't meet anyone but unfortunately, before I could even go up to the second floor where my room was, I ran up to Haruhime the Renard. OH SHIT

"Oh bell, you're already here. when did you come home?"

"hello Haruhime I just arrived not a while ago""

"oh is that so? have you eaten yet? Do you want me to cook for you master bell?

Nope! I have to refuse! else they might see me like this and dig for questions I can't answer.

"It's fine Haruhime, I'm not hungry maybe tomorrow. I just want to sleep, I'm very tired"
That's my best excuse!

"is that so? ok, take a rest now master bell goodnight!"
phew! at least he accepted that

"yeah see you tomorrow Haruhime"
I say while rushing upstairs en route to my room. but before I ran out of her sight she suddenly called me much to my surprise.

"Uhhh Master bell?"

"Yes, Haruhime?" I said not looking back

"Are you ok? Do you want to share something?"

"I'm fine, I mean why wouldn't I? I'm just tired is all..."

I said non-confidently this time.

"uhh okay if you say so. once again goodnight!"

"Goodnight too!"

We said to each other before walking our separate ways. Man I was lucky Hestia wasn't here! else she would have grilled me non stop already, and there will be no way to lie, she's a Goddess after all and its impossible to lie IN front of Gods/Goddesses!

I quickly entered my room and locked the door. changing into my pajamas I immediately lay down on my bed and hugged a pillow. My mind revolved around different things and ideas. what if I had confessed much earlier to Ais? will it make a difference? what if that guy didn't suddenly appear and ruined my chances, would she have said yes? well, it's no use thinking of those because they're all what-ifs! My grandpa said don't live in the past and I intend on doing that! but as they say, "it's easier said than done"... whatever. with sleep nearly taking me, one thing suddenly comes to my mind. what's next? will i truly forget Ais Wallenstein? oh well, time will tell!

-
PS: Free my boy Slavyangrad