A/N: I'm leaving for a freshman orientation for college, so I won't be
able to update until Wednesday or Thursday of next week (21st/22nd) Sorry!
And I changed the rating again, just to be safe.
Kevin woke up suddenly. He wasn't sure why. He could hear Lucy and jumped our of bed. He put on some sweatpants and ran to her room. He opened the door and she was laying in bed waving her arms trying to defend herself from an unseen attack.
He caught her hand. "Lucy."
She jolted up and fought him. She hit him, defending herself. After several hits, he finally caught her arms. "It's okay. You're all right." She shook uncontrollably and he tried to calm her down.
The robe she was wearing swallowed her up. She looked small and frail. He tried to control himself. But when she raised her face he kissed her. He didn't mean to, it just happened. He didn't want to seduce her, just comfort her. But it felt right. He cradled her against him, calming her.
She whispered. "It was awful. He stood in the doorway, and there was no where to go. Above him, the hawk was there, with it's amber eyes and big wings."
She was still in her dream and he didn't expect it to make sense. He just stroked her back and silently prayed. Lord, help me.
"Can I tell you about Jeremy?"
He nodded. And his guess was correct. Jeremy was the problem. He held her hand and she began.
"My father is a very influential man. After my mom died, he smothered me. He thought he was protecting me. He chose all of my friends and boyfriends. They all had to be approved."
That wasn't always a bad thing, but Kevin just sat in silence.
"Then there was Jeremy. He became the associate pastor at my dad's church. Dad loved him and introduced us. I like him. He was charming and kind. Eight months later, we were engaged." Her hand dropped to her lap. "And then things changed."
Something came over Kevin. Was he jealous of Jeremy?
"He would give me something and question why I wasn't wearing it. He chose my friends and where I was allowed to go. He owned me."
"Your father allowed this?"
"I allowed it. Only things got worse. He would get angry and yell at me if I didn't agree with him." She wiped the tears from her eyes. "I didn't say anything because I thought it was just a phase."
That's why she refused to talk her to father. She felt betrayed by him.
"When I broke off the engagement, Jeremy went crazy. He was certain I was leaving him for someone else. He didn't let go of the idea. He told me he would never let me go. He hit me and the rest I can't remember."
She didn't have to tell him, he knew what happened. He pulled her close and let her cry. "So I ran." He held her and she cried. He stayed with her until she fell asleep.
Kevin went downstairs and searched his Bible. He was angry at Jeremy for hurting her, at Ben for coming onto her, at himself... He read and his eyes became tired. Suddenly, one line stood out to him on the page. "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins." Could his love cover the sins against her? Would his love be enough to cover the pain? He couldn't alone, but with Christ's help. He got his coat and drove to the small house next to the church. Pastor Tom didn't rise early, but he desperately needed guidance. "Sorry to bother you, but I need your help." "Come in Kevin. Can I get you some coffee?" "Thanks." They sat at the table and Kevin told Pastor Tom Lucy's story. "Kevin, I'm no expert on rape, but I know that she won't trust people easily." "I don't want it to be easy. I just want to do the right thing." "You should start with sharing your faith with her." He didn't want to hear that. He wanted something concrete and straight forward. And how could he love her- or did he? She didn't share in his beliefs, they were from different worlds. He felt very doubtful. "I'll try. But there is another problem. I can't spend the winter up there alone with her at the ranch." He was more likely to fall from grace, than she was to attain it. "Why don't you take her to Iowa to see your family?" He had considered that. His dad all ready loved her and he was sure his mom would too. Pastor Rom leaned forward. "And you realize Kevin that she may never return your affection? You may lead her to faith, but not gain anything." "I understand."
"Then take her to your family. Surround her with love and warmth. Teach her what it means to belong." To belong. Yes. He nodded. "Thank you."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Lucy awoke the next morning and expected to see Kevin sitting there next to her. But the room was empty. She remembered the kiss. She had wanted it. Was that wrong of her? She limped to the bathroom and took a relaxing bath. Then she went downstairs. The house was completely silent. She went into the kitchen expecting to see Kevin, but he wasn't there. She went to the refriegerator and opened it. All of the shelves were full. She hadn't seen that in awhile. Kevin came in and dropped the paper on the table. "Something in there that you would like?" "I'm just taking it all in. The food." He smiled. "Well you must be feeling better." She didn't want what he was making her feel. "I'm sorry about last night."
"What are you sorry about?"
"I didn't mean to wake you up."
"And the rest?"
"I'm not sorry I told you about the rest. You deserved to the know truth about me and why I am here."
He raised her chin towards him. "And the rest?"
He meant his kiss and his touch. He released her and pulled out a chair. "What can I make you for breakfast? How about eggs and toast?"
"Sure. Thanks."
Kevin made breakfast and they sat down to eat. He took her hand in his and bowed his head. "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. You are my refuge, my God in whom I trust. Amen."
"Kevin..."
"Eat first, talk later." They ate and finally Kevin broke the silence. "Lucy, do you want to press charges against Jeremy?" Charges? Against Jeremy? It would devastate her dad. "I don't want my dad to know." "Are you certain?" She could only imagine the shock. The media would be all over the story. It would be embarrassing, it would turn into a circus when word got out that Eric Camden's assistant minister raped his daughter. Part of her wanted him to get what he deserved. "Yes." "Then I want you to go to Iowa. Come home with me." "I am home."
He shook his head. "We can't spend the winter up here alone. It just wouldn't look right. That's partly why I let you leave before." "And the other part?" "To think about my feelings for you." "Do you know how you feel now?" His fingers dropped to the nape of her neck and he leaned close and kissed her. "Obviously not." She was convinced.
A/N: Please remember to review! Thank you!
Kevin woke up suddenly. He wasn't sure why. He could hear Lucy and jumped our of bed. He put on some sweatpants and ran to her room. He opened the door and she was laying in bed waving her arms trying to defend herself from an unseen attack.
He caught her hand. "Lucy."
She jolted up and fought him. She hit him, defending herself. After several hits, he finally caught her arms. "It's okay. You're all right." She shook uncontrollably and he tried to calm her down.
The robe she was wearing swallowed her up. She looked small and frail. He tried to control himself. But when she raised her face he kissed her. He didn't mean to, it just happened. He didn't want to seduce her, just comfort her. But it felt right. He cradled her against him, calming her.
She whispered. "It was awful. He stood in the doorway, and there was no where to go. Above him, the hawk was there, with it's amber eyes and big wings."
She was still in her dream and he didn't expect it to make sense. He just stroked her back and silently prayed. Lord, help me.
"Can I tell you about Jeremy?"
He nodded. And his guess was correct. Jeremy was the problem. He held her hand and she began.
"My father is a very influential man. After my mom died, he smothered me. He thought he was protecting me. He chose all of my friends and boyfriends. They all had to be approved."
That wasn't always a bad thing, but Kevin just sat in silence.
"Then there was Jeremy. He became the associate pastor at my dad's church. Dad loved him and introduced us. I like him. He was charming and kind. Eight months later, we were engaged." Her hand dropped to her lap. "And then things changed."
Something came over Kevin. Was he jealous of Jeremy?
"He would give me something and question why I wasn't wearing it. He chose my friends and where I was allowed to go. He owned me."
"Your father allowed this?"
"I allowed it. Only things got worse. He would get angry and yell at me if I didn't agree with him." She wiped the tears from her eyes. "I didn't say anything because I thought it was just a phase."
That's why she refused to talk her to father. She felt betrayed by him.
"When I broke off the engagement, Jeremy went crazy. He was certain I was leaving him for someone else. He didn't let go of the idea. He told me he would never let me go. He hit me and the rest I can't remember."
She didn't have to tell him, he knew what happened. He pulled her close and let her cry. "So I ran." He held her and she cried. He stayed with her until she fell asleep.
Kevin went downstairs and searched his Bible. He was angry at Jeremy for hurting her, at Ben for coming onto her, at himself... He read and his eyes became tired. Suddenly, one line stood out to him on the page. "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins." Could his love cover the sins against her? Would his love be enough to cover the pain? He couldn't alone, but with Christ's help. He got his coat and drove to the small house next to the church. Pastor Tom didn't rise early, but he desperately needed guidance. "Sorry to bother you, but I need your help." "Come in Kevin. Can I get you some coffee?" "Thanks." They sat at the table and Kevin told Pastor Tom Lucy's story. "Kevin, I'm no expert on rape, but I know that she won't trust people easily." "I don't want it to be easy. I just want to do the right thing." "You should start with sharing your faith with her." He didn't want to hear that. He wanted something concrete and straight forward. And how could he love her- or did he? She didn't share in his beliefs, they were from different worlds. He felt very doubtful. "I'll try. But there is another problem. I can't spend the winter up there alone with her at the ranch." He was more likely to fall from grace, than she was to attain it. "Why don't you take her to Iowa to see your family?" He had considered that. His dad all ready loved her and he was sure his mom would too. Pastor Rom leaned forward. "And you realize Kevin that she may never return your affection? You may lead her to faith, but not gain anything." "I understand."
"Then take her to your family. Surround her with love and warmth. Teach her what it means to belong." To belong. Yes. He nodded. "Thank you."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Lucy awoke the next morning and expected to see Kevin sitting there next to her. But the room was empty. She remembered the kiss. She had wanted it. Was that wrong of her? She limped to the bathroom and took a relaxing bath. Then she went downstairs. The house was completely silent. She went into the kitchen expecting to see Kevin, but he wasn't there. She went to the refriegerator and opened it. All of the shelves were full. She hadn't seen that in awhile. Kevin came in and dropped the paper on the table. "Something in there that you would like?" "I'm just taking it all in. The food." He smiled. "Well you must be feeling better." She didn't want what he was making her feel. "I'm sorry about last night."
"What are you sorry about?"
"I didn't mean to wake you up."
"And the rest?"
"I'm not sorry I told you about the rest. You deserved to the know truth about me and why I am here."
He raised her chin towards him. "And the rest?"
He meant his kiss and his touch. He released her and pulled out a chair. "What can I make you for breakfast? How about eggs and toast?"
"Sure. Thanks."
Kevin made breakfast and they sat down to eat. He took her hand in his and bowed his head. "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. You are my refuge, my God in whom I trust. Amen."
"Kevin..."
"Eat first, talk later." They ate and finally Kevin broke the silence. "Lucy, do you want to press charges against Jeremy?" Charges? Against Jeremy? It would devastate her dad. "I don't want my dad to know." "Are you certain?" She could only imagine the shock. The media would be all over the story. It would be embarrassing, it would turn into a circus when word got out that Eric Camden's assistant minister raped his daughter. Part of her wanted him to get what he deserved. "Yes." "Then I want you to go to Iowa. Come home with me." "I am home."
He shook his head. "We can't spend the winter up here alone. It just wouldn't look right. That's partly why I let you leave before." "And the other part?" "To think about my feelings for you." "Do you know how you feel now?" His fingers dropped to the nape of her neck and he leaned close and kissed her. "Obviously not." She was convinced.
A/N: Please remember to review! Thank you!