Summary: Rogue Squadron heads back to Hoth to defend an Intelligence Unit. But they get more than they bargained for.

Disclaimer: Star Wars, Rogue Squadron, and the rest are not mine. I write this
for my own amusement. Jesina is my own, original creation.

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Chapter 5: Recognition and Regret

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After his conversation with Jesina – Keyra, he reminded himself, at least for now – Wedge headed back to the hangar. Tycho had commed him to tell him that they'd found Iella, and he was looking forward to seeing her – and to finding out how much she knew about Jesina. "Keyra," he corrected himself, saying the name out loud, as if that would cause it to make enough sense to actually stay in his brain.

He caught sight of his pilots and approached them slowly, wondering how to do this. He glanced around for Iella as he walked, and saw that she was talking to Mara – who, apparently, Keyra didn't trust very much. When Mara glanced in his direction, he waved them over.

He reached into his flightsuit pocket and pulled out his datapad. After bringing up a certain image, he handed it to Iella. "Do you recognize her?"

Iella nodded. "It's Keyra Nitram," she answered, giving Wedge a strange look. Then she glanced at Tycho, who had walked around the little group and was looking over her shoulder. "I thought you said you didn't know her."

Tycho's jaw dropped. "I—that's—we—" he broke off, giving up.

"What Tycho is so aptly saying," Wes clarified, "is that you're crazy. They's Jesina Dreis, not Keyra Nitram."

Mara rolled her eyes. Antilles had figured it out but, from the expressions the others were wearing, everyone else was being a little slow. You're both right."

All eyes turned to her. "You knew about this?" Wedge asked.

She shrugged. "How much is there that goes on that Karrde doesn't know about? Come on. He spends a lot of time in the Outer Rim territories. It's in his best interests to know the regional intelligence head – and her history."

Wedge frowned. He might have guessed. "Why didn't you say anything?"

She took a sip of the caf in her hand. "Whatever her reasons for staying hidden, they're her business, not mine. Until she makes me mad, anyway."

"So why did you say anything now?" Iella asked.

Mara rolled her eyes once again. She found that she did that a lot around these people. "Because the fact that Wedge asked you about her – and wasn't the least bit surprised by your response – makes it obvious that he already knows. Which means the secret is out."

Hobbie just shook his head. "You guys have succeeded in confusing the Sith out of me."

"Big surprise," Wes muttered.

Hobbie scowled at him. "And I suppose this all makes sense to you, right?"

"Oh, yeah. Jesina died over ten years ago, but she didn't really die, just became someone else, and now she works with her former best friends' girlfriends, doing the bidding of the man who lives to make us all miserable. Yeah, perfect sense," Wes retorted.

Wedge held up his hand. "Cool it. She'll explain everything later but," he turned to face his XO, "she wants to talk to you now. She's waiting in her office – it's where Riekkan's used to be." When Tycho hesitated, he nodded his head toward the doorway. "Go on."

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Tycho approached the office that had once belonged to General Rieekan slowly. What was he supposed to say to a woman who had been his best friend – the one constant in his life – who had let him believe she was dead for more than a decade? He wasn't sure he even wanted to speak to her. Wedge had suggested that Jesina had an explanation, but he wasn't sure he wanted to hear it. He wasn't sure that any explanation would be enough.

He held his hand up to the door for a full minute before actually knocking. When he heard her voice, still familiar despite the number of years that had passed, he froze. He must have stood there longer than he realized, because she finally came to the door and opened it herself, looking to see who was there. The door slid open and he found himself staring into her deep green eyes. "Sith."

"Well, I didn't think I was that terrible," she joked, but didn't elicit so much as a smirk from Tycho.

There were two sides to Tycho Celchu. The side that people like Wedge saw was passionate, had a sense of humor, and was kind and caring, if somewhat closed off. To those who didn't know him well, the Alderaanian appeared ice-cold, stone-faced, and unfeeling. That was the personality he tended to fall back on when out of his element, in pain or under duress – as he was now. He stared at her silently, eyes narrow, face impassive.

She sighed. "Come in, Tycho." Without speaking, he followed her into the office and the door hissed closed behind them. "Have a seat, Tycho."

"I'd rather stand." His voice was just as cold as his expression. His eyes were as icy as the walls that surrounded them.

Jesina sat down on the edge of the desk. "Tycho, please let me explain."

"I don't know if I want to."

"Please, give me a chance." She'd grimaced at the pleading tone that had crept into her voice. He'd been there less than a minute and she was already reduced to begging.

"Why should I? More than ten years, Jesina! You were the only thing that kept me sane, and you let me believe for ten years that you were dead!" His voice rose with every word. "Give me one good reason why I should listen to you!" He was shouting now.

"I didn't know who I was!" she shouted back at him.

He stared at her, stunned by her outburst. "How? What?"

"I was on an Intelligence assignment, not a delivery. And I was ambushed by the Inhibitor. Your Captain had learned who I was and that I was the one who helped you escape. He ambushed me, thought he'd destroyed my ship, but I managed an emergency jump out. I hit my head and lost my memory. I was broadcasting a false transponder and I didn't have any idea. I landed on Belsavis, found a place to stay, and was eventually found by Cracken, who'd been tracking me because I was working for him. He tried telling me who I was, but I couldn't remember. She set me up with a new idea and listed me as KIA. I didn't regain my memory until a few years ago." It was the condensed version of what she'd told Wedge, and she somehow managed to say it all in one breath.

He was still staring at her, trying to make sense of everything she'd just said. It had come out as a jumble of words, wrought with emotion. He knew her well enough, even after all these years, to hear the pain and guilt and frustration in her voice. But still, he couldn't bring himself to comfort her, to even step toward her. It was all he could do just to speak.

"Why didn't you come to us when you regained your memory?"

"Because you had a life by then, one that didn't include me. I didn't want to screw that up for you. I didn't want to mess with your mind by coming back from the dead after 6 years or so."

"One that didn't include you?" he exclaimed. "Did you just say that? My life will include you until the day I die, whether or not you're right there with me." He turned away for a moment, and then turned back. "Do you have any idea what I went through when Rieekan told Wedge and I that you were dead?"

"Yes, I do. And when I had the choice of telling you, of coming back to life – and then possibly dying on you again, since Intelligence work is hardly the safest in the galaxy – I had to make the hardest decision I've ever made in my life. I chose to stay dead, and I've regretted it every day since, but I'm still convinced that I made the right choice."

"Even now? Now that we know?"

Jesina hesitated. "If I'd known then that, somewhere down the line, we'd see each other like this, I might have chosen differently," she admitted. "But I made the right choice based on the information I had at the time. Hindsight always gives you perfect vision."

He shook his head. He didn't know what to say to her, so he didn't say anything. This was a lot to take in, and he needed time to think, and she could tell. "Tycho, I'm not asking you to forgive me, and I'm not asking you to understand. All I ask is that you respect that I was put in a terrible position, and I made the best choice I could."

He nodded, and, without speaking, turned to go. The door had already slid open by the time he turned back. "I'll talk to you later," he said softly, and left without waiting for a response.

She watched him leave, regretting not stopping him, regretting letting Cracken hide her away all those years ago, and regretting coming back now.

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Wedge looked up as Tycho entered his office. The Alderaanian perched on one of the several crates of basic supplies scattered around the small room. His face was pale, and he looked tired. "Where is everyone?"

"Wes is taking Corran, Ooryl, and Gavin around the base. Inyri is talking to Hobbie – he took one look at the snow speeders and froze up. She practically dragged him away."

"Inyri and Hobbie, huh?"

Wedge shook his head. "I don't think anything's going on. I think they're getting to be friends, is all." He paused. "How'd it go?"

He exhaled hard. "I don't know." Raking a hand through his hair, he focused on his boots. "I feel like I should be mad at her, but I can't really blame her."

"Yeah. That's what I was thinking when I left. But I can't say I wouldn't have made the same decision in her place. I can't say I would have, but I can't say for sure that I'd have done anything differently."

Tycho nodded. "I think I'm still in shock, too. I don't know if any of it – her being alive, her explanation – has really sunk it yet."

"Give it time." Wedge exhaled, and then changed the subject. "We need to actually get down to business. Why don't you get everyone together for a quick briefing, huh? Say, about," he glanced at his chrono, "half an hour?"