Zibell Fanfiction: 2

"Reckless Behavior; Tragedy Reminder"

Author's Note:

Hey, everyone. I am finally back with chapter two in my Zibell fanfiction. I am beyond ready to see Maggie Bell return to my screen, to OA, the team, the field.

I hope you like this chapter, thank you for taking the time to read and review, it means a lot.

Disclaimer:

I DO NOT own the show, FBI nor its characters. I am just borrowing them for the entertainment in between episodes, lol.

I also do not own the lyrics used within this chapter. The lyrics were used from ''Stronger Than My Storm" by Citizen Soldier.

HAPPY READING & HAPPY FBI DAY!

MAGGIE BELL'S RETURN ! 3

Love Always,

Hope :)

Tragedy: An event causing great suffering, destruction, and distress, such as a serious accident, crime, or natural catastrophe.

It was a tragedy.

The only word that truly defines these past incidents.

It almost changed my life forever, could have ended his…

OA, my partner, my best friend, my light at the end of the darkened tunnel of doubt I found myself in.

I awoke with my body tense, shaking, sweating and a scream escaping my lips.

I have had another nightmare, countless they have become.

The terror no less than it was.

I looked over to my right, glancing at the clock that read two am. My eyes then continued to scan downward to his features. The calm rush inside of me with knowledge he is here, safe, breathing.

"Mags.."

I had been so lost within my own emotions that I hadn't noticed he awoke and I was caught staring.

"Yeah.. I am sorry I woke you."

"It's okay. Are you… okay, I mean? Truly."

"I will be. I have my appointment with Elaine at nine today. It's my final session before I return to work."

"How are you feeling about that?"

"I'm ready. I am ready to be back at work, back in the field, back with you."

"I can't wait to have you back in the field with me Maggie. Nina is great, but she isn't you."

"Thank you, OA, it really means a lot that I have your support."

"Always, Mags, always. Why don't you try and get some more sleep. You want to be well rested. You know Jubal's jokes and being over tired do not mix well."

I let out a small chuckle as I cuddled into his side once more, slowly drifting back into a hopefully peaceful slumber.

"I've come to understand.

That tragedy's a second chance

My dying breath is where I was born."

The days were long, scary, painful, everything in between.

I have had months of physical therapy. I had never felt so weak in my life.

I still feel weak, but not the same way.

Yes, I still have muscle tightness that I will need to keep up with, especially with my physical job.

I feel weak physically as well as emotionally and mentally.

There are some days I really question myself as to if I am strong enough. Or as strong as I should be, as everyone says I am. I do not see it within myself anymore.

Then again, I am alive where it was so terribly close to being the other way around.

I have a second chance, this job, this life, my future and my relationship with OA.

He terrified me with the case the other day. He was furious with me when I almost went and got myself blown up due to my recklessness, acting on my own instinct.

When I got the text from Tiffany and a call from Jubal about what had happened and to meet them at the JOC. I did not know what to say just then, yell, hug him first, cry with fear and frustration. I am relieved he is okay. I could not do this without him.

We both have a second chance, we need to make it count.

"The rock bottom only got me higher

Won't be a victim,

I'm a survivor."

"Maggie, today is your last session with me until you go back to work.

How are you doing?"

"I am doing okay. I feel confident for the most part."

"For the most part, care to elaborate."

"The last time I was in the field… the last case, it could have gone either way…"

"Yes, but it didn't. You are here. Do you remember our first session?"

How could I forget that.

I was so angry.

I was angry at myself, going in pursuit without waiting for S.W.A.T. or OA. I went in alone, unprotected, unsafe.

I was confident then.

Maybe too confident.

Maybe I deserved it for being reckless.

This was my consequence; my life sentence….

"For so long I tried to pretend away my pain.

My secret to keep it left me one step away

Some days I couldn't get much lower.

My heart couldn't beat much slower."

"Maggie?"

"Yes…?"

"Where did you just go?"

"I went back to a place I did not want to feel.

I still feel it sometimes; all over again.

The panic, his voice so scared and me begging him to get me out of there. I put myself there. I put him there.

How can he trust me again, be with me, around me in general without a second thought?"

"Self -hatred, I'm fighting

Feels like a prison cell "

"I know it is frustrating Maggie. Unfortunately you are going to have to continue to work through that, with me, with him, but mostly with yourself.

Do you trust him? "

"Of course I do."

"He trusts you all the same, Maggie. He is your partner. He had your back, he got you to safety.

You would do the same for him. It is what you are meant to do, no matter the situation. You two work well together."

"I refuse to believe the liar in my head.

The proof is stitched in my scars

I'm strong enough.

…. I found myself through the dark."

I felt better after leaving Elaine's office. Even though I still have self doubt, I have this.

I chose this career for a reason, to protect.

I want to continue to get justice and protect those who need it most.

I want to still be able to be the voice for those who do not feel they have an option to.

I may have my fears but I can fight through them, and will continue to fight to get back to me.

"Being broken gave me fight-

I'm not giving up.

I'm stronger than my storm"