Disclaimer: NONE OF THE CHARACTERS BELONG TO ME BUT THE STORY
DOES!
FFVIII Fanfic
Title: TO BE A SEED
Chapter Title: Danger!
1st Person POV (Squall)
Running, running, hard and fast through the driving rain, desperately trying to escape the terror behind me. I trip, I stumble, but still I run… Breathing-panting- terrified.
Staring at the terror around me- the earth cracks and in my madness I see bodies rising out of the ground, hands raised as if to grab me, thin and ghostly fingers pointing at my face as they scream a hollow, ghastly cry:
"You!"
Screaming, spinning round and round only to face more corpses pushing their way out of the cracked ground, unmarked graves splitting and pushing out the wet and reeking dead things that now seem to live again- faces, half rotten, pushing at me, spinning round and round- faces flashing around me until I see a face I recognise- I scream, I yell, I sink down to the ground as I see the uniform hanging off the skeleton of a Galbadian soldier I killed years ago, a man I'd had to slaughter in cold blood.
Screaming, I realise that the walking corpses that surround me are those of the people I have killed- soldiers, civilians- and now, rising from the mud in front of me with arms outstretched, filthy but unmistakeable, floating and wailing above my knelt and shivering form… the sorceress of time compression- Ultimecia! Opening her hideous mouth, she lets out a high wail:
"MURDERER!"
"NO!" I scream and scream the word as the sorceress and the circle of zombies draw away from me.
"Murderer SeeD! Murderer SeeD!" they cry.
"I stumble as I rise to my feet, backing away from the hideous form of the sorceress, only to be pushed again by the now encroaching corpses who moan and wail pitifully in the rain and mud of the Alcauld Plains.
The deafening chant is taken up again and again:
"Mur-der-er, Mur-der-er, MUR-DER-ER!" Wailing and screeching they close in on me, pushing at me with their hands, pulling me into the earth with them, screaming, pulling, screaming, pulling, screaming and screaming and screaming until-
"NO!" I rose sharply from the bed, my hands wildly flailing from side to side as I tried to fling the non-existent corpses off me. My panic subsiding, I lowered my arms as my brain slowly recognised the features of the room- the tick-tock of the clock on the wall, the crib on the floor beneath it and the sleeping figure beside me.
My panic not yet gone, I stood up- careful not to wake Rinoa- and walked over to the crib. Inside, my baby girl was sleeping soundly, a gentle smile illuminating her rosy cheeks and he moonlight from the window lighting up the soft black hair on her head. I gazed at the little wonder that slept in the cot that Zell had made as soon as he heard that Rinoa was pregnant. I laughed softly as I remembered the day that I had found him in the Garden workshop, yelling multiple obscenities because he'd hit his thumb with a hammer. From that moment on, he never mentioned the cot without including at least one of the swear words he'd used that day.
Now, my little girl, Raine, was sleeping in the crib and looked like an angel underneath her warm blanket. I leant over and kissed her on the cheek, then made my way back to bed. I pulled the covers up to my waist and put my arms round Rinoa, kissed her hair once and got down to sleep.
The next morning, I sat at a cafeteria table, relating the dream to Selphie as she munched her way through a pile of pancakes. Beside her, Zell and Quistis were busy sorting out plans for the annual Spring Break, due in two weeks time, their tireless hands scribbling down details of activities arranged for those students who were unable to go home for some reason or other- that meant the orphans and the runaways.
As I told Selphie about Ultimecia's appearance in my dream, her eyes widened and she spluttered, almost choking on her pancakes. Waving her fork around wildly, she exclaimed;
"You saw Ultimecia?!"
"Yes, I replied quietly.
"Wow…" was all she said before shoving another forkful of pancake in her mouth. Some syrup dribbled off her lip and she mopped it up with a napkin. She sat in contemplation for a minute or two as she finished her breakfast, then she spoke again;
"Where you alright after the dream?"
I sat back sipping my coffee and wondering why I had instinctively wanted to check on Raine when I awoke. I closed my eyes, savouring the smell of the drink, and then simply stared at the table.
"Physically?" I replied, "Fine. But it's kind of disturbing to wake up so suddenly from a dream like that. Was a bit shaken, that's all."
"I'm not surprised," said Selphie, thoughtfully, "I mean, you saw everyone you've ever killed, for Hyne's sake."
"I could see Zell inclining his head in the direction of the conversation and his eyes glanced quickly at my face, then flicked back down to his work.
"What's up, Zell?" I asked.
"Doesn't matter," was the sullen reply.
I decided to leave it at that. He had work to do, which I was grateful for him doing, because it took a load of work off my hands and let me organise my first holiday away from Garden in five years, and I could take Rinoa and Raine with me.
I sighed. My position as headmaster at Balamb kept me unbelievably busy, too busy sometimes to even see Rinoa. I hated myself for it, but I knew that it was a job worth keeping and that, really, it was the only life I had known since my permanent alleviation to the position after Cid resigned when Ultimecia was defeated. Now, at age 27, I couldn't imagine being anything else BUT headmaster.
I suddenly woke from my reverie when I head Quistis shout to the cafeteria staff for some more coffee. I knew I had been silent for a long time from Selphie's concerned look.
"You really are worried about this, aren't you?"
My smile dropped as I pushed my chair back and stood up from the table.
"Not really," I said- and I swear I heard Quistis making fun of me again- then I picked up my rubbish, put it in the bin and waved goodbye to Selphie as I walked out of the room.
My office was large, but the amount of filing cabinets against the walls made it seem tiny, especially when it was busy with SeeDs coming in and out to look for files and information, or to make reports about past or future missions. But right now it was empty and there was a large amount of space for me to walk around in. That helped because- though I hated to admit it- the dream was still bugging me and the only thing that helped me to relieve stress was to walk or pace up and down.
But the dream annoyed me simply because it didn't mean anything to me! That was the irony- I was cold against feelings of guilt, of remorse for the things I'd done in the past. As I paced, I once again fell into thinking…
The first time I killed a human, I was on an outdoor session with my weapons class. I was fourteen, and we were sent to fight some of the stronger monsters on the Galbadia continent, as the Balamb creatures were way too weak for us to train properly. When we got there, we ran into a twenty-five strong group of soldiers wearing old uniforms and using busted up weapons that barely worked.
We fought them off easily with the instructor's help, but they turned around and said that they would tell President Deling about the attack and blame the Gardens for stirring up trouble. We were instructed to kill all of them, lest they held true to their threat and put the Gardens in danger.
We did as we were told. We killed every one of them. A young soldier lost his helmet in the battle and I stared at his face as I brought my Revolver down across his chest, the bullet erupting from the barrel and forcing it's way into his body. I stumbled back, eyes fixed on the wound, then the face of the soldier. He crumpled and sank to the earth, blood choking and spewing from his lips as he twitched violently… then finally lay still and silent.
I choked, a dread feeling building in the pit of my stomach like a lump of steel. I ran away from the battle as fast I could on the wet and muddy ground. Going down on my knees as my instructor approached, I expected to be disciplined for my cowardice. I lowered my eyes and cringed as the footsteps grew louder and louder.
But instead of a voice yelling in my ear, I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder, and the soft voice of my instructor telling me that it was okay. I rose to my feet and walked back to the rest of the group. When we got back to Garden, she spoke to me in Doctor Kadowaki's office.
"Squall," she said, "it's okay to feel bad about this. At your level, you weren't supposed to have this sort of experience for another two years at least."
I think I cried…I know that I felt like a five year old. Then the instructor said some words that stayed with me ever since.
"Killing is what we do, Squall. It's what we're bred and trained for in this organisation. We are highly paid assassins with uniforms and titles. To be a SeeD is not just to kill, but that is at the core of our lives. In a few years, you'll understand that, and you'll be able to block it all out, like the rest of us."
She was right. Three years later, in my SeeD exam, I'd coldly killed Galbadian soldiers without a second thought. I was cold, indifferent, distanced from the bodies on the ground in front of me. I had become the perfect SeeD.
Now, as I stood in my office, I realised that the young soldier in my dream had been that same soldier I had killed so long ago, the one who'd lost his helmet, allowing me to see his terrified face. It had been the faces that freaked me out in the dream- the face of the soldier, the face of the sorceress, the rotting flesh that still resembled the person it belonged to, the face of the soldier years ago as I tore his body apart with my gunblade, his eyes bulging out of his skull in pain.
I shivered all over. I had a big problem with dead faces. I couldn't bear to see the expressionless features of those no longer among the living, their skin like wax, sunken over their skulls. Even if I felt nothing for the fact that I'd killed them, I couldn't bear to see their faces.
A sudden knock on the door of my office made me jump. Shaking myself out of my reverie, I opened the door and found a piece of paper attached to the outside handle.
"Pranksters!" I yelled, hoping whoever had left the note had heard me. I didn't have time for immature students to be playing games around my office. Picking up the note, I sighed and wandered back to my desk.
"They gonna tell me to order more hotdogs again?" I muttered grumpily.
Lazily, I opened the note. I read the contents, then shouted over the Intercom for Quistis to get to my room right away.
I heard Quistis mumble something as she paced the length of my office- looking rather like me, which was amusing- with the note in her hand. When she saw my confused face, she stopped her pacing and placed the note back on my desk, leaning on the chair behind her.
"What did you say?" I asked.
"Just repeating the words on the note- 'YOU'RE FAMILY ARE IN DANGER,'" she replied, "I don't recognise the handwriting and frankly I don't think any of the students would have left something like that as a joke. They respect you to much."
"Whatever," I mumbled.
Quistis giggled. I looked at her disdainfully and wished sincerely that I'd never used the word 'whatever' in my days as a student.
"First thing to do is find whoever sent you this."
"Agreed."
"I'll start investigating-" Quistis was cut off by Selphie bursting in, hopping up and down in a panic.
"Squall!" she cried, "you've got to Balamb, quick! Rinoa's been attacked!"
"Hell!" I shouted, taking off after Selphie as quick as possible and shouting to Quistis: "take care of things 'til I get back!"
I reached my Balamb home to find the front windows and door smashed in pieces. Shards of glass were strewn over the lawn and the door was broken in two and thrown on the street.
"Oh, hell…" I whispered. Wandering into the house, I could see the furniture ripped to pieces, all the chairs and tables broken apart, the valuables smashed against the walls and ruined. The entire house was a shambles.
Hearing the crunch of broken glass behind me, I turned to find Rinoa standing there. I opened my arms and she drew into my embrace. Holding her firmly and warmly, I rocked slightly as she cried softly into the material of my SeeD uniform.
"Shh…" I wanted to desperately to calm her down. She looked up at me, tears falling down her beautiful face, her eyes tired and red from weeping.
"I… I couldn't stop it," she sobbed, holding me tightly, clutching at my sleeves and creating little dark spots where the salty water fell on the material.
"Where's Raine?" I asked.
"Mrs Dincht's," she replied, "she's been there all day, so she didn't see the attack."
"Who attacked you?"
"Men… in masks… black clothes… no insignia."
The tone of her voice let me know she was annoyed with me. I was going into SeeD mode again, being very official and ignoring the shock she was feeling. I didn't mean to do it. I was so relieved that Raine had been at Zell's house. But I was still Squall, and that meant being a little cold sometimes.
"Squall…" Rinoa said, "I'm… scared."
I didn't know what to make of it. I had thought the note I had received at Garden to be a hoax, but now… I knew I had to send my family somewhere they would be safe.
"You have to go to Esthar alone," I said.
"What?" she cried, "I can't leave you!"
"You have to," I sighed. I brushed her hair away from her face and wiped away her tears with my hand as she asked quietly;
"What are you going to do?"
"Find the bastards who did this and kill them all."
That afternoon, I was on the phone to the Presidential Palace, arranging for Rinoa and Raine to stay in Esthar. In the other end of the line, Laguna Loire- President of Esthar and my father- was trying to hold up a conversation with me while yelling at Odine for bringing another one of his creations into his office.
"So it's okay if Rinoa and Raine stay with you?" I asked. The commotion in the background was dreadfully noisy and sounded like a mixture between the loud drone of the Ragnarok's engines and the barking of a dog, settling somewhere between the two.
"Yeah, yeah, sure" replied Laguna, "have the Ragnarok bring them over to the palace and I'll- Hyne, Odine, did ya have to bring that thing in here?- Sorry, Squall, give me two seconds- Get that thing out of here!!!"
Muffled yell from Laguna at a distance from the phone. I laughed outright as I pictured the awful scene: Odine with his huge outrageous collar trying to fix the gears in whatever new toy he was playing with, Laguna flailing his arms around attempting to get the contraption out of his office, while Kiros and Ward merely look on in bored amusement.
A quiet voice came through the phone:
"Squall? This is Kiros. Sorry about your dad, but as you've probably guessed he's a bit tied up at the moment."
"Yeah," -I had to stop myself from laughing again- "so, can Rinoa and Raine stay in Esthar?"
"Absolutely," he replied, "they'll have to stay in the palace for security reasons, of course."
"Thanks, Kiros. Say goodbye to my dad for me, will you?"
"Sure thing."
A muffled thump, then the voice of Laguna yelling through the drone of the machine:
"No, not through the window for God's sake, Odine!"
A crash, a smashing of glass, obscenities from Odine and Laguna, and then the phone being put down. Silence.
I sighed. Esthar was the safest place to send my family, but I seriously wondered what kept Laguna in power sometimes, he was so disorganised. But, at fifty-four years old, he was still a good leader and his people loved him. As his son, I was proud of him.
So the arrangements were made. Rinoa and Raine would be sent to Esthar, but I would stay behind and try to figure out who was behind all this.