A/N: Here we are, my loyal readers! In which we see Jenny dealing, or not dealing as the case may be, with her diagnosis, Gibbs and DiNozzo get a horrific case, and Carly helps Jenny deal with her pain.
Shepard
In the weeks following her diagnosis, Jenny Shepard found herself struggling to admit that it had, in fact, happened. She largely ignored it, going about her work days as she always had, deliberately dodging the subject every time Gibbs or Carly attempted to discuss it. She knew that Carly had been having a difficult time coping with the news and Jenny had taken it upon herself to shield her from the days that were anything less than normal. She said nothing about the increasingly frequent dizzy spells, about the way her body protested even the smallest movements, or the nearly-overwhelming exhaustion that threatened to make her stay in bed for days on end.
She knew, somewhere in the back of her mind, that she couldn't continue going on as she was, but she was determined to bury that admission as far down as she could for as long as possible. She hadn't decided yet if she was going to make an official announcement to her colleagues, but she knew that she would eventually have to confide in Ducky. He seemed to have an uncanny ability to see right through her anyway, so she reasoned that there was no real point in trying to hide it from him.
Still, she didn't know quite how to approach the matter yet and so she kept her health to herself, locking herself in her office as much as possible and avoiding Gibbs' stern glances when she was in the same room. Work aside, their home environment had grown more than a little tense once Gibbs had realised that she didn't intend on acknowledging the diagnosis after they'd told Carly, and while she knew she deserved it, she found it difficult to deal with his silence.
It really shouldn't have come as a surprise when Gibbs cornered her in her office late one evening just as she was preparing to head to MTAC, his eyes glaring at her after he'd glanced at his watch.
"Do you have any idea how late it is?"
She sighed, shaking her head.
"Yes, I'm well aware. Just as I'm sure you're aware that this job doesn't end just because the sun has gone down."
His glare only increased and when he refused to step away from the door, she rolled her eyes.
"I know that you're worried, but—"
"And yet you don't seem to give a damn," he said coldly, "I told you once before that I wasn't going to stand around and watch you self-destruct. Different situation, same result. If you won't start taking care of yourself, don't expect me to."
Jenny felt her own anger beginning to rise, though she knew that he was completely in the right, and she fought to keep her voice under control as she spoke again.
"This is entirely different and—"
"Is it? You're working around the clock, you barely eat, you don't sleep, and I can see your hands shaking from right here. You can't ignore this, Jen. Eventually, you're going to push yourself too far and then what will happen? Is this job really worth your life if you can prevent it?"
She said nothing, trying to sort through her own tumultuous emotions, and when she glanced down at her hands, she saw that he was right.
"I know you want to do your best. I know that you feel like you have to be perfect. But you don't, Jen. No one is perfect and if you keep going at this rate, none of that will matter anyway. If you die because you didn't listen your body, to your doctors, this job will replace you before your funeral even happens."
As much as she hated to admit it, Jenny knew that Gibbs was telling her the truth, and she blinked, fighting against the tears that had gathered in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I know you're right, but...I just thought that if I ignored it, maybe it wouldn't be true. I...I don't..."
She trailed off, unsure of what she'd been about to say, and Gibbs stepped forward, pulling her into his arms tightly.
"It's okay, Jen," he said quietly, running his fingers through her slightly tangled hair.
"I'm scared, Jethro."
As hard as she tried, Jenny couldn't stop the way her voice broke, her grip on his jacket tightening, and he kissed her hair.
"I know," he whispered, "but I've got you, Jen. We'll get through this together. You, me, and Carly."
She smiled a bit at the mention of their daughter, and nodded, running her hand under her eyes.
"I hope you're right."
"When aren't I?" he said jokingly.
Jenny laughed, looking up at him, and as he kissed her, she ran her shaking hand through his hair slowly.
"I love you."
"I love you, too. Now, let's go home."
A single nod was the only answer.
Gibbs
As soon as they walked through the door, Gibbs was immediately hit with the aroma of something delicious and when he entered the kitchen, he wasn't at all surprised to see Carly standing in front of the counter, two forks in her hands as she leaned over the slow cooker. She smiled at him when she noticed him standing in the room and he returned it easily, happy to see that she was in such a good mood.
"Smells amazing in here."
"Thanks," she replied as she began shredding the food in the cooker, "It's chicken in a garlic cream sauce with angel hair pasta and garlic bread."
She glanced over his shoulder and frowned, placing the lid on the slow cooker before she spoke.
"Where's Mom?"
He frowned, sure that Jenny had been right behind him, and when he took a few steps back to look in the living room, he saw that she was curled up on the couch, wrapped in a soft blanket, her breathing slow and even. He smiled somewhat sadly, happy that she was getting some much-needed rest, but wishing it was for a different reason, and made his way back to the kitchen.
"She's sleeping on the couch. It's been a long week already and she's been working a lot."
"Too much," Carly muttered, "She's going to make herself worse if she doesn't slow down."
Gibbs nodded, looking at her seriously.
"I know. We had a discussion about that before we left work. Probably the only reason she agreed to come home."
"What did you say to her?"
He shrugged, walking over to the refrigerator and pulling out a beer.
"Told her that I wasn't going to watch her self-destruct. That if she didn't start taking this seriously, I wouldn't stick around to watch."
Carly frowned, her eyes watching him closely as he sat down at the table.
"You don't mean that. You'd never leave her like that."
"Probably not, but it got the point across."
The sudden beeping of Carly's phone caused her to jump and when she smiled at him, he felt as though all his problems had vanished.
"Dinner's ready. Should I go get Mom?"
He shook his head, pushing back his chair.
"I'll wake her up. You just start putting all that delicious food on plates."
Carly laughed, nodding at him once.
"You got it, Dad."
As he leaned down to wake Jenny from her nap, Gibbs was suddenly hit with a wave of realising just how truly beautiful she was, and he smiled as he brushed her hair away from her face. She moved slightly at his touch, though her eyes stayed closed, and when he knelt down in front of the couch, he shook her shoulder gently.
"Jen, wake up," he said softly, not wanting to startle her, "Carly made dinner."
She nodded to show that she'd heard him, but made no attempt to get up, and he frowned, feeling slightly concerned. He waited for a moment to see if she would move on her own and when she stayed still, he tapped her shoulder lightly.
"Do you want to just sleep or do you want to try eating?"
She moved slowly, sitting up somewhat groggily, and when she blinked up at him, he could feel the exhaustion radiating from her body. He held out his hand to help her up from the couch and when she stood, she swayed slightly, her eyes tightly closed.
"You okay?"
She nodded.
"Just a bit dizzy," she muttered, shaking her head slowly.
"If you'd rather sleep, we ca—"
"No," she interrupted him gently, "Little One went to all the trouble of cooking, I haven't seen her much lately, I don't want to miss out on it."
She stepped away from him, her steps careful, and when they joined Carly in the kitchen a minute later, she gave the younger girl a small smile.
"You did all this?"
Carly smiled, nodding as she gestured for them to sit.
"I wanted to make something special. I know you've both had pretty stressful days the past few weeks and it gave me an excuse to try out a new recipe."
Jenny smiled as she sat down at the place Carly had set for her, but Gibbs could see even in the dim light just how pale her skin had become. Her hands were shaking violently as she tried to pick up the pasta with her fork and when he glanced at Carly from the corner of his eye, he knew she'd noticed it as well. It took her longer than usual, but she finally managed to get a fair amount of food on the tines of her fork and when she placed it into her mouth, she gave Carly a warm look.
"You might want to re-think your career choice, Little One. You could be a chef if you wanted to. This is amazing."
Carly smiled, though Gibbs could see the worry in her eyes, but he had to give her credit: her voice gave nothing away as she answered.
"Thanks, Mom. I was a little worried that the sauce wouldn't thicken up right, but it turned out okay."
"Much better than okay. I'm definitely taking this to work for lunch tomorrow."
If he'd known how his week was going to go, Gibbs would have appreciated the bright smile on Jenny's face much more as they finished their meal.
It wasn't often that Team DiNozzo worked with Team Gibbs on a case, but when the younger team leader called Gibbs over to his desk late one evening, he knew it must have been serious. He made his way closer, leaning onto the smooth surface, a look of concentration on his face.
"Gibbs, you might want to pull up a chair for this one. I haven't watched it yet, but the description of the crime is pretty violent."
Gibbs frowned.
"What is it?"
"This is video footage found on an online server. Basically, what it does is when you film something on your phone, this server automatically saves it as a backup file for circumstances like if you lose your phone, it gets stolen, or in this case, if it's broken. It also works with portable cameras, which is what appears to have been used in this instance. Kind of like a body camera that law enforcement wear."
"And what exactly is the video of?"
"That's the violent part. From what I've been able to gather, two teenagers were murdered and this footage captured the murders from their perspectives. The victims were reported to be a new Marine recruit, nineteen-year-old Dylan Averitt and his girlfriend, eighteen-year-old Hannah Miller. The bodies were discovered by hikers in the woods near the Anacostia earlier today. Averitt was due to show up for basic training next week."
Though he knew there was no way in hell he was prepared for what he was about to see, Gibbs nodded, giving DiNozzo the go-ahead to play the video. The screen was filled with static for a moment before a young man's face came into focus, followed by a young girl's laughter.
"Dylan, say hi to my parents."
The young man waved half-heartedly to the camera, which made her laugh again, and as they began walking up a path that Gibbs recognised from his own walks in the area, Hannah began narrating their moves, documenting their trip for what he assumed was a video message for her parents wherever they lived. His military instincts told him that it was far more likely that Hannah was documenting it for herself in the event that Dylan were to be sent overseas, but since it wasn't pertinent to their case, he said nothing.
The picture was darker than he would have liked due to the setting sun, but he was still able to make out their movements, could still determine their location based on the surroundings, and when the camera picked up shadows in the far right corner, he frowned. There was no way of knowing whether or not Hannah had noticed it, but if she had, she didn't call attention to it. The snapping of a branch out of frame made them both turn, and though it was dark, Gibbs could clearly make out the shape of someone standing slightly in the distance.
"Hi," Hannah called, her voice soft but curious, "Can we help you?"
The person said nothing, but took a step closer, and Gibbs could tell Dylan had moved closer to Hannah just from the proximity of his voice.
"Do you need help or something? Can we call someone for you?"
Though he tried, Gibbs couldn't make out any defining features of the person in front of them and he frowned as he realised that they were wearing a facial covering. The figure moved suddenly, picking up a large rock from the ground and Gibbs jumped slightly at the scream that came from behind the camera. Hannah knelt down next to Dylan's unconscious body, trying unsuccessfully to wake him, and when she seemed to realise it was futile, she began running, her voice breaking as she called for help. Her screams were cut abruptly short as she was struck from behind and landed on the ground with a quiet thud.
The camera feed was dark for a long moment, but the sound of branches and rocks underneath Hannah's body could be heard as she was pulled along the ground. McGee, sitting in the chair by his own desk, flinched when the sound of Dylan's screaming could be heard but not seen and when Hannah's screams joined his, Gibbs found himself fighting the urge to close his eyes. He couldn't tell exactly what had happened, but judging by the angle of the camera, Hannah's body appeared to be upright and quite a few feet from the ground.
She coughed as the sound of splashing liquid filled the feed and when she began screaming again, Kate jumped in her chair.
"Please! Please don't do this! We'll do anything you want, we won't tell anyone about this! Please, please just let us go!"
Hannah's voice broke as she tried desperately to beg for her life, and when the camera finally landed on Dylan's body, it took all of Gibbs' self control to keep from vomiting. There was a large wooden fence post protruding from the young man's back, impaling him and effectively keeping him in place, and as liquid was thrown on his body and face, he began screaming, calling Hannah's name as he tried in vain to escape.
"I'm so sorry, Hannah. I love you."
Hannah began sobbing again, alternating between telling him how much she loved him and begging for their lives, and when bright light filled the screen, Dylan began to scream. Bright flames began to make their way up their bodies and as Hannah's screams grew louder, the video suddenly stopped.
Gibbs had never felt more sickened than he did at that moment and he glanced at DiNozzo, who was paler than he'd ever seen, his hands gripping his desk so tightly that his fingers were pure white.
"When—when are the bodies arriving?" Kate asked quietly, her voice verging on tears.
DiNozzo didn't answer and Gibbs shook his head, trying to make sense of her question.
"We can ask Ducky if he's gotten anything," Ziva pointed out.
It shouldn't have surprised him that the former Mossad agent wasn't outwardly affected by what they'd seen, but even Gibbs was having difficulty comprehending it. He nodded once, glancing at both teams before he stood up.
"Do it. Get this video to Abby and make sure you warn her about what it is."
"Where are you going?" Kate asked, her voice still shaky.
"I'm going to let Director Shepard know what we're dealing with. We're going to need both teams on this one."
Gibbs began walking towards the steps, trying to ignore the shaking in his legs, hoping with everything he had that they would support him long enough to make it to Jenny's office.
Thankfully, Jenny was merely replying to various emails when he opened the door to her office, though he did so with much less enthusiasm than he'd ever done before. She glanced up at him, holding up a finger to signal that she'd be with him in a minute, and when she stopped typing, she gave him a smile that he didn't have the strength to return.
"Pretty late in the day for an office visit, don't you think?"
He said nothing, trying to figure out the best way to explain their latest case, and when she noticed that something was off in his demeanour, she frowned, her eyes locking on his worriedly.
"Jethro, what's wrong?"
"We just got a case. Or rather, DiNozzo got a case."
"Yes?"
"He's gonna need help on it. Both teams."
Jenny nodded, but the concerned look in her eyes never wavered.
"Okay. You know I'll need to be briefed on it and I'll need reports from everyone on the team."
Gibbs nodded once and sighed, unable to meet her gaze.
"There's video evidence in this one."
"That's good. It should help us find who was responsible. Send me copies of everything you have and I'll make sure it gets filed properly."
"I'll have McGee send it, but Jen..."
He took a deep breath, finally raising his eyes to hers, willing her to understand.
"Don't watch the video."
She frowned.
"It's part of my job to review everything in the files to make sure nothing has been tampered with or—"
"Don't," he repeated, his voice serious, "Please."
"What is it?"
"Two teens, one was a new recruit to the Marines. They were found in the woods, murdered. Brutally. Video caught everything until the device was destroyed."
"Someone broke the camera? That means that they were shown on camera, so it should make it easier to identify—"
"No. The murderer wore all black, face covered, gloves...and they didn't break it. The camera caught on fire."
"Caught on fire?" Jenny repeated, shaking her head in confusion, "How—"
Gibbs sighed, sitting down in the chair opposite her desk, his body grateful to no longer be standing on legs that were feeling more than a little weak.
"They were impaled, Jen. Looked like wood used to make a fence, through their backs...doused with gasoline and burned alive. Video stopped after the flames torched the camera the girl was wearing. They were hiking and she had one of those hands-free cameras..."
Jenny stared at him and he could tell she was hoping, praying, that he'd been lying, but the way her eyes lingered on his face, he knew she believed him.
"She was Carly's age," he whispered, "Kelly's age...She had her whole life ahead of her. Likely just wanted to spend a weekend hiking with her boyfriend in case he was deployed. Wanted a cute little video to look back on when she missed him and now..."
He could feel Jenny watching him, knew she was trying to think of the right thing to say, and when she reached across the desk to take his hand, he blinked in surprise.
"Tell your team to go home for the night. DiNozzo's too. I want them all to make an appointment with a psychiatrist if they feel they need it and then you can go talk to Ducky to see if the bodies have arrived yet. I'm guessing not, but I know you like to keep busy and I have a few more things to do before I leave. You're welcome to leave after you talk to the teams and I can get my driver to take me home if you'd rather."
He shook his head, grateful that she'd recognised that he would need to have something to do to keep from losing his mind until they had more to go on, and gave her a tired look
"I'll be here when you're ready to leave."
After delivering Jenny's messages to both his team and DiNozzo's and begrudgingly instructing McGee to send Jenny all the files they'd received , Gibbs made his way slowly down to autopsy, hoping the Scottish doctor hadn't left for the night. Much to his relief, he was still there, though he'd already removed his lab coat, and he gave the younger man a smile as he walked into the sterile room.
"Jethro! Good evening! I was just about to close up shop for the night. What can I do for you?"
Gibbs sighed, looking at the doctor sadly.
"We just got a case and you're going to get two bodies probably early tomorrow morning. Going to be badly burned. I need you to let either me or DiNozzo know immediately if there's anything that jumps out at you as being unusual or that could help us identify the person responsible."
Ducky nodded, his expression somewhat confused as he looked at him.
"Of course, Jethro. You always have my word on that. Is there something different about this case?"
"The murders were captured on video, but the person responsible kept their face and body covered. Someone set out to do this, it wasn't an accident. It was planned, thought out, timed perfectly so as to not be overheard. We have to find them as soon as we possibly can so that it doesn't happen again and we need to find out why."
The Scottish doctor frowned, meeting Gibbs' bright blue eyes slowly, almost as if he were afraid of the answer to his next question.
"How old were the victims?"
"Nineteen-year-old male, eighteen-year-old female. Dylan Averitt and Hannah Miller. He was due to start basic next week."
"I'll let you both know as soon as I have anything that could be of use."
"Thanks, Duck. Go home, get some rest. We're gonna need it."
Less than twenty minutes later, Gibbs found himself walking back up to Jenny's office, fully preparing to carry her out of the building if needed, but when he opened her door, he knew it wouldn't be necessary. One glance at her pale skin and shaking hands told him all he needed to know and as he walked closer, he could see tears shining in her bright green eyes as she stared at her computer screen. He'd known she would watch the video, knew that her job required it, but he'd hoped that just this once she would have heeded his warning and gone against protocol. He'd also known how unfair that request had been, understanding all too well just how important it was that she follow policy to the letter, but he wished that he could have spared her.
She didn't say anything as he walked around her desk to stand next to her chair, and when he offered her his hand, she took it slowly, her icy fingers closing around his tightly. She pulled herself to her feet, but it took less than fifteen seconds for her legs to give way beneath her, sending her tumbling into his chest, her fingers gripping his jacket. He knew that she would have never allowed anyone else to see her this way, save for Ducky and possibly Tony DiNozzo, and when she took a breath it, he could feel her entire body shaking.
"How could someone do that, Jethro?"
"I don't know, Jenny. I tried to warn—"
"I know that," she snapped, her voice suddenly angry as she stepped back to look at him, "but I don't have the luxury of ignoring evidence that needs to be reviewed, no matter how violent it may be! I have a job to do and like it or not, I can't pick and choose the parts of it that I want to do! I know you meant well and I appreciate that sentiment, but even if I weren't Director, even if you hadn't accepted the job, I would have seen it. If I'd still been in charge of the MCRT, it would have come to me, not Tony. In our line of work, I can't afford to be sentimental and emotional. I can't let my personal feelings affect the way I do my job."
"And yet you still do," he said before he could stop himself.
She frowned, turning from where she'd been pacing the floor of her office so quickly that her hair nearly hit her in the face.
"What?"
"You were the one who nearly beat a suspect to death when he murdered children, you were the one that DiNozzo had to pull off of that same suspect and snap you out of it. You're the one who threatened to push a suspect down an elevator shaft. In front of your former Director, I might add. You were the one they forced to take time off to get yourself calmed DiNozzo, not McGee, you. Or did you forget that?"
"Of course I didn't, but—"
"You can't deny those things happened. I was there, Jen. I remember it all. You say that you can't afford to get emotional or let sentimentality get to you, but have you ever thought that it's precisely that part of you that makes you so good? If you didn't give a damn, you wouldn't push so hard for answers. You were a damn good agent and an even better Director, but it's because of your emotions, not in spite of them."
"I can't let that happen anymore," she said, pacing again as she often did when she was stressed, "It might have worked to my advantage when I was out in the field, but I'm held to a higher standard now, Jethro. I can't let people see when cases or personal life gets to me."
"No one here but me, Jen," he pointed out, "and I would never sell you out. I've got your six. And I damn sure wouldn't judge you for being human."
He made his way back to the other side of the desk, stopping her frantic pacing, and when he tilted her face up so that he could better see her eyes, he gave her a soft kiss.
"You don't have to always be Director Shepard," he said gently, "Not with me. I love you even when you're just Jenny. And that is never going to change."
Shepard
No matter how many times she tried to push it from her mind, Jenny simply couldn't stop herself from thinking about the case video she'd seen, and as she sat cross-legged on the bed to meditate, she found that she couldn't concentrate. Every time she closed her eyes, she could hear Hannah Miller's terrified screams, could see the flames consuming her body, and she took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. Twenty minutes later, she finally admitted defeat and ventured down the steps to the living room where Carly was reading on the couch, her long hair slightly covering the page she was on.
"Hey, Little One."
"Oh, hey. What's up?"
"Are you studying or just reading?"
"Just reading. I took a break from studying a few hours ago. Something wrong?"
Jenny shook her head, smiling reassuringly.
"Nope, just wondering if you wanted to watch a movie with me while we wait for Dad to bring dinner home."
They had opted for Chinese takeout that night, neither Gibbs nor Jenny feeling confident that their stomachs would be able to handle anything heavier, and Carly frowned for a moment, thinking.
"What did you have in mind?"
"Hadn't thought about it."
Carly smiled, pushing her hair back from her face as she nodded.
"Let me finish this chapter and then I'll be right up. Sound good?"
Jenny nodded, making her way back up the stairs. Even though her body seemed to be protesting every movement she made, she wanted nothing more than to curl up with her favourite girl and watch something light to drive away the darkness that had taken up residence in her mind.
When Gibbs ventured up from the basement an hour later, he found Jenny and Carly curled up together on the bed, Jenny's fingers slowly twisting their daughter's long hair into intricate braids as Carly popped pieces of popcorn into her mouth, both of them seemingly unaware of his presence. He cleared his throat quietly, causing them to look in his direction, and as he sat down on the mattress, he gave them both a smile.
"Having a girls night?"
"Why? Feeling left out?" Carly asked jokingly.
"If it would make you feel better, we could always braid your hair. Wouldn't be easy, but I think I could manage it," Jenny offered with a smile.
He shook his head and underneath the outwardly calm demeanour, Jenny could tell that there was something on his mind, and when she finished braiding the last section of Carly's hair, she gave her a light hug.
"Hey, Little One, can you give us a minute?"
Carly nodded.
"Sure. I'm out of soda anyway."
As soon as they were alone, Jenny raised her eyebrow in question, waiting for him to speak.
"Feeling okay?"
She nodded.
"I'm a little tired, but it's not unbearable. Why do you ask?"
He moved closer, looking at her intently, and it was almost enough to make her uncomfortable.
"Got a bruise on your leg. Pretty big one."
Frowning, Jenny followed his gaze to her right thigh where, sure enough, a large bruise had formed, though she didn't remember doing anything that would have caused such a thing. She touched it experimentally, happy that at least it wasn't painful, and shrugged.
"No idea how that happened. Doesn't hurt, though."
Gibbs nodded, but there was still a look of concern in his eyes.
"You still look pretty pale."
"Jethro, I'm an Irish redhead. That's kind of our default look," she reminded him warmly.
"I know, but...with what happened at work, I'm just worried that—"
"Don't be," she assured him gently, "If it starts to be too much, I'll put some distance between me and work."
She could tell that he didn't entirely believe her, but she reached out to run slightly shaking fingers through his hair, bringing her lips to his in a soft kiss.
"I love you, Jethro. But you worry too much."
As soon as she opened her eyes, Jenny felt as though her entire body had been dipped in acid and lit on fire, and she moaned quietly at the sound of the alarm. Gibbs turned it off quickly, swinging his feet over the edge of the bed and making his way to the hallway, no doubt intent on finding the strongest cup of coffee known to mankind. Jenny took a deep breath, trying to will her body to move, and she closed her eyes in pain as she pushed herself up with her hands. It took her much longer than she expected to raise herself to an upright position and she was still trying to breathe through the pain when Gibbs returned to the bedroom a few moments later.
Though her eyes were closed, she could practically see the look of confusion on his face when he said her name, and she slowly opened them, blinking back tears.
"What is it?"
"I don't know," she answered truthfully, "I just...everything feels like I've been hit by a train or something. Even breathing hurts. It's like...you know how you get that feeling of pins and needles after your foot falls asleep and then the blood starts to flow again?"
Gibbs nodded, placing his coffee cup on the bedside table before sitting carefully next to her.
"That's what my entire body feels like. Every time I move, it gets worse."
"Do you want to go to a hospital or t—"
"No," Jenny said abruptly, "I don't. They're just going to tell me what I already know and that would just be a waste of time. I think I just need to stay as still as possible for as long as I can."
"I can call Cynthia for you if you want. Do you want me to stay with you?"
Jenny shook her head slowly, her eyes meeting his seriously.
"No. I want you to find the bastard that killed Hannah Miller and Dylan Averitt. You can call if there are any major updates and I can still check my email from here."
Gibbs considered her words and for a moment, she was sure he would refuse, but he merely nodded, leaning over to kiss her gently.
"Call if you need anything. Or if you can't reach me, you can call Jack."
Jenny smiled, nodding as she reached carefully for her phone.
"I will. Be safe."
"Always am. I love you."
"I love you, too."
It had nearly killed Jenny's spirit to call Cynthia's desk and tell her to cancel her meetings for the day, but it had been even more difficult to call Ducky to ask for any updates on the MCRT's case. She still hadn't told anyone at work about her diagnosis, but she'd already planned on confiding in the doctor, so she was forced to admit that the moment had suddenly presented itself.
"Autopsy."
"Hello, Ducky."
"Jennifer! Good morning, my dear. How are you today?"
"Not well," she admitted, "I'm calling you from bed, actually."
"Bed? Is something wrong? Are you ill?"
Jenny sighed, wincing as she reached for the cup of water that she'd managed to (literally) crawl downstairs for as soon as Gibbs had left for work.
"In a manner of speaking. Ducky, can I trust you with something that is need-to-know at present?"
"My dear, I'm hurt that you even felt the need to ask. Of course you can."
She laughed and immediately regretted it, pain shooting through her entire body at the movement.
"Fair enough. A few weeks ago, Jethro and I went with Carly and a few friends out to see a show and I passed out at the bar. I wasn't drunk, hadn't eaten anything strange, it happened out of nowhere. Anyway, the doctors ran about a million tests and they told me that I have multiple scelrosis. The symptoms come and go, but most days I can manage pretty well, at least for now. The doctors have warned me that as it progresses, I could start having more bad days than good and I might eventually have to even think about a different job, but..."
"Oh, Jennifer...I am so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?"
"Not physically. I'm keeping it under wraps for now, basically until I have no choice, but I knew there was no reason to try hiding it from you. You've always had a remarkable way of seeing through my bullshit."
Ducky laughed and the sound was so warm that Jenny could almost feel it rippling down the phone line.
"You are quite right. However, you will likely be able to keep your job. Just remember thar it isn't a death sentence. You'll likely have to scale back the hours you work, but as long as you listen to your body and don't push yourself too far, you should have no trouble."
"Ducky, you have no idea how much I needed to hear that," she admitted, "I've been panicking internally since I found out. It just sounds so...fatal."
"I agree that it can be quite the emotional blow," the doctor agreed, "but you've got a wonderful support system and we're all here to help in any way we can."
"Thank you," she said sincerely, "so much. Anyway, do you have any kind of update on the case that Gibbs and DiNozzo are currently working?"
"Not much, I'm afraid. I've only just started my examination. All of the surface injuries coincide with the video that was sent over by the authorities. I'll send you everything in an email later if you'd like?"
Jenny quickly agreed, and after a few more moments of small talk with the doctor, she hung up her phone, trying (and failing) to catch the device as it slipped from her shaking hand. She muttered a few curse words as she carefully picked it up from the floor, thankful that it hadn't sustained any damage, and as she reached for the book she'd started reading a few days ago, she sighed. This was going to be a long day.
Two hours before Gibbs was due to leave the office, Carly came crashing through the front door, much louder than Jenny had expected her to be, and as her footsteps thundered up the stairs, Jenny winced at the sound.
"Hey, Little One?" she called quietly.
The bedroom door opened, revealing a very confused Carly, and she frowned as she made her way closer.
"Mom? What are you doing home? Is everything okay?"
"I wasn't feeling well," Jenny said, "What's with all the noise?"
Carly's face immediately lit up, her smile so bright that for a moment, Jenny forgot all about the pain in her body.
"I passed my tests! Every single one of them! A few of them were a little lower than I hoped for, but I passed!"
Jenny smiled, reaching up to hug her, and kissed her cheek warmly.
"I'm so proud of you, Carly. You've done so well."
"Thanks! I get to start shadowing that therapist that works with Nikki next week!'
"That's great! We'll have to have a cake or something to celebrate."
Carly hugged her again, bouncing from the room, and Jenny frowned when she realised that her water cup was empty. Sighing, she swung her legs slowly over the edge of the bed, crawling across the floor and when her hand slipped out from underneath her, she swore, closing her eyes in pain. The reality of her situation hit her suddenly and she felt angry tears spring to her eyes.
"Mom, are you okay?"
Carly was by her side in an instant, kneeling down on the ground and Jenny shook her head in frustration.
"Here, let me help yo—"
"No!" Jenny snapped, harsher than she meant to, "I can do this. I'm perfectly capable of getting my own glass of water."
"Mom, I just—"
"Leave me alone, Carly! I have to do this!"
Carly flinched slightly at her harsh tone, but stayed where she was.
"Why? Why do you have to do this? It's okay to ask for help sometimes, you know."
Carly's voice was gentle, so unbearably gentle, and Jenny couldn't stop the tears from spilling down her face and dripping onto the hardwood floor.
"Because I'm stronger than this! I'm not some pathetic little invalid that's too weak to take care of herself! I h-have to do this on my own, Carly...I have to..."
Carly wrapped her arms around her, hugging her so tightly that it seemed she was trying to quite literally hold her together, and she felt the gentle press of her lips against her hair.
"You're right about one thing, Mom. You're not weak, but you don't always have to do things alone. I love you and I want to help you. So please, let me help you."
The tears that fell from Jenny's eyes soaked into Carly's shoulder, staining her strawberry-blonde hair a deeper hue, and though she hated to admit it, Jenny realised that, for better or worse, Carly might actually be right. Maybe she didn't have to do this alone. Maybe, just maybe, she could accept the help and love that was being so purely offered and keep herself in the process. She could do that, couldn't she? Of course she could...
...right?
A/N: Songs used as inspiration for this chapter:
Under Ice and Waking The Witch by Kate Bush
Hope you enjoyed!