A/N: All right, another chapter up and done with. I know I make the pilots OOC sometimes but trust me, it's necessary. And it's not as bad as some of the stuff out there; you have to admit (not to brag or anything). So yeah, criticize all you like cuz it helps. And when I said in the last chapter that Usagi was going to stay as long as the pilots wanted her, it was spur of the moment on her part. She wasn't thinking about her situation, just that they needed her. Anyway, enough boring dribble. On with the chapter. (Sorry if it's not up to par with the rest of my work, I wrote it in a rush.)
Usagi walked the hallways of Quatre's mansion with an air of self-confidence. She had watched the other pilots countless times as they lost themselves in Quatre's mansions. It had been quite humorous the time Wufei had gotten lost. He had run up and down the halls, jumping up to see out through the tall windows into the gardens. At one point he had sat on the floor and yelled at the top of his lungs until someone had finally found him. That someone had been Trowa. Trowa was always there when someone needed help. Sighing in content she walked over to one of the open balconies and leaned on the marble railing, watching the sun as it began to set on the horizon. It was truly a beautiful sight to behold, one that showed how mighty God truly was. With a smile she looked up, shutting her eyes as the presence of God washed over her, comforting her.
"Why am I here Lord? What is it that I am to do?" The light fall breeze blew through her hair, ruffling it slightly. Opening her eyes she stared at the colorful clouds above her.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Inwardly she jumped. She should have known better than to let her guard down. Turning her head to him she smiled, not realizing she was blushing. He looked at her from his spot against the railing, his dark eyes hiding the secrets of his past. Turning her gaze back to the darkening sky she sighed and shut her eyes, basking in the last warmth of the sun.
"God's love for His creations never ceases to amaze me." When her silent comrade snorted she turned to him in dismay.
"There is no God. If there was we wouldn't be in our situations." The look in her eyes told him he had gone too far.
"If you believe there is no God, then I do not exist." Reaching out she grasped his hand in hers, startling him as she put it over her heartbeat. "If my heart beats, then I live. If I live, there is a God. There's no way around it. How can you look at the world around you, have moments like this," she waved with her free hand at the colorful sky, "and not believe that He is real? I don't understand."
She released his hand and leaned on the rail again, staring at the bright orange globe as it reached the horizon and began to disappear. He watched her for a long moment, attempting to catch his breath. She was different, and it scared him. She was pure, innocent, and beautiful. He, along with the others, was tainted, scarred and hideous. Their pasts proved it over and over again, day after day. How could she look up when things only seemed to look down? In a way she reminded him of Duo, the ever-optimistic pilot. And there was a bit of Trowa and Quatre as well. She had Trowa's silent, strong demeanor and Quatre's everlasting kindness.
"When I was little, they taught me He wasn't real, told me it was all a lie. Told me that the only way to survive was by instinct and instinct alone. Now I don't know what to believe." She smiled, jokingly punching him in the jaw as she walked away.
"Look at what's around you Hiiro, examine what has happened and then figure it out." With that she walked away, her long hair billowing out behind her. Hiiro stared after her, wondering why his heart was beating so fast. What was happening to him?
This feeling, whenever she was around him it always happened. What he didn't know was what it was. What was he feeling? Frowning to himself he stared at the horizon, replaying her words in his mind. He knew by the blood test and by his own sight that she was an angel, that was plainly obvious. So, if angels existed, didn't that mean that there had to be a God? But if there was a God, why was she here instead of with Him? Why was the universe suffering if He was real? It just didn't make sense. Thinking of how he could access the information he needed he thought back to the time he had been in Trowa's room to give him breakfast when he had been wounded. There had been a black, leather bound book next to him. That's what he needed to get his answers—a Bible.
Duo watched as she exited her room, now dressed in a white, long sleeved dress. It was identical to the one he had seen her in only with sleeves. He hated her. He hated her for taking the only family he had ever truly had away from him. As she walked down the hall she stopped and stood still, gazing ahead of her. Her shoulders slumped as her head lowered.
"Please Duo, talk to me." His eyes widened in surprise. "I don't want you to stay mad at me forever." Frowning he stepped out of his room, crossing his arms as she turned to him. He hated her with such a passion it hurt. When she looked at him he found that his heart skipped a beat. Her eyes were haunted with emotions he had never seen before in his life.
"Why are you here? Are you going to take them away from me too?" The pained expression on her face made him regret his harsh words.
"No Duo, I'm here because I made a mistake." He noticed that when she looked down she appeared to have her wings, invisible in their appearance. Yet upon closer inspection he saw they truly weren't there. Frowning once more he reminded himself of why he hated her. Yet, the more he thought about it the more he realized he truly didn't hate her.
"What might that have been? Forgetting to take yet another innocent life?" He regretted his words once more as he saw the tears in her eyes. She looked up at him, her love for them showing in her eyes.
"No, protecting all of you." With that she took a shuddering breath and turned to leave. Duo was about to go after her when he felt a painfully strong grip on his arm. To say he was shocked would have been an understatement when he saw who was hurting him. Wufei scowled so ferociously at him he wanted to dig himself a grave right then and there. In a tone so low that even he could barely hear it Wufei spoke.
"Don't you ever speak to her like that again or I swear I'll kill you. How dare you accuse her like that! She is nothing but pure innocence corrupted by our life style. You idiot!" Shoving Duo back against the wall he stormed past him, not noticing how pale the braided man had become.
For a moment Duo stood with his back pressed against his bedroom door, wondering where Wufei had come from. More so, he wondered when he had begun to accept 'weak onnas' as he often put it. Why was Usagi different? Placing the back of his head on the door he began to bang it, shutting his eyes at the dull pain that radiated from each hit. What was with him? Why couldn't he just talk to her, forgive her? What if she really was one of God's angels? Would God hate him for ridiculing her? He honestly didn't know. Groaning he stepped back into his room and flopped onto his bed, allowing his mind to retrace every step he had taken that fateful day. And for the first time he allowed himself to remember every detail about her. Everything she had done that day, and everything she had said. As a tear rolled down his cheek he buried his face in his pillow, refusing to allow himself to cry. No, too many nights had already been spent crying for their souls. There was nothing he could do to change the fact that they were dead.
Quatre stopped in mid step as a soft sound came to his ears. He almost didn't hear it at first. Puzzled he glanced around the music room, searching for the source of the distressed sounds. That's when he saw her. She was huddled on the corner of the balcony, her knees drawn up to her chest and her face in her hands as he slender body shook with her silent sobs. With a pain in his heart he rushed over to her, kneeling by her side. Taking her in his arms he placed her head on his chest, placing his chin atop her head. It was then he noticed how fragile she was.
"I didn't want to let it happen, you must believe me! There was nothing I could do!" Her soft voice drifted up to his ears and he looked down at her, wondering what she was talking about. "I never wanted any of you to be hurt, I tried my best to stop all that I could. I couldn't protect you completely without disobeying God!" Another sob wracked her tiny form and he held her closer. He had never expected his tenshi to cry, never in a million years. She had always been the strong one. Maybe she had been sad, but he never even though about how she had been affected.
"Tenshi, what are you talking about? What happened that you couldn't stop?"
"Everything Quatre, everything. Your father dying, Trowa losing his memory, Duo losing Father Maxwell, all of it. I couldn't stop it from happening. I never wanted any of you to go to war; I would have done anything to keep you safe. You must believe me…" Her sobs had become soft hiccups and her little hands were gripping the front of his shirt and her eyes were puffy and red from crying. He couldn't help but wonder if she had ever cried before.
"I don't blame you Tenshi, there was no way you could have stopped any of this from happening. If anything you saved us." He lowered his voice, becoming timid. "I know for a fact that you saved me." Usagi looked up at him, her eyes slightly clearer with hope in their depths.
"Really?" He smiled tenderly, brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear before cupping her face in his hand.
"Really." He watched a smile appear on her face and felt his heart melt. Slowly he leaned forward, not sure what he was doing. Resting his forehead against hers he gazed into her eyes, seeing the child-like innocence that still remained in her. Smiling sadly to himself he kissed the tip of her nose, feeling his heart flutter as she giggled lightly.
"Winner! Where on Earth are you?" Wufei's booming voice caused Quatre to pull away abruptly, his cheeks stained red. As his form passed the doorway he paused and frowned.
"What is it Wufei?" Wufei walked up to him, silently fuming.
"Yui has gone insane. He's ripping apart the library searching for a Bible." Quatre's eyes widened as Usagi lit up with joy. With a burst of energy she bounced up.
"Really?" Wufei looked her over in curiosity and wonder.
"Yes, why?" Usagi giggled and embraced Wufei before running out the door for the library. Quatre followed close behind, hoping to stop Hiiro before he destroyed his pride and joy. Wufei was beyond perplexed as he raced after them.
Bursting into the library Usagi found Hiiro standing before a shelf of books, some scattered on the floor and some shoved to the side. With a laugh of joy she went to him and took him by surprise by wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him. Bewildered by the sudden contact Hiiro held on to her, not wanting to let her fall if she happened to let go. He listened to her musical laughter as it sent warm waves down his back.
"I knew it! I knew you'd figure it out!" Her giggle made him want to smile but he suppressed the urge as Quatre and Wufei came bounding into the room.
"What is going on here?" Wufei was the first to speak. Quatre stood dumbfounded as he caught sight of Hiiro and Usagi. She kissed his cheek before allowing him to set her down. As he did Quatre felt sick to his stomach. But why?
"He's looking for a Bible silly!"
Usagi stated it as if there was nothing out of the ordinary about. Hiiro gazed at the ground sheepishly, something that was new for all the pilots to see. Usagi clung to his arm in delight, practically bouncing with glee. As she looked at Quatre and smiled she watched his face go sour. He looked as if he had just been slapped. Worry overcame her as he turned on his heel and left the room, pain emanating from him. Usagi looked between the two remaining pilots for an answer only to see that they were as lost as she was.
"What did I do?"