Chapter 3 Kitty's Nightmare (Part 2)
"Where would you like Matt to be buried?" Doc asked, taking Kitty's hand in his.
"Matt and I have this private spot down by the river. The first time he took me there was when he made me the best doggonest stew I ever had. Those were his words and it was. We have picnics there and we go fishing. It's also where we like to," Kitty stopped speaking. She was pretty certain Doc knew what she was going to say.
"Alright, honey," said Doc. "We can bury Matt there, but you're going to have to show us where this place is."
"Doc, when my time comes, I want to be buried next to Matt. Promise me you'll make sure that happens," Kitty begged.
Doc was suddenly nervous. What was Kitty trying to tell him? Was she thinking about taking her life so she could be with Matt? He had already lost a son. He didn't want to lose a daughter.
"Kitty, you aren't thinking of doing anything drastic, are you?" Doc shakily asked.
"Don't worry, Doc." Kitty reassured him. "I'm not planning on taking my life, if that's what you're thinking."
Relief rushed through Doc's body as he let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "I just had to make sure. Losing Matt is bad enough. I didn't want to lose you too."
The funeral took place two days later. Many people attended. They couldn't believe their beloved Marshal Dillon was gone. He had done so much to make Dodge the safe place that it was. It seemed as though everyone that attended the funeral offered words of condolences to Kitty. They treated her like she was Matt's widow.
"I'm so sorry for your loss, Mrs. Dillon," said Thelma, a wife of a rancher. Seeing the look on Kitty's face, Thelma explained herself. "I know there was never a public wedding in Dodge, but I always thought you and the Marshal sneaked off and eloped."
Kitty smiled through her tears. She didn't want to correct Thelma. She was partially correct. They didn't have a public wedding, but she and Matt privately pledged their love to one another and expressly committed themselves to each other. "Thank you for your words."
After the funeral everyone left, except for Kitty and Doc. Kitty knelt by Matt's freshly dug grave. Doc stayed back by his buggy so he could give Kitty some privacy. He couldn't hear what she was saying, but knew she was saying something because her lips were moving. Doc figured she was talking to Matt.
"Hey, Cowboy," Kitty whispered. "I still can't fathom that you're no longer with me. I had you buried at our special spot. I'll try to come here as often as I can. I have to make sure your grave doesn't become overgrown by weeds. Anyway, I should get going. Doc is waiting for me. I love you."
Kitty stood up and took one last look at Matt's grave before she turned and walked away. Walking away was difficult. Kitty hated the fact that Matt's body was in the cold, hard ground. She hated leaving him there all alone, but she knew she couldn't stay there forever. Kitty met Doc at his buggy. The ride back to Dodge was a silent one.
The next day Kitty walked over to the jail. Nobody was there, but Kitty could hear Festus singing out back. She knew Matt kept some personal belongings there. One thing he kept there was a hunting knife. She had no use for a hunting knife, but she knew Matt would want Festus to have it. Kitty opened Matt's desk drawer and pulled out the knife.
"Mornin', Mizz Kitty," said Festus as he touched the tip of his hat. "Judgin' by that thar blue sky, I reckon it's gonna be mighty fine day. Is there somethin' I can do fer ya?"
"I just came to get some of Matt's personal items," Kitty replied. "I want you to have his hunting knife. He would also want you to have it." She handed Festus the knife.
"Golly bill, Mizz Kitty," said Festus as he accepted the knife. "I don't know what ta say. I'm much obliged."
Kitty walked over to the tall chest of drawers and opened the drawer Matt kept an extra set of clothes. She lifted the clothes out of the drawer and placed them on top of the dresser. Kitty saw Matt's spare badge. He kept a spare badge in case he lost the one he was using. She put the badge on top of the clothes. Festus silently observed her.
"If you don't mind, I'd like to take these articles of clothing of Matt's," Kitty said as she turned towards Festus.
"I ain't got no problem with that," Festus responded. "Ya take whatcha need ta take."
Kitty did just that and then headed over to the room Matt rented. He hardly used it anymore, but still paid a monthly rent for it. Matt also kept an extra set of clothes over there. Kitty wanted those clothes too. She had some ideas about what she wanted to do with Matt's clothes.
Kitty's next stop was Doc's office. She had nothing tangible of Matt's to give Doc, and she wanted to explain that to him. Kitty racked her brain as she thought of what to give Doc that had belonged to Matt, but came up with nothing. When she approached Doc's office, she could see his buggy. That was a good sign that he wasn't out of town. She ascended the stairs to Doc's office. Reaching the top, Kitty tapped on the door.
"Come on in," Doc called from the other side. Kitty opened the door and stepped inside. "Oh, Kitty. Come in and have a seat."
"I don't have time to visit. Maybe some other time," said Kitty. "I don't know how to say this, but I have nothing physical of Matt's to give you. He was a man of little means. I gave Festus Matt's knife."
"Kitty, don't fret over that," Doc said gently. "I have fond memories of our friendship. That's enough for me."
"I wish I had more from Matt than just some clothes," Kitty sighed. "I thought someday I would."
"Me too, Kitty. Me too," said Doc. He knew exactly what Kitty was referring to. She wanted to have Matt's babies. He had been looking forward to someday being a grandfather to a few Dillon-Russell combinations.
Over the next couple of weeks Washington sent words of condolences and that a new Marshal would be sent. Kitty couldn't imagine Dodge City with a different Marshal. But that didn't matter. A new Marshal was coming whether she liked it or not. One thing Kitty was certain of was that she was not going to give the new Marshal any of her time. Matt Dillon was the last lawman she would ever involve herself with, maybe even the last man. Nobody could ever replace Matt Dillon.
Whenever Kitty wanted to feel Matt's presence, but didn't have time to go to his grave, she would open the top drawer of her chest of drawers. In that drawer, she kept Matt's extra sets of clothes and his badge. She would take his badge and tightly clasp it in her fist, holding it close to her heart. A minute later she placed the badge back in the drawer. She then took two of Matt's shirts. One she put on and she put the other one on top of her pillow. Wearing Matt's shirt was like being in his arms. Lying down, Kitty put her face on Matt's shirt and pretended she was lying on his chest. Of course, if he was in bed with her, Kitty would have her head on Matt's bare chest. For he would not have been wearing a shirt.
As Kitty's face rested against Matt's shirt, she closed her eyes and waited for visions of Matt's face to enter her mind. She became upset when that didn't happen. Kitty willed Matt to enter her thoughts once more, but still nothing happened. What was going on? Why couldn't she picture Matt's face? It suddenly dawned on Kitty that no matter how hard she tried she just couldn't picture Matt's face anymore. She had forgotten what he looked like.
TBC