Jack O'Neill slowly opened his eyes and waited for the world to come into focus. When a well-known gray ceiling appeared above him, he knew instantly where he was. "Ah, crap. What did I do this time?"
"Oh, please! You are not going to try to claim you don't remember wandering off on M7C332--without weapons or backup, I might add--and ending up the local Goa'uld's very own personal Jack-snack?" Daniel's smirking face moved into range of the colonel's bleary eyes.
Had he asked that out loud? He tilted his head toward the archaeologist and groaned when the damaged muscles in his neck and shoulder protested. "What?"
The familiar click of Janet Fraiser's heels interrupted the pair before anything more could be said. She strolled up to her patient with a wide smile and reached for his chart. "It's good to see you've decided to rejoin the waking world, Colonel. You gave us quite a scare."
"Huh?" He blinked slowly, still trying to clear the sleepy fog from his mind.
Janet's smile disappeared, and she turned a serious eye to him. "Do you know where you are, sir?"
"SGC." He wrinkled his nose, which brought the hint of a smile back to her face. "Infirmary."
"That's right, Colonel," she encouraged. She closed the chart and clutched it in front of her with both hands. "Can you tell me the last thing that you remember?"
He frowned for a moment and considered his answer. "We were on 332. Daniel got pissy because I wouldn't hang around the gate and let him look at the rocks. Someone was watching us. We started into the city, but got attacked by some invisible, huge, honkin' bird-thing."
"Oh, please! I got pissy? What about you? In the library?" Jackson demanded.
Fraiser sent a warning look to the archaeologist before turning her attention back to her patient. "You don't remember anything after that?" she prodded.
He frowned again, then gave a minute shake of his head. "Got nothing after the huge, honkin' bird tried to grab me."
"Ah, actually it was a bat. Well, not exactly a real bat, per se. It was in reality a vampire who had changed into a bat. And made herself invisible," he added helpfully.
O'Neill just stared incredulously, waiting for a punch line that never came. "Oh, come on! There is no such thing as vampires. Especially not ones that turn into a bats and go around making themselves invisible."
Daniel nodded solemnly and tapped the side of his own neck before nodding toward the colonel's. "Jack-snack."
Suddenly keenly aware of the bandage on the right side of his neck, his hand flew to the dressing. Heart racing, he turned wide eyes to Janet. "Doc?"
The tiny doctor again directed an angry look at Jackson before attempting to soothe her patient. "Take it easy, Colonel. You need to stay calm," she added with yet another glare in the civilian's direction. "We're replacing the lost fluids, and we've stitched the wounds from the initial attack by the. . .bat. You're fine."
"This is a joke, right? I didn't really get bitten by a vampire." He was still having trouble believing the news and waited for her to confirm his assessment.
She carefully shook her head, much to his complete shock. "I'm sorry, sir, but I'm afraid this is no joke. While no one witnessed the actual bite, you were found with two puncture marks and bruising directly over your external carotid artery. You're also missing far more blood than can be accounted for from the wounds on the left side of your neck and shoulder. As unlikely as it may seem, it does appear that you've been bitten by a vampire."
"But don't people turn into vampires after they get bitten?" He looked frantically around the room, only then realizing that he was in one of the isolation units. "That's why I'm in here, isn't it? I'm gonna turn into one!"
"Jack, that's nothing but a legend--an earth legend, I might add--and it has no basis in fact." The archaeologist refrained from going into more detail as Fraiser added her agreement.
"Daniel is right, sir. From what we've been able to determine from the planet's inhabitants, there is no danger of you being transformed into a vampire simply from being bitten."
Not completely mollified, he demanded more. "So you're sure I'm not going to turn into a-a-a. . ." Unable to say the word aloud, his voice trailed off as his eyes searched hers for answers.
She directed yet another look at the archaeologist that promised extremely large needles in his very immediate future, at which point he wisely decided a swift retreat was in order. "Ah, I think I heard my name being paged, so if you'll excuse me, I'll just. . .um. . .yeah. I'll. . .see you later." He backed cautiously toward the door as he spoke, but hesitated at the exit. "I really am glad you're okay, Jack." After waiting to be certain his friend understood and accepted the apology, he quickly took off down the hall.
"So, Doc?" O'Neill demanded.
Janet shook her head in exasperation at the departed linguist and turned back to her patient. "No, sir, you're not going to turn into a vampire. The. . .creature who rescued you assured Major Carter that you would have to ingest blood from a vampire in order for the transformation to take place. She said she found no sign of cuts or wounds on the vampire that. . .bit you. She seemed quite certain that you hadn't been infected. Once we got you back here and stabilized, we pumped your stomach and found no traces of any blood, indicating that she was correct."
The colonel looked doubtful. "And we really trust this. . .creature? How do we know for sure she's not lying? I mean maybe she wants to see earth turn into Vampireville, too."
The petite doctor mentally sighed, cursing Jackson for forcing the issue out into the open so soon. She had hoped that O'Neill would have been more recovered before the need to have this particular discussion arose. "Admittedly, we can't know with absolute certainty that she was being completely truthful. Which is why, just to be on the safe side, we're going to keep you under very close observation and do frequent checks for any irregularities in your blood for the next few days."
"Sweet." His sarcastic tone left no doubt he regarded the prospect of several days' worth of needles and constant scrutiny as anything but.
She reached out and gently placed her hand on his uninjured shoulder. "You're going to be fine, sir. Really."
He managed a slight nod and finally allowed his own hand to drop away from his neck. He stifled a groan and sighed as he leaned back into the pillows to ponder his situation. Jeez, it was bad enough finding out it had been a bat that had attacked him, but to know he'd been bitten by an honest-to-goodness, real, live vampire? That it had not only bitten him, but nearly drained him dry, from what he gathered. It felt like they were talking about some really bad B-movie they'd all seen--only he'd slept through most of it. He closed his eyes and forced himself to resist the urge to rub the bite area. Fraiser watched him for a long moment, then patted his shoulder and prepared to take her leave. "Try to get some rest, sir."
He made no reply, already drifting off into an uneasy sleep.
Daniel hugged the doorframe to Sam's lab and peered inside to wait for an opening to speak. She was bent over studying something that looked like a tiny computer chip and was so engrossed that she seemed to not have a clue anyone was watching her. Just as his patience was about to run out, she straightened and moved over to make some notes. Before he could even move a muscle, she spoke. "Be with you in a minute, Daniel."
He shook his head, smiling. "You're getting as difficult to sneak up on as Jack and Teal'c, you know."
Now finished with her notes, she smiled back. "Maybe you just need to work on your stealth tactics. Hey, here is a tip for you: Never drum your fingers on the doorframe unless you want to be noticed. It's a dead giveaway."
"Thanks, I'll be sure to keep that in mind," he answered wryly. "So have you got a minute?"
She moved back to the table where she been working and began to clear away the tools she'd been using. "Sure, what's up?"
He moved into the lab and spread a small stack of paper out over her now cleared table. "I've been working on that text that the Sruthangiolla gave us, the one that tells their story. I was wondering if you could take a look at these and tell me what you think."
"Sure, I'd be glad to." Sam nodded and then began to read through the pages. When she finished the last one, she looked up and whistled. "This sounds like the Ancients were experimenting with nano-technology. You should really get Janet to look at this."
"Yes, well, actually I was hoping you might be able to help me out with that." He looked at her with puppy-dog eyes in a further attempt to sway her.
She snorted, all but dashing his hopes. "I'm sure you were. What on earth did you do to make her so mad? I mean, for the past couple of days, she goes off at even the slightest mention of your name."
"Oh, you know. The usual. When Jack first woke up, he was asking questions and I. . .answered." He shrugged nonchalantly and tried to deflect her attention. "So, will you take it down there for me?"
She smiled and smugly replied, "Sure. Just as soon as you tell me the real reason."
He sighed, knowing she had him by the short and curlies. "Well, how was I supposed to know she didn't want him knowing about his being Leanansidhe's main course until he remembered on his own?"
She snorted again. "Oh, please tell me you didn't!"
"Hey, I really didn't say much. In fact, it was only two words."
"Uh-huh. And exactly what two words would that be?"
He winced and then mimicked the gestures he'd made to the colonel. "Jack-snack."
She laughed heartily, shaking her head. "Oh, Daniel." She then gathered the papers and headed out of the lab.
He walked with her in silence until the elevator doors opened. As she stepped inside, he waved to her. "Thanks."
She turned around and nodded. Before the doors could close all the way, she caught them and called out to his retreating form. "Hey, Daniel! About Janet?" She waited for him to turn completely around. "Be afraid. Be very afraid."
"Ow! What the hell are you trying to do to me?" The unmistakable bellow of SG-1's leader echoed down the hallway as Sam exited Janet's office. The CMO hadn't been in, so she had simply left the translations from Daniel on her desk with a note. She'd intended to head straight back to her lab, but quickly found herself changing course and heading to Colonel O'Neill's room instead. As she neared his isolation room, the familiar roar again thundered through the hallways.
"Aren't you done yet? Hey, watch it! Ouch! Where the heck did you get your training, Sadists"R"Us?" There was no doubt about it, the colonel was definitely in rare form.
Carter stopped to survey the room before entering. Inside, a young lab technician was nearly in tears as she finished drawing a blood sample. "I'm s-sorry, sir. N-normally, I-I'm very good at th-th-this." The trembling woman quickly disposed of the gloves and needle she'd used, gathered her supplies, and left without another word.
Sam watched him peek under the wad of cotton that was supposed to be taped tightly against the puncture site, the scowl never leaving his face. She took a deep breath to brace herself for battle and stepped into the room.
She put on her brightest smile and approached the grumpy patient. "Sir, I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd drop by and see how you're doing."
His scowl lessened only slightly at the sight of her, and he didn't hesitate to inform her of his displeasure. "Oh, everything is just peachy, Major. I'm stuck in here twiddling my thumbs and staring at the walls, they come in and jab me with needles fifty million times a day, and the food royally sucks--that was not intended to be a joke, by the way. What more could a guy ask for?"
He tossed the bloody swab into the trash, but didn't wait for her response before moving on. "So what's up with you? Anything interesting going on out there? Nobody will tell me squat around here."
"I've been working in my lab, mostly. We managed to get enough from '332 to keep me busy for quite awhile. I'll spare you the details for now, though." She smiled at him again, at which point he nodded in approval. "Oh, SG-6 had a run-in with Olokun's Jaffa yesterday. Lawson got the worst of it, a staff blast to the shoulder, but he should up and around in no time. SG-13 just got back a little while ago from P7R 949. They found Heru-ur's abandoned base, but it had already been cleaned out. They found a few odd staff weapons and some zats, but nothing significant." As she went on to give him a rundown on the other teams' activities, O'Neill gratefully soaked up every scrap of news that she provided.
They'd been chatting only a short while when a second visitor from the team showed up. Sam's eyes widened in surprise to see Daniel stride into the room with a big smile on his face as he greeted them. "Hey, guys. What's up?"
"Finished translating already?" she asked skeptically.
"Not exactly," he hedged. "More like taking a short break. So I thought I'd come by here and see if there was anything Jack needed."
"In other words, he found out that Fraiser was at Cassy's school-thing, and it was safe to come down here," informed a smirking O'Neill.
Carter's eyes twinkled with amusement. "Ah, that would certainly explain a lot." Not one to hold a grudge, she turned to the archaeologist. "Anything more on the nanobot research?"
The colonel's good mood instantly evaporated. "Nanobots? Did you say 'nanobots'? As in 'pesky little beggars that send a guy on the fast track to a premature geriatric joy ride' nanobots?"
"Yes."
"No!"
His visitors answered simultaneously, leaving him more confused than ever. His 2IC was quick to jump in before he could demand an explanation, though. "The Ancient scientists were apparently experimenting with nanobots on '332, but they weren't trying to accelerate the aging process, as happened to you on Argos. We think they were attempting to find a cure for a disease that had reached epidemic proportions in the Sruthangiolla. The text that we were given is pretty one-sided and a lot of details are missing. We'll need the Ancients' side of the story before we can say with certainty what actually happened. It would really help if we could go back and investigate the library in their compound," she hinted.
"Are you nuts? Hammond will never approve it--and with good reason! I don't believe you two! You can't seriously want to willingly go back to a planet ruled by a vampire Goa'uld with a whole slew of vampire followers just waiting to suck you dry!" The two subordinates shrank back at the fury of their commander's outburst.
When O'Neill finally wound down, Carter braved explaining further. "Actually, sir, if we take a supply of fresh blood with us, the only problem would be the Goa'uld. And it's not like we haven't gone up against Goa'ulds before," she reasoned.
"Not a vampire Goa'uld, Carter! There is no way Hammond will okay a mission back there with that blood-sucking snake head still on the loose."
Before he could rant any further, a nurse marched in with an arm full of fresh bandages and supplies. "Time to change those dressings, Colonel." She then turned to the two visiting members of SG-1 and informed them, "I'm sorry, but you'll have to step out for a few minutes."
"Excuse me, but we're not finished with our discussion yet. Come back later," ordered the contrary O'Neill.
The nurse wasn't intimidated and refused to back down. "I'm sorry, sir, but your discussion will have to wait. Dr. Fraiser's orders."
"We'll wait outside, sir." Carter grabbed Daniel and pulled him along out the door without waiting for a response. The pair could hear their leader's curses even out in the hallway as they returned to their previous topic of conversation.
"We've got to find a way back to that library, Sam. The Sruthangiolla weren't advanced enough to understand the mechanics behind the Ancients' technology. If we are going to find a way to help them, we have to go back for the scientists' notes and reports. Are you sure there isn't anything in what you brought back with us?"
Carter shook her head. "No, nothing that I've found so far seems to be nanite-related. There's still a lot to go through, though."
The nurse exited the room with the angry patient calling out after her. "Just wait until I get out of here! I outrank you, ya know!"
She rolled her eyes at the empty threats and gestured to the waiting visitors. "He's all yours now, and you're more than welcome to him." She then headed off to complete her reports, muttering under her breath about heaven and salvation from cranky colonels.
The pair hesitated before going back in. They exchanged a silent look, shook their heads, and quickly made their way to the elevator.