"We're going to have to find you a new look."

He startles me, even though I was walking into his house I didn't expect for him to be standing there waiting.

I smile, "What you mean because they have dozens of pics of me?"

"If it makes you feel better they don't have a good face shot, it's just kinda a blur." he says walking into the living room, leaving me to follow him.

"So what are you thinking?"

He's smiling as he turns, "Remember when we went after Sparacino"

"You want me to walk around in a short skirt and fishnets until we all figure out how to all join hands and sing Kumbaya?"

His eyes twinkle, "Were you in fishnets?" He smiles, "I was thinking more of just the blonde wig."

"Yea because platinum hair isn't noticeable."

"Max, you could be dressed in a tarp and still be noticeable."

This conversation is totally not one I was expecting, but is pretty similar to all of the hand holding as of late. "So you haven't asked why I came by."

"You don't need a reason to stop by."

"Oh that's good because I just really wanted a reason to get out of Terminal City."

I look around "So" I say with a nod of my head "I like what you've done with the place." The house is just as messy as Joshua left it and so incredibly unlike Logan.

"Yea I've been kind of focused getting Eyes Only up and running again I haven't really had the time to do…" he looked around at the mess "anything with the place."

"Well at least you have enough art for the walls."

"Yea" he walks over at a stack of Joshua's paintings leaning up against a wall and flips through them, "Okay you know I love all art, but do some of his paintings scare you?"

I can't help but laugh, Logan the man who thought splatter was art, "I thought I was alone on that." I look around and realize there's one propped up on the fireplace, "Well you put one up already"

He looks at it, the sensuous, strong lines, the darkness of the black contrasted with the white of the remaining canvas and the fiery red lines. He bites his lip as he looks at me, slightly embarrassed "It's titled Max"

"That's me?" I say raising an eyebrow

"Is it really sad that I recognized that as you without being told by Joshua?"

"We're going to blame that on your love of art." I look at it again and see nothing "So how could you see this was me?"

"Well obviously it's not your physical self, it's your soul Max, your incredible strength combined with your weakness, your humanity." His cheeks flush a bit "You know what I'm going to shut up now. It's that whole poem thing all over again." He laughs and I give a quick uncomfortable chuckle.

There's a lull in the conversation and we both get even more uncomfortable real quick. I see the suit and am grateful.

"So that was pretty cool with the jumping on the car thing."

"Uh yea"

Okay I can see what he's thinking, that happened four days ago… "With all the chaos that was going on I never got to…"

"Yea, no…It's fine, now that I don't need to keep me upright it's uh pretty cool."

"It was pretty cool when all it was doing was making you walk."

Dammit Max, why the hell did you say that. We're both thinking of our anniversary now and how I once more screwed everything up.

"Uh, so what did the Doc say about you staying vertical this time around?"

"I have no idea, Carr left remember?"

Mentally kicking myself, "Oh that's right. I'm sorry"

"Don't be…I'll find another doctor."

"What about Shankar?"

"Harbor Lights doesn't really have the same resources that Crestview had."

"It'll all work out."

"I know it will. So what about the hair? Actually maybe I'll get you a selection of wigs for daytime use. Dark probably works best for your other activities, so you won't want to dye it."

"I'll have Original Cindy get on it….I think she might be better at that stuff than you."

"What you didn't like the one I picked out for you before?"

"I think you enjoyed it a little too much" I stop laughing abruptly, what the hell do I keep doing?

He gets serious, "Max we should talk."

Dammit, dammit, dammit. "About what?"

"About the fact that you lied to me about Alec being your boyfriend." his eyes connect with mine, trapping them.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Max, I know it's a lie." he smiles a bit

I groan, "He said he wouldn't tell."

"He didn't, you did." he looks at me with compassion

I simply looked at him puzzled.

"It was either you lied about Alec or you were a horrible girlfriend."

"Probably didn't help that I said that thing about being your girlfriend."

He laughs "Yea that was what pretty much what tipped me off on this."

I shake my head, "It was just easier."

"Easier for whom exactly?"

"Both of us… You know easier for me not to kill you… Easier for you to stay alive."

"Max I hate to break this to you, but there's a war going on out there."

Why did he say that? Doesn't he know I don't want to think about that. I don't want to think of what could have happened when he jumped up to take out that sniper, when he provided the cover fire to get us back in the building…I can't bear to think about those things. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"We aren't guaranteed a tomorrow anymore. I mean before it was easier, jobs went bad, they didn't go how we planned, but we planned them, we knew when to expect them for the most part. But now…Everyone's gunning for you, Max."

"That's just the thing, they're gunning for me, not you."

"This isn't your fight alone."

"This shouldn't be your fight."

"But it is…the moment I met you…your world became mine, just like mine became yours. Why'd you help me out all those times Max? Why'd you go on every single mission I asked you to go on, even when you didn't agree with me?"

"I was afraid you'd end up getting yourself shot again and that you wouldn't be so lucky as to just lose your legs."

"See that's just the thing Max, it's the same with me. I'm not the greatest help, I don't have Alec's strength."

"Yea you've just got the brains that figures everything out."

He smiles "That's only because I'm the one whose sole job is sitting in front of a computer all day. How did we get onto this subject?"

"I have no idea."

"Okay well the point is I am incredibly glad you are not with Alec."

I can't help but laugh

"Hush up I'm not done, as incredibly grateful I am that you are not with Alec, I'm saddened also. I want you to be happy Max and while personally I think we could be happiest together not being able to touch than being able to touch someone else, it's not my decision to make."

"I'm happiest that way Logan, but how many times do I have to almost kill you for you to realize that we can't be together. One of these days it's going to happen, I'm going to touch you or you're going to grab me again and you're going to die."

"And like I was saying Max, I could die tomorrow, how would you feel then? You can't keep me safe from the world Max as much as you want to be able to, you can't."

"What happens if we don't beat this thing?"

"Which thing are you talking about? The virus? The breeding cult? White, though he does just fall under the cult category. Or the fact that the country is against the transgenic community?"

"Am I a horrible person for caring the most about the virus?"

"Why would you be a terrible person for that?"

"I think I wouldn't have helped hundreds of innocent people rather than risk hurt you. I would have never gone into Manticore, even knowing that I would be setting these people free, if I knew that at any single moment, one act of stupidity could cause your death. You really are my family Logan, you're my family more than anyone else and I hate that about myself."

"Well hey Max you want to know something? You're never going to have to chose between me and them, so you have nothing to feel guilty about. And as Josh would say "This virus bitch is going down." Anything further that he says I'm going to not mention at the time."

I can't help but smile, "And I thank you for that."

"Ah screw it I'm mentioning it, I had to think of you and Alec.." Logan shudders

"Hey, I had to pretend like I was, trust me it was worse for me."

"Well the point is Max, even if we find a cure just for a half hour, I'm throwing you to the floor."

I can'tstop my mouth from slightly dropping and forming a small O. The Logan I was never prepared for, the total guy Logan, not my caring, sympathetic, romantic Logan, it was the what's wrong with dating two girls Logan.

"Hmm, probably shouldn't have said that, but I've spent over a month thinking there was something going on between you and Alec."

Move to a new topic Max, my inner voice tells me. "Was it Alec that made you so angry or just the fact that it wasn't you?"

"Combination. I like Alec, don't get me wrong, but…"

"But what?"

"I don't know, he is a good guy though."

"I had a dream that you and Asha were making out at Crash. I really hate her by the way."

Logan laughs, "There's never been anything between us."

"I know" I frown "You want to know something even worse. It wasn't even you in my dream, just two look-alikes, how are you even faithful in my nightmares?"

He just laughs at me as he sits down and I realize we had had this whole breakthrough while pacing.

"So what are we doing?" I say sitting down across from him

"We're gonna make it through this Max" and he looks down at his hands, his bare hands "I wish I had been expecting you."

"We're going to go through a lot of gloves aren't we?"

"Yea, but we're going to get through this. We've just got to stay strong. Max, you died and we stayed strong. Every night, hell every day I thought about the day you would come back to me."

"The thought of coming home is what kept me strong."

"Have it keep you strong again Max. We're gonna beat this, even if we never beat the virus, we won't let them keep us apart again, they don't get that power." He leans closer "God I wish I could kiss you."

I sit back removing the temptation and laugh, "This is gonna suck."

He nods as he stands, "Come on I've got a bottle of wine in the kitchen."

I just smile as I follow him, we're back on track...again and I have a feeling that this was the last screw up we'rere gonna need.